Lessons of Love
Chapter 18 An Unexpected Gift
Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.
Notes: Sorry for the delay and many many thanks for reading!... After uploading this chapter, I noticed FF is acting goofy, deleating punctuation and running words together. Sorry if I missed any corrections.
To recap, it's the afternoon before the wedding and Natalie is just about to leave Adrian at his childhood home in Tewksbury with Jack and Ambrose.
Logically, she knew her feelings were silly. After all, this wasn't goodbye; they were getting married tomorrow at 1:PM (or, as Adrian referred to it 1 O O).But as Natalie watched Adrian and his brother stride toward the house, she felt bereft, an unprecedented sadness filling her heart.
It was not until Jack Monk moved into her line of vision did she realize the real cause of her dismay. Adrian was going to spend the night under the same roof as the man who made his childhood a hellish nightmare…. And she wouldn't be there to protect him.
Stonily staring at Jack, lurid thoughts swarmed her mind. She imagined her right hand flying across his cheek and snapping his head askew, her knee rising up sharply, sending him to the ground writhing in tears, her feet brutally thudding against his ribs and back while he curled tight, trying in vain to protect himself.
But as clear as these images of abuse were, she didn't conjure his voice, his pleas for mercy or whimpers of pain. No, in her fantasy she was too busy shouting, howling about his past atrocities and cursing him with obscenities reserved for only the most loathsome.
"Natalie?" Jack's voice, gravely and oddly familiar, shook her from her vengeful daydream. As she gave him the once over, Jack did the unthinkable. He rolled his shoulder and threaded his fingers together.
Natalie shuddered, unable to ignore it- the similarities. The same stance and mannerisms, the unruly curls, the jawline shadowed with stubble, the same dark, haunted eyes….
Her anger wavered and then tempered; a white-hot blade plunged into icy waters. Natalie grudgingly accepted that, despite her feelings, this man was still Adrian's father. If he wanted to give Jack another chance, she had to be open and supportive.
Jack cleared his throat, "So what's it gonna be, Natalie?" He steepled his fingers and rocked back on his heels, "Hit me? Or curse me out?
"Neither, although," With the menacing thoughts still fresh in her mind, she raised an eyebrow and snickered, "I confess I'm resisting the urge to do both.
Obviously relieved, Jack chuckled, "Resistance is admirable, Natalie." Waving his hand in the air, he intoned,'We gain the strength of the temptation we resist Ralph Waldo Emerson.'"
Struck speechless, Natalie's stomach clenched. What! He gleefully recited a quote about resisting temptation? The man who, because of a stupid fortune cookie, deserted his family? What an ass!
Clueless to her resurging animosity, Jack stepped forward and asked, "So we're good then?"
Crossing her arms across her chest, her eyes narrowed, "No Jack, we're not 'good'. I need to tell you something." Toeing the ground, she frowned, "It should come as no surprise that I'm, ahh, that I,' Her words sputtered away as images of Adrian's childhood flashed through her mind. She suddenly looked up, eyes blazing, "I can't even say how much I, I abhor how you treated Adrian… And Ambrose."
With her hands unconsciously balling into fists and her agitated breathing causing her nostrils to flare, she was the embodiment of rage, barely holding her composure. Natalie stepped uncomfortably close to Jack and snarled, "How any parent could..." Her jaw snapped shut and she swallowed a low growl, her blood boiling.
Afraid of what might happen if she lost control (after all, she had killed a man before), Natalie took a step back. Biting the inside of her cheek, she silently counted to ten.
"Natalie, I'm sorry," Jack winced, holding his hands up in surrender. "Believe me, I know I was a horrible father. No excuses- I was selfish and irresponsible and ill-deposed to be a parent. But," He dropped his hands and shrugged, "I can't change the past. I said I'm sorry, what else do you want me to do?"
Natalie shook her head and suddenly pointed her finger at him, her extended index finger dangerously close to his face. "First off, apologies should go to Adrian and Ambrose, not me." She dropped her hand and, as if talking to herself and not him, grumbled, "But you're right, you can't change the past."
Jack waited quietly while Natalie took several deep breaths, calming herself. After a silence that seemingly stretched out forever, Natalie gritted her teeth, resigned, "I guess what I need to say is… since Adrian is willing to give you another chance, I'm going to keep an open mind."
"Okay. Not exactly a glowing endorsement, but I'll take it." Jack held out a hand, "So, truce?"
Glancing toward the closed front door of the house, her heart unsure if she was helping or betraying Adrian, Natalie reluctantly clasped his hand, "Truce."
While still holding her hand, Jack asked hopefully, "So this means you're okay with me attending the wedding? I'm not banished to the, the attic?"
"Yes, you're invited. But," Her grip snapped tight, a steel trap.
"But what?" He inhaled sharply, his fingers turning white from the tension.
Tilting her head, Natalie's blue eyes turned icy cold as she squared her shoulders. "I need you to understand one thing, Jack."
Even to his untrained eye, Jack recognized it. The Look. He gulped loudly, "I'm listening."
Her voice turned eerily quiet, "If you ever hurt him again, you'll wish to God you were never born. Understand?"
Sweat appearing on his brow, Jack gave an imperceptive nod.
Natalie immediately released his hand and returned to her car, unconsciously rubbing her palm against her side. Settling into the driver's seat, she slid on her sunglasses and turned the ignition but, on a whim, stayed put. She watched Jack trudge up the walkway, his gait hesitant, as if he were walking on broken glass.
Or, more likely, broken memories.
The slouch in Jack's shoulders brought an unexpected mistiness to Natalie's eyes. She held on to the steering wheel, fighting off the outlandish urge to dash after him and, as she had done for Adrian hundreds of times, run a comforting hand across his back. 'I don't think so,' she muttered aloud, sighing in relief when Jack disappeared behind the front door.
Before leaving, Natalie hoped to catch one last glimpse of Adrian and gave the house one final look. The windows were, unfortunately, empty. She was however gladdened to see that, with the front porch festively decorated and all the window curtains drawn open, the building had shed its dour mournfulness. It had been transformed into a warm, welcoming home.
She drove away calm, the shimmering blue sky whispering, don't worry, everything's going to be alright.
~LOL~
Honestly, he wasn't curious, he didn't want to spy. But as Adrian went upstairs to put his bags away, his highly attuned detective skills naturally took over.
With all the bedroom doors open, he couldn't help but notice the familiar slippers tucked under the bed in the master bedroom. Ambrose had, after years of continuing to occupy his cramped childhood bedroom, finally appropriated their parent's bedroom. Good for you, Ambrose!
And what of Jack? A glance through another open door indicated that he had been relegated to the guest room. Wow, this was really big!
Adrian continued down the hall to 'his' bedroom, pausing in the doorway. Sigh. This seemed to be the only room in the house Ambrose had not changed. Forcing away the stifling memories that lived inside these four walls, he hung his suit in the empty closet and placed his bag on the narrow, single bed.
Voices outside drew him across the room, to the window. As expected, the magnolia and spirea and narcissus were in full bloom and the grass, a vibrant green. And, Adrian was pleased to see, the crew from Sugar Pine Lodge appeared to be just finishing up with the preparations. God, it's nearly perfect!
Adrian surveyed the caterers' work, excitedly memorizing the details: the grassy path strewn with magnolia petals running between rows of, damn it!, almost perfectly spaced chairs, the white pergola bedecked with ribbons and flowers under which they would recite their vows, small tables set along the yard's perimeter (presumably to hold refreshments) and, in the far corner, squares of parquet tiles assembled into a temporary dance floor.
Knowing the backyard would be perfect after he aligned the chairs and picked up the flower petals, his heart soared. The eager groom bolted across his room and dashed down the staircase. Finding the foyer empty, he called out for his brother, "Ambrose?"
"In here," Came the reply from the living room.
Crossing the threshold, Adrian was unprepared. "Wow!"
Between the rearranged furniture and the wedding decorations- ribbons of tulle and flowers swathed the chandelier and draped the fireplace mantle- the room was bright and cheery and completely unrecognizable. Moving to the room's center, Adrian stopped and turned in a slow circle, eyes flitting about.
Despite all the changes Adrian was gratified to see that, on the wall by the window, Ambrose had left a grouping of family pictures. Among the photos was Adrian and Trudy's wedding picture. That was a perfect day. Warmth flooded Adrian's heart as he heard Trudy's voice, 'I'm glad you're happy Adrian, that's all I've ever wanted.'
Adrian roused from his revelry when Ambrose gleefully asked, "Adrian, what do you think of this?" He motioned to a small, silk-draped table which held several items: a Guest Sign-In book, a petite centerpiece consisting of candles and flowers, and a framed picture of Natalie and Adrian. In the photo, the happy couple was standing arm-in-arm before a snowy mountain.
Approaching the display, Adrian grinned, "Hey, that picture was taken in Lake Tahoe! How did you get it?"
Ambrose nodded to the corner; an antique writing desk held a high-tech computer, partially hidden behind a riotous flower arrangement. "From Julie- she emailed several photos to me last night and I printed that out on my printer." Adrian shook his head in wonder and Ambrose gushed, "The internet is amazing- it's the agoraphobic's best friend... You really should get on line too Adrian, it opens up so many doors."
"Like Julie's slumber party," Adrian snickered, shaking his head in amusement. Ambrose frowned in confusion and Adrian gave him a brief synopsis of the six way killer- FBI fiasco. He happily concluded, "On the rare occasion I need information from the World Wide Internet Computer Web," He reached down and lovingly straightened the photo, smiling, "Natalie gets it."
Shyly eyeing his brother, Ambrose stammered, "Adrian? I want to let you know how much I… I appreciate you rearranging your wedding plans. I know you don't like change…or this house. So thank you for coming home, for letting me take part in your special day."
"I, ahh, no problem, I'm glad to be home, with you." A blush crept up Adrian's neck; he had to confess. "But I'm, you know, sorry that we," His gaze faltered, "I mean, I, didn't initially make an effort to include you."
"What about including me?" Jack asked, unexpectedly standing in the doorway.
Not having heard the front door open or close, the startled brothers abruptly spun around, bumping in to each other. Ambrose happily exclaimed, "Dad!"
Adrian meanwhile remained mute, distractedly looking for a black eye…or a split lip…or evidence of Natalie's handprint on Jack's cheek. Seeing no damage, Adrian was relieved. And, strangely disappointed.
Noticing Adrian curious eyes, Jack turned his face, showing his left cheek then his right, smirking, "Yep, I'm still in one piece."
"Oh, I knew you'd be unscathed," Ambrose insisted.
'I didn't,' Adrian mumbled to himself.
Casting his gaze about the room, Jack said, "They did a real nice job, didn't they?" The brothers nodded, murmuring in agreement. When they fell silent, Jack crossed the room, the lines on his face etching deeper, "Adrian, I'll cut right to the chase- do you want me at your wedding? I'd love to attend, but the decision is yours."
"Do I...want you… at the wedding? "Adrian enunciated every word, stalling.
Faced with his son's obvious indecision, Jack added, "I already promised your bride I'd be on my best behavior." He raised his right hand, "Hand to-"
"To God?" Adrian interrupted, stifling a snort as images of Jack Jr. flew through his mind. Returning his attention to his father, he sobered, lifting an eyebrow, "What did Natalie say?"
"I'll let her give you the specifics, let's just say we've reached détente." Jack voice turned hopeful, "So, what'd ya say?"
Adrian's gaze momentarily darted through the doorway to the liquor cabinet in the dining room, his countenance darkening. "Let's see how tonight goes, okay?"
"Fair enough," Jack murmured, nodding. Although hurt registered in his eyes, he asked brightly, "Have you been out to the backyard yet? It looks great."
"I concur, it's splendid. Although," Ambrose sheepishly shrugged, "I am ambivalent about those magnolia petals left scattered in the grass."
"I'm not!" Adrian laughed, "C'mon you two, let's go outside." He herded his brother and father towards the kitchen, not realizing that his little request would instigate the unexpected. A day of togetherness and reconciliation.
~LOL~
It had been a long day and Adrian was bone weary. Who knew bending over and picking up 1000 flower petals would be so tiring? So while Ambrose and Jack cleared the dinner dishes and retreated to the kitchen, the groom remained seated, elbows resting on the dining room table.
Their muffled voices lulling him into a trance, Adrian stared blankly into the living room. With his mind somewhere between reality and a dream state, the day's events and memories from the past wandered together: First Ambrose, in the backyard, busily fussing over a wrinkle in a tablecloth, then growing younger, a child methodically setting the table, fretful if denied this privilege. Now Jack, on bended knee, laughing as he used a tape measure to accurately space the chairs fading to Jack fifty years past, again on bended knee, laughing as he tried to coax his two sons into a kiddie wading pool.
To this day Adrian still regretted his refusal. If he had shown some bravery, Ambrose surely would have followed and, perhaps, the rest of their childhood might have been altered. He sighed aloud, why didn't he just take the leap and trust his father?
"What's the matter?" Jack asked, reentering the dining room.
Ambrose was one step behind their father, carrying a serving tray of coffee, cups, sugar and creamers. With a clatter he dropped the tray on the table, "Oh no, did we forget something?"
Adrian shook his head, "No, everything's fine," He stopped, realizing that while the wedding preparations were complete, he had forgotten something. Not just 'something', only the most important thing! Reaching for a coffee mug, a crooked grin shot across his face and he chucked aloud.
Sliding into their seats, Jack and Ambrose exchanged puzzled looks. Jack reached for his coffee, asking, "What's so funny?"
"When you're done," Adrian motioned to their drinks, impatient for them to get situated. He fidgeted as they sugared and stirred their coffees, held his breath waiting for their spoons to get set aside.
As he waited, he realized how much easier this had been yesterday. After all, all he did was stand behind Natalie, hand on her back, and happily accept congratulations. But today he was facing his family alone, and truthfully, he was unsure how to word his announcement.
Jack and Ambrose finally settled, falling dead silent. It was time to tell them.
With their complete attention on his next statement, Adrian let out the breath he'd been holding. "I have some news… wonderful news. I, I mean, Nat and I, we're..." He suddenly faltered, helpless, remembering how he felt upon learning about this amazing, unexpected blessing…the unbound joy and elation….the uncontrollable, all engulfing love. Adrian's gaze drifted from his father to his brother, his words stuck in his chest.
Ambrose reached over and touched his arm, worried, "Adrian?"
Corralling his emotions, he shook his head, I'm fine. His voice returned, as did his smile. "Natalie and I are expecting."
Jack's mouth dropped open and Ambrose filled the silence, stammering, "Expecting? A, a baby?"
"Holy crap...I mean, cow!" Jack laughed, spilling his coffee on the pristine tablecloth. Ambrose immediately darted into the kitchen for cleaning supplies, returning in record time.
Taking the cleanser from his brother, Adrian scrubbed at Jack's spill. Eyes focused on his task, he enjoyed the disbelief in their voices while answering the barrage of questions: Yes, she really was pregnant, ten weeks along.- God yes, he was completely thrilled and, no offense Jack but, thanks to Natalie's support and having had Julie in his life, he believed he was both ready and able to be a good father.-Oh yes, Julie's delighted, she's already volunteered for babysitting duty. –Of course they would bring the baby over here, Ambrose. –Well, even though it wasn't official, he was positive the baby was a girl. -No Jack, stop asking, they definitely were not considering the name 'Jackie'.
"Anyway," Jack lightly cuffed Adrian's shoulder, smirking, "I guess I don't need to give you the 'birds and bees' lecture for your honeymoon, do I?"
Adrian shrunk from his father's touch, his happy mood souring. What the hell… Did he really expect a response?
Ambrose, however, misread Adrian's silence and guilelessly interjected, "Dad, he was previously married. And besides, considering Natalie's condition, isn't it evident he's already familiar with the mechanics of human sexual relations?"
"Mechanics?" Jack snorted a guttural laugh, "Adrian never was very 'mechanical'."
Before Adrian could call a halt Jack's odious ribbing, Ambrose naively countered, "But he's always been a quick study."
Slapping the table, Jack doubled over, completely amused with himself. "Yeah, and it appears he's done some extra credit."
Cheeks reddening, exasperated by Jack's double-entendre, Adrian dropped the cleaning cloth, abandoning the stain. He pushed his chair back and stood, scowling at both men, "Excuse me, but I don't appreciate such, ahh, 'humor'."
Understanding slowly registering in his eyes, Ambrose jumped to his feet and blocked Adrian's exit, "No, don't leave, I'm sorry. You know Dad, or I, didn't mean any harm."
Jack remained in his seat, calling, "Adrian, come on, don't be so sensitive. I was just teasing- you know, 'guy talk'."
Adrian was acutely aware that, no matter how he responded, the mood of the evening was forever altered. Resigned, accepting he would never be 'one of the guys', Adrian shook his head and stepped around his brother, "I know, it's alright…But anyway, I'm kind of tired, I think I'm going to turn in."
Returning their 'goodnights', when he reached the doorway, Adrian turned, "Ambrose don't forget-"
"Already on it," His brother answered, removing the tablecloth for washing.
Overcome with fatigue, Adrian trudged up the stairs to his bedroom. Changing into his pajamas, he was certain that as soon as his head hit the pillow, he would fall a deep, dreamless sleep.
~LOL~
After hours of tossing and turning, Adrian finally surrendered, throwing aside his blanket. A grid of moonlight slipped through the window and he paced the room, a caged animal. Unable to pinpoint the cause of his unrest, he fled the bedroom, instinctively avoiding the creaky floorboards as he padded past the closed bedroom doors and down the staircase.
Once downstairs, he slowly circled through the moonlit rooms, freezing abruptly in the living room. Stop here! With his mind whirling, his hands, in usual Monk fashion, came up and floated around the room.
With his fingers framing different items, he automatically questioned if they were the cause of his agitation. The Wedding Guest Book? No, he definitely was not nervous about tomorrow. His and Trudy's wedding picture? No, Trudy had reassured him that his love for her was, in no way, diminished by opening his heart to Natalie's love. The sofa? The coffee table? The writing desk? No, no and no.
Then his eyes fell upon his father's old club chair, one artifact from their past that Ambrose was loathe to part with.
Adrian found himself sinking into the seat, unable to remember crossing the room. Shaking, his fingers traced the arm seam of the leather chair.
Like a sudden summer storm, wrenching uncontrollable sobs overtook his body. Face buried in his hands, lost in this unnamed grief, he didn't hear Jack's approaching footsteps or voice.
Settling on the chair's arm, Jack gently rubbed his son's shoulder, asking again, "What's wrong, Adrian?"
Adrian dropped his hands, startled by Jack's appearance and disoriented to his surroundings.
Jack offered a box of tissues, "Here."
Pulling several tissues and blotting his eyes, he snorted a laugh when Jack reached into his pocket and produced a zip-lock bag. "You remembered," Adrian grunted.
"Some things are unforgettable," Jack chuckled, sliding the tissue box onto the coffee table. He waited until Adrian calmed before asking, "So what's bothering you?"
Adrian's breathing steadied. "I don't know…I guess…I, ahh, the last time I spent the night, I sat here," He lovingly touched the chair, "The night Trudy…" Tears returning, he pulled another tissue from the box.
"The night you lost Trudy." Empathy and compassion softening his voice, Jack rubbed Adrian's shoulder, "I'm sorry son." Adrian nodded absentmindedly, his head bowed.
Jack ventured, "Adrian, I'm sure Trudy wants you to be happy again- you shouldn't feel guilty-"
"No, I don't…It's not that." Adrian disputed. He was suddenly aware that, despite his tears, he felt neither distraught nor despondent.
"Then why the water-works?" Jack asked.
"I don't know." Adrian slowly shook his head, befuddled.
"So it's a mystery?" Jack leaned back, his hand playfully squeezing the back of Adrian's neck, "Hmm, maybe we need to hire a detective."
Nodding, Adrian smiled, realizing how thankful he was for his father's return.
Jack turned serious, "You know, I am sorry I teased you earlier tonight. I had no right-"
"It's forgotten," Adrian interrupted, the absurdity of his statement causing them both to laugh. As their mirth subsided, Adrian remembered Jack's unanswered request, "I'm sorry I kept you waiting for this invitation. I really want you at my wedding... Dad."
"Thank you." Jack ruffed Adrian's hair, smiling. Patting the groom's shoulder, Jack rose to his feet with a yawn, "Speaking of the wedding, get upstairs and get some sleep. You've a big day ahead of you."
Following his father up the stairs, submitting to a kiss on the forehead and repeating Jack's 'I love you', it wasn't until Adrian slid beneath his blanket and began to drift off, did he finally understand. What happened tonight, a father comforting his son, should have happened thirteen years ago.
There was only one explanation.
Sensing her presence, Adrian pried open his eyes. He groggily whispered, "Trudy."
"Hello Adrian." A glowing vision, she came closer, her eyes dancing, "So Detective, you solved the mystery?"
He smiled, "Here's what happened….You were behind everything- you prodded me from this room, down to the living room. You led me to my father's chair…You pulled the tears from me, knowing Jack would hear me and comfort me." Fresh tears sprang to his eyes, "Tonight, you gave me back my father."
She snickered, "Well, I couldn't give you a," she rolled her eyes, "A toaster for a wedding gift." Reaching down, Trudy laid her hand on his brow, her face radiant, "The future awaits Adrian. Be happy."
Filled with love and gratitude, his eyelids suddenly felt impossibly heavy. He easily drifted off to sleep, finally released from the last anchor of sadness that had weighed down his heart.
A/N: So the wedding day is finally upon us but, with lots of surprises planned for our happy groom, I'm not sure if we'll actually get to the ceremony in Chapter 19. I haven't started writing yet so, lol, we'll be surprised together. :)