Chapter 10

Moving back from him was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. She looked down at the powerful body below her; each muscle, each scar as familiar to her as the back of her hand. A fiery determination welled up within her heart. She wouldn't give up now, they'd come so far. This wasn't over, not by a long shot.

She gripped his hips, digging in her fingers, pulled back and thrust forward, hard! She saw his fingers twitch, she repeated the action again, getting that same spasmodic flicker in his hand. She picked up the speed, slamming her weight into him, her strength, her love. His body jerked, and his eye fluttered open, revealing a distant stare.

"Look at me Bull." His eyelid lowered. "Fucking look at me!" The pale grey of his iris was once more visible, a flash of recognition in the depth. What he saw In her eyes surprised him, where he expected revulsion, there was anger tinged with fear; where he'd expected coldness, there was warmth and a deep abiding love.

"Are you a coward?" The pale grey darkened to the colour of storm clouds as anger sparked in his gaze.

"No!" The word was ripped from him; his voice rough as if he'd swallowed glass. "I'm not a fucking coward," he shouted hoarsely.

"Did you sit on this fine ass all day and just let the Vints kill him?" She slapped the body part in question as she spoke, causing his hips to jerk, and the saartoh nehrappan to slide in a little deeper. "Fuck!" He took a few fortifying breaths before attempting to answer. "No. I fought hard, with everything I had."

She leaned over and pressed a kiss to one particularly vicious looking scar along his back. "I know you did, love. You have the scars to prove it. Each one shows your dedication to protect the innocent and that includes Ashaad." She rocked her hips back and forth, keeping the motion slow and easy, letting him think over their conversation without too much of a distraction.

"Finish the story, tell me how you felt when you saw Ashaad go up in flames." He gritted his teeth, pushing himself onto all fours, his hands gripping the slat in front of him.

"I fucking hated him! I hated him for taking the cowards way out, for not saying something sooner, for fucking leaving me alone." His muscles strained as he wrenched at the slat. "I hated myself, for letting him go out there, for being so fucking selfish, for not being fast enough to stop the fireball," his voice broke, his head falling forward to rest against his clenched knuckles, so that his next words were almost lost, "...for not dying that day."

She stroked trembling hands over his sides and down his flanks. "Do you understand your nightmare now, Bull?" His chest was heaving as he shook his head. "I can't...I can't think right now." She leaned over his body and pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck. "Then I'll tell you what I think."

She lifted her hips and started pumping in slow shallow thrusts. "Think about the dream, Bull. You said you wanted me to run, that you didn't want me to be drawn into your darkness. The cloud in your nightmare isn't representing a demon, it's how you see yourself.

You think you're going to hurt me, but we've already established that you won't. You think you're going to fail me by letting me be harmed, or worse. But we're agreed that you do everything you can to protect those around you."

She traced her tongue around the shell of his ear, nibbled at the pulse in his neck, giving him time to take in what she'd said so far. When he leaned into her touch, she continued with her explanation.

"You fear demons, as we all should, they're not to be taken lightly. But that fear will make you cautious and keep you alive long after less guarded fools will have fallen prey to a demon. But what you fear the most is yourself. You've bottled up all this pain and anger inside and it's been eating at your very soul, Bull."

She shifted a little in order to find his prostate, then she thrust deep and his head went back, a loud moan escaping him. She smoothed a hand over his back, feeling a shiver run through the hard muscles.

"Do you want to keep living like that?" There was silence for the space of a heartbeat, then one whispered word.

"No." She thrust harder. "I didn't hear you Bull, tell me what you want."

"I want to be fucking free of all this shit!" He exhaled a shuddering breath, his lungs working frantically, as dry sobs racked his body. The wound was open, now they needed to drain it.

Adaar cupped his rigid cock. "I'm going to take off the ring now Bull, and when you come, I want to hear you, I want you to let it all out."

He pulled in a steadying breath then looked over his shoulder and she saw the irrepressible gleam in his eye as he replied, "I don't think that's going to be a problem, I'm hard enough to pound nails." His gaze turned serious and he gave a quick nod. "I will Kadan."

She smiled, her slim fingers finding the buckle and releasing him. She let it drop to the bed before taking his rigid cock in her hand and pumping him as fast and as hard as her hips were riding his ass.

"Ah, fuck...going to.." He was gasping for air, like a man who had run a marathon, but he'd done so much more than that this night.

"Let it go, Bull."

Even as she spoke, his cock was already swelling within the confines of her hand, his ass clenching greedily at the saartoh nehrappan. He gripped the slat with strong hands, threw his head back and roared loud and long, an agonising but cleansing release.

Adaars' hand was coated with thick white ropes of cum as his hips jerked with each pulse of his cock. The sight and scent of his climax forced all the desire that had coiled up inside her to release in an breath taking orgasm. Her cries of pleasure mingled with his, until they were both left drained and panting heavily.

She followed Bull down as his legs gave way, covering his body, sheltering him as he lay vulnerable and dazed. She managed to reach the key without dislodging herself from him, and undid the manacles, rubbed the tender red marks gently and placed a kiss against each wrist. He turned his palms upwards and she linked her hands with his.

"I have to ask; other than a love of my ass, what was your reason for taking me from behind?" She chuckled, "Well it is a fine ass, but I did it that way so that you'd be more vulnerable. If I'd ridden your cock, you would have still had a modicum of control. I wanted you open to me in all ways."

He pulled her hand close and pressed a kiss to the knuckles. "Smart and beautiful." She smiled, but it was clear she was distracted. "I'm going to be all right Kadan. It will take a bit of time to get my head around what we've talked about today. But it helped, a lot. I feel...I feel at peace."