My sister is an excellent storyteller, so she'll make up hysterical stories about our favorite Fairy Tail characters. This was one of the crazier ones, so I decided to write it down. And expand it. And now it's even crazier.

For those who don't know, the seventh Jellal is a character from Rave Master(Mashima's other manga), who looks exactly like Jellal.

Rated E, for probable Extreme Out-Of-Characterness.

It was Natsu's fault. Everything is always Natsu's fault. It's a fact, an accepted state of the cosmos. Why does Makarov let him anywhere near the request board?

Natsu, Lucy, and Happy were looking for a job. Crime Sorciere had popped in for a visit, and were currently engaged in antagonizing Jellal about his relationship in Erza. A meteor was due to fall from nowhere any second now.

"Hey, look at this one! What's it say?"

"I don't know Natsu, you should read it!"

"NO!" Lucy yelled, snatching the paper. "Every time you guys read a weird job request, something happens! One time we switched bodies, one time we switched personalities, we got turned into dolls, and one time, ALL OF US BECAME CATS. You aren't allowed to touch it!"

Wendy grabbed it out of Lucy's hand. "Ein en galith lyresa ite fawk-en neith. What does that mean?"

"WENDY!" Lucy, Natsu, and Happy shrieked, as there was a whirling and people started to appear. There were a bunch of little kids and some teenagers, all who were happily smiling. Even worse, they all looked exactly like the people in the room.

Everyone freaked out. The little thems began to freak out too.

"I've got it!" Both Levys shouted. "The spell made our past selves appear!" No one was listening, because chaos was reigning.

The two Grey's were stripping, and the two Juvia's were fighting. Incessantly. "My Grey-sama! My Grey-sama! MY GREY-SAMA! LOVE-RIVAL!" Somehow, Lyon was also there, and was wailing about how Juvia-chan would never love him.

Jet, Droy, Wakaba, and Macao were crying about how handsome their past selves were. Said past selves were hitting on Levy and Mirajane.

Mirajane and past Mirajane were best friends already. Past Elfman and Elfman were yelling about how manly they were. Evergreen was smacking both with a fan. Freed, Bixlow and Laxus were shipping Elfgreen.

Meanwhile, Laxus and the Thunder Legion's past selves were trying to take over the guild, with a lightning storm forming in the distance. The Mirajanes locked them in a closet. Makarov caught the key.

Angel's past self was dramatically draping herself over chairs and sobbing about how she couldn't be an angel. The rest of the Oracion Seis were having a dance party in the corner. Hoteye was supplying the refreshments.

Past Kinana was a snake.

Past Gajeel was groaning about how annoying the fairies were. Both Natsus beat him up, until he caught sight of Pantherlily(whose past self was in Edolas). Both Gajeels proceeded to fight over Lily, while the two Natsu's ran around challenging everyone to a fight.

The two Lucy's were examining each other. Lucy summoned Gemini. So did past Lucy.

This created a problem. Apparently, a hole in the space-time continuum had been ripped open and now Mystogan and his past self had appeared too. Both Gemini's turned into Jellal. Another Jellal appeared, yelling something about an overdrive and Resha Valentine.

They were all wearing the same clothes. Both Erzas fainted. The Mirajanes freaked.

"How do we figure out which one is the real one!? This is a disaster!"

The Lucys were too busy yelling at the Natsus for burning their clothes to do anything about Geminis. Mystogan's past self was eliminated when he looked at the hole, shrieked ANIMA, and jumped through, taking Mystogan with him. It wasn't in time before Sugarboy slipped through, and the Juvias killed him for being a love-rival. It was very bloody.

Past Jellal was eliminated because he was in a corner, shouting about Zeref and cackling. Past Kagura and Millianna tried to kill him. The Erzas got there first and stuffed a piece of strawberry cake in his mouth, defeating him through the Mystical Power of Cake™. He consequently vanished with a villainous "NOOOOOOOOO!"

Juvias took care of the Geminis by throwing Sugarboy into them and snapping them into Lucy form. They killed them for being love rivals.

Now only the real Jellal and the random guy who appeared were left. Meredy asked them what they thought of Erza. The one that didn't respond with a high-pitched "Erza?" was booted from the scene. Unfortunately, past Ultear chose this moment to appear.

As sad piano music started playing in the background(where is that coming from? asked Lucy) and it began to rain(from the Juvias' love-rival tears), the two Meredy's ran in slow motion to cling to her legs, with both crying. Past Ultear suddenly seemed to notice she didn't have a future counterpart, and her expression changed to one of despair. Then past Mirajane and past Elfman caught sight of Lisanna, and they started crying too. The dragons flew overhead, and all the dragonslayers started wailing. Then, Lucy looked at the other Lucy's key ring. There it was- Aquarius's key.

So naturally, Lucy started crying too.

Charle looked over at Happy. He had a mini-keyboard, and was tapping out long, sorrowful notes one at a time, with a completely expressionless face. "...What are you doing?"

"Setting the mood, obviously," Happy replied flatly. "I thought music was required."

Both Gajeels started playing guitar. "YOU'RE RUINING OUR SORROW!" screamed all the mourners, their counterparts, and the dead ones, shooting at max speed over to murder the two in cold blood.

Levy was screaming for everyone to shut up so she could finish figuring out the counterspell, which made all the past selves panic, as they didn't want to disappear. So Levy became the new target, and she tossed her work to Freed, praying he'd be able to finish it before she was destroyed. He grabbed it, and dramatically ran out the guild doors, chased as all of the real people began to try and kill their past selves. It was the battle of legends, the one that would go down in history, the one that was mostly fought through hair-pulling, crying, slow-motion action shots, long speeches, and Mystical Power of Cake™.

It looked like Freed would be decimated and The Last Hope™ would be ended, when an adorable little blue-haired girl stood up.

Past Wendy had arrived. Her eyes were big and sorrowful, filled with tears at the suffering that was being caused. Her mouth turned into a sad and adorable frown, as she began to speak.

"Don't you see all the suffering you're causing with your pointless fighting?" she asked. "We should all be working together, and learning to live in harmo-"

She was cut off as Freed activated the counterspell and the past people disappeared. Everyone who was previously crying began crying again. Crime Sorciere continued their dance party. Laxus was still locked in the closet.

"And this," Lucy said, ending her tirade. "Is why Natsu should never, ever be allowed by the request board ever again!"

"Hey, Lucy?" Natsu asked, holding a flyer. "What does this say?"

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

I laughed my head off while writing this. Both me and my sister hope you do too.

Cobra and Meredy is next, for whoever requested it! Although the chapter may be late, I'm quite busy tomorrow.

Requests are closed for now, until I finish all the ones I've got. But still review! Reviews are good! Sayonara!