The words bounce around in my head, and my body goes into a state of shock; Beck knows about Jade and I. He knows we are together and neither of us told him. Sure I haven't liked him for a while now; but deep down within his shell of hate is a sensitive caring guy. A guy I used to consider one of my closet friends, who used to feel the same way about me. I think I can pretty much guarantee that is no longer the case.

"Tori please don't hate me!" Trina's voice pleads, but I seem to have forgotten how to speak; how to even respond.

"Tori look at me" Jades voice says slowly, "it's going to be ok." As her voice penetrates the shock I am feeling and somehow gives me a small sense of calm.

"How can it possibly be ok?" I squeak finally regaining my voice. "What did he say Trina?"

The look on my sister's face before she hangs her head tells me that he did not react well.

"H-he wasn't happy Tor; he went a bit crazy actually. He kept muttering about love and betrayal. I asked him what he meant by 'love' seeing as we were supposed to be together. And then he started saying other things." She pauses and takes a deep breath, raising her head so she is once again at eye level with me."Things about you Tori, things that I do not even want to repeat. And then I snapped, he said one thing to many and I flipped out. I-I think he is going to have a black eye." A noticeably large smirk erupts on Jade's face as Trina says this. "Then I left, but on my way out he grabbed my arm and told me that 'I was deluded to think he actually cared about me; and that the only person he loved was Jade.' I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you Tor, you were right all along. And so is he, I am deluded, no decent guys ever stick around with me." She is struggling to keep her voice even but silent tears are beginning to glide down her cheeks. This sight alone is enough to make my own eyes begin to well up.

"Trin, I-I'm not mad at you" I stutter, my voice is cracking as I speak. "I'm mad at myself, I should have told him. And don't think like that Trina, you are amazing and it is his loss, one day things will work out for you."

"It's not your fault, either of you." Jade's voice slices through the tender sisterly moment we are sharing, "I am the reason he is acting like this. I am the one who asked you not to tell him Tori, it's all my fault. I have hurt you Tor and I never wanted to do that! I didn't even want to hurt Trina! I am so sorry" he blurts out in a rush. A pained expression crosses her face briefly before she puts her mask of indifference back on; I know how hard it must have been for her to say that; given how rarely she apologises.

"Look us standing here trying to figure out whom to lay blame on isn't helping anything. Especially when nothing that has happened is anyone's fault! But right now I need to go and talk to him." I say climbing out of bed and grabbing my clothes from earlier off of the floor.

"There is no way you are going on your own." Jade states.

"Jade please I need to do this."

"No Tori, we both know that he is not his usual self. And there is no way in hell I will let you risk getting hurt."

"Jade, I am a big girl. I can look after myself. He deserves for me to at least talk to him!"

"You are not going alone." She repeats in a growl.

"Fine come with me then! But you are staying outside. I need to talk to him alone, but that way you will know if I need help.

"Fine." She echo's my words; it is clear that she is still unhappy about the situation, but I think she has also realised that I am not willing to change my mind.

In the brief silence that follows our disagreement we hear the front door click open; signalling the arrival of our parents. Shit! I am still grounded, how on earth am I meant to get out of the house without them noticing? Trina's eyes meet mine and she must realise what I am thinking.

"They want to talk to me anyway; about last night. I think I can buy you half an hour, and even if that isn't enough time to speak to Beck, it will at least give you two a chance to get out of the house unnoticed. I know this doesn't make up for what I did, but it's a start." No sooner than she has said it; she gets up and exits my room. Barely a minute passes before we hear voices begin to raise. I pull on my clothes and lock eyes with Jade, grabbing her hand we head off together.

The walk to Beck's RV should take no longer than fifteen minutes, but due to the silence between us it feels far longer. I am terrified of how he could react to me turning up but I do not want Jade to know this. I'm sure that her thoughts are similar. When we arrive outside I look to her to assure her that everything is alright, I squeeze her hand and lean up to peck her on the cheek.

"I will be back out soon, don't worry I will be fine." I smile to mask my true feelings and walk towards his door. With a final backwards glance in her direction I take a deep breath and knock twice.

"It's open." His voice grunts from inside, there is nothing left for me to do; I have to face him now. I push open the door and edge into the room pushing the door closed behind me. His back is to the door and as I am yet to speak he is unaware that it is me.

"H-hi Beck; I-it's me T-Tori" I stutter stumbling over my words.

His head snaps round and his eyes lock on mine. He looks furious, but also broken. So broken that it hurts me to think that this is my fault.

"What do you want?" he growls.

"I think we need to talk. That I need to explain." I mutter trying to stay calm.

"Oh so now you want to talk? Tell me Tori, how do you like being with her? She's great in the sack isn't she? I bet you are real proud that she is yours now!"

"Beck-" I start, but he cuts me off

"No Tori, I don't want to hear it, she was mine! I love her! You were meant to be my friend! When did this start? Were you fucking her behind my back the whole time?

"No! Beck I would never do that to a friend!" I exclaim, tears threatening to leave my eyes.

"Don't you dare call me a friend! I thought that losing her would be the hardest thing I would ever experience. But this is so much worse; the pain I am feeling right now must be worst pain in the world. It goes beyond the physical pain. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel. Do you want to know what it is Tori. It is the betrayal of a friend."

"I never meant for this to happen Beck! I never planned on falling in love with her!" I wail his every word feels like a knife wound.

"You think that you 'love' her?" he laughs in my face as he says it. You have no idea what it feels like for me to love her Tori. Being without her; it hurts to breathe. It hurts to live. I hate her, yet I do not think I can exist without her. I love her Tori, you do not get to." His eyes are glaring into me; the expressing on his face is pure pain.

"I do love her Beck. And I'm not sorry for that, the only thing I am sorry for is hurting you. If I didn't feel like that about her there would be no way I would even consider having starting anything. But I love her so much, I really do."

"I love her too Beck." Jade's voice sounds from behind me.