Hey, you guys! I know, it's been a bazillion years since I last updated.
Shit happens.
Anyway, I am proud to present you with the next chapter of Tsuki no Jinchuriki, "Dawn of Human Sacrifice..."
Now let's get this show on the road.
"We dwelled in shades of twilight, through dread and weary days, through grief and endless pain..."—Hansi Kursch, vocalist of Blind Guardian
They had left their land a week ago, and were closing in on Konoha; they'd heard of the Chunin Exams, and were heading there.
Why not, they thought...
Why not test themselves against those who were their relative age?
Of course, the nine Jinchuriki didn't realize that those other children had received training vastly inferior to their own...
They were not merely head-and-shoulders above the people that would make up their competition, their opponents might as well have been buried.
The reason they would be able to go was simple and straightforward—they had found a small village to sponsor their presence. Should the nine do well, it would be incredible for their business; if they failed, nothing would really change for the village.
Yokaigakure no Sato, the Village of Those Who Hide in Spirits. The headbands were simple: a sixteen-point star, and inverted crucifixes on either side of said star.
Only their first, non-familial, names were used. Nobody could trace them by those...
"So..." Namoora Raska, one of the two Yokai Jonin sent with them, tried to begin a conversation. He was approximately twenty-five years of age, quite a feat in the world of shinobi... "Would you care to introduce yourselves? I know you've already talked to our Kage, but we know almost nothing about you..."
"How would you like us to do that?" Naruto asked, looking at him quizzically.
"Simple stuff: name, likes, dislikes, goals, hobbies, stuff along that vein."
"Very well then... I am Naruto. I enjoy spending time with my friends, and I train to grow stronger. I despise liars, traitors, criminals, and all who would commit some form of treason... My singular goal in life is to show the world that you don't fuck with fate and get away with it."
Raska seemed puzzled by the part about his goal, but said nothing about it.
The introductions continued, but Gaara ignored it. Fu probably would have, but she seemed to zealously enjoy what she said... "Hi! My name is Fu, and I like killing people!"
The two Jonin gave her wary looks after that.
Raska liked to fish, which he did in any spare time not spent training, and hoped to live long enough that he could retire in old age.
The woman, Shozan Kirage, was a more rational version of Fu; she enjoyed the simple things in life.
The feeling of a kunai in your hand, of burying it hilt-deep into some unlucky bastard's face... She hated perverts with a passion, and her only wish was to die in the one place she could find inner peace: the battlefield.
In a few more days, they were at Konoha...
"I'm gonna pummel you good, you brat..." A young teen, perhaps fourteen or fifteen, said as menacingly as he could. In his left hand was a small boy who couldn't have been more than eight years in age.
"No, Kankuro!"
"Why not, Matsuri? He needs to learn to respect his elders and betters, and pain is one of the greatest teachers I know..."
He rose his right fist to strike the young child, but a thrown rock made him drop the boy in favor of nursing his wounded hand.
"Suna... You don't look so tough to me. Aside from the girl with the fan, you seem pretty worthless... Especially the cross-dresser in makeup." A raven-haired boy said from his perch on a tree.
"It's not makeup, it's war paint!"
"Keep telling yourself that... How many times have you broken into your sister's room to steal some of that 'war paint?'"
The fan-wielding girl smirked. "At least twenty times, probably even more..."
"TEMARI!" The boy shouted.
The small child, now out of the teen's reach, began to laugh at his expense.
Then, suddenly, blue and purple flames leapt up beside red and green ones, revealing two more Genin once they died down.
"Weak..." Kitsune no Naruto spoke with absolute disdain. "All of you... Pathetic."
"Agreed, Saiai... (Beloved)" The girl said.
Naruto looked around at the assembled people.
"Uchiha..." He said, pointing to the boy sitting on the tree branch.
"Civilian..." He pointed to a pink-haired girl, and the one called Matsuri; they were useless, save as bait for a trap...
"Anbu." He pointed to a white-skinned boy with short black hair.
"Sabaku." He looked at Temari and her brother.
"Oto." He turned around, looking past the Uchiha boy.
"Do not cross the teams of Yokai... We will crush you all."
The pair vanished in a second flurry of flames...
"What the fuck?" Was the general thought consensus for the assorted ninja.
"Don't bother gathering at the bottom... Teleport to the third floor's first room, and be done with it."
They did this, and waited. And waited. And then they waited some more... Eventually, more people came into the room.
Among them was a group of nine Konoha shinobi and kunoichi...
An Inuzuka, loud and ridiculous, whose dog sat upon his head.
The "civilian" girl, and a Yamanaka who was almost as pathetic, who fought over the Uchiha boy.
Obviously, the Uchiha was there as well.
The Anbu posing as a Genin, whose creepy semi-smile never seemed to leave his face.
An introverted and emotionally weak Hyuga girl.
An Aburame whose Kikaichu were communicating with Fu's own insects.
A Nara that constantly muttered, "Mendokuse... (Troublesome)" under his breath.
Lastly, an Akimichi who seemingly couldn't run out of things to eat.
An older, silver-haired Genin walked up to them, admonishing them for their noisiness.
And then he asked them if they wanted any information about some of the contestants...
"The Genin from Yokai... Rock Lee of Konoha."
"Since you know Lee's name, we'll start with him... Extensive mission list, two hundred D-rank missions and ten C-rank missions. Genjutsu and Ninjutsu skills are nonexistent, but his Taijutsu is Jonin-level..."
The teen then looked around, finding the people of Yokaigakure, and drew nine cards.
"Oh, I don't think so..." The voice came from all around, and every single card was suddenly annihilated by Naruto.
Naruto unleashed a massive level of Killing Intent (hereafter referred to as KI) that could be felt throughout the entire room; many of the contestants broke out into cold sweats.
"Join the masses in the darkness of despair..." He growled ominously.
As the KI vanished, several smoke bombs went off at the front of the room. "Alright, maggots, sit down and shut up! My name is Morino Ibiki, and I'm your personal Kami until this exam is over!"
"And now, for those of you who are left, I give you the tenth question! There are some additional rules... You may choose not to take the question, drop out, and try again at some point in the future. If you get the question wrong, however..." Ibiki grinned. "You can never take these exams again!"
"But there—"
"I don't give a damn!" The man calmed himself. "Is there anyone who will drop out? Remember, your team fails with you..."
Soon enough, only eighty-one of the contestants were left from the original crowd of two hundred and something.
"For those of you left... You pass!"
Before anyone could object, a ball of tan and purple entered through the wall.
Unfurling, it was revealed to be a woman dressed at the very limits of decency...
Behind her was a banner that told her name.
"Hey, fishies! I'm Mitarashi Anko, proctor for the second exam!"
"Anko... Hokage-sama is going to start docking your pay if you keep that up."
"Well, screw him. Besides, it's the Chunin Exams!"
"Why does that... No. You know what? Never mind. I don't want to know."
And so the Chunin Exams begin! And end. And begin again!
Just what significance will Yokaigakure have on the plot? Why didn't we get to see anything really cool happen? What the fuck is going on?
Find out next time, on the next episode of Dragon Ba— HEY! THIS IS THE WRONG SCRIPT!
See you guys later... Always remember: Sanity is not an option!
—Team Rocket rules.