Hello! Thank you to everyone who alerted/favorited this story last time, and thanks to AnneDance 1711 for reviewing!
I hope you all enjoy this one! (It's one of my favorites, but be warned: it gets a little dark.)
Chapter 3
October fourteenth: the worst day of the year.
Well, one of them at least. The absolute worst day of the year was back in July, but I hadn't been around for that one.
I dreaded the day from the moment I closed my eyes the night before. Knowing how bad this day was last year, I could only pray that it would be a little easier this time around.
I woke up before anyone else– with the exception of Brooke, who was always absent from our room by six-thirty– unable to even think about going back to sleep, and got first dibs on the shower. I spent longer than usual under the hot spray, letting the water pound on my already tense back. With my bottom lip between my teeth, I wondered how the day was going to play out. Having been out of the country on the anniversary, I had no idea what to expect from Lily. These days hurt her more than they hurt me.
When I emerged from the bathroom, dressed in uniform, hair tamed into a curly ponytail and makeup hiding the dark circles under my eyes, Alice and Marlene were just rising. Lily still hadn't moved from her bed, which was highly abnormal.
Pushing aside the curtains around her bed and sitting down on the edge, I studied her still form. She had her back turned to me, facing the window, and was making a valiant effort to pretend to be sleeping. I put my hand on her shoulder. "Lily, it's time for breakfast."
She was silent for a long minute. "Not hungry."
"Maybe not, but you still have to eat something."
"I don't want to eat."
"I don't care, you have to," I ordered sternly. Yeesh, when did I start sounding so much like a mother? "I know you, Lily, and I know that you get sick if you don't eat anything in the morning. So get up and get ready."
She rolled over to her back and glared at me with red-rimmed eyes. Oh no, she'd already been crying. I refused to give in to her obvious plea for solitude, and with a defeated sigh she sat up, letting her head come to rest on my shoulder.
"Today should have been his eighteenth birthday," Lily whispered.
I ran my hand down her hair. "I know."
That was all that needed to be said. Lily took another moment to compose herself before rising and gathering everything she needed for her morning routine. Not long after, we were arriving in the Great Hall for breakfast.
I tried to get her to eat a decent meal, but she was adamantly "not hungry" and so settled on a small bowl of porridge, which she merely poked at and stirred around.
Several minutes of tense silence passed before Lily set down her spoon with a sigh. "I should have been there with him. I should have followed him, should have–"
"N-no," I stuttered, shocked at her words. My heart fell to my stomach and the world seemed to stop turning. "Lily, stop– don't say that!"
"He shouldn't have had to die alone!" Lily shot back, expression crumpling with anguish.
"So you would have died with him? No, you're not allowed to say that!" I snapped, the words coming out far more sharply than I intended. Lily looked at me with surprise and a little bit of anger, but I didn't relent. "Because you know what that would mean? That would mean one more person not coming back to Hogwarts, one more friend I lost! You don't get to pity yourself that much, Lily."
She stared at me for a few moments, lost for words. Maybe what I said was a bit on the harsh side, but I wasn't going to sugarcoat the truth for her. Not this time.
I took a moment to steady my racing heart before continuing gently, "You're here for a reason. I don't know, maybe it's so I keep my sanity every time the Marauders pull a stunt. Or so you can be in the right place at the right time to save the world. Or maybe you'll just save one someone. And that someone saves the world." My voice dropped to a whisper. "Whatever it is, you've got a purpose, Lils."
For a long time she didn't react. I watched cloaked emotions flit through her eyes, thoughts carefully guarded so I couldn't see what was really going on. Did my speech make it through that pretty head of hers? Or was her grief so deep that it veiled everything I needed her to know?
But tentatively, ever so slowly, Lily nodded once. After a moment's hesitation she picked up her spoon and the world resumed its course.
o0o0o0o
Sometimes, I could forget about the war bubbling under the peaceful surface of Hogwarts. But there were times when it smacked me right in the face. Or in Lily's case, the heart.
It was a blistering day in July, the day our worlds were tipped upside down. Lily and I had taken two seats in the Leaky Cauldron while waiting for our company to arrive.
While I perused the menu, Lily tore her paper napkin to shreds. "Where is he?" she fretted.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "He'll show, Lils. Calm down."
"I'm calm!" she protested shrilly.
"Mhmm. Sure you are."
Even though this was technically her date with Ian Darby, Lily had insisted that I come along. She claimed it was so I wouldn't have to stay at her house alone with Petunia, since I was staying with their family for two weeks. But I knew that in reality, her father hadn't wanted her to go alone on a date with a boy he'd never met. And while Lily pretended to be annoyed with her dad, I got the feeling she was a little relieved that she wouldn't be completely alone, either.
So there I sat in a pub, the potentially awkward third wheel on my best friend's first "date."
Technically, Lily and Ian were already an official couple. Had been for nearly five months, in fact. (Though I admit I had been betting on the two of them for years.) However, they'd never been on a one-on-one date, considering they'd both had plans on the last Hogsmeade weekend and never seemed to be alone outside of classes. And so, as per Mr. Evans's orders, we made plans for a chaperoned date under the clever guise of a group back-to-school shopping trip.
"He's late," Lily muttered. She'd moved on to tapping her fingers on the table once all of her napkin was adequately torn up.
I put down my menu, grabbed her wrist, and turned it toward me so that I could see her watch. This time I didn't spare her the eye-roll. "Only by seven minutes."
"Feels longer."
"You're the one who insisted on getting here early," I pointed out.
Lily didn't answer, instead choosing to pick at her fingernails. I tried to block out her persistent fidgeting, but it slowly began to grate on my nerves. Why had I let her drag me along?
We sat there for a full twenty minutes before I'd had enough. Knowing Ian wasn't stupid enough to completely ditch his date, and seeing the defeated and heartbroken look in Lily's eyes, I knew something had to be done.
Dumping a couple sickles on the table to cover our drinks, I stood. Lily looked up.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Winning the award for best friend ever," I said under my breath.
"What?"
"I'm going to find Ian," I answered shortly. I wasn't sure if I was angry with the guy or worried that something had happened to him.
Without checking to see if Lily was following, I strode over to the fireplace on the other side of the pub and grabbed a handful of Floo powder. I took a deep breath, spoke Ian's address, and stepped into the green flames.
One dizzying, sooty trip later, I stepped out of the fireplace into Ian's living room. It was eerily silent, lacking the life and vibrancy it had possessed the last time I'd come. The front door stood wide open, while a quick peek in the kitchen revealed scattered and overturned chairs, as though their occupants had left in a hurry.
Lily stepped out behind me. She gasped, taking in the same things I'd seen. But instead of standing there in shocked stupor like I did, she hurried upstairs to check the other rooms in the house. "Ian?" I heard her call. "Mrs. Darby?"
A chill ran down my spine. Something here was about to go terribly wrong.
"Lily!" I screamed in a near panic. "We have to get out of here!"
She clambered down the stairs, eyes wide. "No one's here. They're gone."
"Yes, like we should be. Let's go!" I turned to go back to the fireplace, but froze when I heard faint popping noises from the walls. I had heard that before. "Lily!" I grabbed her wrist and dragged her out the front door.
We barely made it to the street before it happened. I pushed Lily to the ground and threw myself down beside her, hands over my head. A moment later Ian's house and the two on either side of it were blown to smithereens.
I felt the shockwave ripple through the ground. My ears were ringing. Blinking through the dust and smoke, I sat up and turned, looking at the blackened shells where homes once stood. Flames still roared on the ground surrounding them, eating up the dry grass. From the corner of my eye I could see Lily moving her mouth, but I didn't know what she said. I was too focused on how we were supposed to get out of there. A crazy stroke of luck was the only reason we were alive at that moment, but with nothing left of the Darby home, we were trapped. There wasn't a fireplace to use, not one that we knew was connected to the Floo network. Lily and I couldn't apparate yet, either. Vaguely, I registered that it wasn't an accident. Only magical explosions made that kind of popping noise before they happened. This village was under attack, and I would bet everything I had on Death Eaters.
Shakily I stood. We were sitting ducks out in the open. It was best to get out of sight, and fast. I pulled Lily away from the carnage and started running, no particular destination in mind. A wooded area surrounded Ian's neighborhood, so I decided we could take cover there for a while.
My feet carried us farther and farther away from what we just saw. I couldn't seem to stop walking. Stopping would mean having time to think about how close we came to dying just minutes ago. No, I would keep walking until I couldn't walk anymore.
When we started seeing buildings beyond the tree line, I realized we'd gone too far. My hearing hadn't fully returned yet, but I could hear enough to know that the Death Eaters hadn't stopped at blowing up people's homes. It was a full-scale attack, targeting the people in the center of town as well. I turned around, prepared to start walking the other way, far away from this mess, but Lily gripped my arm.
"I see him!" she said. Without any warning, she started running toward town.
"Lily!" I cried, chasing after her. "You idiot, you're going to get us killed!"
She didn't acknowledge my comment. I pumped my legs harder, trying to keep up with her long strides, but she still managed to stay a few feet ahead of me.
I didn't see what she did, but I followed her anyway, and nearly ran into her when she skidded to a stop behind a building at the edge of the woods. Seeing no sign of Ian, I was about to tell her that it had been her imagination, and that we should go back, but then a person came stumbling around the corner, barely dodging a streak of red light.
"Ian!" Lily hissed. The person looked up, blond bangs flopping in front of his slowly widening eyes.
"What are you two doing here?!" he spat. I cringed. Oh, he was pissed.
"We came looking for you–"
"You should have left when you had the chance!"
"Well, that wasn't exactly possible," I put in, nodding my head toward the smoke billowing over the treetops. Ian looked in that direction and clenched his jaw.
"Figures," he muttered.
"How long has this been going on?" Lily asked.
"I was about to leave to meet you two when it started," he answered. "So, I dunno, an hour?"
"No Aurors?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Something's blocking apparition in and out of here. If they're coming, they would have to apparate to the outer edge of the wards. Probably about four miles or so from here, if the wards stop at the town limits."
A bloodcurdling chorus of screams had Lily and I shrinking against the wall, Ian clenching his wand in his fist. I could see that he wanted to get back into the fray, but not wanting to leave us either. He turned his head just enough for me to see his left cheek, which was smeared with blood. His clothes were covered with soot and dirt, but it was the look in his eyes that unsettled me. I knew Ian. He was a bright, fun boy. But that wasn't the person I saw before me. I was used to that spark of intelligence that had drawn Lily to him for years, the air of confidence that told you he had all the answers. It was colder now. His wit had hardened into calculation. His eyes darted around as he measured everything, watching carefully for any danger. When I saw his analytical gaze as he slowly moved to stand beside Lily, I knew I wasn't looking at the boy I had known, but as a man ready to fight this suddenly very real war. And die if he had to.
I closed my eyes, heart pounding, and tried to take a deep, calming breath. I instantly regretted it though, as the air was quickly becoming tinged with more smoke. Coughs shook my chest, and I tried not to be too loud about it, in case Death Eaters were nearby. Then our seemingly safe place wouldn't be so safe anymore, I would imagine. Ian had scooted next to Lily, taking her hand. Lily didn't look as scared as I felt, though her eyes darted between me and Ian with concern.
Finally, after minutes of waiting and listening, Ian muttered, "I'm gonna get a look at what's going on."
"Ian, no–" Lily started.
"Stay here," he ordered, squeezing her hand for a brief moment. Then he was gone.
Lily looked like she was about to take off after him in spite of his warning. I put my hand on her arm and shook my head. If we went out there, we'd be dead in seconds. Reluctantly, Lily settled back down against the wall, though we were both on edge.
We only remained in our position for mere minutes before everything happened in one huge blur.
First, it was the Aurors. They streamed into town from all directions at breakneck speed, brandishing wands and firing spells at whatever they deemed a threat. Thankfully, if they saw us, they didn't consider either of us to be a threat.
Next, a single chilling scream cut through the air. Lily's eyes grew to the size of saucers, my heart dropped to my stomach, and we both knew whose scream it was.
Then I found myself on my feet, running after my best friend who was blindly tearing through the streets in search of her boyfriend. A couple Aurors were yelling at us to get out of the way, to hide, that we had no business there, but we kept on.
"Lily, stop!" I tried.
"I have to find him!" she answered, not slowing down in the least. I was so scared I could barely keep after her as fire and bursts of light shot past us. I lost sight of her a few times in the smoke, but glimpses of her red hair kept floating up as if to signal her location.
She came to a halt at the next intersection, eyes fixed on something around the corner. I peered around her body gasped.
Ian was writhing on the ground, crying out in pain. A figure cloaked in black held their wand over his body, and their silver mask left enough of their face free so that I could see the sadistic joy Ian's pain brought.
An Auror brushed past me, nearly knocking me over while he brandished his wand at the Death Eater holding Ian captive. The Death Eater looked up, snarled a curse, and released Ian. He gasped, and Lily sobbed with relief.
"Ian," she sighed, moving to stand next to him.
But then… then a final stream of light flowed from the Death Eater's wand, green this time. Ian's body went limp, and his killer was gone in a puff of black smoke, before any Auror could detain him. It all happened so fast that my head reeled.
Lily bolted forward, and I was too stunned to stop her. I saw her feeling for a pulse, even though we both knew he was gone. Dead.
"Ian!" Lily screamed so loudly it hurt my ears. "Ian, wake up!" She hunched over his lifeless body. The image of my best friend breaking apart sent a new wave of terror through me. I told myself to go to her, to touch her, to try to comfort her.
But I couldn't.
All I could do was stare as Lily's sobs quieted to soft whimpers as she held Ian's head to her chest.
A still silence had fallen over the village; no screams, no sounds of battle, nothing. All the Death Eaters had disappeared. The only sounds were Aurors conversing among themselves, now having nothing to do but count the dead and wait for the Obliviators to arrive. I heard a low mention of two captured Death Eaters on the other side of town.
More pops filled the air as Ministry workers apparated onto the scene. Magical Law Enforcement, Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, surely. Maybe some others.
"Hey, Jones, isn't that your daughter?" someone muttered behind me.
"Alyssa?"
I turned, and there was my dad. My dad, who had been called onto scenes much like this one far too many times in the past several weeks. Dad, who'd come home worn out from having to wipe the memories of Muggles and relocate them, sometimes with entirely new identities.
"Daddy," I gasped as he got closer. I didn't realize I was holding back a sob until he had me in his arms. My fingers gripped his shirt as hot tears leaked out of my eyes.
"Alyssa, what are you doing here?" Dad asked in a strained voice, barely holding back his panic.
"I-Ian didn't show up at Diagon Al-alley," I stammered. "We came looking for him and got here and–"
He nodded, pulling me in closer when my voice failed. He pressed a kiss to my temple. "Are you hurt?"
I shook my head.
"Good." Dad pulled back and wiped my cheeks with his thumbs. "Let's get you and Lily home, all right?"
He took my hand like I was a little girl who couldn't cross the street by herself, then pulled me over to where an Auror had taken Lily to the side so that Ian's body could be moved. Dad took Lily's hand too, and then we were being pressed in on all sides while he apparated us home. My mum took one look at Lily's tearstained, blotchy face and pulled her into an embrace. While Dad went back to the decimated village, I turned to the window, concealing my own tears, and trying to breathe normally. I was glad my mother was there to be with Lily, as I suddenly incapable of movement.
"Why," I heard Lily cry into my mother's shoulders. "Why did it have to be my-" but her tears broke through her words. I shut my eyes as the tears fell.
Why.
o0o0o0o
"Hey, Jones."
A finger sharply poked my shoulder, and I jerked out of my daydream back into reality. Potter stood in front of me, brow furrowed in what might have been concern, but I was banking on discomfort. Or constipation.
"What?" I said, internally wincing at the gravelly edge to my voice. How long had I just been sitting there?
"Are you… all right?" Potter asked uncertainly, as though unsure of how I would react to the simple question.
I cleared my throat. "Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You were crying."
I hastily wiped my face with my sleeves. "No, I wasn't. Now what do you want? I know you didn't come to me out of the goodness of your heart."
He frowned some more, but didn't push. "Well, er… I was going to ask if you could ask Lily something for me."
Now sure that my face was dryer than a desert, I folded my hands in my lap and looked up at him. "James?"
Caught off guard by the use of his given name, he stared at me with wide eyes. "Yeah?"
"Am I covered in feathers?"
"Are you cov– What? Um… No?" The answer sounded like a question.
"Can I fly?"
"Not without a broom, I guess not," he said. "Jones, what does this have to do with anything?"
I ignored his question with all the innocence of a first year Hufflepuff. "Do I live among birds?"
"Well if by 'birds' you mean 'girls,' then–"
"My point is, Potter," I spoke over him, cutting off the rest of his unsavory declaration. "I am not your messenger owl! If you want to talk to Lily, talk to Lily! Not. Me." I threw my hands up in frustration. "Why is this a concept everyone seems to struggle with? Lily is not a hard person to talk to. Getting her to shut up is the problem, by Merlin!"
Seemingly stunned by my tirade, Potter blinked a couple times and stood. "Erm… okay then."
Now alone, I watched Potter's retreating back and pinched my nose, hoping to relieve some of the tension there. I hated October the fourteenth.
I picked up the book that had fallen off my lap and tried to get back into the story, but the words blurred together as my mind kept jumping back to the day Ian Darby died before my very eyes.
It shouldn't have been him, that much I agreed with Lily on. Call me a terrible person, but I wished it had been anyone other than Ian, if only to spare Lily that kind of pain. At least he would be here, with her, and she would still be happy.
"Hey, Lily!" I heard Potter say a few minutes later.
I glanced over and saw him standing in front of the entryway to the girls' staircase. Lily's shoulders were slumped, her hair falling limply out of her usually immaculate ponytail. Her body language screamed of exhaustion and low patience.
Potter began to say something, but Lily cut him off. "Will you please just bugger off, James?" Her words, while a repetition of her near constant rejection of his advances, held none of their usual bite.
Potter blinked, probably noticing the exact difference that I did. His mouth opened again, then closed, and he shook his head, stepping aside to let Lily by. He stared after her, perplexed. His face was turned toward me and I caught something I had not expected: worry. Probably close to the same look I had been wearing for most of the day.
As I turned back to my book, I wondered if maybe, just maybe James Potter was growing up and changing for the better.
Does anyone hate me yet? Let me know what you think and leave a review! See you all next Friday!
~AMQ