Have any of you ever have those days when your life is just kittens and rainbows, when everything was just great, perfect, normal. And then one day those kittens and rainbows are just violently shoved into a meat grinder and turned into a grey-ish pile of mush? Well that's kinda how I felt after Amata woke me up.

Of course, like the good best friend she was, she woke me by obnoxiously screaming at me when our faces were two inches apart.

"Lone? Lone!" she screamed, "Lone Wanderer, c'mon! WAKE UP!"

I quickly sat up, dazed, confused, and really sleepy "Huh? Wha-? What's goin' on?"

I quickly turned my head to see the half crazed and hysteric eyes of my best friend. Which, I'm not gonna lie, scared the holy crap out of me.

"Oh my god! What is that? It's so horrible! It's…" I trailed off, realizing who I was screaming at. "Oh hey, it's you Amata. That's weird, I was just dreaming about you"

"Lone! Get serious here! This is not the time to-" She abruptly stopped and blushed a little, "Wait… you… dreamt about me?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I was dreaming about graduation. You know, when you and me got really drunk and, uh, had se-"

"No! Don't you dare say it, Lone" she interrupted, face now fully red. "I thought we agreed that that night never happened!"

I put on a hurt face, "Aww, even the handcuffs and the whip cream?"

"Especially the handcuffs and the whip cream" she snarled, "You understand, Lone Wanderer!"

I put up my hands in surrender, "Alright, alright. I got it. So, why'd you wake me up?"

She started to tear up. Uh oh, not good, dad must've said something about her weight to her out loud. Again. Gah, that idiot, doesn't he know you're supposed to make fun of Amata's weight behind her back? Whatever, might as well listen to what he did this time.

"Lone, it's… it's your father" she whimpered, "He… h-he left the vault!"

I froze and let the information sink in. What followed was absolute, yet still completely awkward, silence. After a while, Amata, who was starting to get worried, reached out towards me.

"…Lone?" she asked softly.

She jumped back in surprise as my fist rocketed up into the air.

"Oh yeah, baby! He is gone!" I happily shouted, still fist pumping in triumph. "I don't have to put with his dumbass ever again! Woooooh!"

"This is not a joke, Lone!" Amata chastised just as I started breakdancing. "My father's men are looking for you, and they killed Jonas!"

"Jonas? You mean that guy that I knew for like two minutes? Nooo! They will pay" I angrily roared, abruptly stopping my choreographed break dancing routine .

Amata tearfully nodded, "To make matters worst, there's a radroach infestation. Again!"

"Seriously? Hmm, they're probably back for revenge from last time"

"Probably in bigger and angrier numbers too!" Amata agreed.

"So how's the vault security handling the situation?" I asked.

My question was quickly answered by loud girly shriek that came from the hallway, followed by an "OMG, like totally EWW!"

I shook my head in disappointment, "Looks like they're doing an awesome job"

As I shook my head, Amata walked up to me and to my surprise, and utter glee, placed a handgun onto my hand.

"Here, Lone" she said, handing me the gun, "I stole this from my father; you'll probably need it more. I mean, it's not like I'm going to going to get immediately captured after this, right?"

"Yeah, exactly haha" I laughed, "That'd be completely retarded of you"

"Oh, definitely. Anyway, you're going to have to leave the vault, Lone" she said, tearing up again and leaving for the door. "I have to go and not get captured, good luck okay?"

"Alright, hey, thanks Amata" I said to her as she left, and then I was alone. I quickly contemplated my situation. Moronic father escaped vault, only path is to get out of the vault, path is blocked by some vault security with guns being led by a murderous Nazi overlord of an overseer, and finally Amata actually being useful. This was unreal. This is what the kittens and rainbows turned into. Fuck.

I gathered up all the supplies I could carry. BB gun, baseball bat, lockpicks, etc. and left the apartment, things were gonna get real hectic real fast, and I was gonna be in the middle of it… yay?

As I left me and my dad's apartment, I quickly noticed Officer Kendall, who was cowering on a chair in corner, surrounded by radroaches who were jumping at him trying to bite him. I easily walked past him, ignoring his pleas for help. One thing for sure though, that dude can shriek like there's no tomorrow.

Hey, here's a question, why are radroaches called radroaches? I know they mutated from radiation, but still, radroaches. What next? Gnarlypigeons? Tubularbaboons? Mostexcellentgoldfish? My philosophic thoughts were rudely interrupted however by my sort of arch nemesis, Butch DeBitch, running up to me.

"Hey! My mom's being attacked by radroaches! You gotta help her, man!" he frantically pleaded.

I crossed my arms, skeptical. "She's your mom, Butch. Why don't you save her?"

"I wo-would if I could b-but…" he stammered, "I'm scared of them of them, okay!"

I stared at him in disbelief, "Good god, dude. She's your mom, you're really gonna puss out because of this?"

He looked away from me, ashamed. Looking at him like this, I gotta admit, no matter how much he tried to torment Amata and me, and miserably failed at it, I felt sorry for this pathetic sack of crap. Ugh, I gonna have to give in, aren't I?

"Alright, Butch" I sighed, taking out my bat. "Let's go save your mom"

"Yes! Thank you so much, man! You're the best!" he yelled out, overjoyed.

We quickly headed out for Butch's apartment, which was conveniently close by. From the apartment's window, I was able to catch a glimpse of Butch's mom as she was being viciously being bitten by a couple of radroaches. She was most probably screaming in angry German, ha! Where's your Nazi fan club now, bitch?

Anyway, I quickly ran into the apartment, swinging my bat left and right and quickly took out the radroaches. Butch and his mom both ran and hugged each other, thanking the furher that she survived. Blech. Oh well, at least I got a leather jacket out of it.

I quickly left the pathetic mother and son pair and quickly headed for the overseer's office, killing off some vault security and encountering general shenanigans on the way. I finally neared the overseer's office. As I rounded the corner I saw Amata being interrogated by her father and Officer Mack toting a police baton. Wow, I totally did not see this coming, at all.

I crouched down, moved closer to the door and listened in.

"Now listen here, sweetheart. You'd better tell us where your little boyfriend is, or your face is gonna be a stick magnet very soon" Officer Mack said menacingly, gently tapping her face with his stick… wow, that sounded wrong.

Well, time to make my grand entrance, switching to my pistol, I opened the door. Which Officer Mack noticed and looked up in surprise.

"Hey, what th-?" he said, right before the bullet hit his face, and his body slumped onto the floor.

"What's the haps, Fuhrer Dickface?" I said to the overseer as I casually strolled into the interrogation room. "Didn't know that interrogating your daughter was the new 'fad' these days"

"Lone! Thank god you're here" Amata said happily, running to hide behind me. "I didn't tell them anything, I promise."

I gently nodded to her in thanks, "Good job, Amata. Now get out of here, I wanna have a private talk with your dad."

Amata naturally hesitated at this, "Okay, I trust you, Lone. But please don't hurt him, okay?"

"Oh yeah, sure no problem" I replied, "Not like he killed my dad's best friend and sent the entire vault security to kill me, no big deal."

Amata seemingly believed this for reasons you can probably guess, and ran out the door. It was then that turned to the overseer himself, who had observed me and Amata's conversation in eerie silence.

"Now, Mr. Overseer" I said, cracking my knuckles, "Where were we?"

"I hope you're here to turn yourself in, young man" he said to me coldly, "You're in enough trouble as it is."

"Oh yes, that was what I was definitely gonna do" I replied back sarcastically, motioning towards the un-moving body of Officer Mack. "But then these guys just had to get in the way, the meany heads"

"Enough with the wit, young man" the overseer said sternly, "Turn yourself in, or there will be consequences."

"Oh believe me there will be" I said menacingly, taking a couple of steps toward him. "You wouldn't want your daughter hurt badly, do you?"

"…you cold blooded monster" he said, infuriated but defeated.

"Good, now hand me your key and the password"

"Fine, here you go" he said, handing me the key and password. "Don't come back here, I'll have you shot on sight"

"Don't plan to" I simply replied, before my fist slammed into his face. Hard. He was unconscious before he hit the ground. "That was for… wait, what his name again? Was it Jody or Joseph? Oh yeah, Jonas. That was for Jonas you asshole!"

As I walked out of the makeshift interrogation room, I found Jonas' body on the floor of the next room.

"Jonas, no! I only knew you for like two minutes, but you were like a brother to me or something, man" I said tearfully as I looted his corpse. "You will be remembered, I promise"

I then quickly left the body and promptly forgot about it. I found Amata crying in the next room. Wow, it's almost like she was brutally interrogated or something, probably just being dramatic again.

"Hey, Amata cheer up! Look what I found" I said cheerfully, waving the key and password. "Plus, I didn't maliciously and brutally murder your father like I always dreamed of doing. So you owe me"

"Oh wow, that's great, Lone." She sniffed, wiping her tears, "Now, let's get you out of here"

We both hurried over to the overseer's office and easily opened the door with the key, duh, then we entered the password into the big computer. The password was "Amata" awww isn't that precious… and creepily overprotective? Anyway, we found some pretty useful stuff in the computer, I'm not just talkin' about the treasure-trove of porn that we found in there, which I totally didn't download into my pip-boy while Amata wasn't looking.

There was information on the wasteland outside the vault. There was even a settlement nearby called "Megaton", wow that's an even stupider name than mine. Actually no, mine's the epitome of stupid, other than my dad. Plus there was even some info on some giants ants that were known to hang aroung outside the vault. Appropriately labeled: "Holyshitholyshitholyshit big fucking ants!". It had a nice ring to it.

After we read up on the wasteland, we finally opened the secret door under the overseer's desk. And we both entered the secret door, which led straight to the vault door. A giant monster of a machine gate thing. Amata was already working on the control panel.

"Hang on, let me try to open this thing" she said, rapidly pressing buttons on the panel.

There was a banging sound and muffled shouts coming from the locked door behind us. Looks like the rest of the vault security that I didn't slaughter found us.

"Come on, come on!" Amata urged the panel, until there was a loud bleep noise. "Yes! I got it!"

As the vault door opened, it emitted the loudest yet most awesome sound in existence. Me and Amata looked on, awestruck.

I quickly took Amata's hand, "Oh yeah, freedom! Let's go, Amata!"

But she just as quickly took her hand away and shook her head sadly. "I can't, Lone. My place is here, it's my home, I have to stay with my dad, and you have a father out there you have to find"

"You mean the dad that cruelly interrogated you just to kill and find me?" I shrugged, and then smiled. "Okay, good luck with that. Hey, give your dad the finger for me, will ya?"

She nodded, and smiled back, her eyes brimming with tears. "Of course, good luck, Lone!"

And so, I was off. Waving Amata farewell, passing through the vault door, and bursting through the wooden door that led out to the wasteland, I was met with an explosion of reds, browns, and not vault blues. It was fantastic.

As I scanned the horizon, I promised myself that I would find my father, and then beat the shit out of him for leaving me. The father-son bonding would probably come later. But first, I was gonna have a little fun.