A few weeks had past since Harry had started to self harm. It had gotten worse, with him doing it every day. He had always done it when there was no one around as he knew that people would judge him for it. Some of the first cuts he did were slowly fading but the most recent ones stood out. Harry covered them up with a few charms and clothes..
The winter air hit Harry straight in the face as he walked out of the entrance hall and into the courtyard. He buttoned his robes all the way up to his chin and carried on walking. He looked up at the sky and sighed as the snow fell slowly and gracefully to earth. Harry sighed as this was his first snow without Cedric by his side, keeping him warm. He once again wanted to cry but knew that pain was to much to handle. After making sure no one was around he dragged himself off to a small stone alchove in the wall and placed a darkening charm on the place. He then knelt down and pulled up his sleeves, removing the charms on his arm so he could see the cuts. He pointed his wand, once again at his arm and cut himself. The warm liquid trickled down his arm and a few drops hit the floor. Suddenly Harry looked up as he felt eyes staring down at him. He gasped in shock as he saw Hermione stood there, her mouth dropped to the floor in shock. Harry could not say anything to his best friend but he knew his face said it all.
"Oh Harry" Hermione said, pulling him up and hugging him tightly "Why?"
"I'm sorry. Did you just ask me why, Well because my boyfriend is dead. Murdered by Draco Malfoy for no reason, no reason at all and that bastard got away with it. I have no way of letting out all the pain i am carrying so this way let's me focus on another pain for a few minutes. It is a blessed relief from the pain i have been carrying these past few weeks" He said, nearly shouting and on the edge of tears.
Hermione looked deep into Harry's eyes, gasped and stumbled back "You're in so much pain, I can see it in your eyes" Hermione cried, with tears running down her face. She could not believe why she did not see this eariler. He was her best friend and she had been blind for so long. She hugged him once again, holding him to her shoulder.
Harry felt a few tears escape his now wet eyes, dropping now onto Hermione's shoulder. He sort of felt relief now that one person had found out what he was doing to himself but at the same time he felt worried because Hermione could tell Ron and Harry didn't want that.
"Please, don't tell anyone" Harry cried
Hermione removed his head from her shoulders and looked at him.
"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me" She said, smiling a small sad smile
Hermione took Harry's hand and walked him back inside the castle. She walked him up to the griffyindor common room, their hands still enticed.
"What are we doing here?" Harry asked, looking around
Hermione didn't answer. Instead she walked him up to his bedroom which he shared with the others fourth year students. Hermione opened the door for him and saw that no one was in there. She was reliefed as she knew Harry would not want anyone around him. She led him to his four poster bed and layed him gently down on it. He sighed as his head hit the pillow and he felt a little bit safe.
"Now wait here while i get something" Hermione ordered him before leaving the room.
Harry looked up at the ceiling, letting his mind fill with memoris once again of his Beloved. A pang of Guilt hit him and filled his entire body until he felt like he was going to die from it. What would Cedric think if he knew Harry was doing this to himself? How would this make Cedric feel? Harry suddenly sat up as he heard the door swing open and He hid his face from the person that had just walked in. He felt the matress go down as the person sat at the end of the bed.
"Harry give me your arm" Hermione said
Harry looked at Her and extended his arm, letting her grab ahold of it. She uncorked a vial with her spare hand and poured a little of the liquid onto the cuts and scars. A little steam rose from his arm as the liquid covered the cuts. Hermione placed her hand onto them, to make sure the potion did not go all over the bed sheets. After doing this on all the cuts Hermione looked at Harry's arm to see all the flesh had repaired itself and there were no wounds on him. She corked the vial back up and threw it out of the window, getting rid of the evdience.
"How do you feel?" She asked Harry would had now covered his arm with his robes once more
"Still the same but thank you for that" He replied, hugging her once more and feeling the warmth from her body hit him.
They stayed like this for a few minutes before Hermione pulled back. She held Harry's hand and placed it to his heart.
"He is there Harry, Looking out for you and loving you. The one's we love never truly leave us" Hermione said, with a few tears running down her face
"Didn't Sirius say that last summer?" Harry asked, knowing the answer to it already without havning Hermione answer him
Hermione nodded and started to giggle. Harry started to join in and he suddenly felt a little bit better just from the giggling with a very good friend and not worrying about a lot of things for that moment in time. Hermione then got up from the bed and started to slowly walk out the the room.
"Hermione?" Harry shouted to her, wanting her to turn around
"Yes Harry?" She replied, turning around to face him
"I have never said, Thank you for always being there for me and being a great friend. It means a lot to me, your friendship, and Ron's to" He said quitely, with a hint of sadness in his voice.
Hermione did not say anything, instead she just smiled, You know, one of those smiles when you think everything is going to be alright, that somehow everything will sort itself out. But Harry knew everything would not be alright and never will be. Hermione walked out of the room and let harry get some sleep.
The strong smell of over brewed Potion was circiling around the Potions classroom, Making Harry and most of the other people in the room feel sick. Harry looked over to blaise, the Slytherin which Harry had also depised. But something that day had changed, Harry thought the slytherin looked hot with the sweat pouring down his face and his muscles ripping through his school robes. Harry licked his lips, wanting to devour him, sexually.
"Let's have you then"He said, loudly enough for Ron to hear me
"What?" Ron exclaimed
Harry blushed and didn't answer. Just in time the school bell rang to indicate the end of that period. Harry grabbed all of his things and hurried outside the door. He stood oppsite the door to the classroom, waiting for someone to come out and just like that Blaise Zabini walked out, with a small smile on his face.
"I saw you staring at me in there" Harry smiled at him
"Yeah, so what Potter?" Blaise replied
Harry did not answer, instead he grabbed Blaise by the scruff of the neck and pushed him up against the wall. He started to kiss him, with passion. Blaise opened his mouth to let Harry's tounge in, their tounges fighting each other for control. Suddenly the door to the classroom opened and everyone walked out, gasping at what they saw. Hermione pushed her way through the crowd and took ahold of Harry's hand.
"Harry, you don't want this" She whispered in his ear
Harry turned around and walked away from everyone, feeling ashamed with what he had done. He ran up to the viaduct and to the nearest bathroom. When he got there he locked himself into a cubicle and started to sob.
"Cedric, I am so very sorry my angel" He sobbed quitely
Harry could not handle this sort of pain above any of the others so he took out his wand and cut his cheek, the blood running down his face and onto his robes. He did not care if anyone saw this, he would just come up with a lie that he would make everyone believe.
Harry looked up as the door to the Bathroom slammed open. He heard the faint shuffle of footsetps etch closer and closer to him. He put his wand into his Robes and put his hand to his cheek, which now had dried blood on it. Harry quitely stood up on the toilet so his feet could not be seen as he was scared of who this person was. It could be anyone and he did now wnat anyone to see him like this, not with dried blood on his cheek. He heard the stranger turn on the tap and the cold water splash around the basin of the sink. After less then a mere second the water stopped and the bathroom was Harry's once more. He sat back down on the toilet and a few tears ran down his cheeks, washing away some of the blood. How can people think that this feeling would past, That he would get over Cedric and move on? That was one thing he couldn't do and one thing he didn't want to do. He had to hold onto this pain of heartbreak and lose to remember Cedric as he could feel the good memories slipping away, even through he tried hard at not letting them. He got himself together and unlocked the door to the toilet. He peeked out just in case someone was there and then walked slowly out of the bathroom, with the cut on his face still showing. He looked around the corrdior and saw a few first year students talking together in a group
For a moment, the first years stared at Harry, as he did not move, staring back at them, too. Harry sighed slightly, still watching the first years as he began to walk again, trying to hide what had happened in the bathroom. His slow walk turned into a brisk one, and then, a slight jog, before he began to run fully. The first years watched him still until out of their sight, and turned back to eachother has he ran out of it completely, sniggering at him under their breath. Harry's pace got faster as he edged closer to his destination - the Gryffindor Common Room. He thought it might be a bad idea going there, he had no idea who was going to be there when he arrived, and this could limit him, depending on who it were. This wasn't even the time to see Ron, or Hermione, in his mind, he had no excuses as to where he had been, and he could hardly confess the truth to them, not today, anyway. The Gryffindor Common room was Harry's gamble, it was the place he thought best to go, whether it actually were, or not, was a different matter.
Harry said the password quietly to the Fat lady as he was close to tears and he knew that if he spoke any louder he would burst out crying. The protrait swung open and Harry ran into the Common room. He sighed with deep relief as he saw the common rooom was empty and quiet, apart from a few of the smaller protraits having a quarrel with each other. Harry sat down in the chair in front of the fireplace which normally would be roaring with a bright orange flame but not today for some reason. He closed his eyes, wanting to get a few minutes of peace but it looked like fate had another idea. Harry opened his eyes and saw the ignorant pig Cormac mclaggan standing in front of him, with his hands on his hips
"What the hell do you want?" Harry snapped at him with a snarl
"I heard about the incident after Potions class" He began before Harry cut him off
"And what, you are here to rub my sexuality in my face and make fun of me" He replied
"Obviously. But would you expect anything else from me?" Cormac replied, his voice still as cocky as it always was. Harry shook his head slightly, looking down at the ground.
"So go on then," He spat out, waiting for Cormac to 'do his worst'. For a moment, they both just stood there, Cormac scowling, Harry scowling. Harry was just about to turn on his heels and walk out again, before Cormac stopped him.
"WHAT?" Harry shouted at him, trying to wriggle out of Cormac's hands.
Cormac suddenly pulled Harry close to him so their bodys were touching and their facces were mere inches away from each other. Harry was still trying to struggle out of Cormac's arms but didn't suceed in this misson. Cormac suddenly Kissed Harry, deeply. Harry broke free of the kiss and punched Cormac in the face before pulling his wand out and pointing it at Cormac's head
"Mens Congelo" Harry shouted at him.
Cormac just stood there in one spot before falling to the ground in pain, grabbing his head
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?" He shouted at Harry, whimpering in pain
Harry did not answer, instead he pointed at the door and suddenly Cormac flew out of the Common room by an unknown force. Harry sighed at the thought of the quiet he would now get. He walked slowly up to the dormatery and layed on his four poster bed. He closed his eyes and before he knew it he was asleep, Dreaming of anything his mind could come up with.
Harry slowly opened his eyes as the sun shone brightly through the dorm. He sighed at the thought of another day in the castle that brought back memories but there was nothing he could do about that. He rolled out of the four poster bed and walked into the bathroom, after picking up his school uniform. When he walked through the door he locked the door and walked to the row of mirrors that were on the right wall. Harry brushed his hair out of his eyes and started to get dressed. He threw on his shirt, which was creased as the house elfs had not been around to the common room that night. He threw on the rest of his clothes, not really worrying about how he looked. He bent down and turned on the cold tap, the cold water gushing out in an instant and some of it splashing onto Harry's robes. He cupped his hands and let the water run into them. He splashed it onto his face to wake him up properly and he shivered for a second as the ice water met his flesh. He walked out of the bathroom and walked slowly down to the common room where he knew Hermione and Ron would be waiting for him.
He saw them standing there, looking up at him with smiles on their faces. Harry smiled back a weak smile and walked to them. He nodded at both of them and then started to walk out of the common room. The grand staircase was filled with students running to their lessons as the school bell rang loudly around the castle. Hermione grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him into a hug, one where Harry knew just from the hug that today would be alright, Well hopefully it would be. Hermione linked arms with both him and Ron and started to walk down the staircase, well she flowed just as she always did. Harry looked back to Ron and Ron looked at him. Ron shrugged his shoulders in confusion and Harry just raised his eyebrows.
When they got to their first lesson which was Defence against the dark arts, They saw that Blaise was talking to his fellow slytherin, Pansy Parkinson. She looked at Blaise like he had just told her something really important, Something that was more important than anything else. Harry looked at Hermione and she nodded, knowing what Harry was going to do. He broke from the group and walked near to Blaise and Pansy. He listened closely to what they were talking about and focused everything else out.
"Are you sure it was Draco?" Pansy asked, frozen on the spot
"Yeah I'm sure, I think I would know seeing as I have seen that boy every day since he started here" Blaise whispered back as quietly as he could
"But why would he come back here after what he did, I mean I knew he was evil but killing someone that did nothing wrong is something I thought Draco would never do" Pansy said
That shocked Harry to the core as he thought that Pansy was just as evil as Draco, maybe even more evil but maybe Harry had got her wrong. Maybe she wasn't evil, just acting like it to fit in.
Harry went back to Ron and Hermione and stood still, waiting for either one of them to say something first and he didn't have to wait long.
"What were they talking about Harry?" Hermione asked quietly, looking at him
"Him, they were talking about him and how Blaise had seen him in the castle" Harry said, nearly crying just from the fact that somehow Draco had been back here after what he had done.
Both Ron and Hermione jaws dropped open at that and Harry knew they were just as shocked and Horrified as he was. Ron placed one hand on Harry's shoulder and then hugged him, One thing Ron had not done before.
At that moment the door to the classroom swung open and Moody ushered the students inside. They all took their normal seats and quietened down as they knew the temper Moody had when the class talked when he was suppose to be teaching.
Halfway through the lesson Harry felt someone tap his shoulder so he turned around and saw Hermione passing him a piece of parchment folded in half. Harry took it and turned back round quickly. He opened the parchment under the table and read "Talk to me after, Meet me in the astronomy tower" Harry re-read it and then placed it in his robe pocket. He carried on taking notes from the lesson, not really taking interest in what was being said.
After the hour was over, Harry stuffed his work into his bag and walked out of the classroom. He started to walk in the direction of the Astronomy tower to wait for Hermione. When he got there he walked over to one of the bookcases that were there and sat down in front of it. Not long after he heard the sound of footsteps and looked up. He saw Hermione standing over him smiling. She sat down next to him and took his hand into hers.
"Why would he come back Hermione?" Harry asked, with the sound of fear and pain in his voice
"I really don't know Harry but I wish I did. Everyone knows what he did and Blaise should of reported it to Snape or Dumbledore right away" Hermione replied
Harry sniggered "If Blaise told Snape then he would of just hidden it from everyone else and of told Blaise to keep it a secret, You know how close Snape is to the Malfoy family"
"Then we need to report it to Dumbledore, before Draco has the chance to do it again, If he managed to get in then there is nothing that can stop him again unless we tell Dumbledore" Hermione said, standing up and pulling Harry up.
Harry swung his bag around his shoulder and started to walk with Hermione to Dumbledore's Office. Hermione placed her hand into his and smiled at him wanting him to feel safe and protected. Harry smiled back at her and then looked forward.
They reached the Golden Bird that led to the headmaster's office and Harry stepped forward. He knew how to gain access to the Officer after visiting it a few times.
"Acid Pops" He said, making it sound more like a command.
The gargoyle started to move and a staircase started to appear from the floor. Harry grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled them onto the moving staircase. Hermione looked up and saw that the glass ceiling at the top was getting nearer and nearer to them. When they reached the doorway to the Office Harry knocked three times before hearing the Headmaster's voice telling them to enter.