Chapter 13:
The hospital was on the outskirts of the city so they didn't pass much on their way in. A few homes that had the lights on inside and some businesses that were obviously closed, but not much else. They were driven through the hospital bay where Raven was unloaded and taken into a room to be worked on. Clarke and Lexa couldn't help but stare at the people they walked past. Each one appeared to be going about their business and paid no attention to them.
Dr. Harker turned out to be about Abby's age and he rushed to Raven's side. Clarke and Lexa listened to the conversation between the two doctors before the door was closed in front of them.
"Let them work on your friend." Carolina said. "We've got a place you two can get some rest. You've had a long day."
"I'm not leaving." Clarke stated.
"Clarke, we should rest. Raven is in good hands." Lexa offered and took Clarke's hand.
"I'll stay with her." Wick stated. He motioned to his back and met eyes with Clarke. She understood that to mean he'd brought a gun and had stuffed it between his pants and shirt just in case they needed to use it. Clarke nodded.
"If something happens though-"
"You'll be the first to know." Carolina said.
"We will go." Lexa looked at the guard who stood fast.
"I'll have York show you to your house. I must be going. I have some business to attend to. I will check in on you tomorrow." She looked in the direction of the room. "Your friend is in good hands." She walked off.
"Come on. I'll take you." York started walking. "We have a house setup for you and one setup for the other two. Right next door. Tomorrow, I can take you on a tour of the city if you'd like. I'm sure Carolina would like to show you around herself if she has the time."
Clarke was so exhausted she couldn't even think about walking around a big city. It was then that she remembered they wouldn't have to walk at all. She smiled at the thought of driving around and taking in the sights of this place. She held Lexa's hand after climbing back in the car and all the way to the home only a few blocks from the hospital that had been setup for them.
When they got out of the car, their eyes went immediately to the house in front of them. The lawn was manicured. There was even a basketball Clarke had seen in games on TV on the ark sitting near the driveway where there was another old car parked. It looked like the driver's side door had been taken off another car and placed on that one. There was a light on the porch and a number on the front door. 1434. An address, Clarke thought. The house looked small, but huge compared to the space her entire family had occupied on the ark and her bunk since she'd been on earth. It was smaller than Lexa's place, but Clarke guessed Lexa wouldn't mind. She'd slept in worse and they wouldn't be here long.
"This place belongs to you." York said and tossed something in their direction. Clarke caught it. "Those are the keys."
"Who lives here?" Clarke asked.
"No one. Like I said, it belongs to you."
"We're not staying. We're just here for Raven." Clarke replied.
"For tonight or forever, it's yours. We told you we could help. We have available houses just waiting for people to occupy them." He removed their packs from the back of the car.
"What's the catch?" Clarke asked.
"That's what everybody asks at first. There is no catch. You just pull your own weight. Get a job, participate in the community. Don't cause any trouble. That's about it." He closed the trunk of the car. "There's electricity and running water inside. You don't even need a generator. We have a plant." He stated and Clarke thought back to the mountain men. "Carolina figured you two would want your own space so the others are in 1436." He pointed at the house next door. "I'll make sure they get setup when they're done at the hospital, but here are their keys for him." He motioned toward the guard.
"Thank you?" Clarke wasn't sure if she should be thanking him yet.
"Sure. Do you guys need anything else?"
"We're fine." Lexa said.
"Good night then. I'll come for you in the morning. Oh and if you're hungry, there's food in the kitchen." He climbed in the car and sped off.
"You ready?" Clarke asked as they both grabbed their packs.
"I guess."
They walked to the door and Clarke unlocked it. Lexa ordered the guard to take his leave for the rest of the night and go next door. That made Clarke feel like she was at least willing to trust this place enough to sleep without guards outside the door. Clarke was expecting an old musty smell when she walked in, but instead it smelled clean. There was a living room to the left that looked open to a dining room. Both spaces were furnished. There was even a television. Clarke saw a note on the table. She picked it up and read it out loud.
"No, we don't have our own TV shows here. At least not yet. We do, however have movies you can rent from a store. The TV and DVD player both work and will play them." She looked at Lexa. "You've never seen a movie, have you?" Lexa shook her head like Clarke was crazy.
"How would I have seen a movie, Clarke?"
Clarke laughed and then finished reading the note to herself before looking under the TV to the shelf that was there.
"They left us a few movies to get started with if we want."
She walked over to the shelf and pulled them off to look at them.
"I'm going to go look around. Check the perimeter." Lexa said.
"Lexa, you don't have to do that here. We can just… God, we can just relax."
"I'll check the perimeter and meet you back here." She was determined and walked outside.
Clarke looked around the kitchen and turned the light on to reveal hanging lights over a counter island. There were cookies on it. They looked and smelled fresh. She hadn't had cookies in years. She thought about waiting for Lexa, but she couldn't. She grabbed one off the plate and just as she was about to bite into it, Lexa entered.
"Clarke, don't!" She shouted and ran to knock the cookie out of her mouth. "We don't know if we can trust them yet. You can't eat anything."
"We have to eat, Lexa."
"We can hunt tomorrow."
Clarke smiled at her.
"There's no hunting here or if there is, we don't need to do it. I'm starving Lexa. Just let me eat the damn cookie."
"I will have Temple eat one first." Temple was the guard. "If he survives…"
"I'm not letting him be my taste tester."
"It is customary for all Commanders to have tasters."
"I'm not a commander, Lexa."
"The moment you accepted that chair in the meeting, you became the Commander of the Skaikru, Clarke."
Clarke picked up another cookie and took a bite before Lexa could stop her. Lexa looked at her dumbfounded.
"Guess I don't need Temple now." She held out a cookie for Lexa to take. "This is amazing." She savored the bite. "If I make it through the night, you eat this one." She joked about Lexa's seriousness.
"You don't just make those decisions for yourself now."
"I know. My people…"
"Me, Clarke." She stated and took the other cookie from Clarke's hand and slammed it on the counter. "You said you couldn't picture your life without me. What makes you think I can picture mine without you?" She walked off and Clarke was left with the realization that Lexa was right. The risks you take when you're on your own are one thing, but when you're with someone… when you love someone, they become part of the equation and Clarke had failed to consider that. She left the cookie and the kitchen and walked down a hallway past the bedroom with its still closed door and toward the bathroom where Lexa stood looking inside.
Clarke came up behind her and reached for the light switch to illuminate the room beyond just the light from the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around Lexa's body and rested her head on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry." Clarke apologized. "Ai sonraun laik yu sonraun." My life is your life.
Lexa turned in her arms.
"And mine belongs to you."
"Lexa, we take risks all the time. This, being here is a risk." She motioned to the house referring to the city. "I can't promise you I'll never take another risk."
"I just need you not to take foolish ones. I will promise you the same."
"I can do that." Clarke agreed. She looked past Lexa toward the shower. "Do you think it works?" She asked.
Lexa turned.
"I don't know."
"Let's try it out."
"We should sleep."
"Lexa, I'm disgusting and you've had that make-up on all day. Shower. Sleep. In that order."
She walked into the bathroom and reached for the handle, turning it not knowing if anything would actually happen. Rushing water came from the spout. Clarke lifted the handle and the shower started spurting out water until it became an even current. Lexa looked closer and from under the shower head as if trying to figure out how it worked. Clarke smiled at her before taking off her shirt. She tossed it on the floor and then reached for Lexa's. She pulled it off while the other girl was still staring at the showerhead. She reached around Lexa's waist and started undoing her pants to pull them down. Lexa finally snapped out of it and helped remove them before turning to remove Clarke's. Clarke tested the water and it was hot. She hadn't had a real hot shower since the ark. The camp had them occasionally, but only for about 30 seconds or so before cold water started up again. The engineering team was working on fixing it, but Clarke didn't care about that at all in this moment. She climbed into the tub and allowed the hot water to rush over her body. It warmed her to the core as she ran her hands through her hair to allow it to soak through. Lexa was still standing off to the side as if waiting for an invitation. Clarke looked at her and then pulled her inside.
"I've never taken a shower with another before."
"Neither have I." Clarke told her. "Let's just enjoy it. Here." She shifted Lexa so she could be under the hot water and watched as the girl felt it running down her body. She ran her hands through her hair and lifted her head back so the water would run down her face, washing the harsh black make up down her neck, chest and then stomach until it finished running down her legs and beyond down the drain. Clarke reached for the soap that was sitting on a small shelf. She saw that next to the soap were two small bottles. "Oh my God, they have shampoo and conditioner."
"What?" Lexa exclaimed opening her eyes.
"For your hair. I haven't seen this stuff in years. Since I was a kid. We ran out on the ark along time ago. We barely had enough ingredients to make soap and toothpaste near the end." She opened the shampoo bottle and smelled its perfumed fragrance before squeezing a little in her hand. "Turn around."
Lexa did as requested and Clarke washed her hair. She lathered up the bar of soap and washed her body as well allowing the water to run freely without worrying about it running out or turning cold before Lexa returned the favor and cleaned her hair and ran the soap over her body. When they were finally clean and the soap was back on the shelf, Lexa pulled Clarke into her and their wet bodies met. They embraced for a moment under the water before Clarke pulled back and then leaned in for a kiss. It didn't take long for it to get heated. Lexa's eyes looked like she was going into battle, but excited about it as Clarke turned off the water and pulled her out of the shower to walk down the hall to the bedroom. She clumsily reached for the doorknob to open it as Lexa continued to kiss her and reach for her everywhere. Lexa practically pushed her on the bed and climbed on top of her. She was inside her within seconds, pushing and pulling while Clarke writhed beneath her. Clarke felt Lexa move down her body and then her tongue pressed against her. It didn't take long before she came inside and out and felt a release of tension she'd never experienced before. Lexa climbed back on top of her and kissed her deeply. She reached her hands between Clarke's legs and went to work again apparently not sated from Clarke's previous moaning and screaming in pleasure that was loud enough for the grounder next door to hear. Clarke came again and then didn't wait for Lexa to try something else. She flipped them quickly and smiled at the girl whose smirk Clarke loved. She moved her hips down into Lexa's and Lexa's hands moved to help her along. She increased her speed and with that, watched Lexa's wide eyes close. She was headed in the right direction. She reached her hand between Lexa's legs and touched her gently. The girl jumped slightly and Clarke realized she wanted more. There was something she hadn't done to Lexa yet and she was ready to now so she stopped her hand and hips causing Lexa's eyes to shoot back open in disappointment. Clarke just slid down her body kissing her along the way and spread her legs further apart. When her mouth made contact, Lexa's body twitched and she let out an audible sigh. Clarke kept working her tongue up and down how she'd felt Lexa do to her moments earlier. She hoped Lexa liked it as much as she did. She appeared to be enjoying it as her hips lifted off the bed and Clarke had to hold her in place. She listened as the girl came and then slid her fingers inside to make her do that all over again. A few minutes later, they were wrapped in each other on a bed that didn't belong to them.
"We should go back to the hospital." Clarke said into the air.
"Now?"
"I feel like I should be there. I have no idea what's going on and she's the whole reason we're here."
"York left us a radio. Maybe we can use it to call the hospital."
"I'd rather go."
"Clarke, we'd have to walk. It's dark and we're in a place we are not familiar with."
"Maybe we can figure out how to drive the car. The keys were in the kitchen."
"They only use those sparingly, remember? Fuel shortage."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Sleep now. When the sun rises, if York has not returned, we will walk to Raven."
Clarke closed her eyes and fell asleep.
When the sun rose, York was not yet at the house so Clarke and Lexa set out on foot toward the hospital. Lexa instructor Temple to remain at the house. She didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention to them. The houses, they discovered in the daylight, all looked the same. A few people were out already, but not many as it as early. They appeared to be going about their business as usual as Clarke and Lexa walked down the middle of a cracked street. It didn't take long for them to arrive at the hospital. It wasn't bustling, but people were working and patients were heading in and out of rooms and being tended too. They walked back to the room Raven had been taken to the night before. When Lexa spoke with Temple about remaining at the house, he'd told her Abby and Wick had never arrived. Clarke knew why when they entered the room and found Wick asleep on the floor and Abby sitting in a chair next to Raven.
"Mom?"
Abby turned. She looked exhausted.
"Clarke?"
"How is she?"
"She's doing well."
"Really?"
"We had to operate again, but we were able to stop the internal bleeding and they had blood here to give her. Her color's back and she's responding well to the treatment."
Clarke looked over and took Raven's hand. Lexa stood next to her.
"She's strong." Lexa stated and took Clarke's hand. "To have made it this far, she is strong."
Abby looked at Lexa.
"Clarke tells me you had a hand in us bringing her here."
"Clarke can be very persuasive."
Clarke smiled at Lexa and then looked back at Raven. Abby was looking at both of them.
"I can see it now." Abby said.
"See what?" Clarke asked her.
"You two… together."
Clarke looked at her confused.
"Mom?"
"You're good for each other, aren't you?" Abby questioned.
"Yes, we are." Lexa stated confidently.
"I may be extremely tired and not thinking straight, but I can see it."
Clarke smiled at the idea that her mother might actually be able to understand the two of them together. One less obstacle to deal with.
Raven started to stir.
"She's waking up." Clarke said. Abby stood and looked down at Raven.
"Raven?"
The eyes of a battered girl started to open slowly. She had a breathing tube down her throat so she wouldn't be able to talk. When she came to fully and realized it, she got scared and started flailing.
"It's okay. Raven, it's okay." Clarke assured her. "You're safe. We're here."
"Raven, you have a tube down your throat to help you breathe." Abby explained. "We can take it out, but I need to check your vitals first, okay?"
Raven was still shaken, but she nodded yes.
"Why don't you two girls get out of here for now? Let me examine her?"
"Raven?" Wick had woken in the commotion.
"She's awake Wick." Abby told him.
"Hey, there." He smiled at her. "I think you've slept enough, don't you?"
She couldn't smile with the tube in her mouth, but her eyes were smiling.
"Wick, why don't you go with the girls?" Abby asked.
"She just woke up."
"I need to examine her."
"We'll just be outside." Clarke stated and pulled Wick's jacket sleeve. The three of them walked to the lobby and sat in uncomfortable chairs that looked like they'd been there since before the bombs. They sat in those chairs for over an hour before Wick finally said something.
"So, you two are like… I mean obviously you're…"
Clarke and Lexa just stared at him.
"Yeah? What are we?" Clarke mocked.
"It's just… with what happened… I wouldn't have guessed you'd get so… close. Raven's in that bed because of her decision." He didn't sound upset. More curious. More tired than anything.
"That's not true." Clarke rebutted. "We don't know what would have happened had the grounders stayed. Maybe it would have been worse for Raven. Maybe she would have gotten killed. Maybe you would have too, Wick or me even."
Lexa took her hand.
"I am sorry about Raven, Wick." Lexa expressed.
He shook his head for a moment.
"You were right in there. She's strong. She's going to pull through."
"She will." Clarke agreed.
"And you two are together now?"
"We are." Clarke answered.
"Well, I'm not one to judge or question other people's…people. Just uh… take care of each other or something." He was exhausted.
"We will." Clarke rested her head on Lexa's shoulder.
Abby walked down the hall and ran her hand through her greasy hair.
"She's okay." She started. "We took out the tube. She's going to have a sore throat for a day or two."
"And?" Wick asked.
"I'm still waiting on some test results, but she's stable. In a couple of hours I'll know more, but I think she's finally out of the woods."
Clarke let out a sigh of relief.
"Can we see her now?"
"Dr. Harker is in with her now. I asked him for a second opinion. She's been given a sedative so she'll be out for a while. It's better if everyone just gets some sleep."
"You included, mom."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." She sat in one of the chairs. "Where do we sleep around here?"
"Let me see if I can get us a ride. I don't think you want to walk it." Clarke offered and stood.
She returned with an ambulance driver who agreed to drive the four of them the few blocks to the houses and within about 10 minutes, her mom was showering while Wick conked out on the sofa before he could even make it to the other bedroom. Temple agreed to watch over both of them since he'd been able to get some sleep while they were at the hospital.
York pulled up just as they were about to walk into 1434 and try to figure out their next move.
"Hey you two, you ready for that tour?"
They climbed into his car, both in the back seat.
"Where's Carolina?" Clarke asked.
"Doing presidential things, I guess. You're stuck with me today. I thought we'd start at the north side of our little hamlet. The school's first on the list of sights to see."
He drove them for several minutes. They both looked out their windows at what looked like a thriving city. They drove through the main drag, which was more than just a drag. It had buildings 50 stories high that appeared to have damage at the top stories, but nothing really near the bottom and people were going in and out, presumably to and from work. There were tables outside of buildings with people gathering, eating and drinking. People were smiling and laughing. No one was screaming. No one was bleeding or dying or declaring war on another clan. There were kids at the school playground, running around and having fun instead of burying their parents or worrying about where their next meal might come from.
"How does this all work?" Clarke asked.
"What?" He asked back.
"The government. Carolina is president, but how does the rest of it work?"
"Oh that. We have representatives. We have judges and a few lawyers and all that. We have a police department. The hospital is run by and cared for by the city. They are all city employees."
"How do you become a representative?" Clarke asked. Lexa appeared to be enamored by the on goings outside.
"Why? You interested in politics?" He laughed a little.
"She can be very diplomatic." Lexa stated while still looking out the window.
Clarke looked over at her and wasn't sure what to make of that comment.
"Not me specifically. Just if we go back and talk to the other leaders, they're going to want a role. You guys can't expect people who have commanded armies and entire clans to just suddenly become farmers or construction workers."
"They can be apart of the election process if they choose, but no one is just given a leadership position here." He elaborated. "They just have to add their name to a ballot."
"Our leaders are not chosen that way. They are not voted upon. They are born of the previous Commander."
"We understand things here will be different for you. It will be hard to acclimate at first, but I am sure you'll get used to it."
"There is no-" Lexa was getting upset.
"I think what Lexa is saying is that this part of their culture is non-negotiable." Clarke interjected. Lexa looked at her and nodded for her to continue. "They've done things this way since the beginning, York. Their leaders are reincarnated. That is engrained in them. If the clans were to come here to live and you told them their leaders were no longer in charge and that the way they've been doing things all this time is wrong, it would negate too much of their history."
"I understand. Most of the groups we bring in don't have strong beliefs like that, but that's not a decision I can make. That would be up to Carolina to present to the representatives. If they all agreed that your leaders would have a place and that place would be for life to respect your ways, there'd be no need for a vote."
"Understood." Clarke said. She knew that with the 12 clans, there would be no changing their minds on this issue. She could talk about less hardship, no war all she wanted, but if this place took away their fundamental belief of how their commanders are chosen, they'd all tell her no.
They passed the city center where they were welcomed by the president to a lunch in her office. The space was bigger than most of the bunks on the ark. It had an old-fashioned desk and long, thick blue curtains that hung on the windows. There was a small table off to the side where they sat and enjoyed a hot meal of beef and potatoes.
"How have you liked things so far?" Carolina asked. "I heard your friend is recovering."
"Yes, she's getting better."
"Dr. Harker said a few more days here and she'll be good as new."
"That's the plan." Clarke replied.
"What's your plan after that?" Carolina persisted.
"I don't have one." Clarke told her. "I just want Raven to get well. I'll worry about the rest later."
"And what about you?" She asked Lexa and took a drink of her water.
"I will bring all that I have seen to the Commanders of the other clans. If they determine a vote is needed, we will have one to decide whether the coalition will proceed with plans to relocate our people."
Clarke looked at her. She was unaware Lexa was this many steps ahead of her, but what she said sounded good.
"And what of your people?"
"What do you mean?" Lexa asked her.
"Well, if you only tell your commanders and those commanders decide against coming here, you're people will never know they had the option."
"They trust in those who lead them."
"I'm sure they do, but wouldn't it be better to involve all of them? Let each member of your population decide whether or not to join us here?"
"That is not how we do things."
"I understand." Carolina obliged. "It was just a thought." She looked at Clarke. "And how do your people do things, Clarke?"
"We don't have a defined structure at the moment. We used to, but we're still a work in progress."
"Clarke is the leader of her people. She has joined her people with the 12 clans. We are now 13 strong. She will be a part of the vote when we return after Raven is able."
"I see." Carolina said.
Clarke wondered why she just didn't say it that way. She guessed because it was easier to pull herself out of that picture of her people, but also because she was still so unsure that if she went back to Camp Jaha and told them she'd joined them in the alliance and she was their representative, what they might say. They might all support her as the hero of the mountain, but they also called Lexa the traitor and those 12 clans were just following her orders when she fled with the grounder survivors. She decided not to add to Lexa's statement. She didn't want to contradict her. She wanted them to appear as a united pair.
"We can sort through the details of how things would work later. No point in talking about it now if the others don't agree." Clarke stated.
"Well, what has York shown you so far?"
"We've done the north side and the west side so far." York explained. He'd been mostly silent since sitting down to eat.
"So you saw our school then?"
"Yes." Clarke answered.
"Good. Those children are our future. It's important we care for them." Carolina stated opinion as fact. It seemed a little out of place for a comment like that, but Clarke didn't know what to make of it so she just left it there.
They wrapped their lunch and the president sent them on their way to continue their tour. Clarke wanted to stop by the house to check on her mom and Wick and also the hospital to check on Raven, but York said it made more sense to finish the tour and end up back on the south side of the town instead of trying to go back and forth. Clarke used a radio he provided though and found out from Wick that her mother was sleeping soundly and he'd walked back to the hospital to check on Raven once already and was heading back with her mom in a couple of hours.
"Just do what you need to do, Clarke. We've got Raven." He'd told her. He seemed to understand that while the reason they hurried here was for Raven's care, there was more too it than just that and that she and Lexa were also here on a fact finding mission. "Maybe this can be our new home, Clarke." He'd said to her while York was talking to Lexa inside the car. Clarke climbed in the car and handed York the radio.
"We're good." She told him and he started driving again, playing at being the tour guide. He announced standard streets with houses on them excitedly as if something amazing happened there a long time ago. Clarke wasn't really paying attention and clearly neither was Lexa, who'd been uncharacteristically silent for much of the drive.
They finished their tour of the main part of the city by early evening and York dropped them back at the hospital so they could check in on Raven and then they'd all walk back to their houses together and also alone. No York, No Carolina. Just people Clarke could trust talking about the city and what they thought about it. She was particularly interested in hearing her mother's thoughts on if she felt the people from the ark would want to live here.
"She should be ready for transport tomorrow." Abby shared with the group about Raven. "She'll still have to be in medical for a few more days at least, but if we're ready to go, she'll be ready to go tomorrow."
"You think it's safe to fly her back so soon?" Wick asked.
"Dr. Harker is going to give me enough meds to get her through and he's offered to have her brought back if she takes a turn. She's good though."
"What do you think about this place, mom?" Clarke asked not sure what to expect.
"Well, it's definitely a step above where we're living now. The medical facilities and supplies alone would warrant me wanting to come here."
"Besides that though?" Clarke continued.
"Hot showers, food in a kitchen with stoves that actually work and schools for the kids." She paused. "If you're asking me if I'd want to live here, the answer is yes, but there's more to it than that."
"I know."
"They will want us to conform to their ways." Lexa said. "We cannot do that."
"We'll work that part out if we decide to stay." Clarke offered her.
Later that night, there was a dinner hosted in their honor at the president's house, which was only slightly larger than the homes the group had been occupying. Abby and Carolina spoke at length while Wick socialized with the 10 or so people at the party one or two at a time. Clarke and Lexa stood off to the side of the living room and waited for people to come to them. It was clear Lexa was not a social person so Clarke carried most of the conversation for them. People asked them questions about what it was like out there, what it was like in space on the ark, how they were doing setting up a civilization on their own. Their tone was mocking, but it didn't appear to be intentional. Lexa was seething beneath the surface. Clarke could tell she could explode on any of these people. Clarke took her hand and pulled her away outside while the others partied along inside.
"Are you okay?" She asked her when they were finally alone.
"I do not like these people."
"They just want to know how we live. They've been sheltered here. They don't know what it's like outside of this city."
"Why should we tell them?"
"Because if we're going to recommend the clans move here-"
"I'm not sure I will recommend that." Lexa expressed with a little frustration in her voice.
"Lexa, you saw this place. It's amazing." She pointed in the direction of the house with music playing and people laughing and talking. "What's so wrong with living here?" Clarke asked her.
"You were once concerned that you could not trust these people." Lexa recalled.
"I'm not saying I trust them fully yet, but there's nothing here to make me anymore concerned." She admitted. "I think we should tell the leaders to recommend migrating here."
"Hod op." Wait. "Clarke, you're talking about ending 100 years of beliefs and tradition to move to this place because it will be… easier?"
"Not just easier, Lexa. Better." Clarke told her and reached for her hand, but Lexa pulled back. "And I'm not talking about ending anything. We can talk to Carolina about how to best include everyone's beliefs and traditions here."
"It's not possible, Clarke."
"You won't even try it?"
"It is not something you try." She stared into Clarke's eyes. "I am a warrior, Clarke. I've been raised to command my people in battle." She looked around. "What would I do here?"
Clarke thought about how best to respond and took a deep breath.
"Be happy. With me." She reached back out for Lexa's hand and the girl obliged. "We could live in that house, Lexa. We could be together. Your people and my people. They will need time, but maybe this place can help unite them. You and I can decide what we want to do. No more war." Clarke hoped out loud.
"Your imagination is getting the best of you." Lexa said.
"Would you consider what Carolina talked about earlier? Letting people decide for themselves?"
"I will deliver orders to my people, but it is up to them to follow them."
"And if they chose not too?"
"You've seen what happens."
"That was different. He tried to kill me."
"Yes, he did, but he also disobeyed my order. That is why he lost his life."
"Don't do that."
"Do what?" Lexa questioned and dropped Clarke's hand.
"Don't go backwards, Lexa. Don't go back to that place where you can't let your heart do anything. Don't tell me he was executed just because he didn't follow your orders. You and I both know it was more than that."
"If the clan leaders vote against settling here, none of the people will even know this place exists."
"You could change that."
"Why would I, Clarke?"
"Because it should be their decision. If they want to stay, so be it. If they want to live here, they should be allowed to move on without fear of being hanged."
"I do not want to talk about this right now." Lexa took a step away from Clarke.
"I'm telling my people." Clarke said. "Regardless of what happens in the capital. I'm going to tell them what's here and let them make their decision."
Lexa's eyes widened.
"And where will you live, Clarke?" Lexa asked her. "If I remain in the capital with my people, where will you live?" She gulped.
"I don't know yet." Clarke told her.
"You would live here." Lexa stated instead of asked.
"Maybe."
"With me there?" Lexa lowered her head. "If you remained at the camp of the Sky People, we could see each other, but here… it is too far to travel. It would take weeks to walk here. I could not be away from my people for that long."
"I know." Clarke took a step forward. "Lexa, I love you. I want to be with you."
"You want to be with me here."
"I want to be with you anywhere, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't considering this as somewhere I'd like to be." She paused. "You and I could have a life here. Beyond battles and blood."
"I am only battles and blood, Clarke of the Sky People."
"I am not Clarke of the Sky People right now. I am yours and you are mine." She reached for Lexa's waist and pulled her in hard. "And you are more than battles and blood or I would not love you." She pressed their foreheads together with little resistance from Lexa.
"What happens if I do not recommend settling here?" Lexa asked her with desperation in her voice. "I meant what I said. I do not think I can live without you."
"You and I will figure out our part later. First, we have to get back to the capital and to Jaha and tell them what we've seen here." Clarke closed her eyes. "If the other commanders vote to settle here, will you go along with it?" She asked trying not to sound hopeful.
"If the coalition's vote is to migrate here, I will have no choice."
"Lexa, you are the commander of the coalition. You have every choice."
Clarke and Lexa fell asleep next to one another, but facing opposite directions. Clarke's nightmares returned, but this time Lexa didn't wake when she popped up from her sleeping position. Clarke didn't want to wake her so she went into the living room, closing the bedroom door behind her. She turned on the TV and put in a movie. They'd had a similar system on the ark so she knew how everything worked. On the ark though, you sometimes had to hit the side of the player to make it work. She sat on the couch that had been cleaned recently because it still smelled fresh and watched for a few minutes before she heard the bedroom door open and watched as Lexa, still looking half-asleep walked into the room. She'd put on Clarke's shirt and shorts to walk out since she'd fallen asleep naked. She didn't utter a word. She sat on the couch next to Clarke and watched the movie unfold on the screen. Clarke mostly watched Lexa. Occasionally, she'd watch bits and pieces of the movie, but Lexa was enamored with the moving images on the screen. She'd smile every now and then with her wide eyes looking happy instead of concerned for the first time really since they'd arrived.
After about an hour, Lexa's head moved to Clarke's shoulder and she folded herself into her. Clarke wrapped her arm around her and smelled the shampoo in her hair. She'd brought the cookies from the kitchen earlier and they sat on the table in front of them.
"It could be like this." She said.
"I know." Lexa understood.
"You're scared."
"Yes."
"Me too, but Lexa, we've made it through so much already. We could do more than surviving here."
"I promise I will think about it." It was the best Lexa could offer and Clarke understood. They fell asleep watching the movie together and in the morning, packed their bags and met York for the ride to the hospital with the others to pick up Raven and head back to Jaha before leaving again for the capital.