When Tony opened his eyes Sunday morning, squinting against the light, he looked down at the woman fast asleep on his chest and wondered if they'd somehow managed to skip three weeks and it was the day after their wedding. They hadn't fallen asleep together since he'd stayed at her place while he was sick. But no, a glance as his watch confirmed reality. It was, however, the first day of April and one day closer to having Ziva forever.
As if she could hear his thoughts, Ziva stirred, blinking slowly as sleep left her. She looked up at him and around the room, then closed her eyes again, showing no interest in moving from her current position. "You are getting sneaky," she murmured.
He ran a hand over his face. "As much as I'd like to take credit for our impromptu sleepover, that wasn't on purpose." But he certainly loved how comfortable she was waking up with him, not being in a hurry to get out of his space.
Ziva's hand crept up to cover his mouth. "Shh. I am having a good dream."
Tony tugged her hair gently. "Hate to break this to you Ninja, but you're awake and it's time to get up."
She made a face but didn't open her eyes again. "No. We slept last night and now it is time for a nap."
He started to contradict her just because it was fun to get a rise out of her, but then Tony shrugged. Who was he to refuse a little extra time holding his wife-to-be while she slept? "Okay," he whispered, "have a good nap Zi."
Apparently satisfied that he wasn't going to interrupt her rest further, Ziva's breathing soon resumed the deep, even cadence that meant she was no longer awake. Tony dozed on and off for another hour, finally pulled back to full consciousness when he could feel the baby moving.
Almost of its own accord, his hand moved to Ziva's abdomen. "Mornin' Chipmunk," Tony yawned. A sharp jab hit his palm and he suddenly felt more awake. "Hey, take it easy baby girl, Mom is trying to nap. That can't be easy with you practicing kung fu moves inside her."
He moved his fingers in slow circles over the spot he could feel movement and gradually the baby settled down. "There you go, just relax," Tony whispered. "I bet you're getting a little cramped now that we're getting closer to the end. But don't worry, it won't seem so long."
Pictures of future moment popped into Tony's head and he shared them with the...with his baby. "Then we'll get to hold you and touch your little feet and hands, and see those beautiful brown eyes I know you're going to have. We'll feed you and rock you and even change your diapers without complaint. Mommy and I will just be so glad you're here, it will make up for everything else Chipmunk, I promise."
He had to blink a little more rapidly than usual and knew if he continued this line of thought, he'd be wiping away tears and DiNozzo men did not cry. Tony leaned down to kiss Ziva's bump, not noticing the way her eyes flickered. She'd woken up when he started rubbing her stomach, and it was all she could do to keep up the pretense of sleep when she heard what he was saying to their baby. Keeping her eyes closed, Ziva breathed a silent prayer of thanks for this wonderful man. There was never a doubt that she had made the right choice.
NCIS
Abby was upstairs making the bed when a brilliant idea came to her. "Timmy!" she yelled. "Come here!"
A faint, "Almost finished Abbs," floated up the stairs and she huffed, annoyed at being put off when she wanted to share her inspiration.
Just then his words made sense to her and Abby practically flew down to the basement. "Almost finished?" she questioned. "Do you mean you finished your book?" Her tone demanded to know the answer immediately.
Pulling the last page from his typewriter, Tim set it on a stack of many others and spun around in his chair, a satisfied smile on his face. "Yup."
Then he stood up quickly to catch Abby as she squealed and flung herself at him, giving Tim one of her very best hugs. "Congratulations Mr. Gemcity," she whispered in his ear. "We are so proud of you."
He pulled back. "We?"
Abby rolled her eyes. "Me and the baby of course McGee! He's going to be your biggest fan someday."
"Of course," Tim agreed. Then he suddenly got nervous. "I had to make a last minute change." Turning around, McGee shuffled through pages to find the one he wanted and handed it to her. "I hope you don't mind sharing the dedication."
Confusion wrinkled her brow but Abby took the sheet and read over the words, a smile spreading slowly across her face. She leaned closer and kissed his cheek. "Not at all. This is perfect Tim. What a sweet thing to do!"
Embarrassed, he stuck his hands in his pockets and changed the subject. "So, what was it you wanted?"
Her eyes lit up as she remembered. "Let's drive over to Alexandria and go shopping for baby stuff."
McGee's gaze drifted to her abdomen, still almost unchanged even at sixteen weeks. "Baby stuff, now?"
Abby's expression fell. "You don't want to?" A sheen of tears glistened in her eyes and Tim knew he had seconds to make it better.
He cupped her face in his hands. "I definitely want to babe, you just surprised me, that's all. Come on," McGee dropped a kiss on her nose and pulled her towards the stairs.
Abby's smile came back and he breathed a sigh of relief. The pregnancy hormones were making her emotions a little wonky lately and he often didn't know what reaction he'd be dealing with from one minute to the next. But as long as he didn't upset her, Tim was happy.
They got in the car and enjoyed a relatively peaceful half hour drive to the city. With some help from their GPS, the couple located a store called The Baby Boutique and decided to give it a try. Once inside, Abby was in her glory, gushing over all the adorable infant wear.
Tim, feeling a little out of his element, stopped at a rack holding what the sign called 'onesies', with different sayings on them. After some investigation, he found sizes on the tags and looked through the different colours until he found a black newborn one with white letters that said, 'Wake me up, I dare you'.
The tiny garment was only half again as long as his hand and Tim stared at it in wonder. He barely remembered when Sarah was born, she certainly hadn't seemed this small. Abby came up behind him and hugged him much like she had in the evidence garage after the OTTO incident. She rested her chin on his shoulder.
"Hard to believe, huh?"
McGee shook himself out of his thoughts. "What?"
She smiled. "That ours will be that little." Abby let go and looked down at her relatively flat middle. "Even harder to imagine when I still have no physical proof that there's a baby in there somewhere."
Tim swallowed hard and held the outfit up to her stomach. "At least you'd match," he said, referring to the black tee his wife was wearing.
Abby leaned up to kiss his cheek. "This can be our first one then."
For the next couple hours as McGee trailed her around the store, he often felt eyes on them and was certain the staff were immensely amused at the Goth's enthusiasm for all things baby. She admired the cribs, gushed over cute little animals (and when she spotted a black bat among the group, it was instantly added to the growing collection in the cart), ooh'd and aww'd over stuff she never even knew existed, and was generally enthralled with the entire process.
By the time they reached the checkout, Abby had filled their cart with a miscellaneous assortment of anything that had caught her eye. Not sure it was the most effective way to go about stocking their as of yet un-designated nursery, Tim none the less pulled out his wallet, happy to indulge Abby for this. She wasn't the only one excited about the baby.
NCIS
Tony and Ziva waited until afternoon to go for a walk, seeing as she hadn't been in an active mood earlier. Aside from Tony bringing up fruit and cereal for brunch, they hadn't left his room, spending the entire morning cuddling on the bed and watching whatever was on for Sunday TV.
While he'd enjoyed it a lot, the relaxed, married time atmosphere, Tony found the change in their usual routine a little unsettling. He was glad when she finally suggested getting outside to enjoy the day. Thankful it was sunny out and very mild, they walked slowly through his neighbourhood until they came to a park.
Ziva watched the children run and play under the watchful eyes of moms and dads and leaned back against Tony's chest, wanting his arms around her. Without prompting he obliged, sliding his hands along the sides of her belly in a gesture so intimate Ziva had to force herself not to pull away. It felt so right and yet that feeling scared her, for a reason she could not put a name to.
It wasn't long before they moved on and Tony could see Ziva's energy flagging. He didn't find it hard to convince her to head back to the house. Once inside he guided her gently to the couch and helped her lie down, then draped a light blanket over her sleeping form. When he was sure she wouldn't wake again for awhile, Tony grabbed a phone and called his buddies, setting up a basketball game in half an hour.
The time on the court helped him clear his head and work out the emotions that had been gathering inside him all weekend. It was good to be active and get down and dirty with the guys, to not have to think about all the serious stuff for an hour. During that time he realized how much Ziva must miss going to Ops. She had precious little outlet for any emotions she was dealing with and the stress they'd face over the next six weeks was going to demand a release at some point. It was something to think about.
Tony had just started downstairs after his shower when he heard Ziva in the kitchen. He took a moment to appreciate something that would soon be a normal occurrence before continuing. She smiled when he came around the corner but didn't say anything. He stood leaning against the wall, watching her until Ziva frowned at him.
"I do not need a spectator for making cookies Tony," she flapped her hand at him. "Go watch a movie or something."
Staring a little bit longer just to annoy her, Tony finally turned towards his movie collection and thought long and hard before slipping in the first Indiana Jones movie. Starting a trilogies month would keep them, or at least him, busy until the wedding. An hour later the smell of cookies wafted over to the couch and Tony took a deep breath, pausing at the scene where the Ark had been opened and angry spirits smote all those who looked upon their faces, to enter the kitchen in hopes of snagging one or two.
"Smells great Zi, what kind?" he asked, peeking through the oven door.
Ziva swatted him with a dish towel. "Watched cookies do not bake Tony." Before he could tell her that the saying was actually about watched pots, she gave him a gentle shove towards the sink. "Here, wash. I will start supper."
"You shouldn't have to do both," he objected. "Let me help."
She shook her head. "You are helping by doing the dishes. And you do not know how to cook what I have in mind."
Intrigued, Tony set to work at his task, watching Ziva closely as she gathered the ingredients she needed. Admittedly he made a nuisance of himself in order to get her attention - stealing cookies while they cooled, getting in the way as he tried to guess what she was making, pestering her to let him at least play her assistant, if nothing else. Ziva nearly lost her patience with him, but then banished him to the other side of the counter to cut vegetables while she prepared the meal. At least it kept him out of trouble.
By six pm, they were seated at the table, Tony carefully sampling everything on his plate, most of which he'd never tried previously. "Mmm, wow, this is really good Zi," he commented, surprised again at her cooking skills, even though he should have known better after all the months and years they'd spent together.
Ziva took a bite and closed her eyes, sighing with pleasure. "It tastes like home," she said softly, a hint of sadness in her gaze when it fell on him. She shrugged. "Sometimes I just need to remember."
He put his hand over hers, wishing he could take away the ache, the longing for something that was no longer hers. "You can use me as your guinea pig anytime you want to remember." Tony chuckled and winked at her. "Free food, I'm game."
She smiled faintly and they finished their meal with little conversation. Once everything was cleaned up and put away, Ziva watched him head back to the couch and walked to the entry, reaching for her coat. Tony looked over and frowned. "Leaving?"
He didn't sound too pleased about it and Ziva shook her head. "I have somewhere I want to go." She searched his eyes for a long moment. "I think I will be back."
Swallowing the words he wanted to say, Tony nodded. "Okay. I love you." Whatever she was doing would remain a mystery for now. He figured she'd tell him sometime, but Tony wanted Ziva to be able to share her secrets when she wanted to, and not because he pressured her into giving up the information. Enough people had taken away her freedom of choice, he would not be the next one in line to do that.
Appreciating his understanding, Ziva returned the words and stepped out into the night. She was in need of some wisdom again, and there was only one place she could go for it now. Getting into her car, Ziva settled back into the seat and drove. She needed to see her father.
NCIS
When Gibbs heard soft footsteps on the floor overhead, he started running through his options for late night visitors. Celeste had yet to invite herself over since their reunion, though that could begin happening again at any time. However, his ex-wife would probably come right downstairs and not make herself at home first.
Abby had already called earlier to tell him in one very long sentence how excited she was about the baby items she and McGee had purchased. His junior agent hadn't paid a visit to the basement before, which didn't mean he wouldn't, but it wasn't likely. That left Tony or Ziva for a Sunday evening.
His guess was proven right when Ziva came slowly down the stairs with a mug of tea in her hands and sat on the step she always claimed. The two remained in silence while Ziva sipped her drink and Gibbs smoothed the ribs of his boat. Finally she looked down and spoke quietly.
"Tony calls himself Daddy. He talks to my baby with all the love of a man who actually fathered her." Ziva hesitated and hunched over, curling herself around her baby bump. "Gibbs, how am I to tell my child about her father? How do I explain what happened and not bring darkness and evil into an innocent soul?"
Gibbs had moved closer when she started talking. Now he stood before her and eyed the ring sitting boldly on Ziva's left ring finger. He touched it lightly. "You tell that little girl or boy that their dad is a good man. He works hard, he loves deeply and he chose you to be his." Her eyebrows drew together and Gibbs sighed.
"Some things Ziver, don't need to be told. For everything that matters, Tony has been this baby's father since you found out. When you say 'I do' at the end of the month, he'll be the father legally and forever. That's all your child ever needs to know."
Tears streaked down Ziva's cheeks. "I wish she was Tony's in every way."
Letting out a breath, Gibbs sat down and put his arm around her. "It's too soon to think about, but someday you and Tony may have a child together."
Ziva shook her head, crying harder. "No, we cannot. Mandy, she told me one day when Tony was not there. I have too much...damage." She wiped at the wetness. "I will not be able to have another child. She is surprised that I have almost carried this pregnancy to term. At least, she was not sure we would make it this far."
There was always one more thing, wasn't there? Gibbs ran a hand over his face. Hadn't she suffered enough? But no, even now Somalia still followed her. He hugged her close. How strong and beautiful this woman was. Gibbs had no doubt that Ziva would make an amazing wife and mother and he looked forward to seeing how Tony's love helped heal all the hurts.
When her tears slowed down, Gibbs kissed her head and made her look at him. "Did he tell you it doesn't matter?" If Tony had said the wrong thing about this issue and that's why she was so upset, he was going to suffer for it.
Fear hung heavy in her eyes and Ziva shook her head frantically. "I did not tell him. I cannot...lose him that way. You have to promise you will not tell him. Promise me Gibbs."
Already foreseeing huge complications if she kept the news from Tony indefinitely, Gibbs started to offer his opinion. "Ziva..." but she stopped him before he could say more.
"Please do not try to make me change my mind." Ziva's hands hovered protectively over her belly. "I cannot do this without him," she whispered.
He sighed. "You don't trust his love."
Her eyes widened. "I know he has not broken one promise to me since I've been home. He already has as much of me as I can give. I have no reason to think he will run away now." She looked at the stairs. "But there is only so much loss a person can take before they decide it is not worth the trouble any more. I do not want this to be the thing that breaks us both."
Gibbs stared at her for a long time. "For the record, I think he deserves to know. But it's not my secret to tell, so I promise he won't hear it from me."
Ziva let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you."
"You're not alone any more Ziva," Gibbs said firmly. "Start asking for what you need. We're family, here that means something special. It's more than just words." He brushed a tear off her cheek and helped her stand up. "We're not going anywhere."
NCIS
Tony was halfway through The Last Crusade when Ziva returned. As interesting as The Temple of Doom could be, he really couldn't handle the drinking blood and voodoo dolls parts - it made him shiver and he was glad Abby had flushed hers, even if it did cause a flood.
She stood just inside the door staring at him for a long moment before admitting something in a whisper. "I do not want to go home and be all alone."
This newly clingy side of Ziva was something he both enjoyed and feared. His stubborn, independent ninja wasn't acting like that right now and Tony wondered if she would ever get her confidence back, or if loving and being loved had fundamentally changed her. But Ziva didn't need his concerns right now, apparently she just needed him.
So Tony took her hand and led her upstairs. He waited while she brushed her teeth and got ready for bed, then tucked her in. He lay down on top of the blanket behind Ziva and cuddled with her, offering his warmth and presence until she fell asleep.
NCIS
Tony woke in the middle of the night and moved slowly off the bed so as not to disturb his fiancee. He passed a fitful few hours on the couch downstairs and went into the office early, needing some space to think. But so Ziva would know he was thinking of her, he left a note taped to the door. Zi - I love you. Pick you up at ten after five for your appointment. T.
Glad for the quiet of the empty bullpen, Tony slid his fingers into his hair and rested his head on his arms. He thought about the weekend and last week and all the changes that had taken place over the last couple of months. He was so absorbed in his reflections that it didn't even register when the elevator dinged.
Gibbs paused in front of his senior field agent's desk and sighed, taking a sip of coffee to prepare himself. Ziva last night and Tony this morning, he should've figured. They were pretty much a package deal these days. "Out with it DiNozzo."
Tony jumped and stared at Gibbs for a moment before he found his voice. Then he leaned back in his chair. "Hi Boss."
The older man raised an eyebrow. "Well? You don't just sit there looking like someone kicked your dog for no reason." He took a not so wild guess. "Ziva?"
Tony nodded slowly. "Is there ever anything else?" Not since the Damocles, since Somalia, since Michael, since so far before and long ago that he couldn't remember just exactly when it started, his care and worry for her, wanting the best, but wanting that to be him.
Gibbs snorted. "She said yes DiNozzo. You're marrying her in three weeks. What now?"
That was a loaded question if there ever was one. He pressed one fist to his mouth. "There's something wrong Boss," he said hoarsely. "With Ziva, with the baby maybe." Tony clenched his jaw briefly. "The doctor did some tests last week, hopefully we'll know something today. But..." he trailed off and quickly stood up to pace, unable to sit still any longer.
"She's been really tired Boss, ever since her last day of work. She sleeps a lot, I never pictured Ziva as the kind to take naps. And she's...different." Tony shrugged. "She doesn't want to be alone anymore and it's strange. After months of her pushing me away, I don't know what to do when she seems to want to be around me all the time now."
He ran out of words and Gibbs took another gulp of coffee. "You done?"
Tony dropped into his chair again. "Yeah."
"Okay." Gibbs set his gaze firmly on the younger man's. "Ziva's appointment isn't until this afternoon. Put it aside, worry then if you need to, when you know what you're up against." His lips curved up at the corners. "My dad used to say that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but you never get anywhere. As for the other..." He reached over and smacked Tony on the back of the head.
"Make up your mind DiNozzo. Either you want all of her or you don't, but you can't pick and choose bits and pieces. You have to love her through every change or not at all." Gibbs got in Tony's face and glared. "Don't make me get Abby to test her ability to leave no evidence. Got it?"
Tony leaned back a little, rubbing his head. "Got it. I'm not gonna hurt her Boss, I will love her no matter what." He couldn't imagine doing anything else.
Gibbs sat down at his desk. "You're wrong. You will hurt her and she'll hurt you. Both of you will say things you don't mean and when you fight all the past stuff will suddenly come back. There will be some days you don't feel like loving Ziva, some days she'll find it hard to love you. Love is a choice you make, like forgiving and forgetting. You need to be ready for the tough parts too." He paused and let himself picture his girls for the briefest of seconds.
"But Ziva and that child will also be the best thing that ever happened to you. They will light up your life when the darkness is so thick you can't find your way out. They will be your joy, your reason to smile every day. And loving them will be worth any trouble you face together. That is what you need to think about when you promise her all the days of your life."
Tony stared at Gibbs as if he were an imposter, but then he blinked and committed the man's words to memory, knowing he spoke from personal, painful experience. Finally he nodded and gave him a tight smile. "Thank you Boss." This was a moment he would not soon forget.