Tony woke at six-thirty Friday morning when Ziva got out of bed to soothe Chaya's fussing noises with her milk and instantly realized what day it was when he caught a glimpse of Ziva's rings. She'd been quiet since their conversation last night and he wanted to make it better. As soon as Chaya was situated, he leaned over and kissed her. She didn't kiss him back, like she was waiting for an explanation.

"Stop," he whispered. "I cherish every second of this Zi, of us. I can handle the desire sweetheart and I promise I won't push you. But I need you more than I want you. Please don't pull away." Her sigh sounded like one of relief and he felt her fingers draw the pattern of letters on the back of his hand that he finally understood. Tony lifted her hand and kissed her wrist, pressing his lips to the place he could feel her pulse. "I love you."

He kept her company while she nursed and bided his time until she fell asleep. Then he slipped out of bed as stealthily as when he didn't want her to know he'd fallen asleep holding her, and took his clothes into the hall to dress without making noise. A glance at his watch showed an hour and a half until Chaya was hungry again and Ziva wondered where he was. Setting the timer on his watch just in case, Tony grabbed his wallet and keys and drove to get coffee first. He was on a very important mission.

NCIS

Despite his best intentions, it was almost nine-thirty when Tony finally made it home. In his arms he juggled several items including a tea for Ziva, hoping she would buy it as an excuse for him to have left. He was very surprised then when he got upstairs to find Ziva and Chaya both still asleep. The baby started to stir when he entered the room and Tony knelt by the bassinet and stroked her cheek.

"Hi princess." He picked her up and walked over to find the bag holding her present. Tony sat on the end of the bed and pulled out both items. "For being one week old you get a new book, The Balloon Tree, and a movie. It's called Tangled. I think Mommy will like it too."

"Tony?" Ziva pushed herself up, rubbing her eyes and glanced at the clock. Her mouth formed an 'O'. "She slept for two and a half hours," she said softly, then her gaze fell on the bags and the wrapped bouquet of yellow and white daffodils.

He chuckled and looked down at Chaya. "I think Mommy forgot what day it is princess. I wonder if she'll guess." Ziva frowned and shook her head. Tony grinned. "Today's the fourth Zi."

Her eyes widened and she blinked back tears. "We have been married for a month?"

"Yup," he said triumphantly, "and for that you definitely deserve flowers and tea and, oh yeah, a present."

Feeling overwhelmed, Ziva touched the flowers and breathed in the steam from her tea. "A present?"

Tony smiled. "I wasn't really sure what to get you, but I loved the way this looked." He handed her a flat package covered in brown paper. Ziva tore it open to reveal a framed picture of a beautiful day where is appeared to be raining cherry blossoms. Tony explained.

"A few years ago there was a huge windstorm at the festival and it blew all the blossoms off. Good thing there were tourists with cameras." He shrugged. "I figure you can't live in DC and not have something about the cherry blossoms."

Ziva hugged him gently, mindful of the baby in his arms. "Thank you Tony, it is beautiful."

He grinned. "Happy One Month Anniversary sweetheart."

Chaya, smelling Mommy, started crying and Ziva lifted her out of Tony's hold. "Hello sweet girl, are you growing up on us already? Two and a half hours was a nice surprise." The baby, only interested in food right now, squirmed and cried and Ziva pulled open her pyjama shirt. "You do not have very much patience tatelah, Mommy knows you are hungry."

Sucking like she was starving, Chaya put all her focus on her meal, one little hand kneading Ziva's breast as she nursed. Ziva kissed her daughter's fist. "Ani ohev atach," she whispered.

When it was clear that Chaya was going to spend longer than normal eating, Tony got Ziva's brush from the bathroom and slowly tamed the wild waves before braiding her hair to keep it out of her face. She smile her thanks and when Chaya finally finished, handed over the baby for burping and diaper change. Not that Ziva had any problem being the one to get her daughter a clean diaper, but Tony insisted that while he was home it was a Daddy job, so she didn't argue.

Both parents went back to bed after that and enjoyed the one hundred and fifty minutes of uninterrupted rest. In fact, they slept for two more of their daughter's naps with only brief moments of grabbing something to eat before they finally got up in the early afternoon.

Between the long showers both took, doing dishes and Ziva's insistnece that the floor be swept and mopped, they'd used up most of their energy and ended up falling asleep on the couch for the last hour of Chaya's nap. It was only her disgruntled cries that roused them and even then both Tony and Ziva wondered if they would ever truly feel rested again. The constant weariness made it hard to think of anything but sleeping and baby needs.

They got to spend some time holding her and talking nonsense and playing with fingers and toes before the baby grew sleepy again. Ziva had just returned from putting her down when there was a knock on the door and she changed directions to answer it. "Gibbs," she said in surprise, having not expected him of all people. Ziva glanced down at her pyjamas and felt embarrassed.

"Ziver." He walked in when she stood back and nodded at Tony, sprawled on the couch in plaid pj pants and an OSU t-shirt.

Tony blinked as if he wasn't sure he was seeing properly. "Uh, hi Boss."

No one was sure how to ask and Gibbs finally took a seat and waved towards the door. "Get out of here. Go for a walk or something, I'll stay with my granddaughter."

Tony and Ziva exchanged glances and Tony cleared his throat. "That's nice of you Boss, really, but-" Gibbs' glare cut off whatever he was about to say.

"It's been a month and you haven't had any time alone yet. Take it now."

Realizing what he was doing, Ziva closed her eyes for a moment before kissing his cheek. "Thank you."

She practically dragged Tony upstairs and pushed him towards the other bathroom with a change of clothes. Having not worn anything but pjs in what felt like forever, not including Wednesday afternoon, Ziva dug through her boxes looking for something that would boost her confidence. The real boost came when the five month pants she tried on were too big and she cautiously found a pair of her old cargo pants.

When they fit she was in mild shock and stood on the scale in the bathroom, finding herself back to the weight she was in December, before she got the news that she was pregnant. Knowing that it was below what her pre-Somalia weight had been, Ziva could imagine that Mandy would be concerned, but she hadn't even tried to lose anything, it had just come off.

Biting her lip, Ziva resolved not to worry about it. She loved getting to pull on one of her non-maternity long sleeved shirts and enjoyed Tony's reaction when she finally came out of the bedroom. "Wow," he said, taking a good look. "There's a flashback." He raised an eyebrow. "No more maternity clothes?"

Ziva shrugged. "I guess breastfeeding is good for more than just Chaya."

Tony threaded his fingers through hers and they walked downstairs. "I've got my cell phone Boss, if you need us."

"She may sleep right until seven, but we will be back by then. There is a blanket under my pillow that might help if she gets fussy before then."

Gibbs shook his head. "Out. I can handle a newborn."

Ziva's confidence in his abilities didn't seem high, but she nodded. "Alright. Goodbye."

They stepped outside and Ziva blinked at the sunshine. They wandered quietly out of the neighbourhood and found a hotdog vendor sitting on a corner. "Dinner m'lady?" Tony asked, sweeping his arm towards the cart.

She nodded. "Ken. Toda." Yes. Thank you.

He grinned. "Al lo davar." You're welcome. Ziva made a mental note to keep testing his knowledge of Hebrew. She wondered how much he really knew.

Tony and Ziva each ordered two hotdogs. Tony smothered his in every condiment available, while Ziva went simpler with just ketchup. A bench nearby became their table and resting place and they laughed when Ziva got a daub of ketchup on her nose. Tony got it with a napkin and pushed back the strands of hair escaping from her braid.

"I feel like we are on a date," Ziva commented.

"We are," Tony confirmed. "The first one was an example of fancy, this one is our uber casual version."

She laughed. "I will take it."

They threw away their napkins and Tony caught her hand again. "Walk with me?"

Ziva kissed him. "Of course."

They found a park to wander through, well aware that their time was running short. Stopping at the playground down the street from their house, Tony pushed Ziva on the swings until sunset began to colour the sky. He sighed. "Time to go."

Their fingers were linked as they returned home. Ziva was thoughtful. "I have enjoyed this time with you."

Tony squeezed her hand. "Me too." He studied her. "You're thinking about Chaya."

She looked at him. "She is never far from my mind. It is strange to be further away than arm's reach."

"We need time just for us sometimes Zi, it doesn't mean we love her less."

Ziva smiled. "You sound very wise."

"Much to learn you still have," Tony intoned in his best Yoda voice.

When they reached the front porch, Ziva faced her husband and slid her arms around his neck for a hug. Tony embraced her carefully but firmly, needing the closeness. A thought ran through his mind and he frowned, wondering if he'd truly hugged her at all in the last week.

"I haven't been able to hold you like this since you found out about Chaya."

Ziva nodded. "It is nice. I have missed you this way."

While Tony agreed and enjoyed the intimacy of having her flush against his body, it also wasn't doing much for his self-control. He pulled back and kissed her cheek. "I love you Zi, thanks for this."

Ziva, in flats for the walk, stood up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. Tony got in the spirit of an intense kiss, cradling her head in his hands while hers rested over his heart. She ended it and smiled. "Happy One Month ahuvati. My love. Thank you for giving us this chance."

He hugged her once more and they walked inside. Gibbs sat on the couch holding a wide awake Chaya with her Mommy scented blanket over his shoulder, shaking a small rattle. Ziva smiled. "Well, it seems as if you have playing grandpa figured out."

He shrugged and stood, transferring the baby into her arms. "Blanket helped."

Ziva brushed her finger over Chaya's cheek and Tony kissed her head. "Did you have fun with Grampa Gibbs princess?" He looked at his boss. "How long's she been up?"

Gibbs divested himself of baby things. "Ten minutes. Not a peep before then. Nice walk?"

Ziva nodded. "Thank you for that gift of time." She turned to Tony. "I will go get her ready to nurse. You can read us a story."

Tony felt a little embarrassed that she'd said it in front of Gibbs, but the older man only looked interested. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Kelly's favourite was If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."

"I like the idea of bedtime stories, to have something that's ours for her childhood."

"Don't rush it," Gibbs advised. He glanced up the stairs. "How's Ziva?"

Tony shrugged, mirroring Gibbs' stance. "She's sick of being in bed. I think she's starting to feel claustrophobic from being cooped up in the house since she got out of the hospital and for a couple weeks before that." He sighed. "She loved being outside just now but she still gets tired pretty easily."

"She's got a lot to come back from," Gibbs pointed out, an echo of Mandy's words. "You know Ziva better than that doctor. If she needs to get out, go. Take an hour, then convince her to nap when Chaya does. If it helps, lay down with her so she doesn't feel weak. It's going to get easier but her body needs to heal."

Having expected Gibbs to leave with as few words as he came, Tony was surprised but thankful for the wisdom. "Thank you Dr. Oz," he joked, his smile dropping at Gibbs' glare. "Appreciate the recommendations Boss. Good talk."

Gibbs scowled and left before more could be said. Tony looked after him then locked the door and took the stairs two at a time to the nursery. He picked up the book he'd purchased that morning and opened to the first page. "Long, long ago and far away across a wide ocean there was a small, happy kingdom. In a big castle on top of the highest hill lived the King and his daughter, Princess Chaya." Ziva thought it was cute that Tony changed the name of every princess in every story to reflect his daughter.

It didn't surprise Tony when Ziva decided to lay down after Chaya was asleep, shortly before supper. He kissed them both, made a round of the house to check for locked doors and windows and quietly got ready for bed. He slipped into bed beside Ziva but moved back to watch her instead of snuggle.

Alone in the darkness with more sleep deprivation than logic guiding his thoughts, Tony mused about how strange it was to always be sleeping alongside his wife but to have never slept with her. Technically their relationship with only seven weeks old, even if they had unofficially been together for months before that. But still, it was his longest relationship ever to not include sex.

He knew they had a mountain of issues to work through, that Ziva needed more time to heal physically and emotionally. Getting married didn't immediately erase the effects of being raped repeatedly over several weeks. And even though Tony couldn't think of it without horror, what his sweet wife had gone through, that knowledge didn't stop him from wanting to experience making love to her. He felt like a jerk for even thinking it because Ziva needed his patience, not his desire. Even so, it was impossible to help. He was, after all, a guy and programed to want the physical stuff.

With a sigh Tony relaxed into his pillow and closed his eyes. This was only going to get harder as Ziva returned to normal and more weeks passed, but he still firmly believed that she was worth whatever sacrifices he had to make so that she could put Somalia behind her and finally be free.

NCIS

Saturday's highlight was putting Chaya down to nap in her carseat, snapping it into the stroller and taking their first family walk out in the fresh air and bright May sunshine. It wasn't a long walk, just around the neighbourhood with a quick stop to watch kids playing in the park and think about when their daughter would be counted among them.

Doing their first load of baby laundry was as productive as the couple managed to be and both Ziva and Tony were amazed that someone so little could soil so many clothes. Other than occasionally remembering to eat, the new parents spent most of the day sleeping when Chaya did.

When Tony opened his eyes at three in the morning, he knew he should be sleeping while he could. But moonlight streamed in through the curtains they'd forgotten to close and fell on Ziva's sleeping form. He lifted one of her ringlets and rolled it gently around his finger. Her hair had gotten even curlier since she gave birth. It annoyed Ziva to no end, but Tony loved how she looked now, surrounded by a halo of light and soft curls.

Smiling in a way that was part sleep deprivation and part utter contentment, Tony watched his wife sleep. His wife. Those words still caused a grin he couldn't contain and he used them as often as possible, even after a month. Ziva was so beautiful when she slept, peace softening her features, her quiet breathing his lullaby. The snoring he'd teased her about years ago was no longer present, and Tony could only wonder if it had something to do with her time in Africa. But she hadn't said and some things he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Somalia made him think of the scars and Tony slid his hand under Ziva's t-shirt, fingers lightly tracing the marks still etched into her skin, the freedom to do that now incredibly precious. He slid a bit closer to her, propping his head up on one hand while he again explored her back and wondered for the thousandth time if the scars or her nightmares would ever fade away completely.

Not that he cared. Tony didn't think the proof of what Ziva had survived took away even a little from her beauty and attractiveness. He had loved her scars ever since she'd first let him see them all and he'd kissed them better, for both their sakes. But for Ziva, Tony wished that she would not always have a reminder of the pain she'd suffered over days and weeks and months. He wanted her to feel confident about her body again, to see herself as beautiful through her own eyes and not just his.

Ziva's breathing changed and she didn't move or open her eyes, but just murmured, "That tickles."

Tony looked down and realized he'd been skating his fingers lightly up and down her ribs. "Oh," he said, removing his hand from her shirt, "sorry."

Ziva reached back and put his hand on her bare skin again. "I did not say it was not a nice feeling."

Grinning, Tony happily obliged, kneading slow circles into her lower back. Ziva settled even further into the mattress, her sigh almost a purr of enjoyment. Finally she opened one eye to look at him.

"You should be sleeping Tony, she will be awake soon."

He scooted over to press his body into hers and kissed her cheek. "This was more important."

Ziva frowned even as she snuggled into his chest. "Spying on me while I am asleep?"

"No." Tony had never been more serious. "Making sure I didn't miss a thing."

Her eyes slid closed again and she wove her fingers with his. "If you make me cry you will be sleeping on your side of the bed."

He tightened his arm around her waist, then remembered her body might still be sore from giving birth. "Can't have that."

Leaning back, Ziva touched her lips to his. "Go to sleep ahava, or you will miss the chance to get Chaya when she cries."

"Oh," amusement coloured his tone, "so now I'm getting her up? I thought it was your turn."

Ziva sighed. "I am too comfortable to move. She will have to nurse laying down this time."

"Sleep Zi," Tony laid his head on the pillow, blowing a piece of her hair away from his nose, "you need it more than me."

Ziva traced her finger over the back of his hand and Tony lifted her hand to kiss her palm. The pattern was familiar now and it meant almost as much as hearing the words out loud. With a smile, Tony closed his eyes and let sleep return. These moments were the best of everything.

NCIS

It turned out to be a good thing they had slept so much during the day because early on Sunday morning, the baby broke her two and a half hour sleeping streak and began feeding every hour and a half, even more than she had during her first week of life. By ten in the morning Ziva was exhausted, having just fed Chaya for the fourth time in seven hours. Tony groaned and buried his face in the pillow.

"What's going on with her?"

"It is probably a growth squirt, the book said increased feedings could last as long as a week." Ziva felt like crying just thinking about it.

Tony was too tired to correct her mistake, but he rolled over and rubbed her back. "I wish I could help Zi."

"You would need to grow breasts," she said grumpily and then sighed. "Sorry, I am just tired."

He kissed behind her ear. "You're allowed. No apology necessary, I know."

Sunday was a blur of feeding and changing and crying and trying to grab scraps of sleep here and there. They were more short tempered with each other than usual, but they still curled up together in bed that night, seeking the comfort they always found when they were together.

It was two very weary parents who came together late Monday afternoon on the couch for half an hour of time when they weren't holding a baby or desperately trying to store up sleep. The TV was on but Tony wasn't paying attention and Ziva realized how quiet he had been all day. Pushing aside her own fatigue, she curled up against his side and brushed her fingers through his hair.

"What is wrong?"

He seemed startled to hear her voice. "Huh?"

"You have been off today. Will you tell me what you are thinking?"

Tony dragged a hand over his face. "It's been six years."

She frowned. "Since what?" He turned distressed eyes to her and Ziva remembered they had been partners for six years. "Kate," she whispered. It was so easy to forget about the woman, Tony's former partner, when they had never met. But her husband was in pain and Ari had caused it. Ziva couldn't help but feel a little responsible. "I am sorry."

Tony's expression held no blame, only sadness. "She was my friend."

Ziva shifted to sit sideways on Tony's lap and put her arms around him, her head on his shoulder. "Tell me."

He locked his hands tightly around her waist. "What do you mean?"

Her hand caressed his face and she made him look at her. "You cared for her. She was important to your life. Tell me about Kate."

The first words out of his mouth she didn't expect and Ziva tensed. "I watched her die." His voice was tortured. Ziva bit her lip and waited for him to continue.

"We were just standing on the rooftop, laughing at the false alarm - a bullet she'd taken in the vest. Kate," he choked on her name and closed his eyes, lost to the present, "she was saying how she thought she'd be dead before she heard Gibbs say 'good work' and before she even finished her sentence, we heard the bullet and she fell."

Tony buried his face in Ziva's hair. "Kate's blood sprayed on my face and I couldn't move. She was gone, just like that, and I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"Oh my poor man," Ziva whispered into his neck, trailing her fingers over Tony's skin.

He shook his head. "I used a water bottle from the car and Gibbs' handkerchief to get the blood off and I scrubbed my face raw back at the office. Later the rain washed away any that remained, but I felt it for weeks and every morning when I woke up I was afraid it was still there."

Ziva didn't know what to say. She wanted to apologize again, but he didn't hold her responsible for her brother's actions. So she just held him, murmuring comfort and rubbing his back. When she started dropping little kisses on his neck, Tony pulled her face up and kissed her hard. Ziva responded, letting him take what he needed, only pushing back when she couldn't handle any more. She kissed him lightly and stood up, holding out her hands.

"Come to bed my love," Ziva urged him. "I cannot be what you need yet, but I will not let go." He didn't move and she let out a breath. "I am so sorry for your loss. I wish it had not-"

Tony shook his head, cutting off the rest. "You are everything I need Ziva." And with those words, somehow she felt forgiven.

NCIS

A few naps later Ziva lay in bed, alternating between letting her eyes rest and watching Tony attempt Chaya's sponge bath by himself. Not because she didn't want to help, but she sought to comfort her husband by letting him be a father. After all, what was more reassuring than knowing you are capable of taking care of your child?

Tony drew the cloth over Chaya's skin, making silly faces at her and talking in a low voice. "What a good girl princess, letting Daddy do your bath. There's one eye, two eyes, a little nose and that cute mouth. I need to lift up your chin honey, gotta make sure we get all that spilled milk. Uh huh, then behind your ears because mommies are always saying that's important. And your tummy next, that's right."

He leaned down and put his lips to her belly, blowing hard. It made a loud noise and Chaya squirmed, her dark eyes watching Tony's every movement. "Let me see that arm Miss Chaya, now the other one. Gotta do your legs too. I know it's a little cold baby girl, Daddy will fix that in a minute." Rolling her over onto his arm, he washed her back and laid her down.

Tony dropped the cloth back in the water and patted her dry. Wrapping the wiggly baby snugly in her hooded bunny towel, he tucked her into the crook of his arm like a football and held her head over the tub. With a mug he poured water over her hair, used one hand to flip open the top of the baby shampoo and squeeze some on her head, then lathered it up.

Rinsing it off, Tony rubbed his nose on Chaya's. "You know, I do the same thing for Mommy sometimes. I bet your hair is going to be just as beautiful as hers." He snuck a look to see if Ziva was watching and she gave him a soft smile. Gently rubbing her hair dry, he held up the sleeper for her inspection. "I think it's lollipops princess, but it might be flowers. What do you say?" Since Chaya didn't cry, he took that as a yes. "Lollipops it is kiddo. I knew you were gonna have my sweet tooth, and your teeth aren't even in yet."

Once Chaya was snapped into her pjs, he held her up to his face, his hands protecting her neck. "You may just be the best medicine I could've gotten today." He kissed her. "I love you sweetie." Tony's eyes found Ziva's and she had to blink back tears.

"I never love you more than when I am watching you be her father."

Tony returned the baby to her bassinet and crawled in behind Ziva. "Thank you," he whispered, kissing her. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Me either. So it is a good thing we do not have to worry about that, yes?"

Tony smiled. "Yes, a very good thing. I love you Zi."

She pulled his arm around her. "Ani ohevet otcha."

Sleep did not last long, but every time Chaya cried or fussed for the rest of that long night, Tony simply decided to be grateful for his family. They so easily could not have had this chance and he wasn't willing to take even the less than enjoyable parts for granted. Ziva and Chaya meant everything to him and he wanted them to know that truth with every breath.