When they arrived at Samar's building, Liz followed her into the elevator and up to the eighth floor. Upon entering her apartment, Samar gestured down the hallway. "Bathroom's down there on the right, if you want to clean yourself up a bit. I made dinner when I got back from margaritas. I can heat something up for you if you'd like."

"Ugh, yes please. I'm starving actually. Didn't realize it until just now," Liz replied, grateful.

Samar nodded, heading towards her kitchen. "If you want to take a shower, feel free. There are extra towels in the closet right across from the sink. And I can find you something comfortable to change into," she added as she walked.

Liz shook her head in disbelief at her friend's generosity.

"Samar, you're a saint."

Samar tossed an appreciative smile to Liz over her shoulder before disappearing around the corner.

Liz could hear cupboards opening and closing, appliances beeping. A shower would help a little...maybe.

She found the bathroom easily, closing the door behind her, pulling a clean towel from the linen closet, and stripping off her work clothes along with the day's pain. She tried to forget Red's face, his words that had sliced into her body like an icicle through her gut, as she turned on the water and stepped into the hot spray. She could feel the water and its heat releasing some of the tension in her shoulders, in her head. She tried to empty her mind completely, focusing on the feel of the water on her skin.

After a few minutes, she started grabbing bottles of Samar's bath products to wash herself. She had forgotten to find a washcloth, so she used her hands to scrub the remains of this godawful day from her body. She shampooed her hair so intensely that it took twice as long as usual to rinse out the suds.

She stepped out of the shower feeling slightly refreshed, wrapping the towel around her. A splash of color that hadn't been there before caught her eye by the sink.

She smiled. Samar had left her a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt to change into, which she did quickly, glad she and Samar were about the same size, glad she didn't have to mope about in her slacks and blouse all night, glad for the comforting smell of her friend, glad to be wrapped in soft, warm clothes.

Soft. Warm.

Shit. Those two simple words brought back her thoughts from earlier. Her realization about Red, his lips, his safety. Just...him.

She sucked in a deep breath to fight against the sadness, the panic, forming deep in her chest and hurried out of the bathroom to find Samar.

"Do you have Advil or something? My head is killing me," Liz asked as she rounded the corner.

Samar was still in the kitchen, preparing two plates of delicious-smelling food. She turned to rummage in a drawer and handed Liz a bottle of medicine.

"Thanks," Liz said as Samar quickly filled a glass with water, setting it on the counter in front of her.

"Of course." Samar shrugged, like none of what she'd done tonight was a big deal at all, before moving on to the topic of food. "I made an Iranian stir-fry for dinner – you know, chicken, rice, veggies. I didn't get a chance to eat any before you called-"

Liz almost choked on the pills sliding down her throat. "Shit, I'm sorry."

Samar shot her a look, as if to say 'we've been over this,' and continued. "-but I reheated it and it'll still be just as tasty. So. Eat up!" she offered, taking a seat at the counter in front of one of the plates and taking a hearty bite.

Liz sat next to her at the counter with her glass of water and took a bite. She made a noise of hungry appreciation, and Samar chuckled.

"This is amazing. Thanks. You know, for feeding me. And everything," Liz smiled sadly.

"Well, I assume you would have stayed on that bench all night if I hadn't come to get you," she replied, smirking at Liz.

Liz huffed a short laugh, but frowned slightly at the mention of that bench. Samar was right. She would have stayed there all night. She'd been completely unable to think or move.

They finished eating in silence and when their plates were empty, Samar wordlessly stood up and took their dishes to the sink, rinsing them and placing them in her dishwasher before turning back to Liz, a serious look on her face.

"So."

Liz looked up at her friend. "So."

"Do you want to go to sleep? Watch TV? Talk?" Liz's gaze faltered at that, and Samar quickly continued, "You don't have to tell me anything, I'm just...here if you need me to be. That's all."

Liz glanced at her friend, throwing her a small grateful smile, before looking back down at the counter, staring at the condensation forming underneath her glass of water.

She swallowed heavily, running her finger across the wet glass.

"I told him I loved him. And, uh-" Liz whispered, trailing off, her breath hitching in her throat.

Samar stayed frozen in front of the dishwasher, the counter between them, waiting for Liz to continue, hating the look of pain spreading across her friend's features.

"He said no." She didn't know how else to explain it.

Samar looked confused. "He said no?"

"He was never going to tell me about his feelings. He said telling me was a mistake." She paused, before continuing with more strength in her voice. "I told him I loved him and he responded by telling me that I couldn't possibly love him. That we can never be together because I would never be safe with him. And I fought back, I told him that he is my safety, but he wouldn't listen, he wouldn't fucking listen. He just told me I was wrong, that I'm just desperate-"

Samar cut her off with a sigh. "Fuck."

Liz was silent.

"What the fuck," Samar repeated.

Liz swallowed the tears in her throat. "I never even thought of this as a possibility, Samar. Not once. I thought-" She stopped to take a breath. "I mean, he loves me, I love him. Why would he do this?"

Samar didn't know what to say. She frowned, leaning back against the counter, crossing and uncrossing her ankles. She motioned for Liz to follow her into the living room.

Samar sat down at one end of the couch, lifting her legs up to rest her feet on the edge of the coffee table, crossing them at the ankles. Liz sat down in the middle of the couch, next to Samar, and leaned back, angling herself slightly toward her friend.

Suddenly Liz's phone rang from where she had left it on the counter.

Samar jumped up to retrieve it, and Liz turned, her body on full alert.

When Samar reached the phone, she mumbled under her breath, before holding it up to grab Liz's attention (as if her attention weren't already focused on the woman holding her phone). "Nick's Pizza?"

"It's him," Liz confirmed.

"What do you want to do?" Samar asked.

Liz couldn't speak. She just shook her head back and forth.

Samar's lips turned down in a frown, before she made a quick decision.

She swiped across the touch screen to answer the call. Her voice was cold, emotionless, when she spoke. "Reddington."

Red stayed silent for a moment, surprised to hear someone's voice other than Liz's and even more surprised that his call was answered in the first place.

"Whom am I speaking to?" he finally asked, wanting to make sure.

"This is Agent Navabi." She glanced over at Liz who was watching with curiosity and maybe a little panic at not being in control of the situation.

"Agent Navabi, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Red managed to get out with his usual formal façade.

Samar chuckled humorlessly. "Oh trust me, it's no pleasure of mine." She was still looking at Liz, who could see the anger burning in Samar's eyes. "Do me a favor and avoid contacting Elizabeth for a few days. She especially does not wish to speak with you this evening. Goodbye, Reddington."

Samar ended the call before Red had a chance to respond, placing the phone back on the counter. If Red were a decent human being, he would listen to her request and Liz wouldn't need her phone staring at her as a reminder all night.

Liz smiled genuinely at her friend as Samar walked back to the couch and plopped down in her original spot.

"You didn't have to do that. He's used to being ignored."

"Yeah well, maybe I scared some sense into him," Samar replied.

Liz snorted and leaned into Samar's shoulder. Half-joking, half-serious, she informed her friend, "You can be pretty intimidating."

Samar shrugged nonchalantly, like it was obvious. "I know."

Liz laughed, followed by a beat of comfortable silence. "You really did scare the shit out of me when you first joined the task force," she admitted.

Samar turned her head, a look of bewilderment on her face. "Really, why?" she asked, truly surprised.

Liz thought for a few seconds. "I guess because of your connection to Red. And because you're this… experienced, badass foreign agent."

Suddenly it dawned on her why exactly Samar had intimidated her, and she sat up, a blush creeping across her cheeks, before continuing, clearly embarrassed with her realization. "Oh god. I think I was jealous. You impressed him, and you're right up his alley. Experienced, fearless, confident, sexy. That's why I was intimidated by you."

She paused again, looking at Samar and shaking her head. "Please slap some sense into me. Jesus, that's embarrassing."

Samar snorted. "Well, now you get to use my terrifying persona to your advantage. Seriously, do you want me to kick his ass? Because I will."

Liz shot her an amused look.

"I'm serious," Samar assured her.

Liz grinned. "I don't doubt it. You could totally kick Red's ass."

"Hell yes I could."

Liz sighed and leaned into Samar's shoulder again, resting her head on the couch cushion behind her. "We'll see. I'll let you know if your services are needed."

"Free of charge, of course."

Liz chuckled under her breath and they drifted into silence.

After a few minutes of relaxed introspection for them both, Samar quietly spoke up. "I was glad when he gave me the chance to leave Europe. I was engaged to be married. My fiancé, he-" She broke off. "I was undercover with Mossad. My cover was blown. They killed him before I could get to him."

Liz was frozen against her friend's side.

Samar took a breath and continued. "I think you were right, what you said to me when I first joined the task force. About Reddington only being found if he wants to be found. I think he, with his various connections, had learned of my situation, and he knew that I was looking for him. He let me catch him so he could bring me here. He was trying to help me by getting me out of there. I don't know why he wanted to help me. But he knew that I couldn't be there anymore. It was dangerous. And the memories…just too many memories." She swallowed.

Liz sat up a little and laid her hand on Samar's knee, trying to lend her some small amount of comfort. "Samar... I had no idea."

Samar reached up to catch the few tears that had crossed the barrier of her eyelashes. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to release all the pent-up emotion building in her chest.

"What was his name?" Liz asked quietly, looking at her friend intently.

Samar met her gaze with a wobbly smile. "Farhad."

As soon as she finished speaking his name, Samar's face contorted into a grimace and her body began shaking with silent sobs. She leaned her head into one hand, trying to hide her face.

"Oh, Samar. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," Liz whispered, pulling Samar into her arms and smoothing her curls away from her face.

After a few minutes, Samar's sobs began to subside and she managed to speak. "My point is that Reddington is a good man, Liz. He's being a complete idiot, but it's only because he wants to protect you." She sniffed, swiping the tears from her cheeks again. "We lead dangerous lives. My job is the reason Farhad is dead." Her voice broke, but she forced herself to continue. "Our loved ones are at risk. That's why he's running away. He loves you and that puts you in danger."

Liz kept her arms wrapped around Samar and shushed her. "Let's not talk about me right now, okay?" she suggested gently, resting her chin on Samar's shoulder. "We've talked about me enough."

Samar let out a small laugh through her tears, leaning into her friend's comfort. "See, I told you we'd get to me eventually." She could feel Liz smiling against her shoulder, feel the tiny exhale of laughter escaping Liz's nose.

"True, you did. So how about we continue? Even the score a little?"

Samar breathed a brief laugh. Before she could agree, Liz continued.

"Please tell me you have ice cream so we can do this whole girl talk thing right." Liz tilted her head with a smirk, trying to see Samar's face from her vantage point of chin-on-shoulder.

Samar nodded. "I do actually. Some pints of Ben & Jerry's. Take your pick."

Liz disentangled herself from around Samar's thin body and hopped up, heading straight for the fridge, causing Samar to chuckle while she reached for some tissues on the side table to blow her nose and wipe her face.

Liz returned in seconds, carrying a stack of three ice cream pints.

Samar snorted. "Couldn't choose, I see?"

"Why choose?" Liz replied with a grin.

"Good point."

Liz sat down, pulling one leg onto the couch and tucking it under the other. She leaned forward and set the pints of ice cream on the coffee table, beginning to remove the lids. Samar followed her lead, grabbing the pint closest to her and taking off the lid.

"So, do you like chocolate?" Liz joked.

Samar glanced at the ice cream, forgetting which kinds she had purchased recently, and laughed.

Chocolate Therapy, Half Baked, and Peanut Butter Fudge Core.

"Maybe just a little." Samar smiled.

"I mean, who doesn't?" Liz held out her hand, offering one of the spoons clutched there to Samar. "Do you have a preference?"

Samar thought about it for only a second before snatching up the pint of Chocolate Therapy.

"Sounds about right," Liz snorted, choosing the Peanut Butter Fudge for herself.

Samar chuckled before leaning back into the couch, her entire body relaxing as the first bite of ice cream touched her tongue.

Liz leaned back next to her and they ate quietly for a couple minutes, the silence stretching between them like a serene hammock waiting to be filled with weight.

Liz waited patiently. She wanted to be here for Samar the way Samar had been there for her over the past few weeks. Her reverie was broken as Samar nudged her arm with her pint. Once she had Liz's attention, she held it out, silently asking if she wanted to switch. Liz nodded in understanding, accepting the Chocolate Therapy from Samar's outstretched hand and passing her the Peanut Butter Fudge.

After taking a bite of the new flavor, Samar finally spoke, looking down at the ice cream, fiddling nervously with her spoon. "You weren't the only one who needed a friend."

Liz remained quiet, waiting.

"When I arrived in Washington, I threw myself into the task force because it was all I had. My brother is dead, I haven't spoken to my parents in years...I don't really have any family left. Farhad is gone. I left behind the friends I had in Iran long ago. When I came here, nothing mattered to me anymore." Samar paused to take a deep breath before continuing, a slight tremor in her voice. "I was consumed with hatred for the monsters that killed the people I love, and that hatred was poisoning me. There was no room inside me for anything else."

She swallowed and looked up from her ice cream, meeting Liz's concerned, pained gaze. When she spoke again, her voice was strong, sure. "Reddington saved me by bringing me here. I truly believe that. You and Aram and Ressler and Cooper. You saved me. You all reminded me that the world isn't a completely evil, hopeless, desolate place. That there are other people out there to love. So, really, I'm the one who should be thanking you, Elizabeth."

Liz let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding, her brows furrowed in understanding.

Samar didn't want to hold anything back anymore. This deluge of honesty felt so freeing, so refreshing. "In the airport, when I was shot and infected with the virus? I was trying to protect you by shutting you out, but you insisted on being there with me. On saving my life and comforting me through the pain, even though that meant infecting yourself. Reddington finding the cure was an unlikely miracle, Liz. You faced inevitable death so I wouldn't die alone." Samar shook her head, still in disbelief at the selflessness of Liz's actions that day. "I can't express how much that meant to me. Up to that point you hadn't been the most welcoming, but that moment showed me who you really are. A kind-hearted, selfless, courageous woman who will do anything for the people in her life."

Liz's expression was filled with affection for her friend at the memory of that day, along with a hint of regret at the way she'd treated her before that. "I was horrible to you in the beginning, and I'm so sorry for that."

Samar shook her head. "No, no, it's okay. I understand. You didn't trust me. You had valid reasons not to. Even though your assumptions about my relationship with Reddington were incorrect, I still understand why you were wary."

They stared at each other for a few seconds, searching each other's faces. Samar's mouth turned up in a soft smile and she leaned her head back on the cushion, her eyes remaining fixed on her friend.

Liz answered with a matching smile. When she spoke, her voice wasn't quite as heavy. "Samar, it's been my pleasure saving you. In general and on that day at the airport."

Samar's smile widened slightly and she swallowed the small lump of emotion forming in her throat.

"I'm pretty sure Aram would say the same, by the way," Liz continued, amusement twinkling in her eyes, barely concealed under the surface of her voice.

"You think?" Samar asked, her face flashing with a mixture of skepticism, discomfort, and hope.

"Isn't it obvious?" Liz snorted, surprised by Samar's apparent ignorance. "He's like a flustered little puppy around you. It's adorable."

Samar sighed softly. "I mean, yes. It is obvious. I just... It was easy to pretend that I was imagining things, you know?"

Liz nodded.

"Now that it's been acknowledged by someone else, it's hard to keep pretending," Samar continued.

Liz's expression slowly registered fear and shame. She hadn't even thought about the fact that Samar wouldn't want to talk about Aram, which she now realized she should have after learning about Farhad.

"Oh. Shit, I'm sor-"

Samar saw the crestfallen, fearful look on Liz's face and continued speaking, needing to reassure her friend. "No, no, don't apologize. Don't feel bad for bringing it up. It's not like my denial was healthy."

Liz took advantage of Samar's pause. "I know, but I should've known not to talk about it. I mean, you've been through so much-"

Samar cut her off again. "Liz. I swear it's okay. I'm not upset with you. I was just avoiding it because I don't really know what to do about it."

Liz smiled sadly at her friend, hoping to convey her complete and utter understanding.

Samar set her ice cream on the table and sunk back into the couch limply with a sigh. "Aram is so sweet and so kind and so intelligent... He's handsome in the most perfectly nerdy way, you know?"

Liz laughed, nodding in agreement.

Samar continued. "And you're right, he's like a smitten puppy with me. He's such a pure, innocent man. It's refreshing, really. And it's so cute when he gets flustered." She paused, smiling softly. "That day at the hospital? After we were infected? He was there. Just sitting there, waiting for me to wake up. I was so touched by that gesture, realizing that he so obviously cared about me. So I didn't even think about it – I reached for him and I held his hand, and it felt..." She stopped, remembering how she felt in that moment, closing her eyes tightly and shaking her head, upset with herself for keeping all this locked away, happy to be sharing it with Liz now.

"It felt right."

She opened her eyes and looked into her friend's blue ones. Liz could see the fear, the guilt, clearly emanating from her face.

"I'm just... I don't know. I feel guilty. It's only been a year since I lost-" Her voice broke before she could utter the name of her murdered fiancé. She didn't have the energy left to continue.

Liz simultaneously placed her ice cream back on the table and reached for Samar's hand, needing to be a warm presence for her friend, to reassure her that liking someone new wasn't a bad thing.

"Sweetie...he wouldn't want you to be alone, you know? He wouldn't want you to mourn him forever. Trust me, I understand, but also trust me when I say, I know Farhad would want you to be happy. I don't know what you believe, hell I don't even know what I believe, but if he's up there somewhere, he's looking down here and wanting to know that you're okay, that you're living, that you're not spending the rest of your life missing him. He'll always be in here" - at this, Liz held her fist to Samar's chest, resting it over her heart - "and maybe you'll always miss him. But no one deserves to be alone. No one." She paused to let her words sink in before continuing. "Yeah, if he's up there, and he saw you with someone else, it might sting him a bit-"

Samar was teary-eyed but huffed a laugh. Liz grinned at the absurdity of her own words, and removed her hand from Samar's chest to lightly squeeze her shoulder. "…but he's up there. You're down here. He knows he can't be with you anymore. I promise you he wouldn't want you to be alone."

Samar absorbed her friend's words, allowing them to penetrate her layers of guilt and uncertainty. Her mind was moving a mile a minute, though her body remained completely still. She closed her eyes. "I just don't know if I'm ready," she whispered.

"And that's completely fine. But once you feel ready? There shouldn't be any guilt then, okay? There's no reason for guilt."

Samar met Liz's eyes once again and nodded, attempting to smile while wiping away the stray tear that had slid down her cheek, before staring up at the ceiling quietly.

Liz removed her hand from Samar's shoulder and leaned back into the couch next to her friend, their legs comfortably touching, their joined hands resting in the slight valley between them.

They relaxed next to each other for a minute without speaking, glad to be in each other's presence.

"God, our lives are fucked up, aren't they?"

Liz's sudden, very true, statement made Samar burst out laughing, the joyous sound echoing off the ceiling, surrounding them. Her howls of laughter were of the contagious and uncontainable variety, and within a few seconds, Liz's laughter had joined the euphony of sound.

After several minutes of uncontrollable laughter, they were both gasping for breath. When they were finally able to contain themselves, Samar sighed and gently leaned her head on Liz's shoulder.

Liz spoke up. "I know this is going to sound lame, and we should probably just forget I even said it, but god, it's good to have a friend. I'd almost forgotten what it's like to not have to keep everything trapped inside... To not feel cut off from my own life, not to mention from the entire world. Talking is very, very good." She chuckled, and she could feel the subtle movement of Samar's grin against her shoulder.

"Me too. Absolutely, me too," Samar replied quietly.