A/N: I just want to thank everyone who took the time to leave feedback; I really and truly appreciate it. Thank you for reading and thank you for caring about this story. I don't really feel like I can preface this chapter with anything else without spoiling it, so I'm just going to put it out there. As mentioned your feedback means a lot so if you have a moment to do so please leave a comment or review or send me a message on Tumblr (shesamarshmallow), it would really make my day.
Raven can't stop smiling at him and it's not like he wants her too. Bellamy loves that smile, he always has. He'll never forget the first time he saw her smile at him. They were in class and he made a joke their teacher didn't appreciate very much. Raven liked it though, she turned around to give him a smirk and he wished he could see her smile at him like that forever. He'd missed that more than anything in the years they'd spent apart but here she was sitting across from him at the breakfast table smiling at him.
She told him already, that's why she's smiling. She meant to wait for Clarke but she had worked late last night and wasn't up yet. She didn't want to wake her but she also didn't want to wait to tell him that he's going to be a father. She could tell as soon as the words left her lips that he wanted to yell with joy but thought better of it. Clarke needs her sleep, they both know she works long hours and has another shift tonight. He gets up from his chair and runs over to Raven pressing kiss after kiss to her cheek. He's ecstatic; she expected nothing less.
They decided almost two months ago that they wanted to have a kid. Then they had a decision to make about who should carry their baby. Raven as it turns out was Clarke's first choice. She explained the apparently "no brainer" decision to Raven and Bellamy one evening over dinner. Raven owns her own shop; she can do what she wants. With her job she gets no paid maternity leave, she said it just didn't make sense for her right now. She would love to carry a child one day but right now it would be her honor for Raven to carry their first child. Bellamy and Raven had no arguments, Clarke's reason was logical and really it didn't matter to either of them. The baby was going to be theirs no matter who the biological parents were.
"She's going to be over the moon you know," Bellamy says, the smile still plastered on his face.
"I hope so, I almost want to wake her up right now to tell her."
She doesn't wake her though. They wait another two hours for Clarke to wake up on her own. Bellamy passes the time by throwing out baby names to see which ones Raven will go for. He's really getting ahead of himself considering she's only 4 weeks along but he can't help himself, he's excited. He resists the urge to call Octavia and tell her the good news right away. Clarke should definitely know before his sister does, no matter how excited she will be for Kya to have a playmate. He types up a text message and erases it a few times. He kind of wants to tell Octavia in person anyway. He thinks about stopping by her place later, the good thing about Octavia is that he's never needed an excuse to go visit her. Stopping by unannounced is hardly out of the ordinary for the Blake siblings.
When Clarke finally makes her way into the living room Raven and Bellamy are tangled up on the couch, cuddling. She snaps a picture on her phone; they look too adorable for her to pass up the opportunity. That will make an excellent background picture for her phone she thinks, grinning at them. Raven's wide smile doesn't go unnoticed by Clarke as she makes her way toward the couch to join them. She's grinning from ear to ear and while it's not abnormal to see Raven smile at her, it's certainly suspicious. It's the middle of the day on a Sunday she can't think of any reason for Raven to look at her like that, besides the obvious fact that she loves her more than anything.
"Hey love," Clarke greets her, giving her a peck on the lips as she squeezes in between them on the couch.
Bellamy throws his arm over Clarke's shoulder and kisses her cheek. He's also smiling at her like she hung the moon and she's ready to know what's up.
"Do you want to tell her or can I?" Bellamy asks, looking in Raven's direction.
"Go ahead," Raven lets him have this moment. She got to tell him and the look on his face was priceless.
Clarke's back is toward her now as she stares intently at Bellamy, waiting for him to share whatever it is he's got pent up. Raven knows she'll turn around though as soon as he says it.
"Raven's pregnant."
He doesn't say anything else; he doesn't have to.
Sure enough she immediately whirls around to face Raven. Clarke throws her arms around her neck and kisses her softly on the lips. The smile on her face is as bright as the morning sun; Bellamy can remember few other times he's seen her this happy. Their relationship has been filled with joy but this has Clarke beyond exuberant. She turns back to Bellamy and gives him a celebratory kiss on the lips as well. He's going to be a dad and she's going to be a mom and Raven's going to be a mom too and this might be the best day of her life. She had imagined having her first child with Bellamy differently than this, but this is definitely better.
After a few more kisses Clarke pulls out her phone and starts tapping on the keypad.
"Hold up," Bellamy stops her before she finishes dialing the number she has typed into her phone, "Should we tell people yet?"
Clarke smiles at him; "I'm actually just calling work to see if someone can cover my shift tonight. This is news worth celebrating."
Bellamy and Raven both have the night off and Clarke so doesn't want to go to work. She's too excited; she just wants to spend the whole night celebrating with her two loves. This is the beginning of a new chapter in their lives and you only find out you're going to be a mom for the first time once.
She's practically jumping for joy when she hangs up the phone and Bellamy knows she must have found someone to cover her shift. Clarke sits back down between Raven and Bellamy and puts her hand on Raven's abdomen. She knows she's not that far along but that's her kid in there and she's too excited to care that there's nothing to feel just yet.
"Can I just tell my mom?" Clarke asks after a few minutes.
"Only if I can tell Octavia," Bellamy agrees.
"Go for it," Raven agrees, "I'm not the superstitious type."
Clarke has mentioned the 12-week rule to both Bellamy and Raven multiple times, but she just has to tell her mother. As they both start dialing Clarke looks over at Raven and the realization that Raven has no one to tell hits her. They are Raven's family; the two of them and this baby are all Raven has in the world. She doesn't hit call. She takes Raven's hand in hers and gives it a squeeze.
"You can tell Abby," she says, smiling at the soon to be mother of her child.
Raven smiles back at her, a really and a question mark are caught in her throat. Clarke is sure she can see a few tears forming in the corners of Raven's dark brown eyes. She loves Raven; she would give her anything in the world, even the opportunity to tell her mother about her first grandchild.
Clarke can feel butterflies in her stomach as the phone rings. Even if she's not the one to tell her, she's excited for her mother to know her joyous news.
"Hello?" Abby's voice comes through the speaker; Clarke put the phone on speakerphone so they could all hear her reaction.
"Hey Mrs. Griffin, it's Raven and Clarke's here too," Raven greets her excitedly.
"How are my favourite daughters?" Abby asks them.
"We are doing great and we have some news for you."
"Good news I hope?"
"We're pretty happy about it," Clarke informs her mother.
"You're going to be a grandmother Abby," Raven blurts out before she can get another word in.
Bellamy comes running back into the living room when he hears Abby shriek through the phone.
Clarke is surprised they didn't hear Octavia do the same until Bellamy mouths that she didn't pick up.
Raven is smiling from ear to ear when Abby finally lets them hang up the phone. They couldn't hang up until they told Kane and made plans to have lunch sometime this week. Abby promised to bring them all of Clarke's old baby clothes. She was excited, that much was obvious.
"Thank you," Raven whispers in Clarke's ear, placing a kiss just below it.
"I have never loved either of you more than in this moment," Bellamy announces.
"Just wait and see how much you love her after she spends hours in labor," Clarke jokes.
Clarke has seen many fathers in the delivery room. She knows Bellamy is up to the challenge though. Raven is strong but luckily for him not strong enough to break his arm, he'll be okay.
Bellamy finally got a hold of Octavia the next day when she called him back after hearing his excited voicemail. She of course was overjoyed; Clarke and Raven got to hear that shriek into the phone after all. Clarke is pretty sure she will never stop referring to herself as Aunt Octavia from here on out.
Clarke laughs when she refers to herself as Auntie O when she greets them the next Saturday at her house. Octavia tells the three of them to savor every moment and that time flies, she can't believe it's already Kya's first birthday.
Clarke follows Raven and Bellamy into the backyard. There are a few adults already sitting around the yard in lawn chairs chatting. There are kids running around the yard too, she sees a couple that are around Kya's age and some older kids as well.
Lincoln works as a youth counselor at the local community center and she recognizes a few of the guests as co-workers that he introduced them to at their wedding.
"This is my brother Bellamy," Octavia says to a group of older ladies who Clarke assumes are her co-workers.
Bellamy sticks out his hand and smiles at the women.
Clarke winks a thank-you at Octavia when she fails to introduce her and Raven to the other party guests. Clarke loves Bellamy and Raven but explaining their relationship to strangers is her personal hell.
She sits down on the grass in the corner of the yard and reaches out her arm to pull Raven down next to her. Raven entwines their fingers and gives Clarke a kiss on the cheek. The day is overcast but it's warm enough to enjoy being outside. They both smile when Kya comes crawling over to them, followed by Octavia. Clarke stretches her arms out and scoops her niece up in her arms. She smiles over at Raven. In just about 8 months it will be her own son or daughter in her arms; she hasn't stopped thinking about that for a week. She's felt so many feelings since she found out the news but mostly a mixture of nervousness and excitement.
"You are both going to be awesome moms," Octavia speaks up as she watches Clarke make faces at Kya.
Ever the over confident one Raven replies with, "I know" and smirks at her.
Clarke snorts, "I love you."
"I love you more babe."
They laugh as Octavia feigns disgust at their show of affection. She's a bit of a romantic herself but Raven definitely out does her in that department. The women sit for a few more minutes gabbing about baby this and baby that when Bellamy joins them. He sits on the grass a foot or two away from Raven. Clarke knows he's keeping his distance for her. If they were alone he would have given them both a big, wet, sloppy kiss by now. She loves him more for every time he doesn't kiss them in public when she knows how much he wants to. He loves her too much to do anything with the potential to hurt her.
They all watch as Kya crawls over to her Uncle Bellamy. He easily lifts her over his head and tosses her in the air. They're both giggling as he catches her in his arms. Clarke knows her child is going to feel that same joy someday soon.
The afternoon is spent watching Kya stuff cake in her face and open presents. She has more fun ripping off the wrapping paper and playing with the boxes than with the actual toys she's given. Raven laughs at how similar babies are to animals in that respect, her cat growing up always loved cardboard boxes. It only takes a few hours and Kya starts to get fussy and needs to go down for a nap. Clarke, Raven and Bellamy all give the birthday girl a kiss goodnight before Lincoln whisks her away.
As the sky darkens and the party winds down Clarke, Bellamy and Raven make their way back to Octavia and Lincoln's front porch. The clouds that threatened them all afternoon have finally given way to the storm brewing inside them. Rain pelts the ground and Bellamy frowns, neither of them likes driving in the rain. Bellamy throws his jacket over Raven's shoulders, neither her nor Clarke thought to bring one today and Clarke insists that Raven stay dry and warm.
Clarke and Raven both nominate Bellamy to drive. Clarke gives up the passenger side to Raven and tosses her the blanket they normally keep in the backseat.
"Clarke you're soaking wet babe, take the blanket," Raven argues.
"My kid needs to be warm more than I do," she insists.
Bellamy smirks; he knows this won't be the last time he hears Clarke give up something so that Raven and their baby can have it. Raven doesn't even put up a fight; she knows she won't win, not when it comes down to Clarke protecting their kid. She just pulls the blanket up over her chest and blows Clarke a kiss.
The windshield wipers are working overtime and Bellamy is surprised he can see anything. It seems to have gotten darker since they left and they are still more than ten minutes away from their apartment.
The last thing Bellamy sees is blinding headlights out of the corner of his eye. He hears the terrifying sound of metal crashing into metal and screaming before he blacks out.
Clarke hears the ambulance and people yelling as she drifts in and out of consciousness. She can't move or see anything. The last thing she remembers is a flash of light. She just lays there waiting for something to happen, for someone to tell her that she's okay, that they're all okay.
Raven sees the same flash of light; it was hard not to turn her head as it barreled toward them. The sounds she hears as they get hit are the worst things she's ever heard in her life and then everything is black and silent.
Well Bellamy comes to he can still taste blood on his lips. If he looks anything like he feels he's sure he must be unrecognizable. He's alive though, at least he thinks he's alive. He looks around the room; it's stark and white, very bright. The light coming through the curtains is practically blinding him. It must be morning is the only thing he can think at first; until he remembers Clarke and Raven and begins to shout loudly for help.
A nurse responds to Bellamy's cries for help almost immediately. She checks his head and he winces. Everything hurts.
"Where are…uh…the girls that were in the car with me?" he asks her.
"I'm sorry sir, I don't know. I can ask the doctor for you. You were lucky though."
That doesn't make him feel any better. He just needs to know that Clarke and Raven are okay, why the hell doesn't this lady know?
It seems like an eternity before the nurse returns with an older gentlemen who Bellamy presumes is his Doctor. He better have information or Bellamy is going to lose it on him.
"Mr. Blake," he starts and Bellamy assumes the paramedics must have found his wallet. "I'm very sorry."
Tears start streaming down his face before he even knows what the Doctor has to say. He prays he's come to tell him that he'll never walk again or that they'll have to amputate his arm or something. Anything but what he knows he's really sorry about.
"Just tell me," he screams at the man in the white coat when he doesn't continue immediately.
"One of the women in the car with you didn't make it. She was killed on impact. I'm sorry for your loss Mr. Blake."
He lets out a pained scream and the nurse gasps. She watches as he tears at his hair roughly. He's stuck in this bed and all he wants to do is run and scream and cry.
The Doctor is still staring at him. "Sir, we weren't able to identify the body. They didn't find any readable ID at the scene."
The way he says the body makes him cringe. He's talking about one of the loves of his life and it's so cold. She was a person, not a body.
It hurts to exhale but Bellamy tries. He needs to do anything to stop himself from exploding on the man and woman that stand before him.
"Tell me what she looks like," he manages to choke out, his voice cracks and the tears are still spilling from his eyes.
He only has to say "long brown hair" and Bellamy knows. He swallows the scream in his throat hard, he can't have a meltdown; not here, not in front of the Doctor. He just wants them to go away but they're waiting for him to say something.
"Raven Reyes," he says solemnly, "her name is Raven Reyes."
The Doctor nods, not wanting to say anything to make the situation any worse. He still has something to say though; Bellamy can feel it. He stares at the broken down young man in front of him.
"She was pregnant," he blurts out, not wanting to prolong the inevitable any longer.
"I know," he sniffs out.
"I'm very sorry," the doctor says again, as if his pity will do anything to help Bellamy in this situation.
"Just leave," he cries. He doesn't want to look at them anymore.
The doctor and the nurse do as they're asked. He obviously doesn't have any injuries they need to attend to immediately. Bellamy's head falls into his hands. The tears fall from his eyes, burning his skin as they pour into the cuts on his face. No one comes in to check on him for hours, the doctor must have warned everyone to leave him alone with his grief. He wonders about Clarke but doesn't want to invite anyone back into his room. He can't stand to see the pity on their faces. He doesn't think he could form his thoughts into words even if he wanted to at this point. He lays down and wills his body to drift into sleep, anything that might help him forget the last few hours. He suspects though that he will be haunted by nightmares anyway, and he's right.