When we got to my house Randy and I went into the living room and sat down on the sofa. "Don't you have homework and studying to do?" he asked me.

"It can wait," I told him "Right now I want my explanation."

He nodded and said "I feel protective of you Rowan. You're young and a lot more vulnerable than you'll admit. I feel responsible for you and I can't let anything bad happen to you."

"Why do you feel that way?" I asked.

"Trust me you don't want to know."

"Yes I do."

"No you really don't."

"Fine. Continue."

He sighed, then said "I'm not a good guy. I don't do good things and I sure as hell don't walk the straight and narrow. I party when I want to, smoke when I want to, fuck any woman who catches my interest and I'll fight anyone who pisses me off. I'm not good for you and I know it."

"Then why do you hang around me?" I asked.

"Because we're both lonely," he replied "And I thought maybe if I was around someone good, someone who was pure and still had hope, it would rub off on me, but I was wrong. My past, my life is filled with too much darkness and I should have known better then to think that would just go away."

He looked into my eyes and said "I have a dark soul Rowan, I'm a horrible person. I've hurt everyone I've ever loved or cared for. I'm like a disease, I spread to the people I care for and suck the life out of them until there's nothing left. You don't need someone like that in your life."

"Yet here you sit" I whispered.

He laughed bitterly and said "It's because I'm selfish. I know I'm no good and that I'll end up hurting you, yet I can't stay away because I want to be with you."

"You want to be with me?" I whispered.

"Yeah. I know you're scared of me Rowan, so I'm not expecting anything to happen between us. Also I know it's wrong of me to want you when you aren't even 18. I really am fucked up."

"Is that why you kissed me?"

"Yeah."

I sat back, unsure of what to say.

He looked at me and said "I'm sorry for last night. It freaked me out that I started feeling things I thought I'd never feel again. I don't want the past to repeat itself."

"I understand," I told him "But you don't have to worry about that because I don't want a relationship, especially with someone who's a lot older than me and with someone who scares me. I can't afford any distractions and dating you would be a big distraction."

He laughed and said "Can't say I'm surprised to hear that. Fine with me. I'm not strong enough to be in a relationship with someone I can't have sex with."

I bit my lip, trying to ignore the stabbing feeling I had in my heart. He looked at me and said "You really are smart. Other girls would be a crying mess right now."

"I'm not that weak," I told him "Also I can't cry over someone I don't have feelings for."

He laughed again and said "Good to know."

He got up and grabbed his jacket, heading for the door. I followed after him and said "You know that explanation wasn't very good. There are still things you left out."

He turned to me and smirked. "Yeah, well you don't need to know everything Rowan. Just be glad I explained myself at all."

"Whatever you say Randy" I told him.

He ruffled my hair and said "See you around."

With that said he left.

I rolled my eyes and locked the door.

Now I can finally get my head back on straight because I don't have feelings for Randy. I never have and I never will.

Yeah he did leave out a few things, but don't worry, hat he left out will be explained in later chapters.

Think Rowan was being honest about not having any feelings for Randy?

Review and let me know!