"Orochimaru-sama?" a little girl with purplish black hair asked, looking up at her sensei with wide innocent eyes.
"Yes?" Orochimaru asked.
"You know how you're trying to give someone the Shodai Hokage's DNA so they'll better protect Konoha?" Anko asked.
"Yes?" Orochimaru replied, wincing slightly at his student's naivete.
"Why don't you put some of his genetic stuff in the sperm from the sperm bank and make babies with it?" Anko asked.
"That's an incredibly...incredibly...incredibly logical idea and I wonder why I didn't come up with it in the first place." Orochimaru said as a contemplative gleam entered his eyes.
"Of course I'll have to strip all of the original genetic material out first, but...And to think I could've kept all those kids from dying if I'd just..." Orochimaru muttered as he got up and grabbed a notepad in order to put his thoughts in order.
"All what kids?" Anko asked.
"Never you mind." Orochimaru waved her off as he started scribbling down some feasible ideas.
Two Months later:
"I'm pregnant!" Kushina yelled as she entered the home she shared with her husband-to-be.
"I'm going to be a father?!" Minato exclaimed as he threw his book aside and raced towards his fiancee.
"Uh, about that..." Kushina said as her initial enthusiasm over her impulsive participation in Orochimaru's genetic experiment had rapidly faded. The man could sell igloos to the residents of Snow Country if you let him talk long enough.
Eight Months After That:
"Seriously, why are you even married to her?" the masked ninja who had snatched up Orochimaru's genetic experiment asked. "She's a vicious witch with a mean right hook and this brat obviously isn't yours sensei, er, I mean Yondaime-sama."
"Obito?! What the fuck?! I mean seriously, you let me think you were dead for more than a year and then you come and try to kill my step-kid?! My red-headed step-kid. Man am I never going to hear the end of that one..."
Nearly Thirteen Years After That:
Tsunade watched Naruto attempt a jutsu that none of her uncles or cousins had managed to replicate with grim determination, trying to win a bet he had no hope of winning. She found that her heart went out to the boy as she watched him try, fail, and try again. There was something about the boy that reminded her of her favorite uncle who had died during the opening days of the Second Shinobi World War. Perhaps it was that, like her uncle, Naruto would work hard and play hard and brought people together, much like her barely-remembered grandfather had done before them.
Three Years and Change After That:
"I'm a daddy! Again!" a sobbing Edo-Tensei'd Senju Hashirama exclaimed as he held his youngest son who had been born long after he'd died.
"Daddy!" the boy with long red hair who bore a striking resemblance to the man who was clinging to him with tears in his eyes exclaimed with tears in his own eyes.
"What are you both so happy about?" Obito asked. "It's not like he was there for you while you were growing up."
Both Hashirama and his offspring promptly went from happy crying to completely depressed in a second flat.
"Crap, there's two of them..." Madara and Tobirama simultaneously groaned.