AN: Thank you everyone for reading on :) I am going on vacation for a few weeks so I won't be able to update for a little while. But don't worry, there's still lots of story to come when I get back.

Chapter 9: Empty Spaces

"Andy!" Traci practically launched herself at Andy the moment the brunette stepped out of Sam's doorway. "Oh my God I missed you."

Andy hugged her back, feeling a wave of affection for her friend. She realized she'd missed Traci too, though she'd spent most of her time away too worried about her own life or bogged down by guilt for the role she'd played on the day of Jerry's death to really let herself think fondly of Traci over the last several months. "How are you?" she asked, stepping back so she could see Traci's face.

Traci smiled, but her eyes didn't light up the way they used to. There were new lines around her mouth, carved, Andy thought, by grief. "I miss him." She said in a choked sort of voice before shaking her head and beaming at Andy, "But today we're going shopping!"

Deciding they both need a day without dealing with the heaviness of real life, Andy rolls her eyes and half-heartedly grumbles about how much she hates shopping. Her ploy does the trick and Traci spends the next thirty minutes trying to coax Andy into being excited to replace her entire wardrobe in a single afternoon.

Andy listens with half an ear, despite her best intentions, her own problems are not so easily pushed back into their box. Sam had only just left the room in search of a mop when Traci rang the bell and Andy, not wanting Traci to pick up on the weird tension between her and Sam, had called a brief goodbye before practically sprinting out the door. The most reasonable part of her mind told her she should have asked Traci to wait and gone to talk to Sam, but she'd never really been good at listening to that part of her, especially when it came to all things Sam.

"Are you okay?" Traci asked as they climbed out of her car in front of Starbucks.

Such a simple question, such a complicated answer. Andy forced a smile she didn't feel and nodded. "Fine." She said, though as soon as the words left her lips she wondered if it was a lie. She didn't feel fine. Her stomach was a knot of some unidentifiable emotion, she felt a little like she might be sick. But this was Traci, her best friend and confident, which meant Andy would lie her ass off rather than admit to all the things racing through her mind.

A familiar, and very unwelcome, blonde head suddenly appeared in the doorway of Starbucks, a cup of coffee in one hand, cell phone in the other.

"I invited Gail," Traci said with a apprehensive glance at Andy.

"Great." Andy said half under her breath, unable to totally mask the sarcasm.

Traci gave her a warning look before waving to Gail. "Be nice." She hissed.

"There you are." Gail said, stopping a few feet away, tucking her phone into the front left pocket of her jeans. "You look awful," She said, giving Andy a once-over, her sharp blue eyes catching the dark circles under Andy's eyes and the lower lip reddened from frequent gnawing.

"Thanks Gail, nice to see you too." Andy grumbled. She and Gail had never had a traditional kind of friendship. Gail was prickly and defensive, and Andy wasn't one to push in where she felt she wasn't wanted. Still, they had figured out a way to coexist, and even have fun together, and Andy had thought they were friends. But then Gail had slept with Sam, and now... well, she wasn't really sure what to think. She tried to lock the memory of Sam confessing he'd fucked Gail into a dark corner of her mind, but it wouldn't go.

"I think she needs coffee," Traci said, tilting her head unsubtly towards the Starbucks.

Andy followed, mostly ignoring the light, meaningless chatter between Traci and Gail. There was a battle going on in her mind between her desire to slap Gail across the face and her desire to just forget it had ever happened so she and Sam could pick up where they left off this morning. One of these days they were going to finish their talk, and then she was stripping him naked and fucking him on every surface in his townhouse. She smiled at the thought. Oh yes, for the prospect of Sam beneath her, on top of her, in her again, she was pretty sure she could forgive Gail Peck for just about anything.

The blonde laughed at something Traci said and a bolt of jealous anger shot through Andy. Well.. maybe not anything.

"What do you think?" Gail asked giving a playful twirl in the too tight, too low-cut, too short dress, the playful smile on her face making it evident she was joking. "New uniform?"

Traci laughed. "Can you imagine the look on Frank's face?"

"I'm sure it's nothing every guy at fifteen hasn't seen before." Andy muttered bitterly.

Gail's smile faded, her blue eyes wide with hurt, like a small child who has been struck without knowing what she did wrong. She stepped back into the change room without another word and shed the dress. Ignoring the other items she had intended to try on, Gail pulled on her jeans and t-shirt. Tears stung at the corners of her eyes and she dug her right fingernails into her left palm as hard as she could, the pain clearing her head. So, he told her, she thought shaking her head slightly. She'd really hoped Sam would just keep his mouth shut, but she should have known better.

Sam was one of those genuinely good guys, even if he had the emotional maturity of a dish cloth. It wasn't in him to keep something like this to himself. He probably thought he was doing the right thing by all of them. Taking a deep steadying breath, Gail stepped out into the shop.

Andy was leaning against the wall, arms crossed mutinously across her chest.

Gail hesitated only a second before calling out a lame excuse to Traci and grabbing Andy's elbow, propelling her out into the mall.

"What are you-?" Andy sputtered, trying to pull out of Gail's iron grip.

"Shut up." Gail said, dragging Andy around a corner and pushing her into a handicapped bathroom – one of the solitary ones that locked.

Once they were inside with the door shut Gail let go of Andy. "Look." She said before Andy could speak. "We were drunk and it meant nothing."

Andy snorted. "Just one more for work-sex bingo?"

Gail wasn't sure whether she wanted to hit Andy, or laugh. There was hurt in there somewhere too, how dare Andy call her a slut?!, but mostly she was pissed.

"Or is it more like Pokemon? Gotta catch them all?"

This time Gail laughed. It was a sharp, mirthless laugh, but it let off some steam so she could actually think. She did not want to have this conversation. She didn't want to think about that night, or what followed. She wanted everyone else to forget. Maybe if they forgot she could too. Her heart clenched and she knew she would never forget. There were some things no woman can banish utterly from her mind, no matter how many tiny boxes she tries to shove it in to. But no one knew the part that kept her up at night, and as far as Gail was concerned no one need ever know.

"You left him." She said in as calm a voice as she could manage, getting straight to the pertinent facts – the facts that she had clung to and recited over and over again those months ago when the consequences of her stupidity had lain heavy on her heart. "He didn't cheat on you."

Andy's eyes were narrowed and her nostrils flared with anger, but for the moment she kept her peace and let Gail's excuses fill the space between them.

"He's not Luke."

"I'm sure it's only a matter of time until you get around to him too."

Gail clenched her fist and her jaw and for a moment just stood, anger washing over her in waves, making her want to say the things she promised herself she would never tell anyone, just to see their impact. If only you knew, she thought cruelly. But no, it wasn't worth it. Her own heart couldn't bear Nick knowing, let alone Andy, or worst of all, Sam. "We did nothing wrong." She said through clenched teeth. "You. Left. Him. Deal with it."

Without a word, though fury radiated from her, Andy stepped around Gail and reached for the door.

Gail didn't try to stop her. She couldn't. Her entire body felt drained, like she'd just run a marathon or survived a shootout. She sagged against the wall, allowing one tear and then another to course down her face. It was too much. The last six months had been too much, and she couldn't hold it in any more. A sob tore itself from her throat and she sank to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest.

Ten minutes later Traci's head peaked around the door and in seconds she was at Gail's side, a motherly arm slung around Gail's shoulder. Neither of them paying the slightest attention to the fact that they were in a public washroom.

Traci stroked Gail's hair soothingly and held her as she cried. Her mind whirled trying to figure out what had happened. She couldn't remember ever seeing Gail shed a single tear, yet here she was, curled up on the floor, sobbing as if her entire body wanted to shatter to pieces.

Andy stood outside the door, her head leaning back against the wall. Guilt had settled firmly on her chest and she wanted nothing more than to outrun it. But she forced herself to wait as Traci had ordered her to.

After what felt, to Andy, like an eternity, Traci emerged from the restroom, her arm wrapped around Gail's shoulder. She fixed Andy with a disapproving look before releasing her hold on Gail and turning to look the blonde in the eyes, "Are you sure you don't want me to drive you?"

Gail shook her head. "No, I'm fine." She said in a hoarse voice. "Thanks." She did not look at Andy as she turned and disappeared into the afternoon crowd .

Traci barely waited for Gail to disappear from view before turning on Andy. "What did you say to her?"

"I—" Andy flushed. She barely remembered the words that had left her mouth, but she was sure they were well deserved. "She slept with Sam!"

Traci's eyes widened in a moment of surprise before returning to their disapproving-mom look. "She slept with a man you were not dating, and so you thought the appropriate reaction was to make Gail Peck cry?"

Andy shuffled her feet, but stubbornly kept quiet.

"Let me remind you of a few things you might have forgotten while you were off on Project Dakota," Traci's voice was tinged with bitterness. She knew she had made the right decision not going, but there was a part of her that wished desperately that she, rather than Andy, had been on that bust. "Chris Diaz has a baby and is still considering transferring and going to work in Timmins. Not quite seven months ago, Gail Peck was kidnapped and drugged and very nearly killed by a deranged taxi driver." She didn't mention Jerry, although a lump rose in her throat and it was a moment before she could continue. "Nick Collins disappeared without so much as a word to Gail, who he was actually dating at the time. Gail was forced to testify in the trial of her attacker and her face and story were plastered all over every newspaper in Southern Ontario for weeks. And you are upset because she slept with Sam Swarek? A man who is so obviously in love with you that it makes the rest of us a little sick. Can you see why I'm having trouble taking your side?"

It took a moment for Andy to find her voice. Traci had never spoken to her like that. They had been friends for three years and she was used to Traci always being in her corner, ready to offer a half mocking critique when Andy did something especially stupid, but always understanding and loving. This Traci was someone entirely different. But, Andy had to admit, she had a point. Andy didn't know what had happened over the last five months. She'd given a sworn deposition for the trial so she could stay under cover and they were too busy to pay much attention to the media scrutiny. She'd also forgotten somehow, in all the chaos of homecoming, the fire and Sam, that Chris and Denise had a son. She imagined if Luke showed up with a kid one day, her stomach forming and icy knot. It would hurt, and she and Luke had not retained anything like the friendship that Gail and Chris seemed to share. For the first time, she realized how selfish she had been. "I'm sorry." She murmured.

Traci opened up her arms for a hug and Andy gratefully accepted. "I know," Traci said, her voice warmer now. "Now let's get you some clean clothes. If I see you in those jeans for another minute I might cry myself."

Andy looked down at the admittedly ratty jeans with a sheepish smile and followed Tracy back into the milling crowds of Eaton Center.