A/N: Thanks for sticking with this guys! Chapter 30 - woohoo! Lol, we're now just over a third of the way through the story. I'm estimating around 80 chapters but don't quote me on that, my stories have been known to take on a life of their own.

Anonymous/Un-signed in reviewers from the last couple chapters - I wish I could respond to every one of your reviews! Anyone who wants to get an account or sign in so I can...that would be fabulous. But if not, I want you to know I'm very glad to have you along for the journey. Thank you to: HotChocolateStar99, Tiva lovah, Chez, Juli, Her-my-own-ee, KEL, Aspenxo, TivaGirl26, and Mickey :)

Hebrew: ahuvi (beloved)

Abby stood in front of the mirror Monday morning, turning this way and that and scrutinizing her midsection carefully. "I think I'm getting a bump," she announced to her husband, who was in their room finishing with his tie.

He appeared in the doorway seconds later, looking puzzled. "What kind of bump?"

"A baby bump, silly," she giggled. "See?" Holding her hand under her ribcage, Abby flattened her shirt over her stomach and McGee could detect a roundness that hadn't been there before.

He ran his hand over the firm area and grinned. "Well, there's your proof."

"That and I can still feel goldfish swimming around," Abby added, then bounced around in a circle. "I can't wait to get back to my lab and my Bert and my Gibbs and my Caf-Pow. Ooh, Timmy!" she exclaimed with wide eyes. "Can we stop on the way to work and get a Caf-Pow?"

Tim rolled his eyes and chuckled. "I don't know how you can get addicted to No Caf-Pow. Isn't that impossible?"

"Not with me!" Abby sang out, grabbing her coat.

Twenty-five minutes later McGee dropped a happily Caf-Pow'd Goth off at her lab and took the elevator up to the bullpen. Abby unlocked the door and flipped on the lights with a grin. "Hi gang! Did you miss me?"

She stored her lunch box in the fridge, started her Wake Up Mix and slid her arms into a familiar white coat. When Abby returned to the main lab, she laughed out loud to see a piece of black poster paper attached to Major Mass Spec, red and white letters spelling out the message, 'WELCOME BACK ABBY!'.

"Tami, I think I may just keep you," she said quietly to herself, jumping when a voice answered her from the hall.

"Well, that's a relief," Tami smiled. "I'm really enjoying my job."

Abby cast a glance around her lab. "The place looks great Tami. How was your first unsupervised week?"

Tami dropped onto a stool. "Exhausting. I now know why you live off caffeine. The team caught several cases, which meant I was drowned in evidence. Agent Gibbs had us working at least sixteen hour days for part of the week and I don't think he was sleeping much at all because he uh...was even more Gibbs like than usual." She pushed her glasses up. "And of course Burt complained the whole time about missing you." Tami shrugged one shoulder. "He didn't like my music."

Abby picked up her stuffed hippo and squeezed him tight. "Back to normal now buddy." Then her eyes lit up. "Oh! I have to go give Gibbs an 'I'm back' hug."

She flew out the door and Tami chuckled, patting Bert's head. "Much better. It was way too quiet in here while she was gone."

Abby shifted from foot to foot impatiently as the elevator rose and hurried out as soon as it dinged. "Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs!" she cried, his only warning that a tackle hug was forthcoming.

He stood quickly and braced for her excitement. She threw her arms around his neck and held on tight until he patted her back. "Need to breath Abs."

Abby kissed his cheek and stared at him happily. "There, now everything is right again."

"Did you have a good time?" Gibbs asked, knowing that he might regret it.

At those words Abby launched into a hundred mile a minute monologue, in which it seemed breaths were optional, describing almost everything they'd seen and done while on their honeymoon., leaving out, of course, the details no one else needed to know about. Finally Gibbs put a hand on her shoulder.

"Take a break Abby," he said, certain she was starting to turn blue from lack of oxygen.

Just then Tony walked in and quickly became on the receiving end of an Abby hug before he could even say hi to McGee. The group chatted for a few minutes and Abby went back and forth between her three favourite guys until Gibbs' phone rang. She gave a long suffering sigh and then winked at them.

"That's my cue." She kissed her husband while Gibbs wasn't looking. "Bring me back evidence!"

Tim and Tony chuckled and grabbed their backpacks, all ready to go when the familiar order was barked. Matt ran in just on time only to follow them out and stayed at the back, hoping to avoid a headslap, not knowing that Gibbs would deliver it when least expected. Tony stared straight ahead and grinned. Everything was pretty much back to normal.

NCIS

Luckily Monday was a slow day, as their case turned out to be in Fornell's jurisdiction and everything had to be handed over. Gibbs was still growling about FBI interference and Director's who bowed to the slightest amount of pressure, but all Tony felt was relief when he picked up the phone to call Grace and let her know he could take Ziva to her doctor's appointment after all.

"Thanks for volunteering though." He appreciated the way Grace was getting involved with them, especially his mostly house bound ninja.

"It's my pleasure to spend time with her Tony, with both of you. Now promise you'll ask if you need anything else."

"Yes Nonna," he teased, because she was acting so much like the grandmother he remembered from childhood.

Grace rolled her eyes but accepted the compliment with a smile he could hear. "Go home to your wife Anthony."

"I've been waiting to hear those words all day," Tony grinned. "Later Grace." He hung up, grabbed his gear and left in a hurry.

Ziva was ready when he pulled in and they arrived at the doctor's office with less than a minute to spare. The appointment was fairly routine except that it was an ultrasound day and for that reason Ziva was very glad her husband could be there. The chance to see their baby never ceased to amaze him.

When Mandy was finished she wiped the gel off Ziva's stomach and let Tony help her sit up. "I have good news. Ziva, you've almost made it to thirty-six weeks, remarkable considering the circumstances. The better news is that if your baby is born now, the only problem I can see is that he or she might be underweight, but will still be fully developed and perfectly okay to live outside your womb."

The news brought a measure of relief to both Ziva and Tony, easing some of their fears and they reached for each other's hands, instinctively wanting the reassurance of contact. Mandy's brow creased. "To be honest Ziva, I never expected you to make it this far. It's definitely better for your baby but I can also see it's taking a toll on you." She sighed, wishing her patient would think about those in her life who cared about her and not only her child when she made the decision not to have the baby earlier. "I need to ask again whether-"

Ziva shook her head once, exhaustion lining her face and accenting the dark circles under her eyes. "You know my answer. I will wait." Beside her Tony's eyes clouded with worry but she didn't see and he said nothing. When it came to Ziva's health over their baby, argument was futile.

Mandy nodded, having expected that. "Fine. But if this keeps up much longer, I'm not going to give you a choice. Remember that his or her health depends on you. A mom who's so weak she can't go through labour isn't going to do your baby any good."

Ziva absorbed her words wearily, leaning on Tony for support. Finally the other woman smile and handed a book to the expectant mother, changing the subject. "This is for you to keep. It's a kind of 'what to expect at the end of your pregnancy, for labour and delivery, and dealing with a newborn' guide. Try to read it now while you still have time. The information will come in very handy once the fun starts."

"Thank you." Ziva looked at it curiously, deciding it would be one of the first things she did tomorrow.

"So, your marching orders are once again: don't yourself, eat proper meals three times a day and snack often, and rest as much as possible." She eyed Tony. "Make sure she does." Husbands were so much better at following the rules than their wives.

He slid his arm protectively around Ziva's waist. "I'll do my best." Even if it meant delegating Ziva watching duties to Grace, whether she liked it or not.

They left after that and were home by six in the evening. It wasn't even a question of Ziva laying down before they went to McGee and Abby's and he tucked her into bed with a kiss on the forehead. Back downstairs Tony paced back and forth through the livingroom, finally pulling out his phone to text Tim.

Ziva needed a nap, we might be late.

But his agitation persisted and he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He had no outlet here and he desperately needed one right now. Tony understood that Ziva was just protecting their baby, but who was protecting her? It was his job as her husband and partner, but aside from laying his fears and guilt on her very thick, he could think of no other way to persuade her to take Mandy's recommendation.

Tony sighed and fell heavily onto the couch. It wasn't fair! Why did he have to spend the next month wondering how much Ziva would suffer for her decision? In a fit of needed stress relief, he flung one of the throw pillows across the room, watching it thud softly against the wall and wondered idly if that's where they got their name. But that didn't help enough so he chose to take a walk around the block, or maybe a jog at this point. Anything was more productive than sitting around thinking about the worst that could happen.

NCIS

It was an hour before Tony woke Ziva and almost seven-thirty before they plugged Abby's directions into their GPS and found Tim and Abby's new house. The couple greeted them at the door and Abby smothered them both in enthusiastic hugs before dragging Ziva upstairs to take a look at the beginnings of the nursery.

Tony and McGee shook hands, looking after their wives in mild amusement. "She's going to be like that until she dies, isn't she?"

Tim kept his eyes glued on Abby's back until they rounded the corner. "Probably. But my life would be boring as all heck if she suddenly decided to be normal."

Tony clapped him on the back as McGee led him downstairs to check out the video game system he had set up. "So, how are you Tim?"

McGee raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Are you channeling Mr. Rogers?"

"Hey!" Tony protested. "I can be genuine...sometimes."

McGee chuckled. "Yeah, I know. But I'm not used to it yet. Ziva's a good influence on you."

Tony nodded. "The best. This last week and a half with her..." he shook his head. "I can hardly even remember what it was like when we weren't married. She's so much a part of me already."

"And you guys don't even have the baby yet."

Tony sighed and leaned back on the couch. "It's hard to imagine what that's going to feel like."

Tim looked down at his hands. "For me too. I mean, Abby's got us buying baby clothes and toys and accessories. We'll probably spend the rest of the month working on the nursery. She's barely showing, she's not even nineteen weeks, but the baby's already taking over everything."

"I've had a lot longer to think about it than you," Tony began, "but I saw the baby as an intruder at first too. Wait 'til you watch him grow inside Abby, until you can feel his movements, until all of a sudden you wake up one day and realize you're somebody's dad. Then the baby will be so intertwined in your lives that life without him or her, even when they're not born yet, seems inconceivable."

McGee mulled over his friend's words for a moment. "Thanks Tony. I didn't mean that I don't want our baby, that I'm not excited, reality's just taking a little longer to set in."

"It'll come Tim."

Getting comfortable, Tim suddenly switched the focus of the conversation. "So you and Ziva...how's that working out?" He remembered back to the days when no one could touch her and fast forwarded to her being brave enough to ask for a hug. But Somalia still haunted her eyes, it wasn't likely that everything could be happily ever after yet.

Tony cracked his knuckles. "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me, mixed with the worst kind of hurt I've felt. To have her at home all the time, to look at her rings and realize we finally made it, to see her smile and get to hold her in my arms..." he shook his head. "Sometimes I feel like it can't get any better than this. But that joy is balanced by each of her ghosts that I've bumped into, by the times my touch has scared her, by her nightmares and her scars. So sometimes I also feel like I'm not sure how it could be any harder."

Tim blew out a breath. "I can't imagine being married but not being able to..." He couldn't think of a good way to end the sentence. "Sleeping in the same bed with her every night...are you really okay with that being all you can do?"

Fighting back the urge to headslap his friend for asking personal questions, Tony flexed his fingers slowly. "I'm so grateful to just be able to share the bed with her that it doesn't come up much. But..." he thought of all the nights he watched her sleep, all the times they'd kissed and she'd pulled away, the very new experience of really being able to put his hands on her body. He sighed. "Yeah, sometimes it's a struggle. But I knew when I committed to her that we might have to wait...a long time for the chance to act like newlyweds."

Rubbing a hand down his face, Tony clenched his jaw momentarily. "The harder part than waiting on the physical stuff is watching how much this pregnancy is taking out of her. Did you really look at her tonight?"

"Didn't have much of a chance," McGee pointed out.

"Try again later," Tony advised, "maybe you'll see what I see. Our doctor wants her to have a c-section, says the baby is taking too much out of Ziva. But she won't...she won't let the baby come any earlier than she's supposed to. It's frustrating, because I just want her to be okay."

McGee laid a hand on Tony's shoulder. "She knows what she's doing Tony, Ziva's smart. She fights so hard for the important things, that's what she's doing right now."

Tony nodded, but couldn't handle any more serious subjects. "Tell me about your trip McLeprechaun. I want to hear some funny Abby stories."

Glad to oblige in whatever way he could to take Tony's mind off the tough stuff with Ziva, Tim began weaving into a conversation the kind of things he'd usually write into books. If there was one thing he was good at, it was embellishing reality and telling stories people wanted to hear.

NCIS

Up in the spare room that was still a collection of clutter mixed with spread out piles of baby things, Abby was sitting on the floor talking a mile a minute about everything in general and nothing in particular, while Ziva relaxed in the glider rocker that was their newest purchase.

Finally Abby took a breath and looked up at her friend. Ziva seemed tired, even though she'd just had a nap. Under her eyes the skin was dark and she just didn't seem quite herself. The change concerned her, because it had only been a week and a half since Abby had seen the Israeli, but on her wedding day Ziva had glowed with happiness and health. She wondered what else was under the surface.

Biting her lip, Abby ventured a question, her arms draped protectively around her stomach. "Ziva? Are you really...okay? About us, about the baby?" she sighed. "I know we haven't really gotten to talk about it since our announcement."

Ziva recognized and understood the gesture. She ran her hands slowly over her bump as she rocked, feeling the baby move gently within her. It was more than a minute before she gathered her thoughts to speak. "I am going to be very honest with you Abby and tell you what I told my therapist." She took a breath, something that was becoming more difficult as her growing uterus claimed space that used to belong to her lungs.

"I am happy for you and McGee - you are married and happy and expecting a baby - there is nothing to feel bad about." Ziva heaved a sigh. "But my heart aches with hurt and even envy because I do not know what it is like to get pregnant by a man I love." Her voice and eyes lowered. "I do not even know what it is like to give my body to him."

In one moment Ziva had given Abby so much to think about, she wasn't sure which question to ask first. She went with the most recent. "Umm...I know it's really none of my business, but you and Tony haven't...ever, you know...at all?"

Ziva read between the lines and stared at her friend sadly. "Even if my doctor had not told Tony that...intimacy was unsafe for me and the baby right now, it would not be possible. I do not believe you can understand Abby, what it is like to have that taken from you against your will."

She closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair. "I love Tony. I have given him my heart, my trust. But it may be many months or more before I can even think of giving him my body as well." She swallowed hard and admitted the last words in less than a whisper. "Even if sometimes I wish I could."

Abby, who always seemed to have something to say, was lost for words in the face of her friend's anguish. Ziva was right, she couldn't understand what it was like to love her husband but not be able to experience that love in a physical way because of a past trauma. Her heart broke for everything Tony and Ziva had been through and all that they had yet to face. The odds were stacked so high against them, but no partners had ever fought so hard to stay together. That might be just the trait that would eventually lead them to a happier ever after ending.

After awhile, she broke the silence again. "You mentioned your therapist Ziva, have you been seeing someone for a long time?" Goodness knew she needed to talk about things and Abby had a feeling some of the details were so horrendous that Ziva wouldn't want to burden Tony or anyone else she loved with them.

Ziva's eyes flew open, she only realized when Abby said something that she'd let the secret slip. She rubbed her forehead. "I did not want anyone to know, but I suppose that is not important any more." She shrugged. "I began therapy at the end of October."

Abby bit her lip. "Is it helping?"

"Sometimes I am not so sure. I hate talking about the past, about things that hurt, about mistakes and choices that were made and their consequences. But..." she met Abby's eyes again, "I do not dream so often now as I did. I am learning to open up to Tony, and to my family. My doctor, she has helped me to learn a lot in the time I have been going. So I think it is a good thing."

"It is," Abby assured her.

Ziva looked right at her. "I want to be able to share this experience with you Abby. For both of us to be pregnant at the same time is exciting and even though our circumstances are different and you are at the beginning while I am nearing the end, I do not want this to be something that comes between us. We are friends. We cannot change the past. I love my baby but I cannot take back the camp or how she came to be and make her conception different. And you would not want to take back marrying McGee or keeping it a secret or that fact that you are carrying a child born of love. So let us just understand and move on. I do not want anything to get in the way of either of us enjoying the rest of our days while we are pregnant."

Abby blinked back tears and reached up to touch Ziva's hand. "Okay. I'd like if we could just start clean." She let them sit in comfortable silence for several moments and then the conversation changed again.

"Are you sorry you got pregnant so soon after being married?" Ziva asked, seemingly out of the blue.

She chewed on her lip. "I wasn't sure what to think when I found out. I mean, a baby is always supposed to be good news." Abby sighed. "To be honest, I never really thought about being a mom or having kids. McGee and I, we're really good together, by ourselves." She shrugged. "I think it scares me a little, but we're both happy about it and now that I can feel movement...well, there's really nothing I want to change."

The oven timer beeped downstairs and Abby jumped up. "Supper is ready!" She was slightly relieved to escape a conversation that made her think far too much, but she felt better now that she and Ziva had really talked.

Ziva followed at a slower pace, smiling when she saw the smell of food had brought the guys to the kitchen as well. McGee stepped in to help Abby and Tony stood behind his wife, lightly clasping her fingers. They all sat down together for a meal of fried chicken and vegetables with a potato, egg and cheese casserole and spent a relaxing hour hearing more about Abby and McGee's trip and just talking about whatever came to mind.

Afterwards, the guys volunteered to do dishes and Abby and Ziva worked to pack leftovers. Then Abby and McGee took the DiNozzo's on a leisurely tour of their house before meeting back in the livingroom. Abby put in an Andy Griffith DVD as promised and they played Scattegories, Pictionary, and a few rounds of cards before wrapping their evening up. The couples parted with hugs and handshakes and McGee and Abby watched their friends leave.

Abby slid her arm around Tim's waist. "Are they going to be okay?"

He held her close and kissed her hair. "They've got a lot of work to do Abbs, and it's gonna be the hardest thing they've ever done. But yeah, because they love each other like that, they're going to make it and in the end they'll be much more than just okay."

She kissed his cheek. "Will you hold me while we fall asleep?"

McGee closed the door and led her upstairs. "Always Abbs, always."

NCIS

In the middle of the night Ziva woke, plagued by the insomnia of expectant mothers and the threat of dreams that seemed too real. She opened her eyes and smiled at the man sleeping, for once, on his side of the bed. Her husband. How many times had she thought she would never say those words, that someone like her did not deserve joys like a husband and children? Now she would have both.

Slowly Ziva stretched out her hand and rested it on his bare back. She knew he usually wore a shirt to sleep for her sake, but Tony had come to bed fresh from a shower tonight and Ziva hadn't been quite awake. Without her reminder, he must've forgotten. His skin was soft and warm and she found that she did not mind.

Very lightly, Ziva began tracing the muscles in Tony's back - hard and toned - it looked like he'd been working out without telling her. Even though she was only ghosting her fingers over his skin, Tony still stirred. "Zi," he murmured sleepily, "what's wrong?" When she didn't answer, he rolled over to face her, blinking in an attempt to force himself awake.

Ziva smiled shyly. "I am sorry I woke you Tony I just..." she looked a little embarrassed.

Tony focused on her eyes. "What Zi?"

"I wanted to touch you," she finished quietly, not looking at him.

Tony smiled even as his eyes slid closed again and moved as close as he could get with the baby between them, curling his arm around her back. "Don't need to apologize honey, you can touch me whenever you want."

She leaned forward and kissed beside his eyes. "I think it is easier when you are not looking at me."

He nestled down into the pillow and nodded, though she wasn't sure he was completely coherent. "'kay."

With only the darkness to witness her act, Ziva moved her hands to his cheeks, slowly slid them down his neck and over his chest. Her fingers swirled delicately through Tony's chest hair and across each rib. He chuckled. "That tickles."

What a gift it was to have her initiate touch! There was a time when Tony had been sure she would never be able to do that. To have her willingly putting her hands on him now was more than he'd hoped for so soon. Though he was pretending to be asleep, the feel of her soft hands running over his top half was enough to send his thoughts dangerous places. Tony moved back from Ziva a little to hide the evidence of how much she affected him with such a simple touch. Opening one eye, he kissed her nose.

"I could get used to this."

Ziva only smiled and shook her head, her hand reaching for his so she could see his ring. Tony DiNozzo, a married family man. Whoever thought that would happen? She kissed his palm and closed his fingers over the space. Tony smiled without opening his eyes, loving the reminder of her promise.

"Love you Zi, but gotta deal with Gibbs tomorrow. Can't sleep?"

"I do not want to dream," she confided in a low tone.

Tony sighed. "C'mere." He lifted his arm off her enough that Ziva could turn over - a far easier task now with silk pjs. She let Tony snuggle up behind her and hugged his arm across her collarbone, something that she was learning to be okay with because it was Tony and she did not have a reason to be afraid. "I got you Zi," he whispered. "I'll keep them away."

"You will try," she responded practically. "That you want to means just as much."

He breathed in the scent of her hair and relaxed. "Goodnight sweetheart."

Ziva smiled faintly, already feeling sleep reaching for her again. "Laila tov, ahuvi."