A/N: Hey guys! So sorry about today! I worked really early this morning and didn't have time to get the chapter up. When I got home I had to finish the editing and then I went out with my family before I was ready to post. The original Ch 64 was up for all of about thirty seconds before I realized I'd missed an entire scene and had to take it down. Sorry for the confusion. Hope this makes up for it. Thanks so much for all the support! ~ Love, Aliyah
Ziva awoke to Tony tossing restlessly beside her. That he'd let go of her at all was surprising considering the way they fell asleep, but her heart broke when he thrust his hands out in front of himself and cried. "No, please, don't. Please." The last word ripped from his throat and startled him into consciousness and Ziva was in his arms before he even had the presence of mind to reach for her.
"Shh," she whispered, holding him tightly and stroking his hair. "It is alright, I am here. You are fine Tony." He buried his face in her shoulder and she felt the sobs shake his body. Aching to do something that would help, Ziva had to be content with what she could offer.
Finally he took a deep breath and moved back to see her face, brushing her hair back and looking into her eyes, searching them for a truth only he knew. The kiss that came next did not surprise her and Ziva molded her mouth to his, willing to give as much as she could of what he needed.
Tony broke away and dropped his head into his hands. She sighed, her fingers never leaving his skin as they skated over his chest and arms and back. "Did they shoot you?" Now it was his turn to talk about a nightmare.
He nodded. "No vest this time. And I was trying to tell them they couldn't, that I had a little girl at home, that my wife...but no one was listening and then gun went off and then there was just nothing."
"I could not sleep easily after my first close call at NCIS," she confided, without going into detail about what she had done in order to forget. It was not an option this time. "You do not very quickly forget what it is like to almost die."
"I don't want to miss any of this," Tony whispered hoarsely. "I don't want to miss our marriage or watching Chaya grow up. I don't want to lose this life where I finally know what it means to be happy and loved and proud of something for the first time in a long time."
Ziva wrapped her arms around her husband. "I know, I know that fear. Please remember that you are okay. You came home Tony, that is my gift today. It will be alright."
He lay back down and pushed his hand through his hair. "I'm not sure about that Zi, but if you keep looking at me like that, I'll try a whole lot harder to believe it."
She placed a soft sweet kiss on his lips and settled with her head on his chest and her hand resting on his neck. Tony's arm came around her back and his lips lingered on her hair. "I love you Zi," was whispered into her hair, the last words she would hear until morning.
NCIS
Gibbs wasn't surprised when Tony didn't come into work Thursday. He remembered the first time he'd been shot at after Kelly was born - only direct orders got him out of the house and back to his job. Tony stayed at home in bed with his wife, and Chaya when she was nursing, until noon. At that point Ziva poked him.
"You need to feed me."
He lifted his head from her shoulder and glanced at the clock. "If I must."
"It is not negotiable."
Tony got up and went downstairs, followed closely by Ziva and their hungry baby girl. He looked torn between making them something to eat and feeding his daughter. Ziva shook her head. "Next time." He sighed and got out a frying pan, whipping up omelettes and grilled cheese sandwiches to make up for the breakfast they missed. Ziva gave him the baby when she finished and Tony cradled Chaya against his shoulder, patting her back gently.
"You got a burp for Daddy princess? Your tummy will feel much better without that extra air, I promise." It took a little doing but finally the bubble of air burst forth and he smiled. "That's my girl. Let's go upstairs, huh? Change that stinky bum." Chaya's eyes fluttered and she nestled her head into his neck. Tony hugged her gently. "Yeah, I love you too honey."
Ziva did dishes while she awaited her husband's return and they sat down together, practically devouring the food. Tony was across from his wife, holding her hand and sliding his finger over her wrist, finding comfort in her steady pulse. Because she remembered what it was like to have a close call, to know she almost died, to think that she should've moved sooner or been faster, Ziva did her best to comfort her husband.
After eating they settled on the couch, Tony laying down with an icepack on his bruise and his head in her lap. It had taken some convincing before he was willing to take the painkillers the hospital prescribed, because he knew what he was like on drugs and he wouldn't put it past his wife to videotape the experience if it was entertaining enough. But she promised her lips would be glued and no part of his loopiness would end up on YouTube, so he gave in and swallowed the pills before stretching out along the couch. Ziva scraped her fingers lightly through his hair and he closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. Ziva smiled and bent to kiss his forehead, continuing with the gentle pressure on his scalp.
Tony groaned. "Do you have any idea how good that feels?"
Ziva smiled. "Probably as nice as it is when you do it to me."
He caught her hand and kissed her palm. "Thanks Zi."
Her fingers skimmed lightly over his face. "You are not the only one who was scared ahava."
The only thing that prevailed upon Tony to move was his daughter gurgling in the bassinet and smacking her lips for her next feeding. He sat on the lazyboy side of the couch with Chaya and put the footrest up, holding the bottle for her. The little girl sucked greedily and Tony couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Ziva stood in the kitchen watching father and daughter together before going upstairs to express milk. Her breasts missed when Chaya didn't nurse.
Their evening passed quietly except for when Chaya insisted on exercising her lungs after her second cluster feed. She'd been doing three the last few days so Ziva was expecting a change. When she woke at four am thinking Chaya would be hungry, she was confused to find the baby still sleeping peacefully. Returning to her room and the comfort of Tony's arms, Ziva closed her eyes. Tony nuzzled her neck and drew her close and she relaxed back into sleep. Chaya didn't cry for her food until six am.
NCIS
Ziva wanted to start getting things back to normal on Friday, so after feeding Chaya she kissed Tony on the cheek and left to go for a jog. She didn't push herself too far, only two miles like when she first returned. She got home before her husband left for work and walked into the house just as Tony was pouring himself a cup of coffee.
There was colour in her cheeks and light in her eyes and Tony stood and stared for a long moment until his brain got his feet moving to go kiss her. Ziva smiled and Tony felt like his world started spinning again. "Hi. Nice run?"
"Yes. I love being able to get out now. This is what I have always done." Ziva took a sip of his coffee and kissed his cheek. "I am going for a shower." She raised an eyebrow. "Do not get hurt."
He saluted. "Yes ma'am." Her eyes narrowed and he looked away. "I mean, yes dear." Ziva shook her head and took the stairs two at a time. Watching her go, Tony thought of what he'd seen in her eyes. It was a glimpse of the old Ziva, the confidence that was slowly beginning to return. If working out made that happen, he was all for it.
When Tony put himself on desk duty, Gibbs got concerned and fought the urge to slap some sense back into the man. He watched his agent all day and finally decided to talk it over with Celeste and bring up the subject on Monday if it was still an issue.
NCIS
After she got out of the shower, Ziva dialed the doctor's office and asked for Mandy. The receptionist connected her and after three rings, the call was answered. "Dr. Meyers."
"It is Ziva DiNozzo, do you have a minute?"
Mandy put down her pen. "You've caught me between patients Ziva, what can I do for you?"
The woman rubbed her forehead. "Chaya has been sleeping seven hours at night, should I be worried?"
Mandy laughed. "You should be celebrating! You're one of the lucky ones if Chaya is going to sleep through the night at seven weeks."
"I feel badly letting her go so long without a feeding," Ziva admitted.
"She's cluster feeding at night, right?" the doctor inquired.
"Yes, sometimes up to three times."
"Good, then she's getting what she needs. If Chaya gets hungry during the night, she'll let you know Ziva. If she was only four weeks, I'd be telling you to wake her after four hours, but she's coming up on two months. Relax Mommy, you're doing fine."
Although not completely certain, Ziva felt better getting her doctor's opinion. "Thank you."
Mandy chuckled. "Anytime. I remember those days when every new thing was scary. So enjoy the extra sleep and I'll see you guys next week."
Monday's case kept the team late and Tony didn't make it home until well after everyone's bedtime. Out of the times that he'd come home once she was asleep, something Ziva was getting more used to, this was the one that really stuck out. He watched her from the doorway of their room for a long time after he came upstairs, then finally moved to take his place beside her, kissing the skin behind her ear softly, as had become his signal. Without any hesitation at all, Ziva completely relaxed, her body practically melting into his as he spooned her. Contentment bloomed in his chest and Tony wrapped an arm around her waist, buried his nose in her hair, and fell asleep. Knowing she trusted him was the best feeling in the world.
NCIS
When the baby woke at five am, Ziva was roused from her blissful, dreamless sleep to find her husband close enough to kiss. So she pressed her lips to Tony's cheek, fed her daughter and got changed into workout clothes. She went for a jog and to the pool after for a longer swim than usual. It was incredible how refreshed she felt after a full night's rest. She was not at all surprised to find Tony still asleep when she returned two hours later. She stood and watched him for a moment, then decided to wake him in a memorable way when she got out of the shower.
Feeling completely human for the first time in ages once she had washed and shaved and done her hair, Ziva walked into the nursery and collected her daughter, who was cooing at her reflection in the mirror. She went back to their room and laid the baby, tummy down, on Tony's chest.
Chaya gurgled, slapping her hands on his t-shirt. Ziva kept her palm on Chaya's back so she wouldn't roll off and waited for Tony to open his eyes. He did, still groggy even after more sleep than he'd had in two months, and smiled a little. "Hi princess, couldn't wait to see me, huh?" The baby laughed when his voice rumbled through his chest and Tony and Ziva's eyes met. "First smiles and now laughs C? I don't know how much change Mommy and I can handle." He sighed and lifted Chaya to kiss her cheek. "I love you sweetie."
Ziva held out a bottle and Tony sat up a bit, settling Chaya into a laying down position. After watching his daughter for awhile, he looked at his wife. "Zi, do you ever think maybe I should get a different job?"
Her brow furrowed. "Why? You love working at NCIS."
He glanced away and shrugged. "I don't know. It might be good to do something...less dangerous.
Ziva sighed and drew her knuckles down his cheek. "You cannot let one incident make you afraid."
"But what if-"
She cut him off with a shake of her head. "We have a rule about 'what if', or at least," Ziva thought about it, "we have dealt with them enough that we should have a rule. You cannot think in 'what ifs'." She made sure he was looking at her. "You are a cop Tony, it is part of who you are and part of what I love about you. You made a choice to fight for the victims and the innocent, please do not give up." Ziva kissed his lips. "Keep fighting for them like you fought for me and Chaya, and I will cherish each moment we have together, for however long that is."
Tony squeezed her hand. "Fifty-seven years, remember Zi? You're stuck with me." He looked down at Chaya. "I'll be faster next time baby girl, I promise. I don't ever want someone to tell you I'm not coming home."
NCIS
Later that evening Gibbs and Celeste were in his basement sanding the boat. Celeste had been reading her book but it hadn't taken much coaxing from Gibbs for her to abandon the story and join him. Now he was a couple feet away from her using slow steady strokes with the grain while she waited for him to share whatever was bothering him.
Gibbs sighed. "Tony did not take getting shot well." He'd gone over to her house that night, needing her help getting his confidence back, his hands shaking as he thought about what he would've told Ziva had the worst happened. "He stayed home Thursday and yesterday he put himself on voluntary desk duty. His head's not in the game."
Celeste put her hand on his arm. "Tony has much more to lose now than he did before, it might take him a few days to shake off the fear."
Gibbs dragged a hand down his face. "Don't want to lose any of them Les."
She moved closer and rubbed his back. "I know you don't Jethro, and you've done such a good job keeping them safe so far."
"Getting too old for this," he grunted.
Celeste laughed. "Leroy Jethro Gibbs does not quit. You are beyond a doubt the most stubborn man I've ever known. Now," her expression grew stern, "you will go back to work on Monday and make sure your agent is alright. Then you will do your job and catch the bad guys. And just like always, you will bring your team home safe. Is that clear?"
Gibbs gave her a glimmer of a smile. "Yes ma'am." He moved behind her and held her tight against his chest. "Gonna stick around, right Les?"
She turned to face him with raised eyebrow. "Tonight, or forever?"
He chuckled. "I was kinda thinking forever but if you're offering..."
Celeste shook her head. "You don't need a babysitter Jethro, you've done this without me for years. But I will stay right here until you are okay. And as for the rest, my forever is here." She kissed him. "I love you."
He cupped her face in his hands, pressing his lips to hers, taking all the comfort he could get from this woman he now needed in his life. He breathed his response into her hair. "Love you too."
NCIS
Sunday had been a good day to break out the video camera and record some of Chaya's new behaviours, but that afternoon she woke up early from her nap and none of the usual things worked to soothe her. Finally Tony held her out towards Ziva. "Maybe she needs something to eat."
Ziva rubbed her eyes and sat down on the piano bench. "That is not her hungry cry Tony." He made a face, wondering why he didn't know this. She shrugged. "I have been around her more, I can tell the difference."
Aimlessly her fingers wandered over the keys, pressing them at random. Chaya suddenly stopped crying and looked towards the noise. Tony's eyes widened. "Zi, do that again."
She did, turning to sit properly and playing something from memory. Chaya quieted instantly, staring intently at the instrument as she listened. Amazed, Ziva continued to play through a list of songs in her head before opening the lullaby book from Ducky and singing as well as playing. When she stopped Chaya started crying again, but it sounded different this time and she moved to the chair, holding out her arms.
"Now she is hungry."
Tony watched the process and shook his head. "That was really cool."
Ziva looked up and smiled. "Both of us have sung to her and I practiced on the piano when she was still inside of me. Perhaps Chaya just enjoys good music."
"That's something to remember," he noted, heading into the kitchen to warm up dinner. "You never cease to surprise us little girl. I can't wait to hear what you have to say when you start talking. I have a feeling there's a lot going on in that pretty head of yours. Those bright eyes see everything." Yeah, life with his daughter would never be boring.
NCIS
Monday morning Gibbs stopped at Tony's desk first. "DiNozzo, you good?"
Tony met his eyes, the question unexpected, but it didn't take him long to work out the meaning. "Yeah Boss," he said slowly, rubbing his wedding ring. "You can thank my wife, she put it in perspective."
Gibbs grunted. "Good. Guess we really do need the women in our lives."
The comment shocked Tony but he nodded. "More than we know."
Later, when Tony was gone for coffee and Matt had disappeared downstairs, Gibbs approached McGee. "Book done yet?"
McGee jumped, startled out of his concentration on the computer. He rarely expected to be spoken to. "How-" he began and then shook his head. "Abby. Yes, I finished it awhile ago. It comes out the middle of July. Why?"
"Need a copy," Gibbs said gruffly.
Tim's mouth fell open. "You...want a copy of my book?"
"Signed copy," Gibbs clarified, then sighed and elaborated. "Celeste's birthday is Wednesday, she's a big fan. How much?"
McGee shook his head. "Tell her it's a gift. I'll have it for you Wednesday morning."
Gibbs nodded and turned to go but looked back. "Thanks Tim."
McGee was so surprised he could've been knocked over by a feather. Now there was something he didn't see every day.
NCIS
Tony had only just stepped into the lab when Abby spun around and glared furiously at him. "How dare you!" she cried in outrage, stomping over and giving him a headslap Gibbs would've been proud of. "You idiot! You could have died!" He stood there, stunned, but then the next second she had her arms thrown around him so tight he could barely breathe. "But I'm so glad you're okay." Abby stood back and punched him in the shoulder. "Don't do that again!"
Slightly concerned about her reaction, he tentatively held out a peace offering of No-Caf Pow and rubbed the back of his head, trying not to wince. "For the record, it wasn't on purpose."
She took a long drink and sighed. "I know. But my heart was in my throat and then McGee wouldn't let me go see you in the hospital and Gibbs said you were fine and they sent you home but I wouldn't believe him until I saw you myself. Why did it take you so long to come down?"
Tony checked his watch, two in the afternoon. According to Abby, he probably should've been in the lab by 0700 to show off his relatively unscathed self. So he just shrugged. "Gibbs." Seeing the concern in her eyes, he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her gently, feeling her protruding belly pressed against him. "Don't go freaking the baby out just because of me." Abby made a face and he chuckled. "I'm alright Abs. A few scrapes, one monster bruise, and a healthy respect for bad guys with guns. But I'm all in one piece, I promise."
Abby sniffed. "I was afraid it was going to be like Jenny all over again and I'd never get to say goodbye. I love you Tony. You're the best big brother I could've ever wanted."
"And I'm blessed to have you as a little sister." He tweaked one of her braids. "Tell McGoo not to be too hard on himself, okay? No one saw that coming."
Knowing her husband was struggling with that very issue, she smiled slightly. "I will. But it might mean more coming from you."
Tony nodded. "I'll take him out for a NutterButter later, I don't think he's had his quota yet today."
"Thanks Tony." Abby took a breath and turned back to her computer, all business now that he'd been properly reamed out and forgiven. "Now, about those fingerprints..."
NCIS
Tony came home from work before Chaya woke up and Ziva met him at the stairs wearing a pair of small white shorts that made her legs look like they went on forever and a wide necked grey sweater that was falling off one shoulder. Tony stood and stared at her long enough that Ziva knew she'd made an impression.
With her hair down and curly and a possible 'come hither' smile, his wife was entirely irresistible so Tony didn't even try. He snaked his arms around her waist, claiming her lips. He felt her smirk and quickly slid his fingers under her shirt to attack her ribs. Ziva laughed and squirmed away, swatting him. Tony grinned.
"You're doing this on purpose."
Her eyes twinkled. "And you are not complaining."
Tony brought his mouth to hers again, kissing her breathless, gently sucking on her bottom lip as he pulled away. Remembering that day in the backyard, he took a chance and kept going, softly touching his lips to the corner of her mouth, her jaw, and slowly working his way down her neck. Ziva's eyelids closed and she leaned into him, focusing on the way it felt, her hand sliding into his hair as an encouragement. Tony brushed his fingers over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to the skin.
Ziva's eyes fluttered and had the unfocused look one got when kissing and touching took over the senses. She sighed. "I like that."
He leaned his forehead on hers. "Yeah, I can tell." Tony raised an eyebrow hopefully. "There's more where that came from."
Apprehension clouded her gaze and she dragged one finger over his neck and down his chest. "That may not be a good idea." She smiled a little and kissed him again. "But it is very nice to be wanted."
Tony threaded his fingers into her hair. "I don't think there will ever be a day when I don't."
Ziva stared into his eyes and a small smile touched his lips. "That is how you used to look at me," she whispered, pushing away from the wall. "I think it is time for supper."
Tony stood frozen for a moment, thinking back to their conversation after Abby and McGee's married and pregnant announcement. That she was okay recognizing the look he wore when he was flirting and thinking about more gave him just the tiniest bit of hope. Without arguing with her, Tony followed his wife into the kitchen and got out plates, still lost in thought. Every step forward seemed to bring them to an immediate standstill and all he wanted was the freedom to go full speed ahead just to see what would happen. One day they might get a breakthrough.
NCIS
Much later, after their baby girl had been tucked into her crib for the last time that night, Tony came downstairs with a blanket and flashlight and held out his hand. Come outside with me Zi."
It would do no good to ask why, not with his eyes twinkling like he had a surprise, so Ziva slipped her hand into his and walked with him into the backyard. Together they spread out the blanket on the cold grass and Ziva copied Tony by laying flat on her back and looking up at the stars. The moon shone white against the dark sky and she smiled.
"It is beautiful."
Tony folded his fingers between hers. "It's the biggest full moon of the year tonight." She moved closer, resting her head on his shoulder. Tony shifted to put his arm around Ziva and turned to breathe in her hair. "What's your favourite constellation?"
Ziva searched the sky and sighed. "Orion, I suppose. My nickname in Mossad, when they dared to give me one, was The Hunter. I never lost a mark."
He tried to lighten the moment. "I think of Men in Black every time someone mentions those stars. 'The galaxy is on Orion's Belt'."
She rolled onto her side, placing her hand over Tony's heart. "And yours?"
Tony looked up and pointed. "My astronomy knowledge only ever got me as far as finding the Big and Little Dippers. As long as I see something I recognize, I'm happy."
For a brief second one of the pinpricks of light in the heavens came to life and shot into the night, a bright trail marking its path. It was gone before they could blink but both Tony and Ziva had caught the moment. "I have not seen a shooting star in years," Ziva said softly. "I love the stars. They are so bright in the dessert, but I never got to look at them...last time."
"Now you can," Tony whispered, lifting her hand and kissing her fingers, not wanting her thinking about Africa, "anytime you like. The backyard is all yours." Ziva snuggled against him and they stayed there on the blanket until their eyes started getting heavy and it became time to go to sleep. That was one of the most peaceful nights either could remember.