Title: Strings Attached
Author: owlet
Rating: M (maybe not really, I just want to be sure)
Disclaimer: JMS wrote everything B5, Warner Brothers® gave it a place to stay (at least for a while, sigh) nothing here is mine.
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5
Sovann just smiled as I told her about it the next day. She was visiting the archives to get some information on the first Rangers, and I had taken the opportunity to talk to her while helping her find what she was looking for.
"I told you that he might subtly try to move things along," she said.
"But he's so nice to me – that worries me a little. I don't know, if..." I let my voice trail off as I typed another query.
"If he is being sincere?" Sovann finished my sentence, catching my hands.
"Yes," I sighed, feeling a bit stupid. When had this become a teenage drama?
Sovann shook her head and grinned.
"You spent three nights watching his true face. What was it like?"
I shrugged.
"Nice, I guess."
The little priestess beamed at me.
"So there."
I withdrew my hands, finished the query and helped her find the right scrolls.
...
The Rangers as such were pretty supportive – a discrete wriggle of eyebrows was the worst I got (I usually responded with a grin, and a gesture involving two fingers).
All seemed to be going well until the inevitable happened and the most fanatic of the Warrior Caste, the Wind Swords, sent a delegation in protest.
I'll never know how I happened to cross their path in the gardens, I guess I'm just lucky that way.
They surrounded me quickly, all five of them. I really was in deep, deep doodoo this time.
"That is the little nishai, isn't it?" one of them sneered.
Animal. He'd just called me an animal. This was going to get really ugly. My hand went to my belt. Where was my den'bok? In my quarters. I felt safe in the Ranger compound and rarely ever carried a weapon here. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"I don't know," one of the two females drawled, "they all look the same to me. Scrawny little thing, isn't she?"
I tried to get away, but I was grabbed from behind, and my head was pulled back by my braid to expose my neck.
"Let me go," I said, trying to sound calm.
Something pointy touched my throat. Wrist knives.
Oh joy.
I only got a sneer in response.
"Who will miss you, little nishai? No one," the Minbari threatening me hissed into my ear.
I closed my eyes. The only thing we do know is that we will die; not when, how, or whether it will be with honour...
I would not beg for my life.
"What do you think you are doing?"
I knew that voice. And, boy, was I glad to hear it.
"Releasing you from a burden, Shai-Alyt," the female who had spoken before said. "We understand why you chose her, but you must be glad to get rid of her."
"You understand nothing," Coplann hissed.
I never, ever wanted that tone directed at me. Ever.
"You are insulting the Anla-Shok by treating one of theirs this way. This may mean nothing to you, but you are also insulting me; and that should mean something. Now release my Sa'Fela and get out of my sight."
He came into my view then, all sleek, deadly grace, exuding danger. The sight of him like that almost made the bottom drop out of my stomach – and he was on my side!
The Wind Swords obeyed immediately and disappeared down one of the winding paths; I numbly stared at their retreating backs in shock, my heart thundering inside my chest.
"Andrea?" Coplann asked, reaching for my hand. The steel was wrapped in velvet again. "Were you harmed?"
I avoided his eyes.
"No, I'm fine. It's all my fault anyway, I left my den'bok in my quarters," I mumbled.
"Do you really think it would have made any difference? Wind Swords specialize in close combat."
"Maybe not," I said with a grimace, and looked up.
He seemed relaxed, and the humorous twinkle was back in his eyes.
I sighed.
"Thank you. But you do realise that this Wind Sword was right, do you? You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble, if you had just let them finish me off."
He rolled his eyes at that, one of the gestures Minbari and humans shared.
"Let it go, Andrea. Come, have dinner with me. Invite your friends along; it won't count as a courtship ritual that way.
He was on to me. Damn.
"No, it's all right," I said with a shake of my head, "I'll have dinner with you. Alone."
"Good," he said with a satisfied expression on his face.
I quickly changed the topic as we made our way to his quarters.
"I thought you were pretty scary, back there," I said.
"Thank you," he replied with a grin, "So did they."
We shared a look and I snickered.
Dinner was served within minutes. I was a little surprised.
"You had this planned, did you?"
"No, but I like being prepared." he said with a smirk, "Try the Flarn, it's delicious."
I shrugged and did; and it was.
Coplann simply looked at me, obviously considering something.
"Do you trust me?" he asked after a few moments of silence, every hint of humour gone from his voice.
That threw me for a loop a bit.
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Please, just answer the question; do you trust me?" he asked gently.
I swallowed.
"Well," I hedged, "I guess so. In a way. I don't think you'd deliberately harm me."
He nodded slowly, as if he'd been expecting that answer.
"I would have liked to give you all the time you needed to adjust; but it seems like we no longer have that luxury."
Whoa...
"What do you mean?" I asked cautiously.
"Andrea, I know that you are less than happy with this situation; and I know that you are trying to delay the inevitable as much as possible. And I don't blame you for that," he said earnestly, his voice and face compassionate.
I bit my lip and averted my eyes. He really was on to me. Damn.
"Please, it's obvious," he continued, "And I don't mind. I've had much longer to come to terms with this, and it was me who made this decision; it is only fair to let you come to terms with our bond at your own time."
And here I'd been thinking that I'd been clever. I hid my face in my hands in embarrassment.
Coplann reached over the table, took my hands, and pulled them away from my face.
"And now the Wind Swords made their move, they tried to kill you. Obviously they hadn't thought that I'd be willing to protect you, or they would have tried to assassinate you in secret."
I nodded and met his eyes.
"And they might yet try that."
"Yes."
I groaned. I had an inkling of where this was going.
"Andrea, I will not pressure you into anything, just please keep in mind that you will only be truly safe once our bond is finalised."
Oh?
"And why is that?" I asked.
"As soon as you are my sala, and the bond is registered in the archives of Yedor, there will be no questioning your status as a Minbari. And Minbari..."
"... do not kill Minbari." I finished for him. "I get it."
"Yes."
I looked down at my plate. It was almost empty.
"I... I need to think about this, Coplann," I said.
"Of course," he replied serenely.
"Thanks. Good night, I suppose. And my apologies. First meals are supposed to go better than this, I suppose; without one of the participants storming out on confusion," I quipped with a weak smile.
"We will improve over the years," he replied with a lopsided grin.
I grimaced. That was so not what I needed to hear at the moment.
"Please don't remind me. Bye."
Exit Andrea stage left side.
...
Just when I thought that everything was going all right (sort of), there were Wind Swords out for my blood, Coplann had seen right through me, and that voice inside my head was at it again with shitshitshitshitshit.
All right, we needed that shared meditation ASAP – but the thought of visiting his parents made me feel quite queasy. The thought of taking him to Earth to meet mine even more so. I settled in my quarters and tried a little meditation (the gardens seemed like too much of a risk), but it didn't work. I was in too much turmoil.
Tavin – yes, visiting Tavin seemed like a good idea. She was the stoic one, almost nothing ever fazed her. I just hoped that she had time for me; involved in her own courtship as she was.
She was; not alone, that is.
Tavin and her companion bowed to me, which I did as well, and they asked me in. Then, proper Minbari that they were, they offered me some tea, which I gladly accepted.
We drank.
As most Ranger quarters Tavin's room was sparse and neat, only some exotic weapons decorating the walls hinted at her Warrior Caste background. Laval and I were the exception to that rule – my quarters were usually cluttered with scrolls and data crystals (I was working on an account of the Civil War in addition to my duties in the archives), and Laval's with whatever she was tinkering with at the moment.
She introduced me to her companion, Nelenn, the young Firewing in question, and, direct as always, asked me what was wrong. I told her about the attack on me and Coplann's ominous news.
After I had finished, Tavin just sat there, thinking, and Nelenn shook his head.
"They never learn, do they?" he said, sounding exasperated. "Shakiri led them, all of us, to dishonour – how can they think to regain what was lost by continuing to follow his cursed path?"
I just had to smile. He was like an overeager puppy, all huge, liquid eyes and sincere, worried expression.
"Hm," I said, leaning back in my chair, "So the rest of the Warrior Caste doesn't share their views?"
He shook his head.
"No. Most of us aren't too fond of humans, but we have come to respect them."
I nodded. So it really was just one clan. That in itself was bad enough, but at least it wasn't the whole caste ganging up on me. But they wouldn't lift a finger to help me either.
"Other than that," Tavin interjected, "I think Coplann is right. You should progress with the courtship as quickly as possible to ensure your safety."
I sighed.
"Tavin, do you know what that means for me?" I asked, my voice shrill in my own ears.
My friend just shrugged and gave me a level look.
"Better than being dead, no?"
"That I'm not sure about," I quipped.
Nelenn came to my rescue.
"We will both try to collect information so you'll be forewarned. We have many friends in all the Warrior clans. Between Coplann and us you will be kept safe, do not worry."
I was quite relieved to hear that.
"Thank you, Both of you," I said with what felt like the first genuine smile that day.
Since I didn't want to disturb them any longer, I excused myself and left.
My feet carried me back to my quarters, where I checked my com-console. A couple of Minbari jokes from Laval – she'd never give up on trying to make me get Minbari humour), a request from Ranger Cole to find some obscure information for him ... and a request from Coplann to meet him at the temple later.
And still no connection to Earth.
All right, I thought, the temple it is.
...
Coplann was waiting for me near the entrance to the temple.
"Prepared something again? A shared meditation, by chance?" I asked with a grin.
"Now that you mention it, "he answered, shrugging his shoulders elegantly. "The priests are available this evening for such a ceremony. But if you'd like to postpone it..."
"No, it's fine," I grumbled, "Let's get this over with."
"That is hardly the appropriate mindset, Andrea," Coplann said with a reproachful look in my direction as we entered the temple together. It was small, and I found it rather cosy in spite of its angular, minimalistic design. But maybe it was because this place reminded me of my friend Sovann – I had spent a lot of time here with her, exploring Minbari spirituality.
I sighed.
"Sorry. You know, unlike the other rituals, I might actually need this one."
"So it would seem," he replied drily, "This way."
A priest appeared and led us to a secluded chamber. A few oil lamps and candles were casting a soft light, and the subtle scent of incense was in the air.
Coplann and I settled on the two prepared cushions and were left alone after a short invocation of Valen.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
And was acutely aware of Coplann's presence. Damn, so much for peace of mind.
Right. Breathing technique. In... out. In... out. Glade in the summer, quiet pond in the middle of it. Grass beneath me, humming insects around me. The warmth of the sun on my skin. It was so much easier to do this in the gardens... Focus on the pond. It is deep, dark, and not a ripple on the surface.
Peace.
Now what? The beginning. Why didn't I want to be in the situation I was in? I didn't want to get hurt again. The same thing that had driven me to the Rangers. I had really thought I'd escape all this love nonsense here. I'd kept the human males at a distance, and had made friends with Minbari mostly. I liked them in general, and my friends in particular. And something inside of me totally balked at the thought of getting closer to Coplann. Why? A relationship based on necessity and mutual respect, maybe even friendship. Why was I so dead-set against it?
It came down to this: I still, after everything that had happened to me in the past, wanted to love and be loved.
It was as simple as it was terrible.
I had set myself up for the biggest heartbreak of all, was doomed and in deep, deep doodoo.
I swallowed.
Maybe Coplann would find that amusing, or, and that would be really horrible, he'd pity me.
No. Go through with this, yes, tell him about this, no.
No way.
I would try to lock this up somewhere deep inside my heart.
I opened my eyes and looked around. Everything was still the same, only the shrinking of the candles and the sinking oil level in the lamps marked the passing of time.
"Andrea?"
I jumped a little and looked at the object of my contemplation.
"Was the ritual as helpful as you had hoped?" Coplann asked quietly.
I bit my lip and turned away.
"Things are a lot clearer to me now. It remains to be seen if that's a rood thing," I replied morosely.
"Whatever the revelation you had was, you do not seem very happy about it."
"No, I'm not," I said, and got up. Suddenly I found the room stifling. "Can we please leave?"
Coplann rose to his feet as well and gave me an encouraging smile.
"Of course. The gardens?"
I nodded. Yes, the gardens were my safe haven, and I needed them right now. Funny that he'd picked up on that.
"I will accompany you. As long as the situation does not change, I insist that you don't go anywhere alone. Always take someone with you."
I nodded. He made sense, as usual.
We sat down on a bench beneath a tree that resembled a weeping willow; only it had big, blue blossoms adorning its hanging branches which formed a sweet-smelling, enclosed space.
It was disturbingly romantic.
Coplann seemed deep in thought, so I left him to his ruminations and tried to enjoy the scenery.
"What is it you are so afraid of?" he suddenly asked, startling me.
I decided to pull a Minbari and not lie – but not tell the whole truth either.
"Being alone, I suppose. Living in a stronghold full of irascible, arrogant, xenophobic warriors does not exactly sound desirable to me."
"Nobody will dare to show you any disrespect," Coplann replied, sounding a little confused.
I sighed.
"Perhaps not. But only because they respect you, not me," I said, trying my best not to sound whiny.
"You will eventually win their respect and their friendship. That is only a matter of time," he tried to reassure me.
I looked at him doubtfully.
"You think?"
Coplann reached for my hand and squeezed it gently.
"Well, I am one of those irascible, arrogant, xenophobic warriors, am I not? And you've certainly won my respect. If I may call you a friend, I would be glad."
I looked away.
"But this isn't about friendship, isn't it?" I asked and bit my lip. I really hadn't meant to say that. Stupid.
Coplann shot me a quizzical look.
"Why wouldn't it be?" he asked, "Andrea, wherever we might go, don't you think that friendship would be a good place to start from?"
He was right.
I nodded, and we fell silent, watching the stars rise around us.
Holding hands.
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That's it for today! :D I hope you had fun reading it. Next time it's meet-the-parents-day! Thanks for reading, please tell me what you think!