Ordinary World
Pt. 8 Eyes Wide Shut
39/MA

Listen to: Blessthefall - With Eyes Wide Shut
AN: For Kirathaune's birthday. Your wish my dear! 39 and licking!!

I know I'm not there to hold you
Look up see the sky that I do
You make me the happiest of men
I am the happiest of men

And if god takes me before you
I just want you to know I love you
And you made me the strongest of all men
I'll remain the happiest of men

(The happiest, the happiest, the happiest of men)

You made me the happiest of men
I'll remain the happiest of men

I miss you
Baby close your eyes
Let's meet
In our dreams tonight

***

If I had to watch the two of them suck face again I was sure I was gonna lose my lunch. At the very least they'd each have a new hole in their heads to drink through. Gritting my teeth I glanced off into the park's dusky forest edging, my fingers drumming out my frustrations on the course grain of the picnic table. Jein and Yaone glanced back and forth nervously. Lirin giggled inanely and popped another meat bun in her mouth--number seven. Hakkai finally pulled away long enough to realize they were oddly mismatched at the table and frowned, batting Gojyo's hands away long enough to physically tick off their numbers on his milk white fingers.

"We seem to be one short today Sanzo, will Goku be joining us later for desert?" the brunette asked politely, if a bit distractedly as Gojyo's hands slunk under the tabletop, Hakkai's shuddered breath telling the entire table where they'd disappeared to.

"I told you have wasn't coming today." I bit out angrily around the tail end of my cigarette. Of course he wasn't coming, he hadn't been home in a week, why did they think he'd show up for a stupid bar-b-que with the in-laws?!

"What, he finally get tired of your tight ass dictating the rules, Sanzo-sama~?" Gojyo leered over Lirin's bouncing copper pig-tails. The kid was three, how the hell did she eat so much?

Glaring wasn't getting the point across and there was no way in hell I was going to explain what happened to that shit-head. I figured the quickest way to change the subject was a shiny barrel and soft click between his eyes. Apparently I was right.

***

Jein coughed awkwardly and reached for the plate, "Chicken anyone?"

Sanzo huffed, chin in hand and stared out into the green. Eventually they'd figure out he hadn't wanted to come at all and leave him alone.

Gojyo tossed a biscuit at his head twice before he pulled himself from the table and wandered off towards the lake on the other side of the small fringe of woods bordering the park. He could hear Hakkai admonishing the red-head as he walked off; at least Hakkai was still on his side.

Man, he really was losing it if he needed those idiots to make him feel better.

***

The dappled light of the trees shaded his skin in intermittent creams and golds as he paced further into the foliage, sandals kicking up small dust clouds and dandelion tufts into the crisp spring air as he walked in a shuffling gait that belied his normally graceful nature; there just wasn't a reason to be graceful by himself.

Tapping out one of his Marlboros into his palm he shuffled though the various pockets on his cargo pants until he fished out his lighter. A flick of his wrist had the filter snapping and crinkling as the fire struck and flared into life at the end; the orange hiss as he sucked in that first deliciously painful hit of nicotine soothing his battered soul better than anything else he could think of.

Almost anything that was. Dropping onto a nearby bench he draped himself across its faded green back and closed his eyes. Arms out to either side, his reclined head lolling to the side as he let gravity pull the soft blond fringe of hair from closed eyes and contemplated becoming a monk in some country he'd never heard of before. Maybe Tibet. They had lots of monks and okay, China wasn't exactly known for its generous disposition of native religions, but hey, it had to be better than waiting for the call that never came. For the clothes to magically reappear in the dresser drawers or the food to have mysteriously disappeared from the refrigerator each time he checked.

He scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand. Breaking up sucked.

He chuckled darkly to himself, well duh, like he needed a freaking PhD in Philosophy to figure that out. He chuckled again as the voice in his head turned slightly petulant; great, now he was starting to sound like him too.

He wasn't one to think about regrets. Hell, he rarely thought about his past to even consider having the damn things, but today seemed to be a day full of dark whispers in his mind. They wound around his gut like thin, curling vines, their leaves sharply edged with misgivings and hurtful words. It was his fault, he knew that. He'd overreacted to Goku's friendship with their Accountant Nataku and yeah, he'd been too proud to admit the idea of Goku growing away from him scared the shit out of him.

He also knew he was a terrible liar and had the shortest temper of any of them. He'd said something retarded and he'd lost the only person that'd stuck with him through everything. Through his father's death three winters back, to his move back from Toronto to the city, to his new job with the Tenkai Corporation in India. They'd been through a shit load of crap that seemed meaningless now.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes with his hand and took a drag of his cigarette, peering up at the sky between long fingers and burning filter paper.

He shouldn't have told him to get out.

***

Goku sat twisting the paper straw wrapper back and forth in his fingers until he'd created a nice little line of knots. Sighing for the umpteenth time in as many minutes he slouched down in his chair and stared at the café ceiling.

"If you're that upset go back." A soft voice stated from across the small painted table.

Goku cracked an eye at his friend, Nataku's platinum blond hair and silvery-blue eyes sparkled in the afternoon sun flitting in from the row of open windows behind him, illuminating the smaller man like a rose window.

"Nah, I'm fine."

"You're not fine. You miss him and for some reason you're being too stubborn to admit it."

"Yeah well, Sanzo totally crossed the line this time. He deserves this." Goku pouted petulantly, straw clasped tightly between his teeth, the dip and wave as he spoke around it catching Nataku's eye.

Goku was splayed out over the rough hewn wooden chair, its faded and chipped garden hose green sliding into the background as he looked the other over carefully. Goku's unruly golden mop of hair was sticking out everywhere, though in his current head back pose the long bangs were free to fall back out of his copper eyes. His tanned skin shown like burnish bronze in the dabbled light, the thick cords of well developed muscles accentuated by rolled shirt sleeves and the shredded ends of his knee-length denim shorts. His high tops were brightly colored in orange and red and his socks, once pristine white, had at least seen the inside of a Laundromat sometime this month, which was an improvement at least.

"You're lying to yourself if you think this is about me. This is about you and him and the way I see it, you're just running away from the problem." Nataku sagely commented his eyes clear and bright as he dabbed the last bit of mayo from the corner of his mouth, smiling serenely at the scowl Goku shot him over his Coke.

Goku grumbled something around the rise of bubbles as he blew agitatedly into his drink, his feet and elbows coming down hard as he fell forward onto the table in a graceful slump.

Nataku just smiled and pushed the invite across the table, his hand raised in beckoning to the waitress working the floor.

Goku roughly stuffed the scrap of paper into his pocket before the girl reached them.

Bryant Park, huh? Well, he could hit Book Off for some new manga if this went sour at least.

Nataku wasn't surprised to see Goku leave before the tab was settled.

***

Sanzo tossed another spent butt into the trash receptacle by the bench, his empty pack crushed loosely in his left fist. There was no reason to stay out here without smokes when he could be home pulling on the spare packet he had sitting on the kitchen counter and yet he couldn't force himself to get up and walk over the subway. He didn't even care to hit the library on the other side of the park; too much trouble to move out of the warm patch of light gently caressing his arms and face.

Tipping his head back he closed his eyes and let the light breeze tug at the ends of his hair. A few minutes more couldn't hurt anything.

***

Hakkai glanced up and smiled softly, his head rolling to the side with a small, knowing look washing over his green eyes as he ambled over to the table. Gojyo slapped him soundly of the back, a broad grin plastered across his features as he pressed a soda and a beer into his chest.

"Dude, don't hold out on him anymore. I don't think he'll leave the safety on if you do."

Gou grinned a little brighter as he stumbled away.

***

The soft pad of feet behind him told him volumes about the interloper. He cracked an eye and sighed as Goku's swimmy, upside-down form appeared before him. "What do you want?" he croaked.

Goku chewed the inside of his lip and held out the green-glassed Stellas, their slick surfaces dewed with dripping condensation, "We gotta talk." He muttered under his breath.

Sanzo slumped forward, hair in his eyes, as Goku rounded the bench. Violet eyes peered up at him through golden blond fringe, "Then talk."

Goku took a steadying breath. He wasn't sure if he was pissed or afraid to be here, sitting inches apart from the man who'd dominated his life for so long. Scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly he tipped his beer back and sipped at the fizzy liquid.

"You really pissed me off, you know?" he breathed out roughly. "It wasn't what you said, but that you didn't trust me. I mean, it kinda felt nice, knowing you got jealous and all, but thinking that I'd actually mess around with someone else…I just don't get you sometimes Sanzo." He huffed, great golden eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

Sanzo gulped the cold drink, grateful for a moment to think things through, Goku wasn't sleeping with the kid then, well that was good, but he'd read the whole situation way wrong. Shit.

"The kid…"

"Nataku." Goku corrected automatically.

"You're really not…"

"Nope."

"And I…ah fuck. I am not apologizing." He glared at the younger man balefully.

"I'm not expecting you too. I never would. But not once have I ever thought you were cheating on me when you went to India for work. Not even when that weirdo Hazel goes with you. I just want you to treat me the same way, Sanzo. Can't you trust me just a bit more?"

Turning his head he caught Sanzo's eyes with his own, the aching tenderness and love he felt towards the man glaringly obvious on his features.

Sanzo broke.

Surging forward he smashed their mouths together in a bruising kiss, his tongue flicking out to rim the edge of Goku's startled lips, licking at his teeth until they parted with a moan under the onslaught. Goku fell backwards onto the bench, his arms thrown around Sanzo's chest as he gave back as much as he got, his lover's black shirt bunching under his fists.

Sanzo pushed between his legs, nudging them apart with a denim clad knee until he was as close as skin, his breath warm and moist against Goku's throat, the puffs of air shivering across the honeyed expanse of skin he found there.

"You're coming home." He murmured into the hollow; teeth lightly grazing across the bobbing Adam's apple.

Goku nodded absently as he hooked his legs around Sanzo's waist, thrusting lightly against his hips as Sanzo licked along his collarbone, his tongue dampening the lip of his shirt. He could feel Sanzo's hand, icy cold, reach between their bodies, the pads of his fingers rough on his stomach, causing the muscles to tense and roll under the stroking touch. The coil of arousal was already tight and vibrating when he heard a loud cough from behind him.

Glancing up through Copper-gold bangs he smiled sheepishly at the tapping foot of the police officer, the angry glare a mirror to Sanzo's own. He giggled nervously as Sanzo pushed off of him, dragging Goku to his feet and pulling him to his side roughly as Sanzo spit out acidly at the cop before stomping away, "What?! Never seen someone apologize before?"

Goku grinned furiously at the soft red tinge coloring the blonde's cheeks as he was pulled off towards the Subway.

***

Goku was pleased to announce he'd moved home at the next picnic.

~Fin.