Author's note: This chapter is a little heavier than the previous ones. I used information from some very helpful people about their therapy experiences to form this chapter. If you think something needs more information or completely fixed, please feel free to let me know.

Trigger warning for this one. There's an allusion to Cato's abuse. Not explicit, but still present.

Happy reading.

Chapter Thirty-One

Katniss sat in her car and stared at her phone for several minutes. She didn't know what to do. She could go home and wallow in all the truth that she'd admitted to and she was sure it would be easy to get lost in it. But she also knew that if she just went home and got lost in this, she would be useless.

She found Peeta's number and let her finger hover over it for several breaths before she finally pushed it and held the phone to her ear.

His voicemail picked up. "Hey, you got Peeta Mellark here. If this is bakery business or an emergency, please call the bakery number. If it can wait, just leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

"Peeta, it's Katniss." She didn't know what else to say. She sighed. "I'm coming over. I'll be in your house."

She drove across town and pulled into the driveway behind the bakery. She walked up to the front door and stuck the key in the lock.

Peeta called, "Katniss!" He ran across the road and stopped in front of her. He placed his hands on her waist. "Hey, what's up?"

She shrugged and unlocked the door. She walked inside and he followed, still holding one hand on her waist.

"How was your session?" He asked, trying again.

She dropped her keys and her purse on the floor and kicked off her shoes as she walked toward the couch. She pulled Peeta down with her as she sat. "I just need you to hold me for a little while."

"I can do that." He wrapped his arms around her and reclined on the couch. He smoothed his hands over her back.

She pressed her eyes into his shoulder and breathed in the scent of flour and yeast and sugar that clung to his clothes after even a few hours in the bakery. It was calming and comforting. She took several breaths and then looked up at him. "Dr. Flickerman said that it would probably be pretty hard."

"Yeah."

"I was waiting for this to come to a head. I didn't realize it would take so long." She pressed her eyes in his shoulder again. "You can go back to work whenever you need."

"I'm good for now. But what about your work?"

"Gale can take care of it. I'll call him in a little bit." She took another deep breath and let it out. "And he can watch Caleb for the afternoon."

"If you need to stay, you can. Stay as long as you need." He combed his fingers through her hair.

Katniss was completely spent, drained of all energy from the morning talking about her issues. She hadn't planned on saying so much today, but something had sparked and she had spoken at length about the night Caleb was conceived. She closed her eyes tighter as the memory hit her again.

"You're soaking my shirt." Peeta said softly. "You want to talk?"

"I've talked enough for a while. Just hold me." She sobbed. "Hold me tighter."

He tightened his embrace. "I got you, Katniss. I'm here."

She cried out everything and was even more exhausted. She fell asleep on his chest. He held her for a while longer. He gently moved from underneath her. Her phone was ringing in her purse.

"Will you answer that?" She asked. Her eyes were heavy and nearly shut. "And if it's about Caleb, could you send Gale?"

"Sure thing." He took her phone out of the side pocket and saw Gale's name. "It's Gale."

"Answer." She rolled over.

Peeta slid the button over to answer. "Uh, hi, Katniss's phone."

"Is this Peeta?"

"Yeah. Katniss is…" He looked over to the couch. Katniss's shoulders raised and lowered slowly in her steady breathing of sleep. "It was pretty rough today, apparently."

"Okay. Well, just let her know I'll get Caleb and take care of all the coaching." He paused. "Take good care of her, will you?"

"I'll keep an eye on her."

"Thanks. And have her call me when she feels up to it so we can discuss some stuff."

"You got it." He hung up and sat the phone on the coffee table. He kneeled by the couch. "Katniss, do you need anything?"

She didn't respond.

He squeezed her shoulder and stood. He found a blanket and draped it over her. "I'm going to run back over to the bakery for a bit. I have some stuff to put in order. Then I'll be back."

"Kay."

He smiled. "Your phone is on the coffee table. Call if I'm not back and you need me. Make yourself at home." He kissed her temple.

She rolled over. "What did Gale want?"

"To check on you. He said he'd handle the coaching and Caleb."

She nodded and closed her eyes again. "I just need to not feel so tired."

"Rest, Katniss. You're safe here." Peeta leaned down and kissed her forehead.

A relieved smile spread across her lips and her face relaxed as she dozed off once more.

Katniss awoke in a fog to the sound of pots clanking around in the kitchen. She sat up and rubbed her face. She looked at her phone. It was nearly one.

"I can't believe I slept that long." She said.

Peeta sat a cup of tea in front of her and went back into the kitchen. "I can't either. I was beginning to worry."

"And yet you had tea ready for me." She picked up the cup and brought it to her nose.

"I saw you stirring. Are you hungry? I've almost got lunch finished."

"I guess I'm hungry." She stood on shaky legs and walked into the kitchen. "I don't know what I feel. Numb, I guess." She sat the cup down and leaned against the counter, crossing her arms.

"Can I do anything?"

She shook her head. "Just what you're doing."

He kissed her temple. "Just let me know."

"I will." She looked down. "You talked to Gale, right? That wasn't a dream?"

"Yeah. He said he'd take care of today. And that he'd get Caleb. And he said he wanted you to call him when you feel up to it."

She nodded. "I feel like…foggy. I don't know." She rubbed her face. "Tired still."

"Yeah." He poured a jar of sauce into the noodles on the stove. "Here, maybe if you eat a little." He spooned some onto a plate and stuck a piece of cheese bread on the side. He held it out.

"I'm not hungry."

"Katniss, please."

She sighed and took the plate from him. She sat down and waited for him to follow. She took a bite.

"So is everything okay?" Peeta asked softly.

Katniss shrugged. "I don't want to talk."

"You don't have to talk. I just want to know you're okay."

"I'm fine." She pushed her food around on her plate. "I think."

"I know your therapist is the one you're paying to talk to so you can work all this out. But if there is something that comes up that needs more than the hour… Just know that I'm here for you."

"Thank you. I know you are. I just don't want to dump it all on you. It's not your problem."

He squeezed her shoulder and then rubbed her back. "I know. And I'm always willing to let you cry on my chest."

She nodded. "Can I spend the rest of the afternoon on your couch? You can go back to work. I just don't want to go home."

"Sure. Make yourself at home." He went back to his lunch, but she gave up on hers. She sat the plate on the counter next to her tea cup and went back to the couch. She pulled the blanket over her shoulders and stared blankly at the wall.

Peeta washed up and leaned over Katniss. "Call me if you need. Or come find me. I'll keep Cal out of your hair."

"I'll be fine."

"I know. But if you want to be alone, I'll find her a place at the bakery to hang out."

She nodded. "I may just go curl up in your bed and close the door."

"That would be okay, too." He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Just take care of yourself, Katniss."

"I don't know if I can."

"You have to try. For Caleb."

She nodded. "For Caleb." She rolled over and faced the back of the couch.

Peeta rubbed her back and then left for the bakery.

Katniss stared at a stain on the cushion. Time became nothing. She heard the door open. Callie called a greeting and then went to the kitchen. She rolled over and watched as the girl made herself a sandwich and headed back for the door.

"Calliope?" Katniss called.

She turned and smiled. "Hi again. Daddy said you weren't feeling well." She held out her sandwich. "Peanut butter and jelly? I can make another one."

"No, thanks. You going back to the bakery?"

"Yeah." She took a bite of her sandwich. "Dad said not to bother you."

Katniss nodded. She sat up and patted the cushion beside her. "How was school?"

Callie sat beside her. "It was good. Why are you sick?"

"I'm not exactly sick." Katniss patted her back. "You remember when I told you about that mean man?"

Callie nodded and took another bite of her sandwich.

"I'm seeing a therapist, a doctor that you talk to, to help me. And some days I will talk about things that hurt. And today was one of those days."

"Where's Caleb? Why didn't he come home with me if you're here?"

"He's with Gale. I'll talk with him about it later."

Callie nodded again. "Are you going to stay for supper?"

"I think I'll head home in a bit."

"Okay. I'll go back to the bakery. Dad said to leave you alone and I already disobeyed him." She stood and turned. "The other day on the phone? When you said you love me?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really? Or were you just saying it because Daddy says it to Caleb? Because you haven't said it to me since then."

Katniss grabbed her hand. "I do love you, Calliope. You are very special and very important. And I love you. And don't you ever forget that."

"Do you…?" She swallowed. "Do you love my dad?"

"I don't know." She squeezed Callie's hand. "I'm trying to work on it, though. Okay? So maybe I'll figure it out. I promise, whatever happens with me and your dad, you and Caleb come first."

"What does that mean?"

"I means that if your dad and I stop being friends, I'll still want to spend time with you and Caleb will still come here to spend time with you and your dad."

"But, Katniss, I want you to be my mom."

"I know. But I can't be. Not right now anyway."

Callie nodded. "Okay."

Katniss pulled her closer. "Look, we're all going away this weekend. And we're going to have some fun and be a family for at least a little while. So cherish that, okay? Because it's all I can give for now."

Callie nodded again and walked out the door without another word.

Katniss sighed. She picked up her phone and sent Peeta a text. "I'm going home. Thanks for letting me crash at your place for the day. I'll see you Friday."

"I'll text and call between now and then, just so you know." He responded.

"I look forward to it."

"Love you."

Katniss stared at the screen for a long time before she responded. "I know you do."

"Tell Caleb hi for me?"

"I will." She drove home and started supper.