"All the doubts that fill my head, cascading up and down again, up and down around again, down and up and down again, Oh, I've had my chances and I've taken them all,Just to end up right back here on the floor…."

-Pink 'Crystal Ball'

…

Even when she got home and graced the doorway of her empty living room with her presence, she still found herself carrying that picture. As if, if she put it down, it would disappear and the memory would go along with it, she felt like if she set it down for even the most split second it would vanish into thin air, like it never had happened, like Marshall hadn't shared that exclusive over joyous occasion with her. She grasped it so tightly her knuckles turned white; and she glanced down every now and then to make sure he still stared back at her, worried that his smile would all of a sudden cease to exist because he willed it do so.

She scanned the room for Norah, not seeing her and realizing she hadn't been greeted by her usually giggling baby girl or a whiny Squish she made her way through her house and found her down the hallway asleep in her crib, Brandi passed out ineptly across her bed, looking nearly as exhausted as the baby, her right arm wrapped around her protruding belly, her sister's mouth partially open. Nearly soundless snores escaped from the tiny expanse between her lips. Mary still had the picture in her hand.

Rolling her eyes, she left the door open a tiny crack, satisfied that Norah was napping, and relieved she would get a few quiet moments before her little sibling awoke to complain about her back or her feet, in which Mary would respond to with, "Been there done that- Have seven pairs of spanks for each day of the week to prove it…"

Mary peeled off her jacket, feeling somewhat tired herself, looking at the clock on the wall, this time tomorrow it would only be one full day before the Mann- Chaffee nuptials. Marshall's words echoed throughout the depths of her mind, she sighed; his words seemed to be the only thing on her mind these days. Little did she know, Marshall couldn't get her off of his either.

Sprawling across the couch, she took a longer look at the photograph, which only caused her more distress, looking at them you would think nothing would ever change, that he would truly always be there. He had promised one day not too long ago, he would see her daughter grow up and with a snap of Abigail's itsy bitsy fingers, that promise was long gone. There still had to be some truth to what he had said right? She could have never doubted Marshall Mann before, but now, he gave her more than every reason to… Telling her he needed space- which seemed like the end of the world, to kissing her in the parking lot of a dumpy pub, to handing her their memories in a paper bag? Where had he gone? Where had her Marshall run off to? He couldn't possibly be so caught up in these wedding arrangements that he couldn't figure out how much of a prick he was being, could he? Apparently so, but she guessed it was only fair to give him the benefit of the doubt, he did have a lot on his plate, maybe keeping Mary in his life was that extra crap he had to scoop back into the serving dish, and maybe when he was ready he'd scoop it back in again? But then again she could be the crappy potato salad that everyone steered clear of at the picnic… But if she remembered correctly, Marshall was the only one to ever "give her a try" if we were sticking to the potato salad comparison… Now he wouldn't even go near her, wouldn't even act as if the friendship had ever meant anything. What had all of those times been then? Flukes? When he was shot- fluke. His speech at her engagement party (to Raph) - brilliant acting, that rant about "messy"- no of course that meant nothing, he was just monologuing for the hell of it right?

Her heart beat quicker at the thought of having to slide on a dress in two days and then sit still for an hour to watch her former partner exchange vows with a woman she despised.

Maybe the true reason she felt this way was because he had always been there, never involved with someone other than her, all of his time and attention would unquestionably be at Mary's disposal and now that he had Abigail, what little spare time Marshall had was spent avoiding her.

Today she had been trying so hard not to think about last night, so hard not to recall his lips pressed to hers and the sweet taste of his breath, why couldn't he have been a bad kisser? Even fumbling drunk he had a talent, it's not an easy task for a man to get Mary to melt under a his embrace, but Marshall had done it, severely intoxicated no less. Which made her wonder, how was he when he was dead sober? She shook away these thoughts, knowing this would just bring her somewhere she didn't want to be, a dangerous, dark place- her heart. Yes, she was in love with him and it practically sickened her to believe such a thing- he had always been there, but she never thought of him that way, even though that's how it had always been…

She closed her eyes for a moment, just to remember the feeling of her face pressed against his and the sensations she felt as they became closer and closer with each passing second, eventually chest to chest, hip to hip… They shot open, that wasn't the greatest thing to be reminiscing to herself about when tomorrow, she would be observing that same man, forever indebting himself to a woman that wasn't her from a musty church pew. Sadly, she shook the young memory from her brain, feeling so, betrayed. Betrayed by all of this- his behavior, his sudden rejection for anything Mary. It hurt, and she wanted to blame him, but she knew he was only doing what Abigail had told him, then again, it wasn't even her fault. It was clear he had been in love with Mary first, she just didn't catch the scent, take the dorky bait- instead she ran away from the commitment, hid within her ignorance to get out of actually feeling the feelings she had for him… And look where that got her?

Who she really had to blame was herself, not Marshall, not Abigail. She had her chances, so many of them, he practically threw himself at her so many times before and all she did was ignore him and then, she would search for the nearest man to hop into bed with. She divorced someone, caused Raph to break up their engagement and then decided to screw her ex-husband when Marshall finally seemed to be getting along without her. She had to face that she had to stop needing him, her heart was broken- this must have been how he felt all of these years…

(Hope you liked it I love your reviews and your comments and your thoughts, only a few more chapters! 3 Everyone will either love or hate the outcome, most likey there won't be any people in the middle! –Hannanball13)