I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT … WISH I DID SOMETIMES … I COULD REALLY USE A DOLLAR OR TWO!

A/N ~ Hi guys it's me again! Sorry it took a few days longer than necessary to do an update. Life gets in the way blah, blah, blah. I usually update when the husband is work. He works perm night shifts on a rotating 4 on 4 off roster so when I update I update when he is work. I guess someone has to keep the planes in the sky. Once again, I'd love to thank all of you who were kind enough to leave reviews! I know I am a lazy ass and never reply but I always check my reviews on my mobile. Don't think I am ignoring your reviews, I'm NOT! Anyway as usual; THIS STORY IS UN BETA'D SO ALL FUCK UPS ARE MY FUCK UPS AND I APOLIGISE IN ADAVNCE! Enjoy the chapter as I am sure it's going to kick my ass! Also a big thankyou to IDREAMOFEDDIE for bringing us Peter, 'knows', shit'.

BELLA

I hope that what Jasper didn't tell me was a dream. When I woke up upon the kitchen floor I was utterly embarrassed. I shouldn't pass out at something major as being told I am someone's mate. When I came to I think I banged my head pretty hard on my tiled floor. My head HURT!

"You ok babe?" poor Jasper was so concerned; I was sitting in his lap while he was checking me over for injuries.

"Yeah! I think I am fine; just a bruised ego and a sore noggin." I exclaimed, while rubbing the back of my head. Jasper laughed at this, so I laughed along as it was pretty funny. "So we are mates, and since Phoenix! Wow so Emoward was never my mate; strange." To be honest I cannot for the life of me remember Jasper lifting me out of the car in Phoenix but I did feel the small jolt of electricity.

"Yeah darlin', I figured it out in Phoenix. After I felt that jolt, I can remember you feeling shock when I picked you up. Also after that, I never felt attracted to Alice; I felt a pull to be with you, but you were with my Ass wipe of a brother and you were pretty much 'forbidden fruit". I wanted to be with you so badly." Wow, this was so much to take in all at once.

"So at my birthday, when you 'tried' to get me what was the story with that?" I had to ask I was curious to know what happened there. If I get some answers, I sure I can unveil some of my secrets to Jasper.

"Uh, I when you sliced your finger with the paper, your blood didn't bother me at all. Even that day, at the ballet studio, when James banged you up pretty badly. My animalistic side needed to protect you with all I had. I was trying so hard to rein it in to protect you and the family so no one would get hurt; long story short, I felt Edward's emotions of pure passiveness, and my guess it was for your blood. I'm sorry that he hurt you that night."

I had to stop Jasper there. "Jasper, STOP! I called out to you that night that it wasn't your fault and that I was sorry that I bled." This is so getting too much for me to take. I really need to get some answers. "What was Alice" I sneered her name as it left a bitter taste on my tongue "feeling that night? I have a pretty good feeling that she knew that we were mates, and that the whole thing was planned, and me being Edward's singer and all, I think she planned for me to die or get seriously hurt that night."

Jasper stared off into space for a small while then snapped back to reality before I did something drastic to gain his attention back. "To be honest Bella" he started then rubbed at the back of his neck, "she was feeling pretty smug about things." My jaw dropped to the floor. Wow fuck shit ass bitch. Fucking Pixie is going to DIE!

I think Jasper was catching onto my pissed off feelings and sent me some soothing calm mojo. Ah that feels better; I am getting high on the Jasper bong of emotions.

"Jasper, I can't believe that evil little pixie midget did this to us! I am seriously not fucking happy that she fucked with our lives like that!" I was still seriously fucked off but Jasper kept sending me the soothing mojo.

"Me neither, Darlin'. Me neither. "

"So how does this mate stuff work anyhow, Jasper?" I was curious to find out.

"Well, I am guessing that you have accepted that we are mates; and have been for some time?" he asked me.

I looked directly into Jasper's eyes and smirked at him "I totally accept being yours forever, Jasper." Then I leant forwards and kissed him on the lips. I could hear Fuckward's fucked up voice in the back of my head; love this is dangerous, you cannot kiss him, he is blood thirsty, he just wants to drain you dry. I internally laughed at his deranged voice. LOVE fuck off he never loved me. AT ALL. I knew that I could and would love Jasper with everything I had. And I knew he would love me just as deeply and I knew that Jasper would never, ever leave me behind!

Jasper kissed me back deeply with so much passion. I moaned in response to him deepening the kiss. I licked his lips looking for access into his beautiful mouth. I knew he had razor sharp teeth so I knew I had to be mindful of those. Wow fuck me access granted! I'm in! And he tastes fucking DEVINE! I could just kiss him all day and never grow tired of doing this. I pulled away and smiled at Jasper. "Wow, I never knew a kiss could be that intense, Jas! You have talent!"

I got up from his lap as I was starting to cramp I'm my fucked up knee. As I stood I looked around and seen my piles of ironed washing! Wow! I just love Jasper more and fucking more! I didn't know if would actually do my washing. I was just fucking with him to see if he would actually do it. Jasper stood up with me. I turned at wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again on the lips. "Thank you so, so much for doing the boring stuff for me." He tipped his pretend hat and drawled in his sexy southern drawl "your welcome ma'am." Fuck me I almost creamed my undies. I had to walk away.

I grabbed my clutch from last night that was sitting on the coffee table and got my smokes from out of it. I needed air too; badly.

When I walked out side to my entertainment area took a sit and lit up. I also checked my messages. There was another message from the strange number from last night.

Sender: Unknown

Hi Captain Iz, this is Captain Peter! Just to let you know I enjoyed meeting you last night! Also I am not a retard!

I had to fucking laugh at Peter. I called Jasper out. I was pissed. "Peter better not be a seer like your ex-wife! I am so not happy if he seen our conversations."

"Calm down, Darlin'. Peter just knows shit ok. He is NOT a seer; Alice seen outcomes based on decisions made, Peter just sees the final result in a way. It's kind of hard to explain ok." Wow Peter is special. I had to laugh internally at my stupidity and my mini freak out.

I continued sucking down my cigarette and quickly typed a reply to my new friend.

To: P. Whitlock

I am off duty for the next 10 months, so iz will do. As I'm sure that you happen to know 'shit' you can call me BELLA! Anyway I'm sure you 'know' this too! But bring you and your lovely wife round when the sun goes down!

IZ xx

I finished my smoke and I knew Jasper was hiding out inside somewhere so the neighbours wouldn't see the oversized disco ball in my house. I stubbed out my butt and walked inside, looking for Jasper. He was in my home theatre room watching an old movie that was showing on the TMC channel. It was dark in there; no windows so a perfect place for him to hide for the day.

I went into my room and made my bed. Put all my laundry away in the appropriate places. I pulled out the vacuum and did the floors. I also mopped the floors while I was at it, as I am sure it hadn't been done since I was home last. Just as I was finishing up, Jasper emerged from the movie room.

"I can get over how graceful you are now, what did they do to you at recruitment camp?"

Yeah I felt like a fucking dick when I couldn't walk properly back in the day when I moved back to Forks to live my father. That time from when I arrived to the time I departed Forks were the hardest and most embarrassing of my life. I had no self-worth, and low self-esteem. I was in a pretty bad space; emotionally.

"It's a really, really long story why I can walk now, without falling over every darn thing; and its not a happy story." I almost felt like crying, but I knew that I had to remember and re tell what happened all those years ago; pretty much re live the nightmare that still haunts me some nights.

"I can feel your sadness, Bella. Just breathe sweetheart, I'm here" and he picked me up and took me into the movie room and sat me on his lap, "and I want to hear your story."

I cleared my throat and started. "I had just turned 17. Phil brought me a R8 Spyder, for my birthday. My boyfriend Dean and I took it for a spin one night. He was driving, and at the time I didn't know he had been drinking." I took another deep breath and continued on. "You saw the photo that was next to my best last night?" Jasper nodded his head. "That is, was Brandon; Dean crashed the car that night. I was messed up that night, but not bad enough to harm Brandon, as I was pregnant at the time." I took a shuddering breath. "Dean turned to look at me and missed a fucking turn Jasper!" I cried out "a fucking curve on the road; When Dean realised what was happening he hit the brakes hard and the driver's side of the car hit a fucking tree and killed him on impact." I put my head in my hands.

"I had a minor back injury but I broke a slither off bone off the ball in my hip. And I also dislocated my legs at the hips. I was in hospital until it was time to give birth; I only had 3 months left to go. I was monitored every single day to make sure Brandon was safe and out of danger as I was healing. I was in constant pain as they couldn't give me much pain medication. When I had 5 weeks left of my pregnancy left, they couldn't detect Brandon's heartbeat. I was induced that night and gave birth to my dead son, Jasper!"

I lost it at that point and I got up and fled the dark room. I grabbed a bottle of tequila from my bar and my smokes off the kitchen bench and went outside. I have no idea how long I was out there for, but I looked and I had drunk almost half the bottle of tequila. And almost a full pack of cigs. "Fucking fuck" I shouted. I got back up and went inside to the movie room, and sat back on Jasper's lap.

"I hate myself every fucking day, Jasper." I continued on. "My legs dislocated themselves again and my pelvis ended up with a hairline fracture. Charlie flew down to Arizona to be with me the whole time from the accident. The Hospital couldn't get hold of Renee; she was god knows where with fucking Phil." I sobbed harder. "I was so fucking pissed at my own fucking mother. She turned up a week after Brandon was born. Charlie organised a small funeral for Brandon. I ended up having him cremated, because as soon as I was discharged from hospital I wanted to go live with my Father, and I wanted to take Brandon with me."

"So yeah due to the accident I fucked my pelvis and hips. When I graduated high school I ended up doing intense physical therapy to regain my balance and grace, as you call it. And so here I am today." Jasper looked absolutely stunned; I couldn't blame him, it was a pretty fucked up story.

Jasper just held me tight and rubbed soothing circles up and down my back. I knew he wouldn't send me and calming emotions, as he knew that I had to deal with my grief on my own. It's not something you could erase and be gone forever. I held tight to Jasper too, not wanting to let him go. Jasper cleared his throat "How long were you and Dean together for, Darlin'?" I sat up straighter and scratched the back of my head. "We were together since I was 15. He was 19 when he died." Jasper nodded his head in acknowledgement.

I knew I needed to move onto some happier topics so I asked Jasper what he had been up to since I had last seen him. I knew he fed from people now, so I knew he changed his diet, which was about it. "So what have you been doing in the last 8 years Jas, since we last seen each other?" Jasper chuckled, "not much, nothing as exciting as what you have been up to my lovely." His voice! My god, it's like SEX.

My stomach rumbled, and I knew I was hungry, I knew I didn't have any food in the house so I called in for Chinese. I was still buzzed a bit from last night and that half bottle of tequila I drank down earlier was starting to kick my ass plus it was getting late. I looked at my watch and yep it was half 5pm. My food arrived at 6:10. I dug in eating like a starving person who hadn't seen food in months. Well in my case, I hadn't eaten take away in so fucking long, and this was so good, I moaned when the flavours exploded upon my tongue.

At around 7 my doorbell rang. It could only be a few people. It was, Sophie and her cousin Mia, checking up on me or Peter the 'tard' and his lovely wife Char. I quickly ran down the hall to the front door and unlocked the dead bolt and ripped the door open.

"Hey Captain Iz, ya miss me Darlin'?" It was Peter and Char. Charlotte leaned in and kissed me on the cheek and passed me an expensive bottle of wine and a love bunch of flowers. "You'll have to excuse this one", she motioned her head towards her husband "he has no manners" and walked into the house after I invited them in.

A/N 2 ~ there you go people, we found out who Brandon is. This chapter pretty much did write itself again! I am getting there. I hope it made sense! Also Peter and Charlotte have arrived! Wonder what fuckery they are going to bring upon Jasper and Bella. I think Peter is going to be the worst in causing fuckery and Charlotte reprimands him a lot to keep his ass in line. Till next time; leave me some love! xx