Disclaimer/Warning: I know no bounds.
Pearing: My tree died.
Summery: "There are rules to this, you know." The genie glared at her. "Three, in fact. You may not wish for someone to fall in love, or mess with love. You may not wish for someone to revive from the dead, and you may not wish for more wishes." The woman deadpanned. She was a sarcastic, lazy, smart-ass.
"Fine. I wish for more genies." And to think it all started with a pendent. From Pendent to Genie to the Naruto world. Just another uninteresting summer day.
Notes: DOOM DADA! I seriously stay up late making these stupid chapter. You better love me...I didn't mean it chapters! I love ya~...not you reading this.
"Talking"/ 'Thinking' / RANDOM VOICE THAT TELLS US WHAT TO DO / Normal writing / tail beast talking
Satsuki and Jin had headed out one last time before they choose a time to reappear in again. Their goal this time was to find the Sannin... are we talking about sand in or the three weirdos? 'Weirdos. Definitely them, though I do kind of want to play in some sand.' Same. Well, they went out and searched around for a couple of days...because finding them in under an hour kind of seemed wrong this time...Kind of...Only.
They had bumped into Tsunade first, literally. Satsuki didn't really see where she was going and Jin didn't feel the need to tell her that Tsunade was right there...Fucking asshole of a sensor. Satsuki had face planted right into her chest...that started to FUCKING SUFFOCATE HER! MAKE IT STOP! Oh...right...I'm the writer. Tsunade was shocked for a second before a tick formed above her eyebrow. Satsuki struggled to get out of the boobs of suffocation. She tried to struggle out, grabbing and pushing against Tsunade's chest. Then, she transformed into a man to see if her face was a little smaller to squeeze out. Eventually Tsunade had had enough and just punched him out and into a couple of trees.
"FUCK!" Whoosh goes Satsuki. Thunk goes him too.
"YOU LITTLE PERVERT!" Tsunade had fire in her eyes and her hand clenched at him. Satsuki was terribly offended at this.
"I am not little I will have you know! I am 5ft 10in!" As an afterthought, Satsuki added, "I am not a pervert either." He held his head and leaned back...it was one hell of a punch. Maybe he had a concussion. Jin sighed and rolled her eyes as she watched. Tsunade just got red and I swear you could see the firey pits of hell behind her...To bad Satsuki can't read the atmosphere much...or...well..he ignores it mostly.
"Then what where you doing grouping me?" Tsunade stalked up to him. Satsuki held his head as his eyes teared up.
"I was running and didn't see you, asshole. You didn't need to suffocate and punch me." Satsuki slowly sat up and rubbed his back. Tsunade got another tick above her eyebrow. She went in to hit him again, but this time he saw it coming and quickly ran behind Jin.
"Jiiiiin! Save me," Satsuki whined. "She's being mean to me!" He pointed an accusing finger at Tsunade. Tsunade just blinked before her anger came back.
"You little-"
"I'm not little!" Jin sighed and stopped the urge to bang her head against something...preferably a tree.
"All right! That's enough!" Satsuki pouted before he straightened and sighed.
"Fine." Tsunade blinked before she cooled down as well.
"Who are you?" Jin grinned as Satsuki blanked his face and lost interest.
"I am Jin Takahashi, and this is Satsuki." Tsunade frowned for a minute before she spoke up.
"Satsuki? Isn't that a girl name?" Tsunade started to laugh before she saw Satsuki change back into a woman.
"Your point?" Tsunade's jaw dropped as she blinked.
"I seriously need more sleep," Tsunade said as she pinched the bridge between her eyes.
"Nope~ You're seeing right," Satsuki happily sung. "What are you doing here all alone?" Satsuki didn't notice before, but now she seriously did now that she stopped and looked; Tsunade looked a lot younger...if you could actually tell anyway. The only reason they could was because the author said so. Tsunade tensed at Satsuki's question, and discretely went into a defensive stance. No ninja would have noticed...good thing that Jin and Satsuki are not really ninja, they just knew the arts of one. Satsuki blinked at Tsunade before-
"Calm your tits lady." Tsunade fell on her head. That was an epic face-hit-ground. She should do it again. "We just wanted to know what the hell you were doing out here alone during the whatever it is third war." Satsuki wrapped her arm around Jin's shoulders and leaded lazily forward. Tsunade calmed down and looked at them. They didn't have any headband, hell they didn't even look like ninjas.
"I am not alone. I have two friends with me." Tsunade spoke slowly to see what happened. Satsuki just nodded.
"Maa~ Who are your friends? What is your name anyway?" Jin spoke lazily. Tsunade was a bit surprised that she did not know who she was, but not too upset. They didn't look like enemies, didn't feel like it either. She took a risk.
"My name is Tsunade." Satsuki nodded as she yawned. It was getting pretty late, and the only thing she did not deprive herself of is changed into a man again.
"That's nice, do you know where we can go sleep?" Tsunade studied them for a minute before nodding.
"Follow me, but any funny business and I will not hesitate to kill you." Jin and Satsuki just blinked at her.
"And? I want sleep," Satsuki whined again. Tsunade's eyes widened before she nodded and motioned for them to follow her. They were very close to the desert, so Satsuki guessed that they would try and stay in the foliage of the trees for as long as they could. It was really hot out. Not as bad as the humidity heat. At least this one was more dry. Satsuki had changed back into a man out of boredom by the time they had reached where her two teammates where. Who knew that it was boring in this world sometimes? Actually...it was kind of the same in every world...
When they came up, Jin and Satsuki saw young Orochimaru and young Jiraiya talking. When the other men noticed that they had arrived, they stopped and looked. Satsuki looked around before looking back at Tsunade. Tsunade, on her part, just ignored the two men and turned to Jin and Satsuki.
"You can sleep here for the night," she said.
"I call the tree!" Satsuki happily jumped into a tree and found a branch he liked. He then proceeded to ignore everyone and pull out a blue whale blanket and pillow from nowhere. He wrapped himself in it and curled up.
"The hell?" Jiraiya stared at Satsuki. Orochimaru was just as dumbfounded. Jin turned to Tsunade.
"Thank you for letting us stay here for tonight." She glanced over at Orochimaru and Jiraiya before staring at them with a slight frown. "I am Jin Takahashi and my friend that just ignored you all was Satsuki." There was a pause.
"Isn't that a girls name?" Jiraiya started to laugh at Satsuki, before a twig was thrown his way.
"Aren't you a bit girly for your name?" Jiraiya puffed up his chest and started to speak before Satsuki interrupted him. "Don't give a shit."
"Jin, these are my teammates. Jiraiya, " Jiraiya smiled really big at her. "and Orochimaru." Orochimaru just assessed her.
"How can we be sure that you are not our enemies?" Orochimaru narrowed his eyes at Jin before looking over at Satsuki. Jin just squinted her eyes and tilted her head. She completely ignored his question and proceeded to screw with them.
"You look familiar." This was going to be fun. They both had yellow eyes and black hair. They even looked a bit like they were related...wait...she could use that. "Hey...wait." The others stared at her with curiosity before she smiled really big. "It is you, Ochi-nii!" was the scream before Jin tackled him. There was a dumbfounded silence before someone spoke up.
"I don't have any sisters! Especially ones with horns!" Jin just ignored him and started to huggle him. Orochimaru on his part just tried to push away. Tsunade and Jiraiya started to laugh hard.
"You do look alike, 'Ochi-nii'," Jiraiya pointed at them as he laughed again. Tsunade just nodded her head, to busy clutching her sides to speak. Satsuki huffed in her tree and sat up really quick. He looked around for a giant branch to throw at them.
"Shut up! I don't have any sisters!" Orochimaru struggle to get out of her grasp, and failed...not in epic style either. Jin gasped before tears started to form into her eyes.
"Y-you mean...you don't r-remember me?" She sniffed before she got off of him and tackled Tsunade next. "My own brother doesn't remember me!" She started to cry crocodile tears into her shirt. Tsunade just patted her as the boys looked on in confusion and dumbfoundation again. Satsuki had enough of her dramatics. He threw a small stick at Jin and then a giant branch at Orochimaru.
"SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!" He stuck His tongue out at Orochimaru before snuggling back into His cocoon.
"You little-"
"Why does everyone keep saying that I'm little?" Satsuki pouted and finally just decided to ignore them. There was a second of silence before Jiraiya started to laugh even harder...until he was hit by a giant stick as well.
The birds were chirping happily and loudly in the morning. The sky was bright and cloudless, and the wind was high that day. It was a perfect day...for people who hated rain. Actually it was not that bad of a day because of the wind, but listening to rain was better. Satsuki woke up and looked around before going back to bed because everyone was still sleeping. The next time he woke up, someone was walking around. He looked up to see Orochimaru marching around the campsite. He sighed before he got up and sealed his blanket and pillow. He yawned quietly before he jumped down and walked up behind Orochimaru silently.
"What are you doing?" Satsuki yawned again as Orochimaru jumped and spun around.
"What-" Satsuki cut him off before he could do anything else.
"I already asked you a question." Satsuki raised an eyebrow at him.
"I do not have to answer you." Orochimaru glared at him. Satsuki blinked before he yawned again.
"Asshole. You were the idiot to wake me up," he glared lazily back at Orochimaru. "It would be nice to know why I was taken from a perfectly good nap to find this." They had a glaring contest...that Satsuki didn't know they were having. He thought it was just a staring contest. It was to bad that he had gotten bored. Satsuki kept his staring going as he changed back into a girl. Orochimaru paused and then jumped back.
"What the hell!?" Orochimaru's eyes were as wide as saucers. Satsuki smirked and lifted up her chin in victory. "Stop that stupid henge," Orochimaru glared hard at her. Satsuki raised an eyebrow.
"What's a henge?" ...Yeah she kind of forgot what all the names to the special ninja 'powers' were. Oh, well. Orochimaru looked like she was stupid for a second.
"Everyone knows what a henge is. What? Are you an idiot, too?" Orochimaru gave a smirk that she ignored. She just stared blankly at him. Getting tired of the silence, Orochimaru spoke again. "So you are." She continued to stare at him. He was really stupid. 'More so than that.' I think that he is worse than what you are...and that is saying something. 'Yeah...at least I am better. Hey, Goku?' What, hairless ape. 'Sooo, am I better than that hairless ape?' That one? Yes. 'Yes!'
Orochimaru got annoyed with all her staring and finally snapped at her. "What the hell are you still staring at?" He frowned at her. "And stop with the illusion. It is obviously you are a boy. All you did was add a chest to your body and soften your features up a bit." Satsuki blinked at him.
"The hairless ape really is stupider than me." Satsuki walked away from the gaping fish...I mean Orochimaru and over to Jin. Maybe he is more of an ugly snake instead of a hairless ape...well he is at some point. "Hey," Satsuki poked her. "Hey." She poked her again. "Hey." This kept up for a while, before Jin snored and Satsuki got bored. Orochimaru was doing an amazing picture of a fish out of water. Finally Jin woke her ass up after a few more minutes of Satsuki poking her. The other two people that I am to lazy to spell their names out that were sleeping, got up.
Satsuki turned to face Tsunade and the other white haired guy. She paused as an idea formed into her head and she followed Jin's example.
"Are you supposed to be my brother or something? Because you are doing a shitty job at it," Satsuki deadpanned as she raised an eyebrow. White haired guy looked at her in suprise.
"Okay, I can believe Jin and Orochimaru, but not you and me." White haired guy frowned.
"Yeah, I am a bit too fabulous for you," Satsuki nodded sympathetically. Tsunade laughed out as ugly snake was still gaping like a cod fish...haha captain hook... and White haired guy started to do some stupid looking dance and introduce himself as something, but Satsuki was bored and it was to early to care so she ignored it. Oh well. They talked a bit before Satsuki got distracted with something shiny in the desert that they were close to and jumped after it. Jin followed shortly, having enough of the Sannin.
Shiny things are very important, so it was perfectly reasonable to follow one if you found it.
It was Sasori. Sasori was the shiny thing in the desert. Satsuki was disappointed. Jin was ecstatic. Weird Jin.