A week from the day they'd first spoken, Lina and Ziva again met at the park, this time planning to do their walk together. It was good to be out in the sunshine and Ziva craved the exercise, chafing at the two weeks she had left of doing as little as possible. Lina was good company and kept up a fast pace and they chatted while they circled the large track.
When they needed a breather the women found a bench and Ziva got ready for Chaya to nurse, getting more comfortable every time she did it outside the house. Claire slept through everything and after Chaya had closed her eyes, Lina pulled something out of her diaper bag.
"This is for you."
It was a bottle and Ziva examined it closely. "Thank you Lina, but I am planning to continue breastfeeding."
Lina smiled. "I know, but when you go back to work you'll have to start pumping so you can keep her supplied with milk when you aren't around to nurse." She lifted the tag hanging off the bottle. "It was designed by a mom and is supposed to be the closest you can get to imitating the breast. Even though you're able to breastfeed all the time now, you might want to try just hand expressing some milk to put in the bottle. I'm sure your husband would like the change to feed Chaya sometimes." Lina shrugged. "Or you may want to go out once in awhile and not have to worry about being back in three hours."
Ziva knew Tony would love to be able to be able to feed their daughter. She tucked it into Chaya's bag. "That is very thoughtful."
"I remember how left out Adam felt when Claire was too little to take anything but my breast." She laughed. "The poor man pouted at every feeding for a whole month until I finally broke down and bought a bottle." She patted Ziva's leg. "You may want to have your camera handy."
Once they had rested long enough, both women returned home, having lists of things that needed to be done. Knowing Chaya would nap for the foreseeable future, Ziva shut herself in the upstairs bathroom with the monitor, bottle and a plastic bowl. She stripped from the waist up so she could practice expressing milk. It was harder than she expected and took several tries as she recalled the various information the nurses and lactation consultant had given her in the hospital, but eventually Ziva got the hang of it. When she finally had a few ounces in the bottle, she laughed at the mess she'd made, glad Celeste hadn't cleaned this bathroom the day before.
It was a good excuse to clean and then Ziva hopped in the shower to wash off the milk she'd spilled. A nap sounded appealing after she got out and Ziva curled up on top of the covers, falling asleep almost immediately. She didn't wake until Chaya's loud cries sounded through the monitor. Ziva noticed Chaya nursed longer than usual and she made a point to check when the best time was to express milk so there would still be enough for feeding her baby.
Against what she'd planned, Ziva's attention only stayed on her book for ten minutes after Chaya was asleep before she drifted off and dropped it on the floor. It was Tony's gentle hand on her shoulder that finally brought her back to consciousness. He kissed her cheek. "Enjoy your nap?"
She stretched but made no effort to move. "I suppose, though it was unintentional. How was work?"
"Caught a killer," he shrugged. "Good day in my books."
Chaya started fussing and smacking her lips and Tony went to her, scooping the baby into his arms. "Awake already princess? Mommy's going to think you only love her for the food."
Ziva stood up and smiled. "I have a surprise for you."
He looked interested. "Okay. Before or after you feed her?"
She shook her head. "No, right now." Ziva went to the counter and returned, handing him the bottle. "Chaya is four weeks old," she said simply, "it is your turn." Tony just stood there staring at her until Chaya began crying in earnest. "Feed your daughter Tony."
She watched as he sat on the couch and rubbed the nipple over Chaya's lip like he'd seen her do. The baby latched on with no trouble and began sucking and swallowing, all the while staring up into Tony's face. He blinked back tears but she could hear them in his voice.
"What do you think Chaya? Is Daddy doing okay? I know I don't have as much practice as Mommy, but gosh little girl, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."
Ziva left them to it and went for the camera, taking a few pictures before Tony noticed. He looked up and grinned. "Thanks Zi."
"I am glad you can share it now."
He cocked his head to the side. "You okay?"
She shrugged and sat down in the chair. "It is strange to be over here when she is eating. Lina gave me the bottle. If we like it I may buy more and I will probably express more milk after, so I will not be too full before her next feeding. We will have to get a breast pump eventually I think."
That conjured up odd pictures in his mind. Tony shook his head. "That reminds me, Abby sent a bunch of pictures home, the ones she took at the hospital. Some of them are pretty cute. There's also a CD. They're in my backpack."
Ziva retrieved the photos and began flipping through them. She glanced up at Chaya. "Was she really so tiny when she was born?"
Tony nodded. "Almost a whole pound lighter. But I still think she'd little now."
Ziva went through picture after picture, seeing her and Tony with Chaya, them as a family, each member of the team taking a turn. Then Gibbs. "Oh, I am glad someone captured that moment," she smiled, showing her husband. "I think I will make a copy for him." She set it aside.
"Yeah, Boss is just an old softie at heart."
Ziva snorted. "Do not let him hear you say that."
Tony glanced around nervously. "We're alone, right?"
She came to one of the last photos and studied it. Ziva turned the picture around so Tony could see. "Do you really look at me this way?"
His expression grew serious. "Like you're the center of my whole world? Yeah, I'd like to think so."
Ziva perched on the arm of the couch and leaned over to kiss him. "I think you get points for that."
Tony swallowed. "Do I have enough for a date yet?"
Ziva looked over her shoulder. "You are very close."
He met his daughter's eyes. "Hear that C? Mommy's going to owe me her undivided attention for an entire evening. Maybe we'll get Aunt Abby and Uncle Probie to babysit, huh? And you can play with Sammy." The prospect was something to look forward to.
As Ziva had said, she returned to their bedroom to express more milk while Tony entertained Chaya and they gave her a bath together before reading from a fairy tale book about twelve dancing princesses and putting her to bed. Ziva moved easily into Tony's arms out in the hallway and nuzzled her face against his chest.
Tony kept her by his side as they went downstairs and brought her feet into his lap once they were on the couch. Ziva just smiled and slouched down to get more comfortable and started reading her book. Tony turned the TV on and spent the rest of Deep Impact rubbing his hand slowly over her feet and up her legs, stopping at her knees and going back down.
It felt nice enough that Ziva had a hard time concentrating on the story. The movie intrigued her as well and she eventually gave up on her book so she could see the end. Tony tagged along when Ziva went upstairs for Chaya's dream feed and fell asleep beside her with his arm draped across her stomach. It was the perfect end to the day.
NCIS
After her shower Friday morning, Ziva's hair would not cooperate when she tried to straighten it and finally she dropped the flatiron, flipped off the lights and went downstairs. Transferring Chaya into her carseat and grabbing the keys, Ziva prepared to leave.
"Tatelah, we are going out," she informed her daughter.
Driving to a little shop called Eclipse near where she used to live, Ziva carried the baby inside and approached the front counter. "Good afternoon," the receptionist smiled, "can I help you?"'
Ziva scanned the room. "I was hoping to say hello to a friend. Is Gabrielle on today?"
The lady pressed a button the counter. "As a matter of fact, she is."
Ziva set Chaya at her feet, bracing herself for Gabrielle's surprise. The girl's eyes lit up. "Ziva!" She hurried over with her arms spread out for a hug. "Oh my gosh! Where have you been? I haven't seen you in...wow, almost a year, right? I thought you moved."
Mind racing to find a suitable explanation, Ziva settled for something that was partly truth. "I was sent on an assignment for work." She looked down.
Gabrielle sucked in her breath. "Oh Ziva, you had a baby!" She squatted on the floor to get a better look. Dressed in a pink striped sleeper, it was impossible to confuse the baby's gender. "She's perfect."
"I like to think so." Ziva held out her left and. "And I did move."
Gabrielle's mouth fell open and she propped her hands on her hips. "You got married too? Any other surprises?" She clasped her hands and grinned. "Please tell me it was that guy from work you were always talking about."
Ziva's brow furrowed. "Did I really talk about Tony so much?"
The girl gave her a 'duh' look. "Uh, yeah, you did. So it is Tony?"
Ziva nodded, unable to keep the happiness off her face. "Yes. And it is better than anything I ever expected."
"I'm so happy for you." Gabrielle looked her up and down. "Geez your hair got long. Are you here to make an appointment?"
Ziva flipped some hair over her shoulder. "I just got out of the shower. It is driving me crazy and I was hoping..."
Gabrielle checked her watch. "Y'know what, I'm on my lunch right now, but I'll squeeze you in. What are we doing?"
"I want it cut," Ziva decided. "I am out of patience."
"Okay, well come back with me and I'll at least wet it down before we start."
Leaving Chaya's seat at Gabrielle's station within sight and under the watchful eyes of nearly every other lady in the shop, Ziva settled back and let Gabrielle wet down her hair with warm water. It felt heavenly to have someone else doing her hair and Ziva realized she missed when Tony used to wash her hair after a bath.
They returned to the chair and the girl used a towel to rub the worst of the water out. "Okay, how short are we talking?"
Ziva examined her reflection in the mirror. "Just at my shoulders I think."
Gabrielle eyed the dark tresses. "Are you sure? You're looking at losing about ten inches Ziva."
"I am sure."
"Alright." Out of caution and her respect for curly hair that would look shorter once it dJune 11, 2012ried, Gabrielle made her first cut a little below Ziva's shoulders. After the bulk of the hair lay in a heap on the floor, Gabrielle pinned the top layer up and began working on evening everything out, chatting the whole time.
Less than an hour after her arrival, Ziva was smiling at her new look. Gabrielle had blown her hair dry, allowing Ziva's natural curl to take over. She'd always thought it a shame the woman straightened it. Ziva tossed her head, enjoying the light feel of her hair now.
She turned to hug Gabrielle. "I love it, thank you."
Gabrielle shook her comb. "Don't stay away so long next time."
"I will not," Ziva promised.
Gabrielle grinned. "You can bring this little beauty back for her first haircut in a couple years too."
"Maybe." Ziva wasn't agreeing to anything so far ahead. Saying goodbye, she paid and left Gabrielle a nice tip to compensate for missing her lunch. Feeling too good to be inside, Ziva drove through the city until she found another park and clipping Chaya's seat into the stroller, began walking a route she used to run.
They got back just before Chaya's afternoon feeding and settled on the couch with a TV mystery movie playing in the background. She watched Chaya eat, drawing her fingers over the baby's soft cheeks. "At nifla, ahuvi sheli. You are amazing, my love. What would Ima do without you, hmm?" She kissed Chaya's head. "I cannot even begin to think how empty my life would feel, even with Daddy around trying to fill all the hollow spaces."
When Chaya finished, Ziva didn't move her right away. She was slowly discovering how comforting it was for both of them if Chaya was allowed to remain at her breast, in contact with her skin, and fall asleep to her heartbeat. Doing it all the time would spoil the little girl for sleeping on her own, but sometimes it was alright.
In the end Ziva did lay down for part of Chaya's nap, tired from the long walk earlier. She set her watch for a quarter to five, guessing correctly that Tony would use comp time to be home early enough for Chaya's next feeding. To prolong the inevitable, she pulled her hair into a ponytail and got up to warm the bottle, running hot water from the tap over it until it was a drinkable temperature.
Tony walked in the door minutes after five and she handed him both bottle and baby as soon as he shed his suit jacket. He kissed her before sitting down and getting comfortable. Tony began telling his daughter how Sammy had gotten loose in Autopsy earlier and run in front of Jimmy, who tripped carrying a tray of instruments. When Abby rushed in after him to see what was going on, she ran into Ducky who was trying to help Jimmy up and they all ended up in a pile on the floor with Sammy licking all of them in undisguised glee. Abby put the puppy in time out for three whole minutes until she couldn't stand his whimpering and sad eyes any more. Needless to say, he forgave her.
"And they lived happily ever after. Well, for today anyways," he finished. Ziva chuckled and went upstairs to express more milk and it went better than the day before. Practice makes perfect, or so she had heard.
NCIS
Gibbs stared at Celeste in mild disbelief. "You want to go to a movie?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yes Jethro, in an actual theater." Celeste raised an eyebrow at his expression. "It's not actually painful you know. And there is an advantage to sitting in a dark back row with your date."
That got his attention and Celeste smiled. She knew it was bribery but she'd been wanting to see the movie for weeks and she didn't want to go alone. If she had to put up with wandering hands that reminded her of times long past and kisses that still set her blood on fire, it was a sacrifice she was willing to make.
Gibbs wore a hoody and jeans, shedding his federal agent persona, but not his gun, for their evening out. Celeste settled for a zip up sweater and dark jeans she knew held his attention. She insisted on popcorn to share and Gibbs threw in licorice, knowing her weakness.
They spend the wait sharing about their days and then Celeste missed all the previews as Gibbs made sure she fulfilled her end of the deal. He distracted her completely during the actual movie, always touching her and watching her and trying to find a good time to steal a kiss.
At the end she pushed him away playfully and they headed to the car. Once inside, Celeste crossed her arms and faced him. "It's not going to work."
He glanced at her. "What?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Don't play all innocent with me Jethro, I know what you were doing. You hoped that if you were annoying enough I'd never make you go out to a movie again." Gibbs stared straight ahead but Celeste could read the guilt in his expression. "So next time we'll pick a movie for you and I'll show you how distracting I can be."
Gibbs swallowed and glanced at her. "Always have to win?"
Celeste smirked. "I'm just playing fair Jethro."
He sighed. "Well, at least it was fun."
She slid her fingers over his hand and smiled. "Yes, it was."
Gibbs knew she wasn't mad but Celeste getting revenge was dangerous. He only hoped she wouldn't carry out her threat any time soon because if Celeste was intent on starting something, he wanted to make darn certain they could finish it when they got home.
NCIS
Ziva came out of the bathroom as Tony was getting ready for bed and tugged the elastic out of her hair, running her fingers through it. Tony stopped with his pants half off and stared. Ziva dropped down on the bed and smirked at his reaction. "You got your hair cut!"
She tiled her head to the side and the dark waves flowed across her shoulders like they had years ago when they were undercover. "Is that a problem?"
Tony stepped out of his pants and sat down beside her, running his fingers through her soft hair. "It's short," he pouted.
"It will grow." Ziva's face fell. "You do not like it?"
Tony laid on his back, pulling her on top of him so her hair formed a curtain around their heads. He kissed her. "I love everything about you Zi. This," he held out a piece of shortened hair, "will just take a little getting used to." She smiled and caressed his cheek. Tony did the same. "You're beautiful honey."
Not 'you look beautiful', because appearances could change, but 'you're beautiful', meaning it never depended on how she looked. Ziva pushed some hair behind her ear and leaned down, planting tiny kisses all over his face until she finally got to his mouth. Resting more of her weight on him, Ziva tucked her hands behind Tony's head and let her lips part, giving him more access.
The gentle pressure of Tony's kiss was welcome after being without him all day, but even now Ziva could sense how much he was holding back. She wondered at the self-control it took to keep his hands flat on her lower back instead of sweeping them all over her body as he was no doubt longing to do.
In truth, Ziva had thought about what would happen if she said yes. But at only four weeks it was still too soon and she broke the kiss, sliding off her husband slowly, wishing they didn't have to stop. Tony lay there watching her for several moments with pure, undisguised longing in his eyes.
Then he coughed and buried it, staying on his side where it was safe rather than cuddle up to her and give evidence of how much her mere presence got to him. It seemed so simple to be ready, to trust this man enough to give him everything. But deep in her soul Ziva knew that no single act would ever be so hard or require so much faith in the depth of Tony's love for her. Only time would tell if she could ever be brave enough.