Chapter 24. Flawed emotions
For a moment she didn't look towards me, staring at the large body of water I was in. I was still trying to think of a being that was humanoid but had the ears and tail of a fox, nothing came to mind. I would of said something but I knew that this place wasn't exactly private so I didn't bother and turned back to my activities. It anything started to go back I still had one of my straps of throwing knives on. I slowly moved farther from the shore and into deeper waters. I was at the point where I couldn't touch the ground under the water so I began to do my best to stay afloat. Not long after getting deeper into the waters I realized the woman had disappeared, perhaps she noticed me a left. At least that was the quick answer my mind came up with while I was preoccupied with learning to swim. Eventually the sun was high above my head and I returned to my clothes and gear on the shore. I quickly changed out of the pair of shorts and threw them away once I was done with them. I started my trek back to the town. This time it took longer then the way there, most likely because I felt the need to rush since I thought I was being followed. The way back was much more quieter I was able to stop a few times and look around only to notice how ineffective the scene was to me. I wasn't sure what was happening to me, maybe I could ask the Living shadow. By the time I reached the town it was dusk, the day had passed rather peacefully compared to recent times. I wasn't sure if I was getting used to all the killing around me or if I just didn't care. One way or another I suppose I'll grow less and less effected by death at this rate. The same large amount of people were still in the streets, more then yesterday in fact. People were putting up stalls and lights across the main street of the town. It looked like it might be a festivity of some sort, I noted it and walked back to the inn. I went to my room being stopped by the owner asking if I'd seen Sona. I told him I last saw her this morning and entered my room. It was untouched, thankfully. I took my key and unlocked the chest with the bag of coins inside. I took the bag and put 20 or so coins into one of my pant pockets. I zipped the pocket closed and locked the bag in the chest again. I only needed enough for my meal for tonight. I was planning on just eating out but since I was alone.
"Hey are you there" I said out loud waiting to see if the Living Shadow responded.
"What do you need" It responded with a groan.
"Do you know why I'm reacting less to and less emotionally, not just to attacks but to scenery as well" I asked.
There was a minute or two of silence before the Living Shadow responded "My powers do come at a cost, I may be forced to obey you but I still take in order to give. Your emotions are the price you pay, you will become less and less emotional until any events that trigger emotion will not effect you physically. It is useful for attacks on the mind since mind control will only control your body, another example would be people that use magic to charm whomever they choose. You body may be effected but your mind will not...". I didn't bother responding, even this would have shocked me but he wasn't lying. This fact itself didn't effect me very much. I could feel my a small amount of me saying that this fact wasn't good but other then that small part of me I didn't care much about it. The only thought that dominated my mind was 'Oh well'. I took a few minutes to think the effects over, if this was going to get worse It thought of the effects it may have on me. I may never get angry at anything but I won't feel happy either. I wont get depressed as much but I won't get energetic ethier. I may never find love or hope or even trust. My emotions were going to fade away until all I could do was think about the effects not react to them. In return I was given the power of a Living Shadow, but was it really worth it? Giving up my emotions for power? I wasn't sure... I sighed and got up and left my room locking the door behind me. I didn't want to think about it, I may not have emotions but stress was still a problem. I started looking around town for a good pub or tavern to dine in and it didn't take to long to find a nice quiet one. There wasn't many people and it wasn't near the busy main street. It was starting to get dark so I walked in to see people sitting at tables and at a bar. I moved to one of the empty tables upstairs near a window pointing to the forest. I waited for someone to take my order by looking out into the forest. The sun casted a large amount of shadows across the forest making it look sinister and dangerous. I could feel a faint rush of fatigue pass through me before I briefly yawned. Then a middle aged woman walked up and took my order. I got a basic meal, nothing to special. I got myself two ham sandwiches and a salad on the side with a cup of mead. I hadn't tried mead before but I knew it messes with your head so in light of the recent events I wanted to try it a bit. However before I could even drink from the glass I was approached by a woman from the corner of my eye. I wasn't sure what she wanted and I was expecting her to walk away from me once she got close enough but she walked straight to my table. She took a seat from another table and placed it across from me and sat in it. I sighed deeply before looking up to see who approached me. I wasn't sure what I was expecting but I wasn't expecting to see the fox eared girl again. Now that I got a closer look at her she sported strange marks on her cheeks as well as cat like eyes, what an unusual person. Her eye stared into mine for a few moment before she finally spoke up.
Her tone was a strange mix between alluring and soft "What's a foreigner such as you doing in a place like this?".
I took a moment to try to figure out what she wanted but couldn't think of one single answer "Why would it matter to you" I asked coldly.
I didn't want her to bother me anymore but she continued "I was just trying to make small talk, I'm sorry if I came as... Agressive". The last part of her sentence was rather suggestive which solidified one of my theories of why she was here.
"If your looking for money I'm not interested" I responded coldly as I returned to my food.
For a moment she looked at me with a little bit of anger, I'm sure any other girl would have hit me in some way and stormed off but not her... for some reason. "I'm not that kind of girl, I just came to talk. People like you usually have the best tales to tell" She responded.
I was starting to get annoyed but I could quickly feel it disappearing just like the Living shadow had said. "I'm not a very social person, if you don't mind I'd prefer to be left alone" I responded.
She looked at me for a moment then spoke "I'm sure a drink would fix that". In those few words alarms in my head went off. I was still unsure of the effects of alcohol on me, for all I know it could make me kill people or make me a blubbering mess. I'd prefer to find out on my own opposed to finding out with a possible prostitute. I shook my head left and right as I chewed and spoke up after I finished my first sandwich "I'm not going to be drinking with you, I have no reason to talk with you". I decided to take the aggressive route since it was most likely to win. To my knowledge most females aren't very aggressive, there are exceptions but most females are not aggressive. She was looking annoyed as he ears made a line with her head. I could tell she was about to give up but then see saw my glass of mead.
"Even if your not planing on drinking with me we could share a single cheer together" She said pointing at the glass. At this point I was getting annoyed, even with the suppression I could still feel my emotions weren't fully dulled yet. I was just about finished when I decided to do my best to just focus as much as I could after the drink. It's just mead it couldn't be that bad. I briefly sighed before spitting the words "Fine" from my mouth. With that she got up and got a glass of her own and held it up in front of her. She sat down and waited for me to pick up my own glass. I took a moment to make a mental checklist before I grabbed the glass. She held it farther in front of her waiting for me to tap my glass with hers. I sighed before doing so and starting drinking from the glass while eyeing her. I could feel the liquid travel through me, It had a feeling that rivaled being to close to a fire. It eventually stopped and I took the mental checklist again. Eyesight? Fine. Mental ability? Uneffected. Movement? Didn't feel off? I wasn't sure if anything had changed. Then I felt a crushing depression slowly wash over me. I wasn't sure what it was for a few moments then I realized what it most likely was. The block on my emotions must be weakened. However I couldn't tell if it was permanente or not.
She finished he glass and I did myself as she let out a slight sigh "Still don't feel like talking".
"It's less of I don't want to talk more of nothing to talk about" I responded.
"Everyone has some story, come on you must have one" She pushed.
I thought of my journey on the way here. The orphanage I grew up in for most of my life. The attack, The arrest and moving in with Caitlyn for a bit, The fighting club, Zaun, The dagger, The bandit camp, Noxus all of it led to this moment here. As the time passed I told her about my journey here but left out anything that would tell her about the Living Shadow. Then just before I was finished I could hear a loud crash on the floor below and a short scream. Then a loud voice "I want any money and valuables in front of me, Now!". Most people started screaming before there was the sound of a gunshot silencing them. "Make a scene and we kill both you and the person closest to you, so don't try to be a hero" I could hear a few people rushing up the stairs to see me the girl a the others on this floor. "I want you all to get downstairs otherwise you can rest in peace" one of the men said cocking a gun. I sighed briefly, I didn't have much money on me so I didn't care about losing it. I followed the mans orders and saw the girl was growling quietly. She clearly wasn't happy about something. I also took note of the mans clothes, they were exactly the same as the men that attacked me this morning. I didn't make any fast moves as everyone on the floor went down the stairs. We were all rounded up and we all stood in a circle. I was one of the few on the outside of the group at first the bandits had every get their things then they just watched us and waited. There was nine of them in total three of them with guns and six of them with swords or daggers. I most likely could get myself out of this but I didn't have any reason to. Then just as me a the girl were told to drop out money into the bag I could hear the sound of someone tripping. More specifically a child over one of the bandits. I could hear a cry of pain from the right of me from a bandit and looked to see a child biting the hand of one of the bandits that had a gun. The bandit hit the child over the head multiple times before he let his grip go. The child flew backwards into a girls arms that blocked the child with her body. "Didn't know you were so eager to die kid, Don't worry the worlds a rough place!" The bandit said as he pointed his gun at the two. "Hurry up and drop the money in the bag" The bandit in front of me yelled. The child behind the woman's body started crying as did the woman. The two of them waited to be killed, normally I would just turn away since the Living Shadow dulled my emotions. Normally the bandit would have shot the two and I would have dropped the money into the bag and waited to be released from the bandits. Normally I would just go back to my room at the inn and refill my pockets. Normally... I wouldn't have my emotions sharpened by alcohol. So this wasn't normally... this was now. That thought passed through my head as I punched the bandit in front of me in the face drew my sword and cut the man pointing the guns hand clean off. Normally I wouldn't play hero.