Devon smiled when her client walked in Tuesday morning. "How are you doing Ziva?" After their last session when everything crashed and burned for awhile, she was planning to monitor the woman very closely.

Ziva shrugged. "Just trying to keep up."

"Oh?" Devon raised an eyebrow. "Care to elaborate?"

"Tony and I are...making progress," she said slowly, choosing her words carefully.

"Such as?" the doctor prompted.

Ziva sighed. "I shower with him now, often, and we have tried baths as well. Last week I...wanted him to touch me." She smiled slightly, recalling the memory. "His hands are so gentle Devon and sometimes I am not afraid at all. But then something happens like he will get too close to me when naked and it is as if nothing has changed."

"What are your triggers?" Devon wanted to know.

That took some thought. "Feeling him pressed against me, if his hand is too close to private areas, attempts at intimate touching after a nightmare." And those were just the few that came to mind right away.

"Any of those this week?" she inquired.

"One," Ziva answered tensely. Devon waited and she made a face. "I saw the wrong scene in a TV show, Tony came home in the middle of my panic attack. That night I did not sleep well."

Guessing that was a gross understatement, Devon moved on. "Tell me something positive Ziva."

She drew her knees up and studied her fingernails. "It is personal."

"We've gotten personal before," Devon felt compelled to remind her, feeling intrigued now.

Ziva didn't meet her eyes. "I touched him, Saturday night in the shower. I have not...that is the first time."

The doctor's eyebrows rose. "Touched or pleasured?" It was an important distinction.

"Both," Ziva confessed in a whisper, colour rising to her cheeks.

"Don't tell me that's not progress," Devon said softly. "Good for you. So now what?" Ziva frowned. "You've come this far, things are definitely heating up between you two. What's next?"

Ziva twirled a piece of hair around her finger and took a deep breath. "I think I'm going to have sex with my husband."

She looked a little shocked that she'd said it out loud and Devon stifled a chuckled. "Did you just decide that now?"

"Yes," Ziva admitted, "but I mean it."

"Do you have a plan? Are you just going to go home and try to sleep with him tonight?" Devon knew she was nowhere near close to being ready to initiate that kind of intimacy.

"No," Ziva shook her head and bit her lip as she thought about it. "However, if something happens I will not try to stop it."

"That's very brave," Dr. Andrews commended. "Just be careful to temper your expectations Ziva. Deciding you're going to be ready for this doesn't necessarily mean your body will cooperate with you. Be prepared for setbacks, but also seek to take pleasure in being with Tony. You have both waited so long for this to be okay."

With those words in mind, Ziva returned to work and tried not to let her eyes stray too often to Tony. He knew her too well and she was not yet ready to let him read the resolve in her heart that would soon change everything they'd been up to this point.

NCIS

Wednesday during lunch hour found Tony sitting on Devon's couch and leaned over with his elbows digging into his knees. He chuckled self-consciously and ran his fingers through his hair. "This is really awkward."

Devon smiled sympathetically. She'd been shocked when he showed up because Anthony DiNozzo was the last person she expected to see on a Wednesday, even if she did reserve an hour for the couple each week whether they decided to use it or not. "What can I help you with Tony?"

"I can't seem to do anything right with Ziva!" he blurted out.

Devon frowned. "From what I understand, you've done very little wrong. Did I miss something?"

"She's still scared," Tony said hoarsely. "I've tried really hard to be patient, to do only what she can handle, but then I push a little and she's back in Somalia. I can't see her in that kind of pain anymore, I can't!"

His words made her heart ache and Devon set her clipboard down. "Healing is painful Tony. Especially with what Ziva experienced, it can't be anything else. But just like a broken bone takes time to mend and broken ribs hurt every time you take a breath, the things Ziva is dealing with hurt now, but they'll hurt a little less the longer she's home and loved. If you stop because it's hard, this may be as far as she gets. Could you deal with that?"

Tony lifted his eyes to hers. "Do you think we'll ever be normal?"

The therapist sighed. "What is normal Tony? If you mean do I think you and Ziva will eventually have sex, then yes. If you mean do I think her scars and memories will eventually fade, then yes. What do you want normal to be?"

He swallowed hard. "I want Ziva not to be afraid to love me, to touch me, to have my hands on her body. I want to stop being so careful and just be able to enjoy our marriage without having to wonder what is coming next. I want us to be comforting and loving and reassuring and everything we both need. Is that too much to ask?"

"No," Dr. Andrews replied, "it's not too much to ask. Look at how far you've come in ten and a half months. Can't you see that ten and a half months from now, everything you hope for you and Ziva may already have happened?"

Tony sighed. "It's hard to imagine that far in the future when I can't see past tomorrow."

"None of us can," she reminded him gently, "but that doesn't mean it won't be worth working for."

His head came up. "Ziva's worth it. Chaya's worth it. Our marriage is worth it. I won't give up."

Devon tilted her head and looked at him carefully. "I wonder how many times you've promised that in recent months. What do you think you're worth Tony? I believe it's time someone started making promises to you. Don't you ever get tired of giving?"

"Yes," he answered honestly. "But look how much I'd lose if I stopped now."

"You didn't answer the other question," Devon pointed out.

"What am I worth?" he spread his hands. "Hard to say when no one ever taught me. But I hope, I want to be worth the commitment Ziva made to me, the trust she's given, the child she's letting me share."

Shaking her head slowly, Devon leaned back in her chair. "They underestimate you. I don't think anyone gets to see the real you. They need to give you more credit."

Tony smiled faintly. "I'm a year into changing the reputation I've spent a decade building. I don't expect them to see me with new eyes yet. As for the real me? Only my wife and daughter need to see him, because that's the man I want them to remember."

He stayed longer than either of them thought he'd last and the weight in his chest felt a little bit lighter when Tony finally returned to his desk. Watching the stairwell door for his wife, he felt a tingle of anticipation from Devon's encouragement. Tony looked forward to approaching every day as if it was the someday he'd been hoping so hard for.

NCIS

Ziva hesitated outside the doors to Autopsy, still fighting the desire to run back upstairs to her desk, but she had to know. Edging closer, she watched as the doors whooshed open. Only Dr. Mallard was inside, sitting at his desk as he pored over a report. At the familiar noise, he looked up and smiled kindly.

"Ziva, do come in. Would you care for a cup of tea?"

The woman made her way over to his side and nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "No thank you Doctor."

He raised an eyebrow. "After six years can I not convince you to call me Ducky like everyone else?"

Ziva shook her head. "Not always."

Ducky gave her his full attention. "What's troubling you?"

She squeezed her eyes shut, briefly reliving both examinations she'd been subjected to by this man. First under Gibbs' orders and secondly, before she found out she was pregnant. Swallowing hard, Ziva looked at him. "Did you test my blood Doctor, when they brought me back?"

Confusion claimed his expression. "I tested your blood several times Ziva, most recently to tell you the news that you were with child."

"Yes, but did you..." she wasn't sure how to say it. "Have I been tested for any diseases from the camp?" Ziva blurted at last.

The light came on in Ducky's eyes. "Oh my dear, have you been worrying about that since December?"

The shake of her head was jerky, almost like a spasm. "No. Just since...yesterday," she finished in a whisper.

Making the decision that she was actively going to prepare herself to make love to her husband was one thing, but then doubts had begun swirling around in her mind, along with unwanted memories of all the men in the camp who had used her for their pleasure. A question had suddenly flared before her, lit up as if with neon lights and Ziva knew she could not even think of letting Tony get that close to her without knowing that she wouldn't be endangering his health in any way.

"What brought this on, if I may ask?" Ducky inquired.

"That is personal," she replied tersely. "I just need to know."

"Sit down," he requested, opening the door of the supply closet to get what he needed. Ziva eyed him warily when she saw the needle and Ducky put his hand on her shoulder, something he wouldn't have been allowed to do six months ago. "I looked for a great many things both times I examined your blood Ziva, but I'd like to draw a new sample and answer your question from that. May I?"

Looking away, she offered her arm, not showing any reaction when he slid the needle slowly into a vein on the inside of her elbow. Ducky took six vials of blood, labeled them, and sealed them in a clear plastic bag. Sensing her concern, he knew exactly how to reassure her. "I'll send it out to the same lab Jordan uses, alright? The results should be back in two days, depending on their backlog. I can always speed up the process, if necessary. Jethro is not the only one who knows people in the right places."

Ziva held the cotton ball over the small hole and nodded once. "Thank you Doctor...Ducky." They sat in silence while she waited for the blood to clot and then threw away the evidence. She could not go back upstairs with a bandaid on because Tony would notice and ask and she wasn't ready to answer his questions, not today.

Ducky smiled when she stood, great compassion for the young woman filling his heart. Her team leader was not the only man in the building who cared deeply for her and what happened to her. "Try not to worry." The words were placebo only, Ducky knew Ziva would think of little else for the next forty-eight hours.

NCIS

He was right, of course. Doctor Mallard was seldom wrong and sometimes it was a burden to bear instead of a gift. Ziva was noticeably quiet for the remainder of Wednesday and disappeared into Ops' clutches the moment Gibbs allowed his team to leave the squadroom. She worked hard, ignored Duke's comments about her intensity and showered at the gym. Tony was disappointed, of course, hoping for more time to explore as they had been doing. But Ziva barely said at word to him at all and acted very gingerly with their daughter, almost as if she didn't trust herself. She donned long sleeved pyjamas at bedtime despite the temperature outside and shifted away from his touch, like she might somehow get him dirty just by being too close.

Tony was frustrated, thinking they were past all this hiding and keeping things from one another. So the next morning before she could leave on her run, he reached for her, wrapping his hand gently around her wrist, ignoring when she flinched. "Tony, please," she begged, not letting him get a good look at her eyes. They both knew he was right in what he'd said, that her eyes never shut up and right now she couldn't bear for him to see what they might have to say.

"Ziva," he said softly, "it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

She pulled away abruptly. "That is not what I am concerned about."

He took in her posture, her attitude, the difference in her body language. She was regressing, hard, and Tony had no idea how to stop it. "What then?"

"It is not me I am worried about hurting," Ziva whispered, an echo of a long ago conversation they'd had about Jeanne.

"Zi, let me in, please. I feel like I'm losing you and I don't even know why."

She shook her head, tears shimmering in her eyes. "I cannot...I cannot." She grabbed her clothes and locked herself in the bathroom within seconds, leaving him no time to go after her. But Tony wasn't giving up and he was waiting there when she came out, dressed for exercise, her hair up in a severe ponytail that was just another of her tells about not being alright.

Without asking permission because they were far past that now, Tony put his arms around Ziva, holding her firmly against his body and not giving any ground in her struggle to be released. She fought him for ten seconds, fifteen seconds, and he almost let go when she suddenly stopped trying to push away and instead buried her face in his neck and held onto him for dear life. Tony kissed her head and whispered nonsense he wouldn't remember later against her dark hair. Finally Ziva pulled back and touched his face with a look that reminded him of their bathroom scene after Somalia. Then she left quickly and he was at a loss for how to help.

Thursday evening was no different, except that she worked out longer than usual and spent a long time in Chaya's room, watching her daughter sleep and breathe and listening to the little noises she made, before coming into their room. Tony eyed her with apprehension when it seemed as if last night were doing to repeat itself, but this time when she laid down, she reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers. "That is all I can give," she said softly, her chocolate brown eyes meeting his for barely a second. Then, offering no explanation for her behaviour, Ziva closed her eyes and pretended to sleep and Tony felt like they were back to those first two weeks and he was lucky if he was allowed to be in her personal space, let alone getting to touch her.

By Friday Tony was planning to trap them both in the elevator for as long as it took for her to open up, even if it meant that half the building had to take the stairs to get their coffee. But mid-afternoon Ziva got a phone call and took off without saying a word. She stepped into Autopsy a few minutes later and glanced around, relieved to find the room void of his assistant. Ducky noticed her scan. "I sent Mr. Palmer up to entertain young Abigail and Tamara."

Ziva's forehead wrinkled. "Is that Tami's full name?"

Ducky tilted his head. "I'm not certain. But considering that the Hebrew translation means 'twin' and she is one, I thought it was appropriate. But that is not why you came down here."

She shook her head. "No. You called?"

"I did. And I wanted to give you the results in person." Fearing this would be like last time, Ziva clasped her hands in front of her. Ducky smiled gently. "You are fine Ziva. Perfectly healthy and remarkably so considering all you went through. Regardless of what you suffered at the hands of those charlatans, the only thing they sent you home with was a baby, not any disease or sickness that can be transmitted to anyone you care about, intimately or otherwise. Rest easy my dear, your blood is clean."

Ziva closed her eyes in relief, fighting the tears that wanted release. "Thank you Doctor," she answered, spontaneously hugging him before she took the stairs back to her floor. The bullpen was empty except for Tony, and Ziva was glad to not have an audience. Without warning she marched straight over to him and kissed him deeply, her hands feeling the familiar warmth of his skin and basking in the touch she'd deprived them both of since Wednesday. Tony, in complete shock that she would so blatantly express affection at work, or at all considering the last couple days, still managed the slide his arms around her waist and return the kiss, having missed her as much as she missed him.

Finally they broke apart to breathe and Ziva pressed her lips to his cheek. "I love you." She went back to her desk and sat down, eyes fixed on her computer. Tony watched her for several moments, dumbfounded, and though he knew they needed to talk about whatever had been doing on that was apparently no longer an issue, for the moment he just sat back and pondered the fact that even if he were married to Ziva for fifty-seven years, he would still never understand women.

NCIS

Later, after their daughter was tucked into bed and fast asleep on her side, Tony sat on the bed waiting for Ziva to be finished in the bathroom. She came out in a spaghetti strap tank top and shorts, with a pale pink silk dressing gown on over top, still rubbing lotion into her hands. She frowned at his serious expression and lowered herself beside him. "What?"

"We need to talk."

Ziva visibly tensed. "Now I know why men prefer not to hear those words."

He brushed his fingers over her knee, testing her reactions. Nothing changed, in fact, she might've relaxed minutely as his skin rubbed hers. Ziva wasn't scared or uncomfortable with his touch, that was a plus. "Want to tell me what the last couple of days have been all about?"

She looked away. "Want may be too strong of a word."

Tony picked up her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist. "Tell me what's going on Zi, please."

Ziva sighed and looked down at the bedspread, one finger tracing the pattern. "We are getting closer."

He frowned. "That's a problem?"

She shook her head. "No. But sometimes I think about how few steps are left between what we are doing and what we have never done. This time I found a question I was afraid to have answered."

"Zi, you're not making much sense."

Meeting his eyes, Ziva tried to put it all into words. "Thinking about the possibility of becoming intimate with you made me realize that I did not know if I was safe."

Tony was still not following. "Safe?"

Ziva sighed. "Things can be passed between people during sex Tony, dangerous things. And I could not be sure I was not carrying something within my body that might hurt you."

His eyes widened. "Oh my gosh. That never even crossed my mind."

She shrugged. "Mine either, until this week. So I asked Ducky to test my blood. I have waited these past two days for the results, and because I was unsure of the answer, I was afraid to let you touch me or have you too close."

"Oh Ziva." Tony gathered her into his arms and buried his face in her hair. "I wish you'd told me instead of keeping that all in your head."

"I did not know how to tell you. The last thing we needed was one more reason not to be together."

He pulled back and kissed her slowly. "I love you. And I know we can fight any obstacles life throws at us. We've gotten this far, right?"

Ziva nodded. "And I am okay."

Tony's eyebrows rose. "Okay?"

Her smile was faint. "Ducky told me today. There is nothing wrong with my blood. Nothing in me that can hurt you."

His lips sought hers again, caressing gently, and holding the kiss until their air ran out. Tony grinned. "That's good news." She nestled her head in his neck and just listened to him breathe for awhile. Finally he made her look at him again. "Hey Zi, in case you were wondering, I got tested before last summer, and again before I asked you to marry me. Looks like we both have clean bills of health."

"And one more huddle crossed."

Tony chuckled. "Hurdle Zi. Hopefully there aren't too many of them left."

"I am scared," she whispered.

"I know." He dropped kisses all over her face, let his hands and lips travel down her neck, and pushed the dressing gown off one shoulder. "But we'll take it slow, always slow, I promise."

Ziva tilted her head to the side and closed her eyes, letting him reassure her with his touch. His hand slid under her tank top and she held very still, the heat from his skin sinking into hers. When he tugged on the material she stood up and peeled her shirt off, then stepped out of her pants, standing naked before him for only a moment before crawling under the covers. Tony followed her example and shed his clothes, getting into bed and laying next to her.

"It is alright for you to touch me," she whispered, having missed this closeness between them.

Tony took her at her word and slowly explored her body, nudging the boundaries of where his hands had been allowed before and always making sure she was ready for what he was doing. Their time together was already emotionally charged and he didn't hold her very long before suggesting they get dressed again. There were only so many lines he was willing to cross on the first night of being able to put his hands on her in two days. He'd been patient for months, he could wait a little longer. Then Ziva kissed him goodnight and Tony hoped that soon all the waiting would finally be worth it.

NCIS

Gibbs set their supper dishes in the sink that night and brought over the bowls of quick and easy strawberry shortcake he'd put together for dessert. He held Celeste's hand as they ate and when she laid her spoon down, Gibbs slid his thumb over her skin. "Marry me Les?"

A smile broke over her face and she blinked back the sudden moisture in her eyes. "Yes," she whispered.

Pulling her to her feet, Gibbs wrapped Celeste in his arms and dropped his head to her shoulder. "What?"

Celeste leaned back, framing his face with her hands. "Yes," she repeated, kissing the corner of his mouth for good measure.

Gibbs fit his lips between and over hers, drawing out the moment he wanted to seal in his memory for years to come. They stood holding each other for a long time before he led her to the couch and sat down, keeping no space between them. Celeste held out her left hand. "I think something is missing."

Reaching for the box on the end table, Gibbs kept it in his hand rather than open it. "I didn't get you an engagement ring this time, just a wedding band." She looked curious but not upset, so lifting the lid, he tried to explain. "I wanted things to be different this time."

Celeste peered into the box, which held two white gold bands, both engraved. One had was narrower and had small diamonds and sapphires embedded in it all the way around. "They're beautiful. I hope you don't make me wait too long to wear mine."

He laced their fingers together. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

Far from being shocked, Celeste pulled up one knee and leaned against the cushions. "Somehow I'm not surprised. Where?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Gazebo in the park, Justice of the Peace, early enough that we can enjoy the rest of the day together."

One of her eyebrows rose when he said 'enjoy', but a smile teased her lips. "I accept. And the team?"

He grunted. "They'll know as soon as they see the ring. I'm not taking it off this time."

"I appreciate that." Her brow creased. "I don't have time to find a wedding dress."

"Need one?" Gibbs wasn't sure, to women the details were important.

Celeste thought about it a moment and shook her head. "No, I guess not. In fact, I have something in mind that should work. Do we need to decide anything else?"

Gibbs tried to recall not his most recent wedding, but his first. "Flowers?"

"I'll bring some bright ones from my garden," she said with barely a pause. "What house are we going home to?"

"Mine," he answered firmly. "Done sleeping on the couch."

"I expect so." Celeste fiddled with her fingers. "I'm very attached to the idea of owning my own home Jethro."

"Want me to move in there?"

The offer was unexpected. "Only what you need, I suppose. Thank you. But I don't want you to give up this place."

"Won't." Gibbs crossed his arms. "Been paid off for years. Good place to find perspective, have my own space."

Celeste moved closer and placed her hands on his cheeks. "No matter what reason you have to come back here, I hope you will always return home to share the bed with me."

Their lips met and Gibbs held her securely against him. "Count on it," he whispered.

Celeste stayed later than usual and much of that time was spent cuddling on the couch and occasionally finalizing plans. It was hard for Gibbs to let her go that night, but finally he walked her home and kissed her goodnight, lingering until only sheer willpower forced him away. "See you tomorrow."

She let her hand fall down his chest. "I look forward to it. Come get me at one o'clock?"

"I'll be here."

They locked eyes, reading a myriad of thoughts and emotions in each other's gazes before Celeste turned and went inside. Gibbs shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way home. She wouldn't regret saying yes this time, he'd swear to it and do whatever it took to prove that to her.

NCIS

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." Justice Trask closed his black book and smiled. "You may kiss your bride." Gibbs obeyed, lowering his mouth to his wife's lips for a sweet moment. Then he pulled away, looking down at her in a white and blue sundress and up into her smiling eyes. The Justice grinned. "Congratulations folks," and took his leave.

Celeste stared at the ring on her finger and twisted it around. "I can't believe we're doing this again." She brushed her fingers over the buttons on his shirt, liking his dressed down suit ensemble.

Gibbs kissed her hand. "Learned a lot since the last time Les." She nodded but still seemed in awe and he lifted her chin. "Can I take you out somewhere to celebreate?"

Celeste nodded, tucking her hand into his elbow and following him to her car, where he held the door for her to slide in. He went around to his side and she leaned against him. Gibbs pressed his lips to her hair. "Thank you for doing this."

"Oh Jethro," Celeste smiled tenderly, a light there that he'd missed for so many years, "don't you know? This is what I wished for."

"I love you," he said softly and Celeste took his hand.

"I love you. I'm so glad to finally be home again. I have waited a long time to belong."