AN: We're almost at the end folks, I have one more Chapter in with by lovely beta Alilypea and one more to write and then it's finished! Thank you for your patience while I work this story line out.
I don't own Mass Effect, nor do I make any money from this.
"Your Quarian?" The Turian grabbed at Tali's hips pulling her flush against him, "she looks like my Quarian right now."
Garrus was growling, a low rumble that Shepard was only aware of because of how close he was standing. "Let her go."
"Oh I don't think so, I think I'm going to get to know her real well tonight," the Turian was laughing.
"I don't think you're going to get the chance," Shepard took a step forward, gun still trained on the strangers face, "if you don't let her go in the next 60 seconds the only thing you're going to be doing tonight is dying."
"I'm not scared of you," the Turian smiled, his mandibles flaring.
"Shepard…" Tali was crying now, her body shaking.
"You're doing really good Tali, just keep calm okay?" Shepard kept her eyes trained on her target, aware of some movement to her left where Joker was standing.
The Turian turned his eyes to whatever had caught Shepard's attention the second before, "would you get rid of her? The gun is ruining my night."
"Kai!" Joker shouted a warning as a Krogan stepped out of the crowd and made to grab onto Shepard.
Shepard only took her eyes off of Tali's captor for the second it took to line up the shot before pulling the trigger and stepping aside to allow the Krogan to fall to her feet dead before swinging the gun back.
"Let her go, or you die." Shepard was furious, she knew that she could take the shot right now and not hit Tali, but even the small risk that she might be wrong wasn't worth it, she had told Garrus off for doing the same thing.
The gun shot had parted made a small gap in the dance floor and alerted the rest of the crew to the problem; quickly they formed a circle around Shepard.
"Looks like you're out numbered, and I'm running out of patience. Grunt can you grab this for me? I'd like to have a talk with him outside." Shepard holstered her gun as the Turian turned to see who she had been speaking too.
Grunt made quick work of the order, picking the Turian up by his cowl and leg spur. Tali dropped to the floor shaking; now loudly sobbing.
"Joker, grab Tali and meet us by the transit terminal, it should be pretty empty right now. " Not looking back Shepard made her way to the door, the crowd parting to let her through.
"Put me down!" The Turian slammed his fists against Grunt.
"Stop it, Turian. If I had it my way you would be dead already." Grunt walked right at Shepard's heel, the weight of carrying the alien not slowing his step. "We are going to kill him right?"
"It's going to be up to Tali," Shepard stopped when they reached the empty transit terminal, looking over Grunt's shoulder she could see Tali coming Joker supporting her weight.
Shepard extended her hand to Tali, "are you alright?"
"Shaken up, but I'll be fine." Tali sounded a bit more under control, though her speech was still slightly slurred, "what are we going to do with him?"
"Well that's going to be up to you," Shepard turned to Joker, "can you stand with Tali please?"
Joker walked up and held his hand out to Tali like Shepard had, Tali quickly grabbed it and stood close to him. Joker wondered if it was a way of comforting Quarian's or if it was just something that Shepard did. Looking back at Shepard, Joker watched her walk up to Grunt.
"Put him down," Shepard placed her hands on her hips and Joker immediately knew that the Turian was in for more trouble than he knew.
Grunt not being one for pleasantries let go of his grip and dropped the Turian on the floor, "he's all yours, Shepard."
"What are we going to do with you?" Shepard circled the alien who was scrambling to get to his feet.
"Nothing, I'm out of here." The Turian turned and made to run.
Joker watched as Shepard reached out before the Turian had even made a step grabbing him by the leg spur and the back of the fringe dropping him to the floor with a painful growl.
Shepard hooked her fingers under one of the mandibles of the Turian and dragged him three steps towards Tali and Joker. Tali curled against Joker and started to shake again, Joker rubbed her back in what he hoped was a soothing way.
"Let's start with a name shall we?" Shepard let go of the mandible but kept her hand on the fringe giving it a painful squeeze.
"Aetius," The Turian was gasping, the pain in his fringe almost unbearable.
"Well Aetius, let me introduce myself," Shepard let go and moved to stand by Joker and Tali, drawing her gun. "My name is Commander Kai Shepard, and if you move I will kill you."
"Com... The Commander Shepard?" Aetius stumbled but didn't move.
"Last time I checked, now I think you owe Tali an apology."
"Hey, it was just a bit of fun, I didn't mean anything by it." Aetius looked up and raised his hands in surrender.
Shepard pressed the buttons on the side of her gun bringing up the incendiary ammunition, "let me say that just one more time, you owe Tali an apology or we'll see just how hot you are."
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean anything by it I swear." Aetius shrugged, "it was just a joke."
Shepard glared down at him before turning to Tali, "it's up to you Tali, if you want him dead I'll kill him for you."
Tali considered it for a moment before walking up to Aetius and punching him as hard as she could, knocking him over. "Let him go, if we ever see him causing problems again then we can kill him."
Shepard nodded, lowering her gun and dropping it back into place on her thigh. "You heard her; if you so much as breathe wrong I'll hunt you down."
Aetius stood up slowly, rubbing the side of his face with a hint of anger. "Fine, I'm out of here."
Shepard nodded to signal the crew to step aside to let Aetius pass.
Aetius was grumbling, "I didn't want the suit rat anyway…"
The crew gasped, Shepard reached down into her boot where she had stashed the knife Jack gave her earlier. "Move!" The crew parted quickly at the command quickly, Shepard swung her arm in a practiced movement, letting the knife slide out of her fingers.
Aetius dropped to his knees when the knife found its home in his lower back, "fuck!"
The crew scrambled after Shepard as she stalked up to Aetius, wondering what she would do next.
"Think you're funny?" Shepard was seething, "not so fucking funny now are you?"
"You missed," Aetius hissed when Shepard grabbed onto the handle of the knife holding it still.
"I didn't miss," Shepard leaned over his shoulder, "I wasn't aiming for your head, I was aiming for your lung." Twisting the handle of the knife roughly Shepard pulled it out of the Turian's back.
"Everyone back to the Normandy," Jack opened her mouth to protest but the look on Shepard's face stopped her, "now."
Shepard walked back to Joker who was wearing a very stunned expression, extending her hand that wasn't holding the knife to Tali she took the Quarian under her arm before looking back to Joker.
"What?" Shepard lead Tali back towards the ship with Joker following close behind, "you look shocked."
"I am," Joker shrugged, "I guess I've never really seen you in combat mode up close."
"Ah," Shepard nodded, "scare you?"
"Yeah, I wouldn't want to be on your bad side." Joker decided to be honest.
"You're not on my bad side though, and I wouldn't do that to you even if you were." Shepard keyed in the password to open the doors to the Normandy.
"I'll clean your knife for you Shepard," Jack took the blade out of Shepard's hand; "I'll bring it back in the morning."
"You okay Shepard?" Garrus looked sheepish, "I'm sorry I couldn't deal with the situation, you're right we should always be prepared."
"It's ok Garrus," Shepard smiled, "no one knew it was going to be this exciting tonight."
"I don't get it," Joker looked at Shepard, "why didn't you just kill him?"
"I did."
"No, you got him in the lung that can heal." Joker was confused.
"Not on Turians," Garrus shook his head, "unless he has Cerberus hookups he'll be dead by morning."
Joker felt his jaw drop, and Shepard just shrugged. "I don't accept that kind of talk, not towards strangers and not towards my family."
"How are you holding up Tali?" Garrus reached a hand out to touch Tali's shoulder, Tali flinched and pulled back. Garrus tried to not show this disappointment he felt, Tali smiled softly.
"I'd like to go to bed," Tali's voice was strained with emotion, "I'm sorry Garrus, I'm not upset with you I just don't know if I can be touched right now."
Shepard turned towards the elevator, "I'll walk you to your room."
Pressing the button for the crew deck Shepard watched the doors slide shut "are you okay Tali?"
Tali shook her head slowly before dropping to the floor sobbing, Joker quickly dropped to his knees beside her trying to calm her down.
"EDI, Capitan's quarters please." Leaning over Shepard picked Tali up into her arms and stood up slowly, cradling Tali in her arms.
"Holy cow," Joker was impressed, "you are strong."
"Upgrades," Shepard nodded, "lots of them."
The door to the elevator opened and Joker rushed ahead to open the door. Shepard took the few steps down to the bed turning to sit on the edge with Tali still in her arms.
"Hey, hey now." Shepard rubbed Tali's back and dropped her voice to the same tone her Mother had used with her when she was upset, "hush, you're ok."
"Joker, can you go and get her a drink from her fridge?" Shepard didn't take her eyes off of Tali.
"Uh sure, what am I looking for?" Joker had never been into the Turian/Quarian fridge.
"Something purple, it'll be in a tall bottle. Make sure that you grab a straw."
"You remembered," Tali spoke between sobs, "my favorite."
Joker nodded and headed towards the door, "I'll be back in a few minutes."
Shepard gently shifted Tali so she was sitting on the bed rather than her lap, "I'm just going to change ok? I'll still be right here but I need to take the gun off and get out of these pants."
Tali nodded, calming down. "Thanks for standing up for me Shepard, I appreciate it."
Shepard dropped the gun with its holster on her dressed before slipping out of the leggings and pulling on a pair of sweat pants. Giving up on removing her shirt she decided instead to cut it with a nearby knife before pulling one of Joker's old t-shirts on. Taking her hair out of the ponytail Shepard dropped back onto the bed next to Tali.
"Not a problem, it was the right thing to do and you're family." Shepard looked into the silver eyes reflecting at her from behind the purple mask, "I'm surprised that you were so upset though, I've seen you take worse than that."
"Yeah," Tali looked down, "a lot of stress lately I guess, too much to handle."
"Want to talk about it?" Shepard took one of Tali's hands in her own.
Tali paused for a minute hearing the door opening signaling Joker's return. Taking the purple bottle from Joker she nodded her thanks.
"Do you want him to leave?" Shepard could sense Tali's hesitance.
"No, Joker can stay. It's just hard to talk to you about this." Tali trailed off, "I think it'll seem stupid to you."
"She'll probably surprise you Tali," Joker dropped down on the couch giving the girls their space.
"Ok," Tali turned back to Shepard, "I'm scared…"
"Of what?" Shepard wrapped her arms around Tali's shoulders, "I'll kill it for you."
Tali let out a brief chuckle before breaking down into tears again, "you can't…"
Pulling Tali back onto her lap Shepard frowned, "hey, tell me what's bothering you, there's no need for all these tears."
Tali sobbed harder, burying her head into Shepard's neck. Looking over at Joker he just shrugged letting Shepard know that he had no idea what was going on.
"Talk to me Tali," Shepard traced circles on Tali's back, "let me help."
"I'm scared of dying Shepard. I'm so young; I have so much I want to do. The Collectors are just around the corner and we probably won't come back…" Tali trailed off into another fit of violent sobs.
"Well I understand that Tali, that's not stupid." Shepard rested her chin on the top of Tali's head pulling her against her body tighter. "You're so brave and so mature sometimes I forget that you're so much younger than the rest of us, you don't have to come Tali, I won't ask you to do the mission." Shepard pulled back to make Tali face her, "if you say the word Tali I will take you back to the flotilla tomorrow."
"I can't abandon you Shepard," Tali sounded shocked.
"You wouldn't be," Shepard smiled, "you've helped me every step of the way, and you've been a very important part of the team but I won't ask you to come if you want to go back."
"I can't," Tali wasn't crying now, Shepard's idea had shocked her into a calm.
"You can, and it will be ok. The thought of dying is scary Tali, I can't ask you to face that. Sleep on it tonight, think about it and if you want to go home tomorrow I will arrange for it to happen."
Joker watched the exchange with interest, tonight he had seen solider Shepard up close and personal and now he was seeing Shepard in another way he hadn't seen before. Sitting on the bed with her arms around Tali he was seeing a nurturing Shepard, and she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
"Did it hurt?"
Joker watched Shepard's face as she reacted to Tali's question; Shepard's eyes lost their focus as she tried to remember all the details.
"No it didn't hurt," Shepard shook her head, "I remember feeling the air running out, and trying to get a breath hurt for a little bit but it was no worse than anything I had encountered before. I took my last breath and then…" Shepard trailed off, furrowing her eyebrows, "nothing."
"Nothing?" Joker couldn't stop himself from asking, causing both women to turn and look at him.
"Nothing," Shepard smiled, "it was beautiful, it was calm. I felt like I was asleep, but that nice heavy sleep that you're aware of. The kind of sleep that you have when you know that you have nothing waiting for you for the rest of the day. Nothing hurt, I was…happy."
"That doesn't sound so bad," Tali had moved to sit beside Shepard and was sipping her drink slowly.
"It wasn't bad," Shepard looked between them, "it was probably the only time I've ever been able to sleep that long."
Tali laughed, "You're spending too much time with Joker if you can make jokes about that." Standing up Tali walked to the door, "thank you Shepard, and you Joker. I'll think about what you've offered but right now I just want to go to bed."
"Do you want me to walk you down?" Shepard walked to the door.
"No, I'll be ok now." Tali pulled Shepard into a hug; "I'll talk to you in the morning."
"Ok Tali, good night." Shepard waved as Tali walked into the elevator and disappeared from her sight.
Walking back towards the bed she looked over at the clock on her bedside table, "oh my god you have to be joking, it's only 12:30?"
"Yep, tired already old lady?" Joker stood up and pulled Shepard into his arms.
"You bet, and I'm dying to get this makeup off my face." Shepard pulled a face, "It feels all heavy."
"You looked amazing tonight," Joker bent to place a kiss on the side of Shepard's neck, "and you can dance."
"I told you," Shepard turned to head to the bathroom, "I'm going to take this paint off and I'll be back."
Joker reached for the buttons of his shirt, getting undressed and sliding into bed waiting for Shepard to come back. He couldn't get over how calm she had seemed while talking about her death, a part of him was wondering if she had just made it up to make Tali feel better even though it didn't really seem like the kind of thing that Shepard would do.
"Hey," Shepard was pulling his shirt over her head leaving her topless and Joker breathless, "you think that hard you might hurt yourself."
Joker watched Shepard slip out of her pants and slide into the bed next to him before deciding to talk, "was that really what it was like?"
Shepard immediately knew what Joker was talking about, "for the most part, being dead doesn't hurt. The moment where your body shuts down doesn't hurt however the situation that leads you to that moment can."
Joker just nodded, looking at his hands, "that actually makes me feel kind of better about the whole thing; at least I know you weren't suffering."
"If you wanted to know, why didn't you ask?" Shepard punched her pillow before lying back, "I would have told you."
"I didn't want to hear the answer if it was something bad," Joker rolled onto his side to look at Shepard, "are you really going to let her go?"
"If she asks yes, I would let any of you go if you asked it." Shepard closed her eyes trying to let the tension of the day leave her body.
"Even me?"
"Even you, I would never ask you to do anything you didn't want too." Shepard's voice had dropped as her exhaustion crept through her body.
"Go to sleep Kai, I love you." Joker placed a gentle kiss on Shepard's lips.
"I love you, too." Shepard took a deep breath and felt herself drift off into sleep.
The next morning Shepard called the crew into the briefing room to plan the day, "good morning everyone."
The greeting from the crew wasn't as lively as it usually was most of the team nursing bad hangovers.
"EDI has told me that the IFF has been installed but she would like to run some tests on it before we actually use it so we're in the shuttle today. Tali, what's on the agenda?"
Tali looked up from her Omni tool, she knew what Shepard was doing, and this was Shepard's way of asking about their conversation from the night before. "Well Commander, I believe Legion has something that he needs help with."
"Is that all?" Shepard raised an eyebrow.
"Yes Commander."
"Glad to hear it, well let's head to the shuttle and go deal with some Geth." Shepard walked up to Joker, "the ships in your hands now Joker, take care of her."
"Aye aye, Commander," Joker smiled, "don't be late for dinner."
"Yes dear," Shepard shooed the crowd out as the cat calls started, "enough, come on we've got geth to shoot."
"I love you," Joker called out just before Shepard's form disappeared from the door.
"I love you too Jeff, I'll be back before you know it." Blowing Joker a kiss Shepard walked to the shuttle ready to face what today had for her.