Chapter 6:

When Clarke woke from the nightmare this time, she woke Lexa as well. Lexa didn't say anything. She just reached over and pulled Clarke into her. She had to use her bitten shoulder to do it, but the pain barely registered thanks to Clarke's earlier care. Clarke's breathing started to slow as her head rested on Lexa's shoulder. Lexa pulled them both back down and kept Clarke's head in place. She wrapped her other arm around the girl's body and pulled her into her. Clarke was clearly awake enough to realize what was going on and put her arm over Lexa's body, gripping her tightly to pull her closer. Lexa remained awake until Clarke was able to fall back asleep. She kept her grip on the girl to make sure Clarke knew someone had her; someone was there to protect her.

When Clarke woke next, Lexa was brushing her hair out of her face. She was lying next to her apparently watching her sleep.

"Good morning." Clarke greeted with a lump in her throat.

"Yes." Lexa just agreed and kept moving Clarke's hair long after it was already in its proper place.

"You stayed?" Clarke asked.

"Yes." Lexa repeated. "This time." She moved her hand to Clarke's cheek. "I will never say this in front of my people, Clarke, but I should have stayed last time." Clarke was now fully awake. She went to move to say something, but Lexa's thumb met her lips and slid gently across them. "I should have fought with you." Lexa moved her thumb, but her hand went back to Clarke's cheek.

"Yes, you should have." Clarke concurred. "We would have won together."

"I know. I see that now. The moment I turned from you and left…" Lexa slid her hand down to Clarke's neck and held it there. "I've let my head rule my heart for a very long time, Clarke. It is for the best of my people and it must be that way in times of war. I cannot change that."

"I know."

"But I think I would change the past if I could. I would change that night. I would stand and fight with you if it meant you could-"

Clarke didn't need to hear the rest. She knew what Lexa was about to say so instead of listening to her say it, she leaned forward and captured her lips with full intent of not stopping. It was intense from the beginning. Lexa's hand shifted to Clarke's hip and Clarke's were already tangled in Lexa's hair. It didn't take long for Lexa's tongue to shift into Clarke's mouth and within a few moments, Lexa moved on top of her. She was grateful for the work Clarke had put into her shoulder earlier because the pain was gone and she was able to support herself while leaning back down to kiss Clarke again. She'd wanted this for a while and she thought she'd never have it because of the mistake at the mountain. Her lips moved to Clarke's neck and Clarke's hand toyed with the hem of Lexa's tank top until Lexa lifted herself up and pulled it off hastily and reattached her lips to Clarke's. Clarke wanted this too. She wanted Lexa to take control. She wanted this woman who seemed to understand her better than anyone. Better than people who had known her forever. Better than Finn, whom she didn't know for long, but meant something to her. In all those private moments she'd shared with Lexa even before the first kiss, she felt herself wanting to know more about her, wanting to understand her and not just to understand her people and their ways, but also to really understand her. She felt a draw to her from the moment they first met.

Left felt soft and vulnerable while also remaining strong and rough. As her hands drifted downward, Clarke knew there would be a moment of no stopping this so if she wasn't ready, she would have to say something now.

"Lexa…" She whispered while Lexa's tongue dragged along her collarbone. Lexa lifted her head immediately and looked at her.

"I thought…" Lexa started and faded.

"I do. I just wanted you to know…" Clarke faded too and wrapped her hands around Lexa's neck to pull her closer. Their foreheads connected as she continued. "I wanted this then too." She met the blue eyes above her and watched as Lexa smiled. Lexa knew what she meant. Clarke meant the moment Lexa kissed her the first time. Clarke wanted it then. She just couldn't have it yet.

"I don't just want this, Clarke of the Sky People." Lexa proclaimed. "I want my heart back." She didn't wait for Clarke to respond. She kissed her gently again before starting a more passionate one.

Clarke wasn't sure if Lexa meant she just wanted to start feeling with her heart instead of thinking with her head more or if she meant that Clarke was her heart in human form. Either way, it didn't matter. Clarke could sort that out later.

Lexa leaned back and removed her undershirt. She was nearly naked straddling Clarke and Clarke's heart raced. There was no turning back now and she smiled at the thought. She leaned forward and Lexa helped pull off her shirt and her bra. They lay back down together and Lexa lifted Clarke's hands above her head and intertwined their fingers while she continued the rapid assault on her neck. Clarke's breathing was moving faster and faster and she could feel her body beginning to react. Finn had been her first, her only.

On the ark in the beginning, it was all about procreation and relationships like this were frowned upon because they wouldn't yield offspring. Over time though, the population grew and the ark's life support systems couldn't support it. Same sex couples started appearing and it became the norm right along with sterilizations. They were never forced. People had a choice. Unless they committed a crime. Crimes meant you had no choice. Crimes met you were executed regardless of their seriousness.

Clarke had never been with a woman or thought of it until Lexa and she was nervous that she might do something wrong or just not good enough, but the way Lexa made her feel in the moments where their skin touched, pushed those thoughts out of her mind.

Lexa started to slide down Clarke's body and began by sucking on one of Clarke's nipples. That sent an immediate shockwave throughout Clarke's body and she wanted more. Her hips lifted slightly, but enough for Lexa to notice. The girl's hands shifted down to Clarke's pants where she quickly undid them and moved off her body so she could shimmy them down Clarke's legs. Clarke was now only in her underwear, but Lexa gently moved those down her legs too. Lexa remained next to her and Clarke felt more vulnerable than ever before, but she also felt safe. She looked over at Lexa whose eyes were on Clarke's body along with one hand that was gliding up and down soft, but scarred skin. The many battles Clarke had been through since crashing from the sky were on her legs, chest, stomach and arms. Lexa seemed to be admiring them as she grazed them with her fingers.

"Ai hod yu in." Lexa told her as she moved her eyes from Clarke's body to her eyes.

"I don't know that one." Clarke squinted her eyes at the girl who stood to remove the rest of her clothing and climbed back on top of her.

"Yes, you do, Clarke." Lexa leaned back in to kiss her again while shifting Clarke's legs apart with her hand so she could press herself into Clark's body.

Clarke sighed at the feeling and it was almost too much to take, but also somehow not enough. Her arms went around Lexa's body and pressed down so as to express her need. Lexa understood and her hand moved between Clarke's legs and Clarke stopped breathing for a moment. Lexa pulled back to check on her. Clarke smiled at her. She wasn't sure, but she thought she knew what Lexa's words meant. She started breathing again slowly and Lexa's fingers moved at a matching pace. They sped up as Clarke's breath sped up and Lexa leaned into the girl's neck. She just held herself there while her fingers worked and Clarke started to sigh and moan in her ear. The feeling of being pressed against one another was almost enough to make Lexa's breath speed up like Clarke's.

When Clarke came, it was almost silent. Lexa waited before pulling herself up to check on her again. Clarke was breathing heavily and looked up at Lexa with brightness in her eyes Lexa hadn't seen before and she'd thought she'd memorized those eyes. They were in every dream she'd had since they'd met. She slid her fingers down further catching Clarke off guard and moved them inside as she watched Clarke's eyes go wide and then close, but not in tightness associated with tension. They closed in anticipation of the pleasure that was about to come.

Lexa moved her fingers in and out and watched Clarke's face. That was how she knew to slow down or go faster. She pressed them down inside her and curled them up and moved herself back on top of Clarke so she could be closer to her when she came again.

Clarke pulled her in as close as she could and let out a silent scream when Lexa's fingers hit just the right spot and she couldn't believe things could be this good. She'd told Lexa once that life should be about more than just surviving. There should be happiness and joy. In that moment, she didn't know if those things were pipe dreams, but in this one, she knew she could have everything. Lexa made her want everything. She only wanted to make sure Lexa felt the same way so once she was able to come down from the trembling with Lexa holding onto her, she shifted herself on top of the girl and stared down at her. Her body was still feeling the effects of all of Lexa's well-placed touches. She wanted Lexa to feel the same.

She dropped down and kissed her neck and her collarbone hesitantly at first. Lexa made little sounds in time with the kisses. She moved to her breasts and took one in her hand to massage it while first licking the other and watching it peak before sucking it into her mouth. Lexa let out another sound at that. She moved to kiss her stomach and the inside of her thighs before moving back up to lick from her belly button to the other nipple, which she then took into her mouth. Lexa's breathing was quickening and so was Clarke's. She was growing more confident with every touch and as she moved back to kiss the girl, she moved her hand into place.

Lexa's head went backwards exposing more of her neck and Clarke's lips and tongue took proper advantage while her fingers found where she thought they should go.

Lexa felt them take control and she gave in. Clarke fumbled slightly at first until she found a rhythm that seemed to be working.

Lexa lifted herself off the bed along with Clarke as she came. She practically forced Clarke to sit up and straddled her in the bed as Clarke's fingers moved from outside to inside and Lexa started working on top of her. Lexa's tongue played with Clarke's until Clarke moved her lips to Lexa's neck. She gripped Lexa's body at the small of her back with her free hand and helped her move however she desired because it felt good just to watch her feel good.

Lexa screamed a deep scream and crashed her lips back into Clarke's. Clarke let her ride out the feeling before moving her back to lie down so she could be on top of her. She kissed her deeply until Lexa gripped the sides of her head and pulled her back to press their foreheads together instead. She breathed heavily and Clarke just watched her as Lexa's hands moved down to the small of her back where sweat had formed from their movements. Clarke stayed in place until Lexa's hands loosed their grip and then she moved beside her and rolled onto her back. They remained in their positions until they were both able to catch their breath. Lexa rolled over first and reached for Clarke's face, which she turned toward her.

"Nowe gyon au." Lexa spoke in her native tongue. Clarke understood the parts and was able to add it up in her head. Lexa said never go.

"I don't want too." Clarke replied. It was true. She didn't want to leave.

"That doesn't mean you'll stay." Lexa replied with concern.

"It means I don't want to go."

"Clarke-"

"Can I belong here, Lexa? Someone put a snake in my bag to try to kill me. I have armed guards to escort me around the city."

"I will protect you."

"I don't need you to protect me. I just…" Clarke didn't want to be worried about anything right now. She just wanted to wrap herself around Lexa and go back to sleep and ignore the day. "Will it ever be safe for me here?"

"I will make it safe." Lexa stated and opened her arms as if she knew what Clarke wanted. Clarke slid her body over and allowed Lexa to embrace her. "We will make it safe together."

They held one another until Lexa had to leave. She had her duties as the commander and Clarke had to figure out how she could live at the capital with the possibility of grounders wanting to kill her.

She dressed and ate alone in the kitchen before walking outside and taking another look around the beautiful backyard. She decided to take her chances in the cold water remembering how nice it felt before and stripped off her outer clothing making sure there were no guards around to see. Lexa had commanded they remain on the outer perimeter of the yard and house so as to give me space to be free, but protect me at the same time.

She walked along the shore of the river and watched it give way to the wall of a swimming pool. She sat on the edge for a while just taking in the sunlight through the trees before finally sliding down into the cold water and letting it that feeling of renewal rush over her again.

She lowered her head into the water and brought it back out with a laugh. Everything had changed. She no longer felt the burden of having to care of an entire group of people. She could just be here. She could just be happy. She knew though that the nightmares wouldn't just automatically disappear and that the grounders wouldn't just accept her. Lexa would be dealing with the person who tried to kill her with the snake today and Clarke didn't want to think about what she might do to the person. Hopefully, that didn't warrant the horrible punishment she'd saved Finn and Raven from.

She'd have to find something to do with her time. She was already a little bored. She wasn't accustomed to what people used to call vacations. There were no vacations on the ark. It was life and death from the moment Clarke was born. She was used to solitude. She gotten accustomed to it after she was arrested and kept in a cell, but since being on the ground, she'd been busy non-stop. Even in her trek to the capital, she was busy. Being here though, just swimming in Lexa's oasis was not busy enough for Clarke. She would enjoy it for the moment though before finding something else to occupy her time.

She'd gotten out of the water and found a flat piece of land to lay herself out on. She'd never gotten over what it was like to see the sun like this instead of through tiny windows 12-inches thick on the ark. She'd stared at it for hours when they first landed before stopping in fear of going blind. There was just something about the feeling of the rays on her skin that made her relax.

"I thought I'd find you out here."

Clarke smiled without opening her eyes.

"It's beautiful." Clarke referred to the day.

"Yes, it is." Lexa was referring to Clarke. Clarke opened her eyes and saw the girl standing over her staring at her and not their surroundings.

"Join me?" Clarke requested and reached her hand up.

"I must return. I only came to check on you." Lexa was wearing her make up, which signified she was working on something battle related.

"I'm not going anywhere, Lexa." Clarke tried to ease her worry.

Lexa gripped her sword with one hand and reached for Clarke's with the other to pull her up to stand before her.

"We found the man who put the snake in your bag."

"You did? Who is he?"

"You do not know him. His uncle was killed by the mountain men and his brother died in the fire you ordered."

Clarke remembered that night. They had no choice. The grounders were going to attack and they would have won. Everyone she knew would have died.

"Oh."

"He saw you brought in and when I ordered your bag retrieved, he volunteered."

"Lexa, what are you going to do to him?" Clarke asked.

"He will be dealt with. You have no need to worry." She took a step toward Clarke and grabbed her hand.

"I'm not worried. I just want to know."

"He will be hung in the circle for disobeying my orders."

"Lexa!" Clarke didn't want the man to die. "You can't kill him."

"Yes, I can. I ordered sanctuary for you and he defied that order. He will pay with his life."

"Lock him up, Lexa, but don't kill him." Clarke pleaded and took her hand back from Lexa's grasp.

Lexa put both her hands around Clarke's waist.

"Our ways are strange to you still, but they won't always be. He knew of the consequences when he made his decision, Clarke. He tried to kill you. Blood must have blood."

"There was no blood, Lexa. I'm fine."

"We can have these fights amongst ourselves, but you must not question me in front of my people, Clarke."

"I must not?" Clarke questioned and pulled herself away. "That's not how this is going to be, Lexa. I don't take orders from you."

"I'm not asking you too. I'm asking you not to question the orders I give to my people in front of them. It creates doubt and confusion and I can't have that. Neither can you." Lexa paused. "If they question me, they will question you."

Lexa put her hands back on Clarke's waist. Clarke squinted at her.

"I get it. I won't question you in front of your people, but I won't blindly follow your orders either."

"Thank you. That's all that I ask." Lexa leaned in.

"What's the circle?" Clarke asked.

Lexa pulled back looking disappointed.

"Clarke of the Sky People, you have many questions." She nodded sideways. "It is a place of gathering. Sometimes for celebration and sometimes for punishment."

"We didn't see it on our tour yesterday."

"It is on the other side. We had walked far already on your ankle. I thought it best to save it for another time."

Clarke wasn't buying it.

"Someone was hanged there yesterday?" She asked.

Lexa lowered her head momentarily before raising it again.

"Indra oversaw it while I was with you. He killed one of our warriors for taking his houmon. You would say spouse."

"Taking? Like kidnapping?"

"No, like what you and I did last night." Lexa smiled at her. "People are not treated as property here, but we have a way of marking people as connected. Once you belong to one another, there is no breaking that bond. One of my warriors broke that bond with that man's houmon and he killed him for it. He died because of that."

Lexa sounded disappointed in her tone, but Clarke wasn't sure if it was because of the man or the warrior.

"What's wrong?" Clarke asked her finally returning her touch with a hand to her face.

"I told you it would be different here, but I bring talks of murder and more death."

"Lexa, death is not new to me. Even on the ark, there was death. It would be wrong if we didn't talk about it."

"I must go. I will return as soon as I can."

"Can you just take me with you?"

Lexa seemed unsure.

"We will be discussing the Old Ones. Then, I must attend the hanging."

"I understand." Clarke nodded. "I can't just sit around here and do nothing."

"Come along." Lexa started walking back into the house.

"Wait." Clarke stopped her and Lexa turned back. "Am I…? I mean are we…? Do they know…?" Clarke wasn't sure how to ask if the grounders knew that they were together. Or were they even together? It's not like they've really discussed it.

Lexa laughed lightly and took Clarke by the hand.

"They know nothing of last night. That's not something I would share with anyone. It belongs to us and always will." She pulled Clarke into her. "I believe Indra is aware."

"She saw us yesterday."

"Before that. She knows me well. She's been with me since I was young and told I would be Commander some day. She's been watching me with you since the beginning. She knew how I felt."

"When did you feel it?" Clarke asked, thinking now was the right time to find out when the heartless commander let her heart feel for someone again.

"It wasn't all at once." She started. "It came in parts. When I watched you halt our punishment of Finn, I saw your compassion." She reached for Clarke's face and pulled her into her. "When you saved me from death by the gorilla, I saw your strength." She leaned in and kissed her. "When you backed me against that table, I saw your passion." She kissed her again. "When I added it all up, I saw you. I realized I needed you. I realized I wanted you. I was yours then as I am now." Clarke kissed her back and grabbed the sides of her head with both hands so Lexa couldn't pull away if she tried. They let the kiss end naturally before smiling at one another.

"Come on." Clarke was the one to start pulling Lexa back toward the house. They held hands as they walked down the street, warriors on either side and in front and behind them. People stared and murmured, but there were no outbursts. Lexa's command is clear. They respect her rule even if a few of them get out of line and take steps against me. It was not really because of her. It was because of me.