A/N: First of all, apologies for no chapter last night. I was having a bit of a pity-party and not in the mood to deal with updating. That said, I may be pushing updates back to every other day. I have to look over the last few chapters and I think I might want to add a few things, I'm just trying to decide how much, so I might need the time. Thanks for sticking with me!

And second, I feel like I should add a disclaimer of sorts for the conversation T&Z have at the very end. I have tried to do my research about Jewish faith and beliefs, but if I've gotten anything wrong, I offer a sincere early apology. And I hope it's okay, because I really like how it turned out. Thanks so much for everything, you guys are awesome! ~Aliyah

Sarah (Ch 87) - You're welcome, I like being able to reply to people. Oh, there are some very fun one-shots in the Snapshots series, I'm really looking forward to posting them. Thanks for your confidence :) Yes, Tony definitely needed the outlet for his anger. He's been doing small things for it, and he decompresses differently than Ziva, but sometimes he just needs something physical to let all the emotions out. It was a very uncomfortable session but I agree, somehow it's still progress. haha...oh Sammy, I love that puppy. I can't have one, so I use him here as often as I can. Thanks! I have had that scene for awhile, I kinda wanted to deal with Jeanne and just get that out of the way. I can't remember a lot of specifics either. But he shut her out, he ignored her, he wouldn't let her help. She was very concerned that he was sick again and Tony never disputed that. But Z did try to be around when he needed someone. Even if her advice wasn't necessarily always gentle. Thanks :) Always nice to hear that. Yes, Z letting Tony help at the end was huge, as was her ability simply to enjoy their interactions. Thanks so much for the review!

As a federal agent, Matt Collins didn't often find himself nervous. But today, standing outside his girlfriend's apartment and preparing to meet one of the most important guys in her life, Matt had to rub sweaty palms on his shorts and take a deep breath before knocking. Tami answered the door with a smile and a quick kiss - she was still shy about being affectionate with him around others. A man his height but with blonde hair that matched Tami's, blue eyes, sporting glasses and an earring in one ear, came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. He assessed Matt quickly.

"Gonna introduce me sis?"

Tami's smile grew nervous and she cleared her throat. "Uh, Trevor this is my boyfriend Matt. Matt, this is my twin brother and best friend in the whole world, Trevor."

Matt shook the hand Trevor held out, not missing the significance in his gaze or the almost uncomfortable firmness of his grip. "It's nice to meet you."

Trevor nodded. "Likewise. Usually nobody gets to be with her as long as you without going through me and Tristan, but when she moved to a different state, Tami complicated the process."

Red crept into her cheeks and she elbowed her brother. "Keep it up and I'm not feeding you," she warned. Then to Matt. "Excuse his manners, twenty-five years later I'm still working on him."

"Whatever you say nerd," he teased affectionately.

Tami rolled her eyes, he was a lost cause. "Matt, can you help me in the kitchen?"

He started to follow her but Trevor held up a hand to stop him. "Nice try, but Romeo here doesn't get off that easily."

She sighed but said nothing, knowing it would be ten times worse if he'd managed to drag Tristan here with him. Thank God her oldest brother lived on the other side of the country. Being the only girl of dating age in her family was never easy. Disappearing around the corner, she left the boys to their bonding time.

Trevor pointed to the table. "Sit. I'll be right back." Seeing as he had no choice, Matt pulled out a chair and Trevor was back in a minute with two cups of coffee. "Black with sugar?" Matt accepted the mug and Trevor sat across from him. "So, you like my sister."

Matt chuckled. "Three moths later I'd say yeah, that's a definite possibility."

Trevor didn't seem amused. "Are you serious?"

Matt took a sip. "Is this an interrogation?"

"Just a friendly evaluation," Trevor corrected.

The agent leaned back. "I think Tami's old enough to make up her own mind."

"She may have chosen you, but Tami and I, we're closer than normal siblings. There's things I need to know."

Accepting that the matter was out of his hands, the dark haired man nodded. "I'm serious."

"What do you want out of this relationship?" Trevor pried.

"I'm in no hurry," Matt made that clear. "I enjoy spending time with her, we were good friends first before I asked her out. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better and seeing how and where this all goes. But she took a month to decide that she wanted to date me, I refuse to rush anything."

"Good, because Tami doesn't do relationships well with people that aren't family," Trevor said bluntly and a quarter sailed through the air, smacking him in the back of the head. "Ow!" Trevor sat up and looked over his shoulder to find Tami staring darkly at him.

"Stop acting like you're my babysitter," she demanded. "If you have anything important to say, ask it now. Supper is almost ready."

Trevor's expression became sheepish and he turned back to Matt. "Busted."

"You guys always so protective of her?" Matt questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes." His answer was immediate. "Tami was picked on a lot when we were young and until he left for California, Tristan protected both of us. When he moved he passed that job to me. I don't want to see my sister get hurt."

"Neither do I," Matt said solemnly. "I want to make her happy. I like having her in my life. What more can I tell you?" Whatever happened, he needed her brother's approval.

Trevor looked at him intently. "That's enough for now. Come on, let's get stuff to set the table."

Matt knew where to find things and handed plates and cutlery to Trevor. Before leaving, he kissed Tami's cheek. "He's not going to scare me away. But I'm glad he cares enough to ask those questions." His whispered words made her smile and a few minutes later she brought out several dishes to put on the table.

"Help yourselves."

Trevor said a quick blessing once their plates were full and the conversation among the group ranged from sports to jobs to growing up stories. Tami had made raspberry and peach pudding for dessert and the guys each had several servings. Finally Trevor excused himself to the bathroom and Tami held out her hand to Matt. "Sit with me?"

He followed her to the couch, pleased when she curled up beside him like normal. Trevor came back and eyed them warily. "You get to pick the movie," Tami told her brother cheerfully. Trevor snapped himself out of it and perused her collection, settling on Transformers.

The longer Matt stayed the more comfortable he got and soon he was touching and kissing Tami just like he usually would. Trevor gave them several sideways glances hoping they'd give it up, but they didn't. He wasn't a huge fan of seeing Tami so cozy with a guy, his thumb stroking back and forth over her knee, but the smile on his sister's face made him think twice about saying anything. At the end of the evening Tami walked her boyfriend to the door and said goodnight. Trevor held out his hand and smiled, giving Matt the feeling he'd passed some sort of test. He kissed his girlfriend softly and left, promising to see her at work the next day.

"I'm taking the day off because Trevor is here," she reminded him. "Lunch Tuesday?"

"You got it. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," the twins echoed.

Closing the door, Tami faced her brother with crossed arms. "Well?"

Trevor shrugged. "He's not so bad. Wanna play Scrabble?"

She was used to him switching gears quickly when he was uncomfortable and went with it. "You'll lose," Tami predicted. "But we can do chess after."

"Deal," Trevor grinned, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "I've missed you Squirt."

"I'm glad you could come Pip," she affirmed. "I get the blue pieces."

Trevor rolled his eyes. "You always get blue and you always win. Should I be seeing a pattern here?"

Tami shrugged and winked. "Just because your favourite colour is orange, don't blame me. As for my secret, I guess you'll never know. Go make the kettle corn." It was a staple game playing snack food for them.

Doing as ordered, Trevor smiled. Sometime he missed the old days. Being grown up wasn't always what it was cracked up to be. Some days he really missed his family.

NCIS

Tony came upstairs Wednesday night after locking the doors and paused at the nursery to look in on his daughter. Smiling at the way she slept, he headed for his bedroom but stopped dead and gaped at Ziva, laying innocently under the covers. "That's my side of the bed!"

Ziva lifted an eyebrow and sent him a coy smiled. "You can fight me for it," she offered and shock showed on his face.

Tony pulled off his shirt and let his pants fall to the floor before approaching the bed and leaning over her, his hands on either side of her body. "Well that sounds like an offer I can't refuse."

She pushed him back but the twinkle in her eyes was a confirmation that this was merely the beginning of the game, not a fear reaction. Tony tried to rip the blankets from her hands but Ziva held them tightly, so he reached under and attacked her ribs. Ziva jumped in surprised and he used the moment jerk the covers away and bent to get a kiss. Rolling over, Ziva hid her face from him, curling up in a ball.

Tony flopped on the bed beside her, always being cautious of a response that would mean this wasn't fun anymore and tried to get her arms down. They wrestled for several moments and Ziva ended up on top of him, staring down into his eyes before she let him claim his prize. Tony's hands slid down the silk of her nightie - green this time and v-cut with black lace lining the top - and over her backside, stunned to immobility when he discovered Ziva wasn't wearing anything under the lingerie.

His eyes snapped to hers. "I am braver now," she whispered, capturing his lips and caressing his face with her hands.

This wasn't their first time, nor second or third, and despite her assertion Tony was still careful with her just in case. But when they lay sweaty and satisfied beside each other some time later, he wondered if this was when it became okay to actually have fun together. This was what intimacy was supposed to look like.

NCIS

Ziva tossing beside him was what brought Tony out of a deep peaceful sleep. He rubbed a hand down his face, trying to wake up, and reached over to touch his wife. But the nightmare had her hard and she slapped him away, her expression fierce and arms up to ward off an attack. Tony sighed and moved cautiously to wrap his hands around her wrists. Surprise made him more alert when Ziva wrenched away from his grip and Tony suddenly realized how much stronger she'd become since their early days after Somalia.

"Ziva," he called and her head whipped toward the sound of his voice. Tony tried to get his arms around her so he could pin her against his chest until she calmed down, but Ziva scrambled out of bed and backed herself into the corner, hands up to protect her face.

"Do not hurt me," she whimpered and Tony wasn't sure he was strong enough to keep fighting. But he had to get her out of there, it wasn't safe.

"Ziva please," he begged, getting up to go to her. She lashed out when he got in her space but Tony grabbed an arm and spun her around, effectively trapping Ziva in his arms, though not fast enough to avoid the elbow that rammed into his ribs. Grunting, he caught his breath and shook her. "Ziva, wake up!" She came out of the dream with a gasp, shivering as her head swivelled frantically from left to right, eyes searching for somewhere safe. Tony turned and pressed his back into the corner, bringing them both to the floor. "It's okay Zi, it's me."

Ziva sobbed in relief and tried desperately to shrink into him further. Tony just held her, running his fingers through her hair and waiting for the memories to subside. Finally she sat up and pushed her hands into her hair, leaning her elbows on her knees. "I want it to stop Tony," she whispered hoarsely. "I want to wake up and remember us, not the camp, not all those other men doing things I cannot forget."

His heart broke for her and Tony dropped his head to rest on hers. "That's what I'll wish for you then, that someday when you wake up it will just be us. I wish I could make that reality for you now."

Tears caught in her throat and she leaned back against him. "Tony, please do not let go."

"Never," he promised, rocking her gently. It would be tearing out his own heart to give up on them now. "Never."

NCIS

Friday was Abby's last official day of work until she returned after the baby was born, approximately ten weeks from now. Although Gibbs and McGee had tried, no one could get her to take maternity leave earlier than thirty-eight weeks, and even then she continually moaned about how much she would miss everyone and everything. All through the day cards, packages of licorice, blue cups of Caf-Pow with 'We'll miss yous' scribbled all over them and bouquets of black roses had been pouring in. By quitting time, Abby was overwhelmed to the point of tears and failing in her attempt to get Gibbs to reconsider letting her stay until her water broke.

"I don't know what I'll do at home all day, and Major Mass Spec will miss me, and how can I keep Bert and Sammy away from Tami for so long? You know how much she loves them. She probably won't be able to work without them. You need me Gibbs! To put up with Tony's jokes and drink the Caf-Pow you bring and -"

Gibbs gently put a finger over her lips. "We'll all miss you Abs, but it's time to get ready for your baby."

Her face fell just as the team filed in, including Matt who moved to stand behind Tami with his hands on her shoulders. Each person was holding a different stuffed animal wearing a red or black ribbon. "For the baby," Ziva explained, handing over her offering of a grey elephant.

"Trust you to be unique even with baby toys," Tony quipped, sitting a crocodile beside his wife's choice.

McGee added a smaller version of Bert to the group and smiled. "He laughs when you hug him. We can call him BB, for Baby Bert."

Abby's smile softened and her surprise rose when Tami stepped forward, proudly displaying the soft stuffed spider she'd work hard to find. "It seemed to fit the theme," she shrugged, gesturing to some of Abby's decor before returning to Matt.

"I know I'm not really on the team anymore, but I didn't figure a giraffe could hurt," Matt explained, setting the animal in front of Abby.

In a surprise move, Abby threw her arms around Matt and hugged him hard. "You still count."

Relieved to hear it because he wanted to fit with these people, Matt hugged her back. "Thanks."

Abby pulled away and grinned. "The Bossman doesn't take kindly to any couple stuff in the lab, so if you're going to kiss your girlfriend, make sure you lock the door." She winked at Gibbs and stepped back to look at the group.

"Thanks guys, for everything. Don't forget about me."

"You will not be gone forever Abby," Ziva reminded her, "even if it feels that way."

"Forget about you Abs?" Tony asked in amazement, wrapping his little sister in a hug. "Not even possible."

Gibbs drew her into a tight embrace and kissed her cheek. "You won't be alone," he whispered, reaffirming his words from a recent conversation in his basement.

"I'll have Caf-Pow waiting when you come back," Matt promised.

Tami was nervous. "It won't be the same without you."

Abby eyed her seriously. "You're in charge now. Don't let anyone push you around and take care of my babies." She pointed a finger at Matt.

"I'm deputizing you. Make sure no one bullies my assistant, not even him," she looked over her shoulder at Gibbs, giving him an 'I know you' look when he shook his head.

Matt grinned. "Yes ma'am."

Abby clasped her hands and faced her boss. "Can I keep her?"

Gibbs chuckled. "Whatever you like Abs, your lab."

"Good."

She grinned at Tami. "You can stay, if you want."

"Uh...sure," she stuttered, then cleared her throat. "I mean, I'd be honoured," Tami managed, having not expected that. "Thank you."

Abby sighed and gathered up the toys, then gazed around the lab one last time. "Okay, let's go."

McGee carried her flowers, cards, and candy in a box out to the car, fitting everything into the back seat before helping Abby get settled and lifting Sammy in to sit at her feet. Abby was unusually quiet on the way home and once they got inside, she sat down on the couch and burst into tears. Knowing nothing he could say would help, Tim placed Sammy beside her and the puppy rested his head on what was left of her rapidly shrinking lap, sensing her sadness.

Then McGee put his arm around his wife and just let her cry. Finally she sniffed and wiped away the wetness, smearing streaks of black mascara across her cheeks. "I miss my lab already Timmy."

"I know you do honey, but it won't be so bad, you'll see." He kissed her temple. "Why don't you go take a bath? It'll probably help."

She nodded and pushed herself up, moving slowly to the bathroom. Once there she looked in the mirror and gasped. "McGee, why didn't you tell me I look like a raccoon?"

He poked his head in the door. "You're a really, really cute raccoon."

Abby tossed a wet, mascara stained cloth at him and closed the door, laughing. Tim waited for a moment until the water started running, and returned to the first floor to start supper and get her flowers put in water. This was going to be a big change. All he could do right now was be there for her and make sure to always have a hug available. Hugs were Abby's favourite medicine.

NCIS

Tony stepped into the house Saturday afternoon, ready for a break from tinkering with the sprinkler system, and was caught by surprise at the sight of Ziva dancing around the dining area with Chaya, loud Hebrew music pouring from her iPod speakers. The little girl was laughing and Ziva was smiling, her eyes completely unshadowed. That was rare.

He stood at the door and watched them until Ziva put Chaya in her high chair and danced her way into the kitchen. Then Tony walked silently up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. Ziva tensed, but relaxed almost immediately when he nuzzled behind her ear. "Hello beautiful."

Ziva turned in his arms and smiled, playing along as her husband spun her around the kitchen. Finally she pulled away. "What was that for?"

He tugged her back into him and covered her lips with his. "Because you're irresistible Zi."

She kissed him back, patting his cheek lightly. "Extra points for that," Ziva whispered, then went back to the dough she had been working with before her favourite song came on and Chaya became her dance partner.

Tony wasn't about to be put off so easily and leaned back against the counter, watching her movements intently. "What're you making?"

Ziva wiped the back of her wrist across her forehead and separated the dough in half, then began evenly dividing the first half into six pieces. She formed the pieces into balls and started rolling them out into strips with her hands. "Challah bread."

Tony washed his hands and then continued observing. "I thought that was for Fridays."

She shrugged, evening out the foot-long strips and pinching the tops together, her fingers moving gracefully to weave the dough together in a thick braid. "Yes, as a tradition. But I have not taken part in it for many years and I want to make sure I can do it right, before I do it for real."

He waited until Ziva tucked the ends underneath and moved the raw dough to a baking tray before offering his assistance with the second loaf. She nodded and Tony followed her lead in making the same number of balls and rolling them out, but left the braiding to her. "Well, as previously stated, I'm always happy to be a guinea pig for your fabulous cooking experiments."

Ziva laughed. "You should wait to see how it turns out before you get too excited."

The second loaf was transferred to the tray and slid neatly into the oven, then she began wiping the counter while Tony started water for doing dishes. They worked together and the stack was soon clean and dripping on the drying rack. He grabbed a towel and helped her dry. "Zi?"

She looked up. "Mmm?"

"Do you wish you were...more Jewish?"

Ziva frowned. "I will always be Jewish Tony, you cannot be more or less."

"No," he shook his head, "I mean, do you wish you still followed all the rules and stuff?"

She sighed. "I was so angry after we lost Tali, I did not want anything to do with G-d, all I cared about was revenge. But when I got it, it was not sweet at all and it did nothing to heal the hurt and bitterness in my heart. Still, I flaunted my actions in the face of my faith, daring G-d to do something about me. For a long time I thought Somalia was a punishment for my recklessness, and my disregard of the truth I was raised to know. But I have come to understand that my life is a gift, that you and Chaya and our family is proof I can see that HaShem never stopped caring for me, no matter what I did before." Ziva set the towel down and tried to sort out her thoughts. "I told Devon once that I miss being observant. I have become an American Tony, but my heart will always be Israeli, and the Jewish faith is a large part of me. I think, in some small ways, I would like to being moving back to everything I once walked away from."

Tony took her hands. "What does that mean for us?"

She gave him a small smile. "I am not asking you to convert, but perhaps you could encourage me in what I am trying to do." Ziva shrugged. "I would like for you to join me at Temple just once, to see what it is like. But I think I will go first by myself and speak to the rabbi." She eyed him seriously. "Do not let me give up."

His hands rubbed up and down her arms. "That I can promise. What about Chaya?"

The question took some consideration and when she answered, Ziva spoke slowly. "I believe I would like our daughter to have the freedom to choose. That is a precious gift."

Tony kissed her. "You're so wise sometimes."

She smirked. "Only sometimes?"

He snorted. "Not falling for that one." Tony slid his arms around her waist. "If you let me know what you're planning to do to return to your faith, I'll do everything I can to support you. Deal?" He held out his pinky finger and Ziva chuckled, linking hers with his.

"Yes, it is a deal."

Tony brushed his lips over her forehead. "Good. Now when do I get to taste this bread? Because it's starting to smell like heaven in here and I think I need a sample."

Ziva rolled her eyes and snapped him with the damp towel, checking the timer. "Ten minutes, maybe less."

"Really?" He strolled across the room to check on his sleeping daughter in her swing and then tugged his wife towards the couch, falling backwards onto it with Ziva in his arms. "I believe that's just enough time to show you some of my talents in the kissing department."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is that so? Well, never let it be said I turned down a free lesson."

Tony wiggled around and got more comfortable, then guided Ziva's mouth to his. "Good choice Mrs. DiNozzo," he whispered against her lips. "This is my favourite way to say I love you."

For the next several minutes while Tony practiced his tried and true techniques honed over years of practice, Ziva had to agree that making out with her husband was just as good as hearing those words spoken out loud. And she wouldn't trade this moment for the whole world.