"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I shriek as the line goes dead, and in frustration I throw my phone at Beck's head. "Why now? Why the fuck did you have to choose that moment to speak?" I scream at him.

"What?" he looks at me in confusion, "What the hell are you on about Jade?"

"Tori heard you! She heard you talking, and then she hung up." I groan running my hand through my hair.

"So what? Why shouldn't I be talking to you? Has she said that you can't see me or something?" He growls.

"No this is all my fault. Isn't it fucking always? I made a comment about her being with Dani; hell it must have been clear that I was uncomfortable with it. And then you waltz in here announcing yourself just in time to remind me and make Tori aware of my complete double standards! Thank you for ruining my life!" I throw the venom laced insult at him despite being totally aware that none of this is actually his fault.

"Seriously Jade you are going to pin this on me?" he sighs throwing his hands in the air. "You are impossible do you know that?" he states sitting down next to me. "You are obsessively jealous, completely paranoid and you throw anger you feel towards yourself at other people."

"Way to make me feel better" I start to say rolling my eyes.

"Will you just shut up and listen for once?" he snaps at me before sliding his hand under my chin softly, "All of those things are true. But you are also caring, funny, beautiful, passionate and determined. It is for all these reasons that I-" he hangs his head and his voice breaks slightly and he drops his hand, "that I love you." He stops and looks at me, and his eyes meet mine as he closes his and leans in, I tilt my head in the ever so familiar way and my eyes begin to shut, for a moment I don't think I am going to stop him, in that second I am ready to let him kiss me and kiss him back. But Tori's face is imprinted in my mind, her touch is heavy on my skin and her voice is ringing in my ears. I don't want this I think to myself, turning my head away sharply I feel his lips graze my cheek.

"Beck, I love Tori" I state still avoiding eye contact with him, I hear him sigh in response.

"Then you need to talk to her." He sounds so deflated.

"I know." I state flatly, "but I have no idea where she is and I don't even nearly know what to say."

"I want you to be happy Jade, but please don't make me help you with this. It's just too hard"

"I'm sorry, I'll go" I respond standing up and heading for the door. As I reach it I turn back to face him, I shy smile crosses my face as I look over my ex-lover and for the first time in weeks I get the feeling that maybe things between us will be ok.

Climbing into my car I start to rack my brains for where she could possibly be. Giving in I take out my phone; screen cracked from my throw, and dial her number. As I expected it rings through to voice mail. "You can't ignore me forever Vega" I growl under my breath. I spend the next fifteen minutes repeatedly calling before the call is finally answered.

"Tori please don't hang up, just let me see you. Let me explain. I will do anything" I ramble quickly not leaving room for a response.

"Jade wait!" a voice cries "It's not Tori, it's Dani" I completely deflate, she really doesn't want to talk to me then. "She says she doesn't want to talk-"

"But I need to speak to her!" I wail cutting her off.

"Shut up will you!" she groans, "If there is one thing I know about Tori, it is that she is a complete fool when she is in love and no matter how mad she gets, she will never turn the girl she loves away if they come face to face with her. We are at Andre's and Tori is a mess. If you want to fix this you are going to have to listen to me ok?"

"Whatever!" I scream frustration thick on my voice, pausing slightly I add "I do want to fix this so just tell me already?" I groan inwardly; I hate having to accept help from other people.

"You are going to go to a florist, once there you are going to buy the biggest bouquet of lily's that you can find. They are her favourite" A pang of annoyance floods through me as I realise I didn't even know what flowers were my girlfriend's favourite. "Then you are going to get your arse her and grovel. You got that?"

"Grovel? Why can't I just explain?" I respond getting angry now, who the hell does she think she is telling me to grovel! I think to myself.

"You could just explain Jade, and the sad thing is that she would accept that. But after everything you have put her through tonight I won't accept it, why should you get off so easy? That night at the hospital; you told me you realised she was amazing, and I warned you not to break her heart. Yet here we are Jade, you have hurt her, hurt her so much that I am beyond pissed. So sort your shit out, get here and beg, beg for her to forgive you, because that is what she deserves: someone who will put aside their pride for her, someone who would do anything to make her smile. And you know that I am right."

Anger that has been whirl pooling inside me since she stared talking; anger that was so close to the surface that it almost bubbled out, fades away as she says that last line. She is right, this shouldn't be easy for me, Tori does deserve more than that. Why should I be able to do this to her and then just waltz in any make everything ok again without any real effort? Suddenly I feel more like crying than shouting, yet I know that I do not have any right to cry, I deserve to hurt right now.

"I will be there within half an hour" I sigh down the phone, and seconds later I hear the line go dead.