Heyy guys :D

I had so many reviews and story alerts when i woke up this morning, my smile was huge! :)

I'm glad to see that people liked my 'Skins' inspired elements.

I feel the need to say that a few chapters back I also used a qoute from South of Nowhere.

So for the record I unfortunately do NOT own: Victorious, Skins or South of Nowhere.

Reviews are welcome as per usual :D

I've been standing outside Beck's RV for ten minutes now, maybe I should have texted him to let him know I was coming over; maybe then I would be able to think of something to say; wouldn't be hesitating outside his door. It's a very rare occurrence for me to be completely lost for words. But how can I explain my actions to the one boy I had ever loved? How can I possibly find a reasonable excuse for having cut him out completely? Taking a deep breath I remind myself that it is simply Beck, and I am Jade West, I can do anything I put my mind to. I bash on the door aggressively before pulling it open; I never used to wait for him to invite me in and don't see why I should start doing so now.

"It's me." I state simply upon entering.

"Jade!" he exclaims "I thought you had forgotten about me" he tries to make it seem like a joke but I can hear the pain in his voice. Internally this cuts through me like a knife, but I refuse to let it show through.

"Well you know me, such a busy social bee that I just can't find a way to divide my time between my oh so many friends" I reply my voice drenched with sarcasm.

He rolls his eyes and leans into his wardrobe to grab a shirt, "sorry I'm so underdressed I wasn't expecting company." Until he said this I had been unaware of how inappropriate it actually is for me to be in his company whilst he is only wearing boxer shorts, maybe I won't tell Tori about this.

"Sorry" I mutter blushing slightly and turning away.

"Relax Jade it's nothing you haven't seen before" he smirks "unless there is a reason you shouldn't look? Maybe you're seeing someone else?" A jolt of panic hits me, jeeze it didn't take long for him to bring that up.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. But seeing as we are not together I shouldn't be looking at you like that anyway." I state flatly.

"You know what Jade I think maybe it's hot enough today that I leave my shirt off, what do you think?" he asks raising his eyebrows at me. Fuck he really knows how to get to me. And still seems to think that he can seduce me. But I'm not going to give in, I don't want him and i also dont want him to know that it's Tori I'm seeing, not yet.

"Whatever. How have you been anyway? You could have made an effort to come and see me you know, instead of moaning about me to Vega" I try to issue my usual level of venom when pronouncing her name, and seeing him shake his head I assume I have managed to do so.

"Jade I have tried to contact you. I've texted you so many times, how can you possibly have not noticed?" he exclaims.

"I- err -I guess that I have just been busy." I stutter in response.

"Cut the bullshit Jade, I know you are seeing someone else so why can't you just man up and admit it?" he half shouts angry now, then adds in a softer tone "I'm still Beck, you can still trust me. You know that right?"

"I trust you Beck so I'll tell you that yes I am seeing someone. But you have to realise that I don't have to tell you everything anymore. That's one of the perks of us not being together."

"Oh trust me Jade I'm not getting any 'perks'." He sounds disgusted at the word "I guess I was still hoping we might get back together. I still love you." These words make me flinch, "is it the girl who you left me for?"

"Yes. Yes it is. I'm sorry Beck I love you to so much, just not the way you love me. I really like this girl, no I- I'm starting to love her. We won't be getting back together. This isn't some argument that we can fix. This is me, it's who I am, and who I love, and you can't just try to 'fix' me. It doesn't work like that."

"What was I too you Jade? Some kind of joke?" he's angry now "You broke up with me and practically cut me out of your life for some chick who you are supposedly 'starting to love' but you won't even man up enough to tell me her name!" I don't even realise that my hand has risen until I feel it make contact with his cheek. "Just leave" he growls "I hope the two of you are very happy together, but she will never be able to give you the things I would have been able to; been able to love you how I could have. I would have given you everything, but now I can see that you aren't worth it."

I'm frozen to the spot; I have never hit him before; through all of our previous heated arguments not once had I even considered actually hurting him. But something inside of me snapped the moment he began to talk about Tori. Hell he didn't know who he was talking about. I know for a fact that he has a very high opinion of Tori, they are such close friends that he would never knowingly refer to her as just 'some chick'. But would he still regard her as such if he knew the truth? That is why he can't know; I care too much for both of them. I don't want Beck to feel betrayed and I don't want Tori to feel guilty. I am not worth risking their friendship over.

"Get out Jade!" he screams now; I have never seen him this angry. "I can't do this Jade, I really want to but I can't so don't talk to me until you are ready to tell me the truth." I feel tears threatening to leave my eyes as I walk away from his RV, but I don't want to cry in public, I've got to get home first.

Upon arriving home I head straight for my room and collapse on my bed and finally allow tears to overcome me. He seemed like he hated me, the way he looked at me with such a level of disgust as I left; it's not right. But I had hit him, why would I do that? I know I am aggressive; but I'm not normally violent, not towards people I care about. What is happening to me? I have hit two people in less than 24 hours, this isn't like me. I have never been this protective of anyone, I thought I was bad with Beck; but I realise now that I had merely been paranoid that I would lose him. With Vega it's different, whilst the idea of losing her still terrifies me; I also feel the need to protect her from anything and everyone who could possibly hurt her. God I wish I could see her now, but she deserves to be able to spend the day with her friends. I don't want to take that away from her. For now I must remain content with just texting her.

Hey beautiful

Hope you are having fun,

How is Dani's face?

Things with Beck did NOT go well.

Can't wait to see you later.

Love you J xxx

Barely a minute passes before she replies.

What happened?

Trina just rang me up ecstatic

Saying something about Beck asking her out!

I'll be round at 6 Babe.

Keep smiling

Love you

Tori xxx