Erebus on the Cusp of Dawn
by Hic Iacet Mori
Red, the color of war, is foremost the color of life, stark against the white of Death's grim smile. Even winter, the little death, is a paradise of white, burying the world under layers of snow as it dares color to exist where it shouldn't. And it dares back, the red of courage, splashing vividly on white canvas, the red in your veins against the white in nature's chest, crafting dreams in the long sleep, breathing life in the short death, assuring the ending of the end and the beginning of a new start.
She laughed, a husky medley of breathless gasps of a man with another chance to laugh and live. The very air around her throbbed with heat, electricity, her presence overwhelming the darkness and pushing it away. Everything about her spoke of colors, of life, of the promise of dawn after enduring sorrow in the night—they were in her smile, in her eyes, in the very essence of her existence, winding around him like the scent of jasmines floating with the gentle snow from the dark winter skies.
She was an entrancing sight, a paradise of hues—of gold and bronze and orange and black, against the silent falling snow weaving fairy tales in the night.
And then her eyes met his, silvery blue oceans but for the tints of blood red, and the dream of the first snow night vanished in the air like flame against the wind.
Kyuubi—his Naruto, dammit, this was his Naruto, what the hell was happening?—raised a gun and cocked it with a cheerful grin. She looked like a child with her first toy gun, making shooting sounds against imaginary monsters in the shadows of her room.
"You know what? I hate that name," she said, giggling. The sound raised goosebumps on his skin—it was unnatural, like the glint in her eyes, so savage, so red. "Since you started calling me that, I've wanted to plant a bullet between your oh-so-dark-and-mysterious eyes." She leaned closer, her voice falling to a hush in the first ritual of secrets. "I still do."
Sasuke shook his head—against the tableau of her moonlit beauty, against the tapestry of her casual words—his shaking fists curling at his side, ignoring, deciding. This had gone on long enough, he thought, grasping at a last vestige of hope in desperation. Whatever she was going on about, this had to end.
"Naruto, stop it," he said firmly. "Stop this strange game and let's go home. You owe me, you idiot," his even voice rose a notch, his eyes unwavering as he gazed into her shining ones, "for hiding from me for three damned days." He couldn't stop the tremor in his almost inaudible words, his voice lowered. "You owe me an explanation."
This had to be a game. This had to be nothing else.
"Oooh, the Nile's rising!" Madara sang, before continuing with an almost fond tone that sickened him. "And the littlest Uchiha can curse too. So proud, so proud."
Sasuke ignored him, his eyes on the blonde standing across him. He took a few steps forward, not an ounce of hesitation, a hand reaching out in faith, in trust. He would believe in her—he could do nothing else but believe in her still.
"Come on, dobe," he said, his voice flat, his eyes pleading—take my hand, let's go, stay with me, I believe in you, I love you I love you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou—his fingers longing to feel hers enclose with his. "Let's go."
She threw her head up and laughed, laughter unlike he'd ever heard from her. A chill ran up his spine and his hand dropped in disbelief, at the icy touch of treachery ghosting in his veins.
... Why?
"Teme..." she purred. Sasuke's body jerked at the sound, an unconscious response she had evidently seen. Her malicious sneer made him feel so dirty and disgusting, the worm-infested earth on the sole of her boots.
"A formal introduction is needed," Madara announced with a noble wave of a gloved hand. He turned to Sasuke, who was warring between taking a step back and lunging forward at the condescending air of the man called his uncle, "Kyuubi, this is Uchiha Sasuke, son of my late younger brother Fugaku. Sasuke-kun, this is Kyuubi no Youko of the Jinchuuriki." He tilted his head in a mock thoughtful gesture. "I believe you know her as Uzumaki Naruto?"
Naruto grinned, drawing attention to the sharp glint of her teeth. She raised her weapon to Sasuke's heart, steady against the uneven rise and fall of his chest. "Nice meeting you again, Sasuke," she greeted coyly, her head cocked to the side. It hurt so much, seeing that familiar action—she acted the same but the way she spoke was different. Her voice was cold, her eyes hard. She was her and she wasn't at the same time.
"You look like you're 'bout to cry," she crooned. Behind her, Sasuke could hear that bastard Madara snicker. "Always been the emotional Uchiha, ne? Want Kyuu-Kyuu to kiss your booboo, Sasuke-kun?"
He took an unconscious step back and stopped at the smirk on her face. Sasuke clenched his jaw against the fear, the confusion, the anger, the pain—feel nothing, he needed to feel nothing, nothingnothingnothingnothing—and stepped forward once again, the steel barrel of the gun dripping ice over the hammering of his heart. He needed to think, just to think because he would die if he didn't. He needed his wits about him, harsh logic over mixed emotions. He knew, he just knew, that he couldn't die now.
His blank eyes watched her raise her left hand to her hair and pull at a red lace. He watched the silky gold strands, waterfall of sunshine his fingers had ran through—no, stop that, don't think about that—tumbling down her left shoulder, her other hand concealing her gun from where she had taken it. There was a gleam of mischief in her blue eyes and he inwardly braced himself, forcing himself to think, not feel—"Hands behind you, turn around like a goood boy"—but he couldn't stop his shiver when she stood behind him, blowing hot air on his nape as she bound his hands with the ribbon—"Kinky, Sasuke-kuuuuun?" she whispered in his ear, and he could feel her grin when he shuddered at the images she evoked, at sharp teeth nibbling on his earlobe, at a swift dart of a moist tongue in his ear—and he despised her, that moment, despised her so much for the power she had over him, for the power she knew she possessed over his body, his heart, his soul.
Don't. Just think, think of a way or you'll die.
Another ribbon fluttered before his eyes and suddenly it was dark, and he realized that she had blindfolded him too. He gasped at a sharp kick on the back of his ankle, forcing him down to his knees. He bit down on his bottom lip, staunching the sudden urge to sob—it was all real, now, the darkness complete. It was dark and it was real and he couldn't see a damned thing and he would die, he would die blind to the world and he wouldn't even know he's dead because there won't be light fading from his sight to tell him he was dead. He would die thinking he's still alive, just trapped in a blackhole waitingwaitingwaiting for someone to shine a light where he was because it was dark and he was alive but he was really dead and he would never know at all and he would be gasping and dying all over again.
Nii-san it's so dark it's so dark it's so dark help me someone please Nar—
An arm wrapped around his chest, pulling him against a warm body. He turned around in desperation—light, just a hint of light—and he could feel softness molding against the hard planes of his back, and it was so wonderful and comfortable and familiar that he sighed and relaxed against it. At least it wasn't cold, he wouldn't be cold, it can't be too dark if it wasn't cold, right?
Like the sun, always warm, always with the promise of light—
Sudden cold touched the tender skin below his chin.
Sasuke froze.
—and everything, everything was so dark and clear.
"Teme..." she murmured against his hair. The steel barrel dug deeper. "Don't worry so much about the dark, now. I'm here to watch over you, remember?"
"And I promised I will."
"Damn you," he hissed, his eyes burning behind his blindfold. "You lied to me."
"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke," she said, chuckling, "you can accuse me of all things, but lying? I never lied to you, littlest Uchiha." He heard a thoughtful hum, could feel it to his core. "Y'know, these ribbons he gave me is so fucking useful. Fancy that."
Sasuke heard someone applauding somewhere behind him—Madara, his mind hissed—obviously gleeful at the unfolding drama before him. "Kyuubi, I never should have doubted you," Madara declared. He could feel her lips curving, brushing against his scalp from where she still held him to her body. No, he wasn't supposed to notice things like these, stop it stop it stop.
"I thought you have betrayed me like his foolish older brother, you've taken so long in this mission. You did enjoy building things up, na, Kyuubi-chan?"
"You wound me," she said in a throaty voice, her words vibrating against his spine. "And it's just three months. You missed me that much, Tobi-sama?"
Bile churned violently in his gut. The heat stinging behind his eyes was painful, bitter.
"The Uchiha kyoudai fall through their eyes," she went on. He could hear the smirk in her voice, feel the arrogance of being proven right. "Typical men, so hungry for sex."
His stomach heaved wildly. Sasuke swallowed hard, forcing the acid taste of his vomit at bay. He couldn't show any more weakness.
"Take care of him then, Kyuubi," Madara commanded. He could feel the bastard's smirk and Sasuke snarled. "Give him the wildest night of his life. Ja."
Despite his steadfast hold on his control, his hips bucked against her low moan of agreement. Misery washed over him, humiliation at how easily she could break him. Sasuke inhaled deeply, forcing down a shameful gasp at her husky chuckle on his ear. She was right, he was no different, he was like every other man, like his older bro -
He stiffened. Nii-san.
"I have another precious person...Maybe you know her?"
She had seduced him. Made him fall for her. Love her.
"Her name is Uzumaki Naruto and she is a very unpredictable girl."
White fury overwhelmed him, almost stealing his breath away. He held on to this rage—better rage than hurt, than crippling pain—the darkness replaced by flashing red behind his eyes. She was a cruel bitch, a fucking whore, capturing Itachi's heart before killing him the way she did with him, the way she's planning to do with him. How could she? How could she be this cold, this heartless?
Sasuke gnashed his teeth, this time against the rage prickling at his eyes. How could she?
His voice was steady, low. Dark.
"Motherfucking bitch."
A snicker. "Oh, where you there when I did your mom, Sasuke-kun?"
He spat, hoping it hit her. From the amused snort further increasing his fury, it didn't.
"Did you think it's so hot you wanted it for yourself?"
He jolted at a hot hand trailing inside his shirt, the touch almost—almost caring. Sasuke clenched his jaws and concentrated on breathing evenly, on sitting still. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction of any physical reaction that would tell her he wanted this. He hated this, he didn't want this, he loathed this with every fiber of his being.
Even if his traitorous body did.
He accidentally let out a gasp when the hand reached his chest and twisted his nipple. He unconsciously arched against the knowing hand, giving an undignified squeak when a hot mouth descended on his neck and sucked.
Sasuke jerked around wildly, trying to get away, to get closer, groaning when a knee rubbed harshly on his half-formed erection. He was being assaulted from all sides and the blindfold was heightening his senses—the cold metal under his chin, the hot mouth on his neck, the punishing twist on his nipple, the rough friction on his groin, the jasmines in the air. He cried out in denial when the knee stopped heavily on his cock.
"So spoiled," Naruto murmured against his jaw as she kissed up to his ear, her voice laced with sin. He shuddered. "So much like your brother. Must make you proud, hmm?"
The words were a splash of ice on his heated skin.
"Fuck. Off!" Sasuke yelled. He started to kick wildly, kicking away the lust, the shame, the familiar warmth he wanted to sink into even now. Damn her, damn her for toying with him like this! Why, why?
"Why?" she asked softly, her voice coming from beside him. Even now his body swayed close to her, wanting to be with her. "Simple. You're my mark. It's business, nothing personal." She yanked savagely at his hair, forcing his head to tilt back. Snow fell on his exposed throat. "Even though your mom killed mine, this is purely business. Even though I despise the blood running through your veins, hate the very air you breathe. Curse the very fact of existence of the Uchiha name." He shuddered helplessly when her teeth descended on his neck once more, the snow melting against the wet heat of her mouth. "I even work with your uncle, see?"
She released him with an obscene pop. His shallow pants echoed in the tranquil winter night.
"Just business, my pretty pretty mark," she whispered in his ear before abruptly letting go.
Sasuke swallowed. She's lying, she had to be. She wouldn't have—wouldn't have touched her like she did, right?
"All those times—Those times you said you're watching over me... that's because I'm your target?" he asked lowly.
A nonchalant answer. "Uh-huh."
No.
"Those times you had nightmares? When you dreamed of my brother. Were those lies?"
"H-mm."
No, no.
Sasuke could feel the sharp stab of desperation from where he had tried to bury it, loosening his tongue with every spike of pain. "Those times... you're in my arms? When you came to me?" He inhaled sharply. "When you kissed me?"
"Yep."
It had been happening since he saw them, standing close to each other, guns in their hands with the snow kissing the air around them. He felt it acutely, now, and he couldn't stop it anymore.
His heart, breaking in his chest.
"I love you," Sasuke choked out. "How could you?"
"Ha!" He blinked at the sudden assault in his eyes from the blindfold pulled down to his neck. Eyes cold as ice and sharp as flint held his, their gaze judging in their emptiness. "You don't love me. What you have, that's just something any puppy have. Grab a stray from the street, shower it with pats and treats and it will worship you forever." Pink lips curled into a sinister smile. "That's you, teme. A puppy. I lavished you with attention and let you fuck me every time you want to. Stuff you've never had before, ne?
"Do you know what I hear when you say that?" She didn't let him answer, her eyes glinting with a blade's smile. "I love you because you let me fuck you while you sleep. I love you because you gave me my first blowjob and you swallowed my jizz. I love you because you let me eat your pussy and fuck you with my fist. I love you because you're one helluva fuck and you let me screw you every way I could imagine. I love you because you don't mind I can't even be bothered to pull on a fucking condom so you can carry my spawn some time we're not so lucky. I love you because my brother's been inside you, something he's never done to me, and you're the closest that he can fuck me and I fuck him when I fuck you."
Sasuke spat in her face, his face white with fury, revolted and enraged to the depths of his soul. She didn't even blink.
"Why, want some more?" she asked, her face an innocent blank. Her lips split into a feral grin. "I think you'd like it very much if it was your cum on my face now, ne, Sasuke-kun?"
His eyes briefly closed in the darkness of his rage. When they opened, they were a bottomless abyss with glints of dangerous crimson, stark against his bloodless face. Before he could do anything else, however, Sasuke was pulled roughly to his feet and he braced himself at what was to follow, his mind already plotting a possible response. He stiffened when he was abruptly turned around and hands made short work of the red ribbons binding his wrists. His brows furrowed in confusion. What was she up to?
His eyes narrowed. Another trick, another lie. She was playing her mind games again, damn her—
Soon he was released. He flexed his fingers, working blood back into his hands, eyeing the silent blonde warily. Sasuke flinched in utter surprise when a gun was suddenly shoved to his hand. He almost dropped it in shock.
"I'm Kyuubi no Youko," Naruto said in a monotone. "Itachi was my partner. I killed him. Now," she stepped closer, "we'll play a game. I'll give you a headstart with one shot just as I did with him."
His mouth hung open. What the—Did she—
He stepped back, his fingers dropping the gun, angry at her, angry at himself for being angry at an offer that would put him at an advantage. "What the fuck are you playing at?"
Her lifeless gaze scared him more than what she had ever said or done. "I killed your brother, remember?"
Sasuke flinched at the bald statement. She bared her teeth in a grin, her eyes glowing with inhuman savagery. "Do you want me to tell you how?"
"Do you plan to kill Kyuubi?"
He took a step back.
"I tortured him until he was begging."
"He made me promise not to."
She stepped closer to him, invading his space.
"Begging for me to end his pathetic life."
"It won't be vengeance, teme."
Sasuke stared blankly at the weight on his hand.
"Do you have any idea—"
"It would be justice."
His hand shook at the gun pressed almost tenderly on his palm.
"—how sweet it is to fuck a dying man?"
Metal clattered to the ground as his hands shot out in blind rage. Make her shut up, his mind whispered. Hurt the bragging bitch. Give it to her.
A dark smile curled on his lips. His hands squeezed tighter around the slim neck.
Kill.
His smile grew as she gasped for breath, clawed for air. Let her die. Watch the life draw out of her lips for the very last time.
The snow was gorgeous beside her wide eyes.
Kill.
Blue blue eyes he loved with all his heart.
"Whatever happens—
His grip slackened.
"—do not avenge me."
His sight abruptly cleared.
"I taught you better than that, Otouto."
He looked down in horror.
What have I done?
Sasuke dropped her in shock and his knees buckled. He fell down in a shaking heap, backing away in panic when dull blue eyes turned to him—she was coughing as she held her own neck and he could see the red prints of his hands around her throat. He shook harder. He swallowed his vomit.
I'm not an avenger. I'm not a murderer. I'm not a killer. I'm not I'm not I'm not—
His breath hitched at her body pressing above him. Her cold eyes looked down at him in revulsion.
"You're so weak," she hissed. Sasuke couldn't stop trembling. "Spineless, pathetic. How do you expect to protect people when you can't even shoot your brother's murderer?"
"Shut up," he croaked."Shut up."
Her hot breath caressed his cheek. He was cold, so cold. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare.
"Itachi was crying, teme," she whispered, "while I sucked him dry and fucked him with my gun."
He squeezed his eyes shut. He covered his ears with his shaking hands.
"Groaning in pleasure, screaming in pain—he was so fucking hot with the blood from his chest and his ass and his dick that couldn't come anymore."
Stop it! his mind screamed. Stop it stop it stop it stop it!
"And his eyes! How they clouded with pleasure, pain—and hate too!—because he loves me so fucking much and he could only beg me to stop—"
"Shut up!"
"It was so funny, bastard."
"Go to hell!"
"I killed Itachi, Sasuke," Naruto whispered in his ear. Her cold lips curved into a cruel smile. "And I enjoyed every minute of it."
"DIE!"
A shot rang out.
Warmth landed on his cold cheek. Was it raining? It couldn't be the snow. It was too warm.
"Sasuke."
Dark eyes opened, dilated in shock.
"You missed, teme," she said calmly. Blood dripped steadily from her cheek. The bullet had grazed her scar. "Can't you do anything right?"
He felt warmth enclose his hand. Opaque blue eyes bored into his, twin mirrors of blue reflecting, not showing. A snowflake landed beside her wound, a white butterfly on a red bloom.
Uzumaki Naruto would always be beautiful in his eyes.
"It's as simple," she guided the gun to her chest, pressing on his finger around the trigger, "as this."
He opened his mouth in a soundless cry. A second shot rang through the air.
"Now, Sasuke," she gasped out. Blood dribbled down her pink lips. They shone brightly against the snow, against her tan face, against the cracks in the mirror of her icy blue eyes.
She mesmerized him. The silver blade reflecting all shades of red. The burst of sudden light in this lonely winter night. The reality of all his dreams against the nightmare she spun with her smile.
She was so gorgeous and he wanted to hold her forever.
"Run."
Sasuke scrambled to his feet and ran.
He collapsed minutes, hours, years later, a pile of naked grief—for his brother, for Naruto, for himself—shaking and crying and retching until everything was no more.
Until then, fight, let the blood in your veins flow, warming you against the cold of the silent chill of snow. Catch life with your blood against death in the snow, dream of the ending of the end and the beginning of a new start. In dreams exist the colors in the canvas of white.