I hope you enjoy this chapter, i'm working on making them longer. If you have anything you'd like to happen in the fic or any new fic ideas please tell me in a review and i'll try to do it.

Was I the only one of the girls who didn't know? Is that why Alison is acting so shy and embarrassed while Spencer gets ready to kill Hanna, who is just sat giggling in her drunken state. For a second I wish I was Hanna; blissfully unaware of the shit that is about to go down.

I always believed that maybe I'd have a chance. That perhaps one day we'd be together.

Who was I kidding; Alison Dilaurentis was and still is mesmerizing in every way. Her long, blonde, beautiful hair that is every girls envy, her gorgeous ocean blue eyes that could make anyone fall in love, but what's on the inside is even better. Her innate need to care for the people she loves, her passion, the confidence that she oozed. Alison is unpredictable in every way and whenever I feel slightly close to figuring out the mystery that she is, she changes the game.

She grew up and lost her mean bitchy side while we were all still in high school. Everyone finally saw the human side of Ali that I had been lucky enough to see sometimes in the past. She may have matured since I last saw her, but there's only one thing that's changed over the last 5 years and that's her surname.

I suppose the girls would say I've changed, I'm not the sweet innocent naïve girl I once was, but one thing that never changed were my undeniable feelings for Alison. No matter how hard I tried to push them away and how many other girls I've been with; nobody will ever come close to her.

I'm not gonna lie, you could say that Hanna's nickname for me is accurate. I don't mean to be a 'lady killer', but no woman will ever compete with Alison, I'm not going to lead them on.

I was lucky to get one night with her, but unfortunately it just left me wanting more, but at the time I knew it wouldn't be right to act on it. It was everything I expected and more, my feelings were amplified, because of Ali's confession. Knowing that those kisses weren't just for practise made me feel like my feelings were valid, but you could also say that it started my false hope.

I always thought that we'd have our happy ending, but after everything that's happened in my life, I know that happy endings only exist in fairy tales.

I quickly excused myself and rushed to the bathroom; my friends guilty eyes were making me feel even worse. I can't believe they didn't tell me.

I spent some time composing myself, until a hesitant knock on the door startled me out of my stressed state.

Blonde hair appeared, but unfortunately it wasn't the blonde that I knew deep down that I really wanted to see.

"Look. I'm sorry Emily, I didn't mean to make that awkward." Hannah had obviously sobered up after a likely threat from an agitated Spencer.

I sighed, what else could I do.

Hanna continued, "I knew you had feelings for Alison all through high school," she gave Emily a knowing look, "I know why you were so upset when we thought she killed Mona and that she was A."

I bitterly laughed, "I can't believe we accused her of that. I knew deep down that she never could've done that." I really did, I knew at the time she couldn't of, I knew that my Ali wouldn't have done that to us: to me.

"But we did and it's in the past, we can't change it," Hanna bluntly replied.

"Aren't you on top form tonight," I sarcastically replied as I attempted to leave the bathroom, but Hanna blocked my path.

"I didn't mean to upset you Emily, I honestly thought you'd of gotten over her by now." Hanna wiggled her eyebrows, "you know, with you getting under so many hot women."

"Still not being helpful." Sometimes I questioned if Hanna knew how to have a serious conversation. Who actually says stuff like that?

She just rolled her eyes and continued, "believe it or not Emily, I care about you and I'm not going to go out of my way to make you uncomfortable." I relaxed my defensive posture and listened to the woman whom I still considered after all these years to be my best friend. "I was trying to make Ezra and Aria have to drink, I wouldn't have said it if I knew." Hanna looked me in the eye, "why did you never tell us?"

She was starting to make me feel a little bit guilty, "you know that I couldn't of, none of you would have supported it…" Hanna tried to talk, but I continued, "Hanna, you took the first opportunity you could get to help her pack her bags and leave."

"I know." Hanna gently whispered. "Don't get mad, but I kind of knew what was going on with you two." I looked at her shocked. "It was pretty obvious when you were holding hands and acting all lovey dovey." Hanna made gross kissing noises. "But seen as I've always cared about you, I thought it wasn't my place to get involved… for once." We both laughed, when did Hanna ever not get involved? "Even though I wasn't her biggest fan, if she made you happy, I approved."

"It never got that far, we literally hooked up and then A got in the way." I sighed and began to think out loud "now I think about it, I knew for sure Ali wasn't A, I saved her when she was being strangled by her. Like i…"

"You did what?!" Hanna all but shouted.

"It's in the past Hanna." I squeaked, not ready for a Spencer style lecture from who I considered to be my most fun, care free friend.

Hanna took a deep breath. "What are you going to say when you see her out there Em?"

"I honestly have no idea." I pretty elaborately excused myself, so there's no way she wouldn't know that I'm jealous and upset even though I have no real right to be.

"If I was you, I'd just go out there and not let her see how you really feel. Go out there and show her how you got the nickname lady killer." Hanna winked at me flirtatiously and I just laughed. I may be seen as a lady killer, but I'll always be the same old Emily when it comes to Alison.

I hugged Hanna and thanked her for being Hanna and then we headed back into the barn where everyone was.

What I didn't expect to come back too was Ezra fast asleep, a giggling tipsy aria, an even more giggly tipsy spencer and a wasted Alison.

I looked at Hanna for some kind of help, but she was already at the corner of the room joining some drinking game that Spenecer and Aria were already engrossed in.

I thought about just going to sleep like Ezra, but Alison began to cry and told me "I'm gonna be sick Em."

I helped her outside and was repositioning myself so I could support her to the bathroom, when she collapsed to the floor and began to throw up. I completely forgot about my jealousy and annoyance and got down next to her and held her hair back as she threw up.

I began to softly rub her back in an attempt to comfort her, when Alison suddenly stood up and attempted to get some distance between us. All I wanted to do was help the stumbling, emotional mess that Ali had become, but she had different ideas.

"W-why are you being nice to me?" Alison slurred as she continued crying.

I tried to talk, but she continued, "Wha-at have I e-ever done to help you? I m-made you feel like c-complete and utter shit for years. I haven't even spoken to you f-for five years-s, five f-fucking years and now I find o-out that my mermaid is now a lady killer." Alison began to whisper, "Everything's so messed up."

"I'm not your mermaid anymore." I didn't mean to be harsh and I realise she's drunk, but who does she think she is. Even if I still like her I'm not letting her act like I'm her possession.

I went to walk away when I saw Alison begin to fall over out of the corner of my eye and rushed to try and catch her, but I was too late. Ali fell to the floor giggling so loudly she could give Spencer and Aria a run for their money. She really did look a hot mess, her golden hair sprawled all across her face, her makeup ruined by her tears and her blouse nudged up exposing a nasty bruise on her delicate ribs, which made me grimace. It looks like she must have had a bad fall recently. I made a mental note to recommend she gets that looked at by a doctor once she's sober.

What happened to the Ali from high school that was always composed and held together? Since when did Ali ever drink anyway, I'd never seen her like this in my whole time of knowing her. What the hell happened?