Orochimaru resisted the urge to strangle his student. She could be such a child sometimes, and the fact that she was a child was no excuse. She was a shinobi and therefore should've grown up long ago. He'd been grown-up when he was her age, so there was no reason she couldn't be the same.
Not only that, but he couldn't have people looking more closely at his lab because Anko had thought it would be funny to swap sperm samples that had been sent in by the Uchiha for counting in the hopes of divining the cause of their declining numbers out with the control samples for the experimental fertilization process. The sample that Anko had screwed with should've been sitting in cold storage awaiting examination along with the others after the final sample was received as it had been doing for the last several months, but instead it was gone and there would be no way to get an accurate count for the Uchiha who had trusted him to bring results.
Sighing, he went out to inform the victims of Anko's little prank. This would be doubly painful for Jiraiya's little Minato considering exactly who the sample that Anko had swapped out the control sample for had belonged to.
Nine Months and Change Later:
Both Minato and Kushina sobbed as Biwako handed the cleaned up baby to its mother.
"He's beautiful." Minato said sadly.
"Obito should've been here for the birth of his son." Kushina sighed as she stroked one of the black-haired boy's whisker-marked cheeks.
"The birth of my what?!" someone exclaimed from the cave entrance.
Sixteen Years Later:
"What the hell is that boy doing?! I should've been resurrected ages ago!" an exceedingly elderly and exceedingly grumpy Uchiha Madara grumbled in the afterlife.
"Aw, come on Madara, it's going to be fun and we're a player short!" a middle-aged Senju Hashirama said as he tried to drag the wrinkled old man off his rock and onto the playing field.
Meanwhile, in the world of the living:
"Sorry we're late! We were helping this old lady carry her groceries home when a black cat crossed our path forcing us to take the long way around!" a thirty-one year-old man exclaimed as an out-of-breath sixteen year-old who looked virtually identical to him aside from the whisker marks on his cheeks and the red highlights in his hair trailed behind him.
Hatake Kakashi's hands twitched, as if he would dearly love to strangle the man in front of him.
Minato who was holding one of Naruto's numerous half-siblings smiled as he watched his students' antics. Obito and son were late, Kakashi was like his old self, but with the stick removed from his ass, and he had the large family he and Kushina had talked about. Everything was right with the world.