It was afternoon as they arrived back in their home base.

Brook had stopped shaking and freezing somewhere between dinner and his second watch in the cockpit.

Fixer had done his best to fill Brook's head with numbers and calculations, rules and regulations, but it had been too short a time, the clone in green armor had been drawn to Sev's side like a planet orbiting a moon. All of delta's members had been.

For the first time since he had been shot down the cliff Brook felt alone.

He had tried to sleep, but had shot up from his bunk bed in the middle of his assigned sleep cycle, waking up with feelings varying between vague unease and blind, heart wrenching terror. The sounds of his brother's sleeping had calmed him shortly and only the fact that Sev and Scorch had curled up in the same bunk had kept him from climbing in.

Their ride had gone rather uneventful after the original start and stop, interspersed with dead drifts. From the core they had made their way towards their mandalore, their home.

Now Brook was clutching the backrest of Vau's pilot chair, his pauldron scraping against Sev's, the scarred clone bending deep over Scorch' shoulder to catch every sight of his new home he could.

Brook rubbed his eyes, cast one look to Scorch and Sev. He bit his lip, half ashamed that his dreams wouldn't let him rest, half upset that his others were focused on

Sev.

'They have been parted' he told himself. 'They are just glad he is back.'

Only somehow, it didn't ring true, no matter how often he told himself that. In the evening light, sun deep over the horizon, colours almost tinted blue.

Brook sighed, catching the bump of the landing ship in his knees. He didn't wait for the pilots to finish the landing procedures, her squeezed past Sev and and made his way to the loading bay.

Boss was lowering the ramp, revealing half Kyrimorut already awaiting them.

Brook closed his eyes, took a deep breath of the air that flowed in. It hadn't rained the past days, the air was filled with dust, pieces of dead grass had been stirred up by the landing ship.

Kal stomped up the ramp, clasped Boss on the shoulder, patted Scorch on the back The older mando knew these clones had not much liking for physical affection and kept them short.

"Good to see you boys." Kal grinned. "Harvest is in full swing and if you boys want to eat this winter you better get ready to help, after a hearty dinner of course."

When Kal came close, the Spaarti held out a hand, but found himself caught in a bear-hug. After a moment Brook closed his arms around Kal, the man half a head shorter than he was.

Kal smelled of leather, all muscle belying the friendly smile the man constantly wore around the clones, around is sons.

"Good to be back," Brook forced out, feeling Kal pull away from him Sev had come down from the cockpit together with Vau and Fixer. Boss and Scorch closed rank around their brother, who was slowly limping towards Kal.

Sev smiled honestly, actually smiled and clapped Kal's shoulder. "Thank you." He said, "The guys took a risk, but you too, so thanks." It had been half a speech for Delta's lost brother, but Sev added more with a light nod towards Kal: "I appreciate it."

Kal nodded back, something unsaid passed between the two men. "Don't mention it." Ad with this, Sev limped towards the exit, following Boss' lead, Scorch and Fixer taking his sides, all brothers looking out for their wounded brother.

Kal nudged Brook's shoulder. "Shouldn't you take your place there?"

Brook hesitated moment, then shook his head. "I am not sure ."he replied. "I think, I will leave them alone for a moment. They need a moment without me around." Kal raised an eyebrow, only let out a "Mh", but let it go, walked over to Vau instead.

There had not been much space on the ship, and much less time to think for Brook. He watched the family file out into the house, the smell wafting out from the kitchen were delicious and his stomach growled, but Brook felt the need for something different than food.

The barn greeted him with the smell of freshly made hay, the last harvests must slowly be brought in he figured, observing the many loads of hay and buckets of grain that were stuffed into pretty much every last space of the barn. Light filtered through the cracks between the planks, particles of dust showed up in the fingers of light.

Only here Brook felt the unease slowly leave his body. It was amazing how a few days could make such a big change, they truly had been busy on Kyrimorut.

He shrugged off the heavy rucksack, pulled off his armour, feeling it easier to breathe as he lovingly laid out his kit, checking every last piece of it, running his fingers over the scratches and marks.

It seemed so long ago that he had been happy, deliriously so, to see his kit, now he was strangely relieved to be able to take it off.

Brook closed his eyes, the recoil had been the same as it had been at every shooting session. He had aimed like he had learned, all had been just as usual, it had been a perfect shot.

Brook felt cold, his chest suddenly feeling too tight. He bit his lip, curled forward, everything had been just like any moment on the shooting range, except for, the fact that he had killed.

For the first time in his life he had taken a persons life, and he didn't understand how his brothers could do it, could stand it and he? He felt weak.

They did it and then they cared for their brothers, walked, talked, laughed.

Taking a deep breath Brook pushed himself to his knees, took a few unsteady steps towards the little woodworking shop his brothers had set up. It seemed to have shrunk in the days he had been gone, the toolboxes and the table had been pushed together to make space for the harvest.

Brook leaned on the table, let both of his hands wander over the surface, taking in every nook, every groove, grounding himself in reality , taking deep breath, smelling every bit of his surroundings.

It took him a long while until he had stopped shaking, felt comfortable enough in his own skin to walk into the full kitchen. His stomach growled, half Brook wondered how it came neither Scorch nor Fixer had come to drag him out, like they usual did.

Once or twice even Boss had grabbed him by the shoulder, literally dragged him away from whatever Brook was working on. Today nobody had come. Instead the sound of laugher greeted Brook at the door.

He pushed off his boot, a hand on the wall to keep his balance, trying to push away the empty feeling inside of him. "Everything is alright." He murmured, "nothing is wrong. Get over it."

As he turned around the corner it became clear why nobody had thought of Brook.

His team had crowded in the corner, four people pressed in the space for three people on the bench. Brook wanted to leave them but his stomach cramped, he knew he had to eat, besides, Mereel turned around and waved him closer.

Every step towards the group felt heavy, truly Brook was torn between needing the warmth of family and wanting to be alone. The loud voices, the overflowing happiness was oppressing. Everything was too much.

Even as he squeezed in between Mereel and Laseema Brook felt strange, he didn't dare call it abandoned.

Scorch was glued to Sev's side, Boss to his left, Fixer next to Sev. Brook's mouth suddenly felt dry, the topatos went stale in his mouth.

Brook took a deep swig from the water, washing the mouthful down, went quiet for the rest of the meal, forcing down the portion on his plate. He excused himself meal, used the chance as Laseema stood up to rise with her.

He grabbed a couple of plates fro her hands, "I will help you." He murmured and slipped into the kitchen. He sat down the dishes, a new appreciation for the Twilek rising in him. The dishes were heavy, and kept slipping no matter how he moved.

A few steps, loud laugher from the table masked the creaking of the door, and Brook slipped into the corridor. Brook chewed on his lip, stopping in front of Delta's door.

There were only four beds, they would want to spend it together he told himself.

Again, voices and laugher rose up from the kitches, washing into the corridor. Brook recognised Boss' voice as Fixer recounted some training misshap and felt that he could no longer breathe.

With a sigh Brook turned away from the room, walked slowly to the small room that he had been shown to for his first night. Brook sighed, closed it behind him and closed his eyes, hoping for a quiet night with no dreams.

A.N.:

So, sorry for the long wait, but I can see the end of the exams (slowly!) so I should be able to slowly start working on Brook's journey again.

My thanks to all of you who review, especially these last chapters, as they have been giving me a lot of trouble and your support really helps.

Hope to hear from you soon, Windpheonix