Witch's thoughts: as you can see, I'm finally back :) why I was gone is a longer story and I know you don't care about it, so here, I present you another chapter, for which you all (I hope) waited impatiently^^

IMPORTANT BEFORE READING: there are some issues that need to be explained. here, I used parts of the plot of a Troules' bonus story, describing Quella, Qui-Gon, Shakti and Obi-Wan's stay on Shairaan. that story will be posted during this month I hope, but the problem is, without it, some parts may be not understandable. I'll post the explanation at the end of the chapter, so those of you who want to know what's going on, please scroll down when you see a '*'. alright?

songs in this part:

Endavi's is "Sleepsong" by Secret Garden

Kodachi's is "Lament of Highborne" from World of Warcraft (do NOT belong to me, making no money, yada, yada...)

oh, and sorry for all mistakes, they are all mine. I didn't want to wait anymore ans wanted to post something so badly that I didn't have time to send it to Rhea...^^'

"I don't like it and you know that."

Koga narrowed his eyes and turned around, seeing that Shakti needed a moment again to catch her breath. He went to get her from the Healer's Ward after she was discharged due to lack of any more wounds to treat. Her Master was busy with something and that duty was left to Koga, who should be in charge of the girl, having her as his bondmate and fellow Shairaani Knight. But the truth was that Koga didn't like the situation as it was and he detested how it was developing. Knowing Kenobi from before, remembering everything about why they hadn't liked each other, made hairs on his nape stood because of sudden shudder of hate that run down his spine. Somehow, he finally managed to set Shakti straight and after all this trouble that he went through, Kenobi came back and most likely would make it crumble loudly just because he thought his half-assed knowledge and loud self was needed here…

"KOGA, I said wait up!"

He turned around, noticing that he unconsciously started to walk again, or more likely, to march forward, ignoring the weakened state Shakti was in. Cursing under his breath and hissing angrily, Koga caught her hand, trying not to see how thin and fragile it was, only to yank her closer.

"Don't separate." He spat.

"I don't understand what are you so angry about again." Shakti sighed, ignoring his harsh tone and snuggling further into his robe. Now, together, they started to move towards her quarters. "I know you had to cancel your classes to get me, but I don't see…"

Only thanks to his extraordinary reflexes, was Koga able to catch his girl, when she first stiffened suddenly and then jumped forward with a growl, full of fury. With surprise, holding her with one arm, only to switch to full hold because she was struggling to get free, Koga noticed that Shakti now ignored all her faults and wounds. Before, she was heavily stumbling, now - standing firmly on both legs, she tried to avoid Koga's hands and get away.

Looking up and ahead provided the answer, why Shakti was behaving so strangely. In the distance, near the turn of another corridor, Koga could see that Master Jinn and Knight Raksion had just the same problem that he was starting to have, as they tried to restrain Kenobi from moving.

"Knight Kunein!" Koga could hear surprised tone of Master Jinn, when he was trying not to let go of his former Padawan's arm. "Get her away, quick!"

"Don't have to tell me, old man" Koga barked back, baring his fangs. He planned to do this anyway, he just needed a second to overpower Shakti. Waiting for a moment she wasn't defending her nape, Koga struck with just enough strength to make her dizzy and confused. Then, throwing her over his shoulder, he made a run for it, leaving shouting Kenobi far away, not even caring to check if Raksion and Jinn needed any help. Now, he had more problems on his own, than to try and shut up a not-really-welcomed-but-returned-anyway-Jedi.

Running through the corridors of the Temple, he ignored all the bewildered glances thrown at him, stopping only when he felt that Shakti started to stir on his back. Not wanting to have his back scratched in her attempt to get free, Koga turned to one of the quieter corridors and put Shakti down. Now, as for her waking up…

He didn't have to wait long, he just managed to finish pinning her down, when Shakti's eyes opened abruptly, a low growl already rising in her throat. Koga was prepared for that, she was much smaller and weaker than he was even when she was healthy and now, her being discharged straight from the Healer's ward only increased the difference. However, he nearly let go of her wrists, when Shakti's eyes searched for his and she bared her fangs at him. The problem was, it wasn't Shakti looking at him anymore.

Habitually, he reached to their bond, only to back off, suspicious. Koga tried again, but when he didn't get through to her mind this time as well, he hissed. He could safely assume that her mind was out, he couldn't even see her outer shields and that made him tighten his grip on her hands.

"I'm alright, you can let me go."

Looking at her, Koga didn't move, still sitting in her middle and holding her wrists tightly. His narrowed eyes observed her suddenly calmed face, searching for any clue what was going on, but seeing only her beloved features instead. Koga started to loosen his grip…

An anticipated flash of victory in her all of a sudden sharp eyes was all of a warning he got and it was enough. Now even straining his hunter instincts, Koga calmly adjusted his grip, squeezing her thin wrists even harder.

"Let me go! Let me go, you jackass!" now, Shakti started to squirm like an eel, trying to move from under his larger body, but failing miserably. She wanted to catch his hands and injure him, to get free at all cost, hissing and trying to bite, all in vain, as Koga held her tightly, with a frown observing what was going on with his bondmate. A flash of violet in her eyes surprised him, in the next second making a little anxious and guarded. He knew what that could mean and he didn't like it at all.

Amethystine eyes watched him, looking for any opening or mistake. They were nervous and with dilated pupils, so alien and unknown that Koga felt his ears were flat on his head without him noticing when. The woman moving under him was not his Shakti; he knew her well and hated from all what he was…

Koga wasn't able to stand maniacal gaze of Kusj Blackstone.

He didn't even try to restrict the strength of his blow, when he slapped her face.

"Shakky, snap out of it!"

Shakti winced, her face got covered with her hair for a moment, breaking the eye contact. Breathing heavily and totally not knowing why, Koga observed her with tension for two, uneasy heartbeats. Then she moved, slowly trying to look at him again.

"Wha- Hey, why did you hit me…?"

Koga slouched where he was sitting, hearing quiet, but offended voice of his beloved bondmate. Shakti moved with surprised expression on her face, trying to straighten up and sit properly by the wall. Her arms and hands were bruised in places where Koga held them, her skin started to turn purple there. Shakti blinked and wanted to adjust some strands of her fair hair that were falling on her forehead, when he asked, his voice confused and unsure.

"Just what for Mother's sake, was THAT?"

/

The door sliding back went unnoticed by four men gathered in the room as they were engaged in heated conversation.

"For Sith Hells, that's ridiculous! How can you not remember?"

"Leave it, my Padawan. He suffered some damage…"

"What is damaged is his brain! Why should kitty be so upset, if it wasn't the case?"

"How is my brain damaged, you white-haired bastard?"

"Obi-Wan, don't stand up, you are injured…"

"Let go 'Ceho, I'll show him how 'damaged' I am!"

"Will you two calm down! You are all Knights, for Force's sake!"

What Quella saw entering the room, was Obi-Wan and Bruck Chun fighting on Kenobi's bed, while Qui-Gon and Taceho tried to separate them. Even from where she was standing, she could see that Obi-Wan was bruised and in bad shape, which was kind of confusing, knowing that he was out of the Healers' Ward just this morning. Something must have happened after he got discharged, but as she remembered correctly, Qui-Gon and Taceho were supposed to pick him up. What in the world could have happened?

Before she managed to react, her companion passed her, pushed Bruck and Taceho away, grabbed Obi-Wan by the collar of his shirt and punched him soundly.

For a moment, silence followed, before it exploded into one hell of an argument.

"I know how you feel Kunein, but you can't kill him!" Bruck jumped to catch Koga, who swung his arm to hit again.

"What the hell was that?" Quella marched towards them, only to support Bruck, when the other Knight started trying to free himself.

"Will you please settle down? We can just talk about it…" Taceho came between the two, trying to separate them and this way avoid another escalation of the fight, but along with others, he turned around hearing Obi-Wan's muffled voice.

"It's all right. I deserved that one." He said, feeling around his jaw and checking his teeth. For a moment he seemed to be deep in thought, but awkward silence in the room told him that his answer wasn't enough. Obi-Wan blinked and tried to move his jaw, what resulted in awful crackling sound.

"'Deserved?' why?" Quella barked at him, seeing that the others are too confused to voice their thoughts.

"Oh, just some old story, about taking care of the kid*, right Koga?" Obi-Wan looked straight into Shairaani's eyes, with something resembling challenge. But Koga didn't respond, he just hissed, forcefully freed himself from Bruck's grip and backed off to the wall. There, he leaned on it and crossed his arms on his chest, in this way showing he had no intention of maintaining the conversation. If it wasn't for his tail whipping angrily around his legs, one could say that the Knight was just mildly annoyed. Yet, Quella observed him with attention, knowing better.

"Since we all are here, what about telling us a little bit more of the past, Obi-Wan?" Taceho tilted his head to the right like a bird, watching the young man, who was still sitting on his bed, feeling around his own face in thought. Hearing a question directed at him, Obi-Wan twitched.

"There is nothing more to say, actually. As I told the Council, I fought with Darth Maul, escaped the explosion over Naboo and the capsule I took from 'Moonstar' had the numbers put for Shairaan automatically. After I got there, princesses helped me to keep my existence secret and healed me, before I became a spy…"

"And that's what's suspicious!" Bruck burst out, but Quella silenced him with a swing of her hand.

"Go on."

"There is nothing to go on about, really." Obi-Wan shrugged with nonchalant move of a self-confident liar. However, he tried hard to avoid looking Taceho in the eyes. "You'd better tell me what was going on here during these years… Qui-Gon wouldn't tell me anything at all."

Quella threw her bondmate an appreciative glance, but she didn't say anything. Also, she kept in place Bruck Chun who again wanted to jump in with some insults and Koga Kunein, who didn't speak, but glared at Obi-Wan nonetheless.

"There is so much we should tell you it's hard to find the beginning." Taceho said quietly. Obi-Wan looked at him with gentle eyes of someone who got already addicted to Knight Raksion's voice. The man smiled and Obi-Wan found himself sighing.

"Then maybe you'll tell me since when you call Chun your Padawan, huh?"

Bruck twitched, but Taceho's face remained calmly indifferent.

"Since his Master was found dead and I was one of the few available Knights that could continue his education, my friend."

"Oh really." Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow sarcastically "Speaking about being dead, wasn't he lost as well..?"

Qui-Gon interrupted Quella, who had already an angry retort on the end of her tongue.

"I think we really should start at the beginning."

/

Obi-Wan jumped on his bed, knocking down a glass from nightstand and a pillow from behind his back. He looked seriously moved.

"Insane? You mean that Baby went insane after I was gone?"

"Not literarily." Taceho tried to calm him down with gentle suggestion of his emphatic mind "It was just too much for her weakened mind and losing the bond with you triggered some processes that otherwise wouldn't be started, should she be in better condition."

"Then why was it lost to begin with? Why did it break?" Obi-Wan sounded agitated. A thought that something was making him attack his little girl and, what's worse, making him forget about that at all, well, such thought was driving him literarily insane.

"Still don't know" Quella interrupted. She observed Obi-Wan as he was sitting on the bed with face in his hands. "But thanks to that we got to know how Shakky can turn into Kusj Blackstone.. which is another matter, that we will talk about later." She added quickly, seeing that Kenobi's head snapped upwards and he was ready to ask a question, but they didn't have time and she wasn't in a mood to answer such questions; there were more nagging problems at hand. Like why Kenobi's signature was still covered with Endavi's.

At the question, Obi-Wan just smiled.

"Kodachi-nee* and Endavi took care of me. Endavi saved me from dying. This is just part of my gratitude."

"Shouldn't it be Endavi-nee, instead of just Endavi?" Quella asked suspiciously, a nuance only Qui-Gon and Koga could be aware of. Yet, Obi-Wan smiled even broader.

"Nope, just Endavi is fine."

/

Obi-wan remembered that well. The pain, overwhelmingly terrifying pain that made him feel his insides being ripped to pieces in his chest. Lungs burning with living fire when he tried to breathe…

Next spasm felt as if he had his heart taken out by force, pulling at muscles and joints in his whole body, while through drumming of his pulse in his ears, Obi-Wan could hear clearly a scream and faint sobbing, a voice he should know and probably remember, but who was it that was speaking…?

He knew he was whimpering, a sound not of a proud warrior, but of a miserable, scared child, calling his mother to save him. It was a shame that an adult like him was able to unconsciously perform such surrender, but right now it was all he was capable of. He couldn't think about anything else than the pain, the pain spreading over and over with every beat from his heart into his body.

A quiet chanting in high voices could be heard in the background and Obi-Wan came up with a thought that the crying he heard earlier was going on in his head. From fever maybe? He didn't know and didn't care, because pain dulled all his senses, rendering him unable to open to the Force, to let go of his suffering. At the same time, he more knew that heard that someone continued singing near him, high voices of Shairaani priestesses and shamans adding up as a indistinct sound. Then, they fell silent and simultaneously, Obi-Wan felt the fire in his chest threatening to overwhelm his already faltering consciousness into raging pit of darkness, when abruptly, the feeling ended.

In surprise, he tried to open his eyes, closed and clenched in order to, even if only slightly, disrupt the pain. But he couldn't; a new voice started singing, bringing salvation and soothing his suffering, taking away the fire. He knew this voice, he knew he did, but somehow it was strange…

Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby

Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay

And I'll sing you to sleep

And I'll sing you tomorrow..

The voice was melodious and warm, but somehow, it kept going too high as if the person had been crying earlier and a little unsure, as if the woman was not convinced if she was going to be accepted. He didn't know, who could that be; the only one who could have such voice didn't match the description at all, she was cold and spoiled and surely, wouldn't care about him at all…

May you sail far to the far fields of fortune

With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet

And may you need never to banish misfortune

May you find kindness in all that you meet

The pain was fading, slowly, but steadily. Obi-Wan somehow was able to breathe freely again, even though it still hurt a bit. However, the feeling of burning inside was nearly completely gone – with just a little effort, he knew he could reach to the Force and dive into its welcoming embrace… yet, he waited.

Obi-Wan started to understand what was being said, sang to him. He felt the words, he knew somehow, how much emotions were put into them, how much that woman cared for him. Maybe it really was Shakti? Maybe somehow she came to him?

May you bring love and may you bring happiness

Be loved in return to the end of your days

That longing, that misery… he knew that voice, Force, how he knew it… he had heard it once, many years ago… but the pain fading during her singing, it couldn't possibly mean…

Reaching to the place in his mind he treasured the most, told him everything. There was one thing he didn't expect to see, ragged, bleeding and injured. There was also a thing he didn't remember there to be.

Now fall off to sleep, I`m not meaning to keep you

I`ll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lay, lay

Why Endavi? Why do you love me?...

/

"Well, that does make sense." Quella said slowly, breaking an awkward silence that followed Obi-Wan's story. "Another bondmate would heal your injuries and take care of your mental health."

"But it seems that they'd done the same thing we did with Shakti" Qui-Gon shifted uncomfortably on that thought and sat behind Obi-Wan, to have him in hand range. "Princess Endavi forcefully bonded Obi-Wan to herself, this way saving his life, but we too, forced Shakti to bond with Knight Kunein as he could balance her."

"We didn't have choice." Quella grimaced and exchanged glances with Taceho. "But I still don't know why my stupid sisters didn't tell me about you."

"I begged them not to." Obi-Wan smiled, leaning back into his lover's touch. He unconsciously started to stroke Qui-Gon's hand that now rested on his knee. "From what I'd got to know from Darth Maul on "Moonstar", we had a mole in the Order and I couldn't pass this chance of investigating from neutral position. I didn't want to endanger any of you, not knowing who the traitor may be…"

"Bullshit." Quella and Koga barked simultaneously, but after glancing at each other, the Knight recognised the superiority of the Master.

"According to Dai, you were delirious with fever and couldn't utter a complete sentence, being somehow imprisoned in some vision. And that means my idiot sisters acted on their own, ignoring the need to contact us first, because she said they didn't want us to have more troubles." The last word was nearly hissed, as Quella's face was dark with badly hidden anger. Qui-Gon felt a shudder travelling down his spine, but Obi-Wan's hand on his own told him to calm down.

"But your sisters might not have wanted to talk with you through the communicator, not to leak the information unintentionally… I guess if you two had seen each other, maybe Kodachi-nee would have said something." Obi-wan said, talking to Quella, but observing Koga, who tried hard not to look him in the eye. Yet, the woman's words made his attention turn back to her.

"Actually we had seen each other, Kenobi." Did he imagine that or did she shudder?

Obi-Wan frowned, feeling that Qui-Gon's hand clenched on his own.

"She didn't say anything about it. where did you..?"

"On your funeral."

/

Quella stood quietly in the crowd, far enough from Qui-Gon not to be noticed and close enough, to offer him her support. The Jedi that gathered at the ceremony, all loved, liked or, at least, knew Kenobi. Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi who died during mission to ensure the safety of the Universe, as someone said.

What rubbish, she thought. From under her hood, Quella observed those, who were allowed to come closer to the pyre, where the only found remains of the young man were placed. A Padawan braid, the lightsaber and a robe.

Mace Windu observed the crowd as well, from his position as a Council member, but at the same time, his dark eyes always came back to Qui-Gon, who looked pale, serene and drugged with sedatives. At the men's side, Anakin looked around with curiosity of a hyperactive kid. Not that she thought he would behave differently, but still, should Qui-Gon be in the right state of mind, he would have never allowed his Padawan to display such behaviour.

Other Masters showed a whole range of expressions. From sadness, through thoughtfulness to open annoyance at their own helplessness. But all of them seemed sincere, when they came to say goodbye to one of the Padawan's of the Coruscant Temple.

The crowd moved a little, making way for someone to come near the pyre and Quella hissed to herself, seeing who it was. In ornamental robes, with three maids at both her sides, General Princess Kodachi of Alberona stepped onto the platform where remains of Kenobi were to be burnt.

Quella remembered the moment she saw her sister at the space port. Kodachi came quite quickly as for such distance, which was a little suspicious, but right then, Quella didn't spare it a single thought. Her mind was full of plans and projects how to keep Qui-Gon not depressed and healthy, she didn't have time for such details. But when the maids went down the gangway, standing at the sides of the stairs, there were two guests coming down, instead of just one.

Not that Koga Kunein mattered. He paid his respect by bowing low, but that was all Quella got from him; his only interest was where Shakti was held and when he could see her. Not that it was bad in itself, for a second Quella was really happy to know that another bondmate would heal her Padawan. But there were more pressing problems at hand.

Quella's attention snapped back to reality, when she heard her sister's high voice. Kodachi stood near the pyre, with eyes closed and sang.

Anar'Alah, Anar'Alah Belore

Sin'dorei

Shindu Fallah na

Sin'dorei

A song for a fallen warrior, Quella thought and somehow, she felt jealous. And nauseous, both together. She would have never received such honour; yet she wasn't sure she wanted to. Being an exiled princess was nothing, when one had Qui-Gon near…

…who looked into distance with his eyes as empty and serene as a blue sky, equally expressionless…

Under her hood, Quella whined quietly and her eyes started to sting.

*for the purpose of this story, I adapted the suffixes that are used in Japan into Shairaani society... the case is, to be polite, one should use a proper suffix when talking to someone. not using anything means that those two are in extremely good/intimate relationship. alright?

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SPOILER! SPOILER! SPOILER!

During stay on Shairaan, Obi-Wan gets to know that Shakti had already someone chosen to be her bondmate, a freshman in Shairaani Assassins Formation, Koga Kunein. Those two didn't like each other at all, but because of some incidents, Koga agrees (grudgely) to let Obi-Wan take care of Shakti, but threatening that he will get him wherever Kenobi goes if he made tha girl cry. that's why when Koga punches Obi-Wan he says he deserved it, because of the old promise, he didn't fullfil.

during that stay also, it turns out that Endavi fell in love with Obi-Wan at first sight. she tries to kick out Shakti and make Obi-wan stay, but Kodachi and Quella somehow made her let him go. yet, when she gets Obi-Wan injured and dying in her hands, she saves him without thinking, bonding him to herself, even though they were not supposed to bond, as they had different bond factor (to make it simpler - it hurts like hell if you bond with someone with different factor). and as much as Endavi is a sopiled, genius bitch, she took care of Obi-Wan (that's why she didn't attend funeral) and sang until she lost her voice, this way transferring all healing pain to herself. pretty f*cked p, isn't she ;)