A/N: So hi guys, already another one! This one will be a bit darker as I said in the last one. And as said in the title of this chapter, about Balinor's life, so till his dead. Also I want to ask of you all if you're really still enjoying these chapters, I don't really get much replies and I rather learn from all of you if it has been enough or if you want to have more. But besides that, please enjoy and tell me what you thought of it.

xxx

Balinor bit down on his lip as he watched Hunith's sleeping form in the bed. He could feel a sting of pain in his heart, he didn't want to leave her, but... he knew it was best for her this way. She would only be unhappy if she came with him, he didn't want her to live in fear, to always be on the run.

It was why he was now leaving her. He left her because he loved her, it was the best thing for her. At least now she could find another man, marry him and have children... he knew how much she wanted to have a child.

He couldn't give her that, not while on the run. He wouldn't let her get pregnant and have a child when the knights of Camelot could kill them at any moment, he couldn't let her and a child live like that.

He moaned as he remembered the night before, he had made a terrible mistake last night by sleeping with her... at that moment it hadn't seemed like a mistake, but later on... it would be terrible for her to get pregnant when she wasn't married, especially if she got pregnant by a wanted man.

It was then that Hunith shifted in the small bed, her bright blue eyes slowly opened themselves as her hand reached around her, searching for the warmth of the man in her bed. 'Balinor?' She whispered as she looked around, her eyes eventually fell on him and he quickly shoved his travelling bag out of her sight. 'What are you doing, love?'

He shrunk as he heard her words before he leaned towards her, sitting down next to the bed. 'It's nothing, I just wanted to take a little walk.' He leaned further forwards and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, their last one. 'Now go back to sleep, I will be... back soon.' He lied, it was hard, but he knew he needed to do it.

'Okay, but don't take too long.' She whispered gently before she lay back down and closed her eyes.

He watched her for a moment more, making sure that she was asleep before he placed the note he had so carefully written on the table. He hoped that she would one day forgive him for what he had done, but at least he knew that she was safe.

Balinor didn't wait any longer, gazing upon the love of his life one final time, he felt the tears gather in his eyes. He was going to break both their hearts. He turned around, grabbed the bag and headed outside.

He shivered slightly as he felt the cold air brush against his skin. He never looked back, not able to look at the house he had lived in for just over one month, but it was the best time of his life.

His mind shifted for a moment to the note he had left her.

Dear Hunith,

When you find this note you will have already noticed that I'm gone and I hope you can one day forgive me for that. I just want you to have a normal life, something I can't give you. I thank you for allowing me to stay in your house after I just showed up with Gaius' letter. Still I know that it's only fair for me to leave now, Uther is still searching for me and it means that for the rest of my life I will be on the run. Ronald told me that the knights are heading this way and I don't want you to be in anymore danger than I have already put you in.

Find someone better than me, have children and live a long and happy life. I have loved you more than you could ever imagine, so please be happy for me.

I will never forget you.

Balinor

xxx

Balinor had been shocked when he met this young man, barely paying attention to the prince at his side, this boy was far more important.

There was something in his eyes that was so familiar, that caused his heart to ache again, it was... painful and he wanted the boy gone as quickly as possible.

Ach, he was so stupid, agreeing to go with them to save Camelot, but there was some quality in this boy...

And then he heard it, the truth about this boy, about him. He could feel the tears jump to his eyes, this boy... this boy is his son... He... he has a son? Oh god, he had left Hunith while she was pregnant with their son, that one night... that one night had been enough.

He now felt the regret of leaving her, not being able to be there for their son, but at the same time, he had a boy, he had always wanted a son, he felt like the happiest man alive.

And he knew that this was his boy, even his name told him that. Merlin... The name of a bird, a falcon, the same that had flown over their heads when they had first met, almost hitting his head as he handed her Gaius' letter. It always had been their bird... the animal that had bound them together in that first moment.

He couldn't sleep that night, instead he carved the shape of a dragon for his son. He may not have been able to be there for him when he was younger, but he could at least give him this, the symbol of their family, of who they were, of who they would be for the rest of their lives.

Still fate was a cruel thing, he had barely learned of his son, barely knew his boy when he was forced to leave. Not that he regretted it, saving Merlin was the thing he knew he had to do. For his boy. He didn't feel the pain as the sword plunged into his flesh, he could only hear Merlin's voice as he slowly sank to the ground. His son's arms around him.

He could see his eyes, those warm and gentle eyes, Hunith's eyes. He knew one thing for certain, this boy would make him proud, Merlin would become a strong dragonlord, a mighty yet gentle man.

Merlin's crying form hung above him, his tears slowly dripping on his own skin. '...Listen to me!...Oh my son... I have seen enough in you to know that you will make me proud.' He spoke these words to his son, his words were the truth and somehow... somehow he felt at peace with dying, at least he had been able to meet his son, his little boy, his Merlin.