Chapter 5

She moved back a little so that she could sit more comfortably, and pressed her hands to his chest, a tactile reminder that he wasn't alone. He looked away, unable to meet her eyes. She let him, gave him that bit of control, knowing this would be difficult enough.

He took a deep breath and was comforted by the weight of her body against his. "Mostly the places are different,; we could be in the Hinterlands, the Storm Coast..." he swallowed hard, "The Fade." Her touch moved firmly over his skin, but he barely felt it, he was lost in reliving the nightmare.

"It always starts the same. You're walking next to me, and I know there are others from our group behind us, though I never see their faces. Then a cloud rises up, thick and black, twisting and grasping. I try to move back, to warn you to run because I don't want to see you swallowed up by my darkness, but I can't speak or move.

Then it's curling around me, cold slick feelers that rip and claw at me, reaching inside of me, until it takes me over." He was being dragged under, could feel the cold seeping into him. He pulled frantically, why couldn't he move?

"Bull, I'm here, it's all right, I'm right here with you. It can't touch you, you're safe." She kept repeating the words, over and over as she stroked his chest in a soothing manner, wanting to ease the trembling in his limbs.

The memory of the nightmare eased as the warmth of her body pressed against his. He could feel the heat pushing against the cold, forcing it away until the noise in his head became her words. For a moment he felt disorientated, a lingering sense of the darkness, so he focused on her touch and soft voice to help anchor him.

"Kadan." His voice sounded rough to his own ears as he turned his head towards her. A stifled sob broke the silence as she reached under his shoulders to hold him tightly. "I'm sorry, Bull, I should never have pushed you." He felt the wetness of her tears as they ran against his neck.

Abruptly she let go of him and reached for the night stand, her hand closing around the small key that would give him his freedom. But even as she straightened, he was speaking. "Don't." He drew in a deep fortifying breath and then let it out, "Leave them on."

Her hand wavered, the key almost at the lock, then she put it back on the night stand and sat down on the bed. Bull watched her, noting the way the moonlight had turned the tracks of her tears to pale silver streaks. He wanted desperately to wipe them away, but she was on the right path and he needed to stay in these restraints until she'd broken through.

"I don't think I can do this, Bull. I thought I could be your strength as much as you've been mine, but it hurt so much to see you lost and tormented. I can't watch you suffer any more."

Bull felt as if his heart had just curled up and died in his chest. He should have known this would be how it ended. What woman could put up with his constant tossing and turning at night, his mood swings. Hell, she'd lasted longer than he thought she would. But he needed to hear her say it.

"You're ending the relationship?" He tried hard to keep the pain from his voice, but somehow it still crept in. He felt a stinging slap on his arm and looked up, surprised at her reaction.

"How dare you suggest that I would leave you now, or ever! But especially now, when you need me." Her eyes glittered with anger as she once more straddled him, her hands pressed flat against his pectorals. Then she met his gaze, saw the sadness mixed with a small amount of hope and her face softened.

"You said you couldn't do this, I assumed..."

"You foolish man, I love you too much to leave you. I just meant that I didn't want to cause you any more pain." She bent her head, and he surged up, his mouth covering hers in a passionate kiss that left her breathless and wanting more.