The next only thing I remember about my childhood was when I was one.

Dad, in a surprisingly smart move, decided to keep me in baby pen.

"Oh isn't this great, Lone?" asked my father excitedly. "The vault overseer gave you and me this playpen as a welcoming gift!"

Me, well, I was too busy trying to get out of the playpen to listen.

"There were a lot of themes that came with them, like the vault-boy theme, the Nuka-cola theme, the Shawshank theme…"

I proceeded to violently bang my head against the play pen.

"So I decided to go with the metaphor theme! The same theme our apartment has" Dad said, absolutely delighted. "Aren't I so clever?"

No, you really aren't. Thank god that mom had the dominant genes, nothing bad that I can inherit from them at least.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you this, but your mother had hereditary heart cancer that was passed through her family line for ages. That means there's a high probability that you will get it! Isn't that great?" my dad said cheerfully.

I hate this man.

"Anyway, I'm going to go break into the overseer's office to find data that'll help with my lifelong project that I'll completely abandon you for, thinking that you'll be safe, until it turns out that I unwittingly threw you to the wolves" dad said as he wagged his finger in front of my face, "so stay in the playpen"

Trust me when I say that it took all the self control that my one year old self could muster to not bite off his finger and use it as a chess pawn.

As dad finally walked out the room, I still was ramming my whole little body at the play pen gate. That didn't work. At all. As I lay sprawled in front of the gate, about to give up, I spotted small piece paper attached to the gate labeled: "instructions". Due to my super baby intelligence, I was able to read the instructions. "To open gate, simply lift latch" it read.

Wait a second, now that I think about it, why didn't I think of that! I'm a super baby genius for Christ sakes! Ugh, I threw the thought aside as I continued reading.

"It's so easy, that a one year old could do it! Ps. any parent who owns this play pen is a total brain dead moron."

Oh they have no idea I thought as I lifted the latch.

At first I marveled at the toys spread around the room, trying to decide which one I would play with first, that's when I spotted it. It didn't look like much at first glance, blue background, a baby vault-boy, and the title: "You're SPECIAL!" emblazoned on the front. Just a regular children's book.

But, it didn't feel that way at all. It was like the book was my destiny or a big part of it anyway. It was like it was me. I quickly picked it up and read through the pages. Each page had a word on it and a number. Strength 7, Agility 7, Charisma 6, etc. It was like that for all the words and numbers except one: Intelligence 10.

What the-? How? I thought

I went through the other pages, trying to look for an answer. Until a folded piece of paper fell out from the book. I quickly unfolded it and read that it was a contract. Signed by dad!

It pretty much just said that dad's "Transfer of intelligence to sole heir" was completed. Was this why dad was such an idiot all the time? Because he gave his intelligence to me?

Well, someone felt like an asshole.

Why would he do that, though? I thought the contract said that he had at least 7 INT. Why would he give me 5 of his INT?

Guess the remaining 2 INT. explains how dad didn't swallow a live grenade thinking it was food by now, yet.

It was at that time that dad walked in and noticed me reading the contract.

"Ah, so you found it huh, kiddo?" he said with a sigh "I was hoping to hide it till you were older"

Yeah great idea, hide whatever you're hiding from your child in a children's book. After this recent revelation, I kind of understood dad. But he was still an f*cking moron.

As dad kneeled in front of me, he proceeded to explain that, after mom died, he promised himself that he couldn't let the same happen to me. So he made a deal with this scientist that he met at Rivet city, Pinkorton. The deal was: give his son the intelligence as bright as a thousand suns, or Star Paladin Cross would use Pinkorton's spine to play jump rope.

Pinkorton heartily agreed of course, but there was a catch. Pinkorton needed dad's intelligence to add to mine. Dad agreed to give 3 of his, Pinkorton went with went ahead and gave me 5.

If I was ever going to meet this Pinkorton fellow, I would definitely high-five this guy. Then shoot his face with a shotgun for leaving me here with dad.

Dad then led towards a framed… poem?

Dad noticed my confusion and started to explain.

"Lone, this is a passage from the bible" he said, "a book used by followers of Christianity that managed to, for some reason, piss off everyone else"

Dad shrugged "The Jews were cool with it, though"

"Anyway, this particular passage was your mother's favorite" dad continued, "Oh, and the numbers aren't important so don't bother remembering it"

Dad then proceeded to stand up "Oh enough of my ramblings, come on, it's time for your play date with Amata!"

He took me by the hand and we proceeded to walk out the apartment. As we left, I looked behind me to see that the vault-boy on the cover of the book. His eyes were glowed demonic red.

Something told me that dad sold a lot more than his INT. to ensure that I'd never die…