On the day you hated most

At the time when she died

In the place where you first jumped on.

It's perfect. I know Tobias will understand the note. Codes can be broken, but not this one. Tobias is the only one who will have the faintest idea what this means.

Wednesday, the day Marcus came back from council meetings in a terrible mood, and took it out on us. Two o'clock in the morning; my estimated time of death. Of course, by then, I was long gone. And the train platform where Tobias jumped to join Dauntless.
I just hope no other important females in his life have died since then.

Next Wednesday, two a.m., at the train platform.

And I'll finally see my son again.

Of course, I've caught glimpses of him over the past few years, but those were secret, stolen glances. I ached to go to the Choosing Ceremony, but I can't risk being seen. If I was spotted, and recognised, I would be in more trouble than I can afford to be in.

And then I saw him at the game of Dare, just like I'd hoped to, out in the streets. He was laughing with another boy, short and slight with dark hair, and a girl. I hoped he would notice me, but I knew this wasn't the time.

He didn't come ziplining. I risked a trip to the Hancock building just in case he was there, one hundred floors up, but I didn't see him. Although I got as close as I dared, I had to admit defeat. I ignored the little voice in my head that tells me Tobias doesn't like heights, although I wish I hadn't.

I still remember the shock I felt when I heard Tobias had chosen Dauntless. I never thought he would choose anything but Abnegation, as all Abnegation do. But once I'd put I aside the shock, I knew that now was the time. Without Marcus, or any other Abnegation to hinder the process.

I'm sure that Marcus explained that I'm not dead. He knows, after all. It's been years since I vanished, since I was registered dead. Marcus knows everything. In fact, a lot of the Abnegation know everything. But would they admit that one of their members left them?

I don't dare to deliver the note, in case someone recognises me. Instead, I ask Ellen, a former Dauntless member, as one of them, and send her off with strict instructions and the letter. An hour later, she returns, telling me that the note is in Tobias's apartment. I breathe a sigh of relief. The difficult part is over.

Now for the hardest part.

I leave late; one forty-five in the morning. I know that if Tobias is coming at all, he'll be early, and I don't want to have to wait for him. As I leap onto a train, leaping onto the second-last car, I think of Tobias. What he'll say when he sees me.

As I watch the platform looming, getting bigger and bigger until I jump out, I see a figure waiting. Tobias waited for me. He looks into my eyes blankly until I'm a few feet away, when recognition sparks in his gaze. Surprised, shocked, something more intense, his expression changes and finally settles on something tense and unreadable.

'Tobias,' I breathe. His eyes are wide, childlike. Almost vulnerable. 'I know this must be… alarming for you.' Well, that's not true. I don't know what he's feeling at all; it's not like this has happened to me before.

Suddenly his face closes off, like a door slamming. 'You're supposed to be dead.' I don't recognise his voice. It's deeper and stronger than his childlike voice that I remember. The first thing he says to me when I come back from the dead, or so he thought. But wouldn't Marcus have told him?

I almost want to laugh, and I would if it hadn't been for an emotionless tone in his voice. 'I know,' I reply softly. 'I'm not.'

'Obviously.' This isn't the voice I remember. Tobias sounds sarcastic, almost snide, something he never would have dared to do before. 'Were you ever even pregnant?'

The question rattles me for a second, before I remember. They would have had to come up with an excuse, a cause of death. 'Pregnant? Is that what they told you, something about me dying in childbirth? No, I wasn't. I had been planning my exit for months. I needed to disappear. I thought he might tell you when you were old enough.'

Tobias laughs. 'You thought that Marcus Eaton would admit that his wife left him. To me.'

I'm confused. 'You're his son,' I say. 'He loves you.'

He laughs again; strange, mechanical, almost scary.

'You have a right to be angry that you were lied to,' I say. 'I would be angry too.' No, I wouldn't. 'But, Tobias, I had to leave, I know you understand why…' I reach for his wrist, but he pushes me away.

'Don't touch me,' he says, and I back away.

'All right, all right,' I reply, although it isn't. I back away a few paces. 'But you do understand, you must.' I don't know whether I'm trying to convince myself or him.

'What I understand is that you left me in a house with a sadistic maniac,' he snarls. As Tobias crosses his arms, he really does look like a Dauntless. This is not the Tobias that I knew. There are creases on his forehead, dark rings under his eyes, the shadow of bruises in his face. The way he talks; sarcastic, snide, strong. Not the slightest hint of happiness. Even his voice is deeper and rougher. He's grown to six foot, tall and muscular. There's a new stability in the way he stands, like he's ready for anything.

Where is the Tobias that I knew?

'I-' I try to start again but he cuts me off.

'Stop wasting my time. What are we doing here?' He tosses a piece of paper on the ground, and I realise with a start it's the note I sent him, the note I knew Ellen would deliver safely. 'It's been seven years since you died,' and the last word is said with a contempt I didn't know Tobias had in him, 'and you never tried to do this dramatic reveal before, so what's different now?'

Seven years. So much less, so much more. 'We…the factionless… like to keep an eye on things. Things like the Choosing Ceremony. This time, our eye told me that you chose Dauntless. I would have gone myself, but I didn't want to risk running into him.' Marcus. I don't say his name, but Tobias knows just as well as I do. 'I've become…kind of a leader to the factionless, and it's important that I don't expose myself.'

Tobias's face twists. 'Well, well. What important parents I have. I'm so very lucky,' he adds sourly.

'This isn't like you. Is even a part of you happy to see me again?' I ask, trying not to sound too desperate but fearing that I am.

'Happy to see you again,' he repeats. 'I barely remember you, Evelyn. I've almost lived as long without you as I did with you.' Each word is a stab in the chest, harder than anything ever before.

I thought that the hardest thing would be delivering the note. I've imagined the reunion so many times, but never had it been like this. He was nine years old when I left him. I don't know why I thought he'd never get over it, why I thought Marcus would tell him.

The only thing I can do is finish what I came here to do, what no one else can tell him. 'When you chose Dauntless, I knew it was time to reach out to you. I've always been planning to find you, after you chose and you were on your own so that I could invite you to join us.'

'Join you,' he repeats, his mouth twisting like he tastes something sour. 'Become factionless? Why would I want to do that?' The incredulousness in his voice shocks me.

'Our city is changing, Tobias. The factionless are coming together, and so are Dauntless and Erudite. Sometime soon, everyone will have to choose a side, and I know which one you would rather be on.' I regret the words as soon as they are out of my mouth. 'I think you could really make a difference with us,' I finish weakly.

When he speaks, his voice is derisive, almost malicious. 'You know which one I'd rather be on. Really. I'm not a faction traitor, I chose Dauntless; that's where I belong.'

'You aren't one of those mindless danger-seeking fools. Just like you weren't a suffocated Stiff drone. You can be more than either, more than any faction.' Selfless, honest, brave, smart and kind. Divergent.

'You have no idea what I am or who I can be. I was the first ranked initiate. They want me to be a Dauntless leader.' He doesn't bother to mask the pride in his voice, and for a second I'm proud. But then I remember what's really happening.

'Don't be naïve,' I say, narrowing my eyes. 'They don't want a new leader, they want a pawn they can manipulate. That's why Jeanine Matthews frequents Dauntless headquarters, that's why she keeps planting minions in your faction to report on their behaviour. You haven't noticed that she seems to be aware of things she has no right to be aware of, that they keep shifting Dauntless training around, experimenting with it? As if the Dauntless would ever change something like that on their own.'

Tobias's face changes again, before settling on exhaustion, no trace of the malicious energy that I saw when I met him. He leans towards me slightly. 'Even if you're right… even if you're right about Dauntless, I would never join you.' His voice shakes slightly as he goes on. 'I never want to see you again.'

A punch in the face, a stab in the heart, every word hitting right where it hurts the most. 'I don't believe you,' I say quietly. How can he not want to see me? I'm not like Marcus, not at all.

'I don't care what you believe,' Tobias snarls. He spins past me and walks away, his pace breaking into a run until I see him sprinting away. Pushing the heels of my hands into my eyes, I fight back tears.

That didn't go to plan.

A/N: Sorry about the lack of updates, I was battling a severe case of writer's block combined with a lot on my mind. There's a boy in my class who asked me out. Two problems: My mum would never let me out on a date with a boy (I'm 12 and he's 14). And the worst thing is that I really don't return his crush. I've just been feeling so bad, and I've had no time for stories. I'm still not sure what to do with half the things in my life, but I'm still trying, please just bear with me :)

What did you think? Thanks for reading! Review to tell me what you think about it! :D