Neville Longbottom x Pikachu
Neville sat in his dorm room in Hogwarts, crying sadly that Harry and Ron had been laughing at his last name for quite some time, even though it had been four years, and they had also called his grandmother a "fat whore". He cried softly into the couch-pillow in his room, and questioned why his godforsaken life had ended up this way.
There was a sudden knock at his door, and Neville almost screamed in shock (like that weird thing Chloe does) and completely fell off the sofa. He assumed that it was probably Harry and Ron ready to bully and rape him again, so he was very reluctant to open the door. However, the knocks became louder and more persistent, so Neville quickly rushed over and opened it – only to find a strange yellow creature with a freakishly large tail dash in from outside.
Strange, thought Neville, this doesn't look like any creature I've ever seen before... though I am in Hogwarts, and this place is filled with some fucked up shit.
The creature announced its name as Pikachu in a cute squeaky voice, and jumped up onto the sofa to cuddle up to the pillow that Neville was previously crying into. Neville was very stunned at the yellow creature, and moved with caution to sit next to it.
"Why are you here, little Pikachu?" asked Neville, smiling politely, trying not to show his inner feelings of strange affection towards the unbeknownst to him, pokemon.
With the sudden voice of Morgan Freeman and Danny DeVito's mixed together came out of the pokemon's mouth, Neville almost fell off of the sofa again:
"I'm here to rupture your anus and make you feel good about yourself again, Neville. Don't let that ginger prick and little miss no-parents make you feel bad, youngling."
The tired and absolutely helpless Penguin scoured the halls of the enchanted school of witchcraft and wizadry, for one damned bed to sleep in for the night until he could go back to his mother's apartment building without being traumatised for life. Oswald found, however, an open dorm room in one of the halls (with those bitchy stairs) and decided that if anyone WAS inside, he would ask where a spare room was, so he could sleep in peace. But of course, no one can let that happen, and we must torture our dear penguin further, as he opened the door to find...
Oswald cried.