"I'm trying to figure out what else to say, what else could I say to make you turn around and come back this way? I feel like we could be really awesome together… So make up your mind cause it's now or never…"

-Pink "It's All Your Fault"

Searching for the right words to say to him without guilting him into it, she adjusted her dress one more time and opened the door. Marshall was straightening his tie and adjusting his vest. Mary smirked; pleased at the way it fit him, the pattern accenting the fabric of the jacket of his tux. She picked that vest out. Even though pained doing it, clearly she had made the right choice.

He turned around, his eyes lighting up as she closed the door behind her, the mustiness of the back room of the church filled her nostrils as she approached him.

"Well don't you look spiffy…" she smiled, pulling his coat from his belt.

"Thanks Mare, I'm really glad you're here…." He said, somewhat taken aback by the touch of his former partner, giving him a once over for his wedding to a woman he knew she despised.

"Listen, I know this must be hard for you…" he began.

"It's not hard on me." She lied, dying a little inside, but of course, he didn't buy it.

"I don't want this to sound self-absorbed or selfish, obviously it will anyway- I need you here for me… I just need to know that you're there, that you have my back…"

"Marshall I- I really…"

"What Mare?" he asked.

"I can't lie anymore."

"About what?"

"I can't force the words you want to hear from my mouth anymore, I can't give you that false sense that everything's just okie dokie in my life without you Marshall, I can't let you say 'I do' before you know…"

"Know what?" he questioned nervously, gulping at the little saliva in his dry mouth.

At that moment, Mary was contemplating making an excuse, to stop what she was about to say from coming out of her tired, overworked, stressed out mouth, but she figured it was now or never, and he certainly couldn't marry Abigail without knowing that she was in love with him..

Yes, she loved him,

"I love you, and I know you love me too. I know you do, because you wouldn't have stuck around this long, you wouldn't have had my back like you've had for so many years now Marshall! I know you, I do, I picked out your God damn vest! Really, I can't take this, the wedding, the distance between us. I need you; I need you like I need Norah, like I needed my father… And I think you need me too." She trailed off, her bulging eyes making their way to her feet, scanning the gaudy fake jewels her shoes were encrusted with.

He stood in front of the mirror, a look of shock reflecting back at both of them.

"Mary- I- Come here." He turned around, as un- dramatically as possible, pulling her into his long arms, taking her by surprise, causing her to fumble forward. Her cheek pressed against his protruding collar bone, his scent filling her nostrils, suddenly she realized how much she really missed him. She didn't just miss him in that think about him every second way, she missed him in that I can't actually stand to see tomorrow without you kind of way.

He took a deep breath in,

"But- Mary closed her eyes, fighting back the tears, never could one word strike so much fear into her heart until now. "That's why I have to marry Abigail- he let her go, looking respectively into her red, puffy, usually beautiful, bright, lively eyes, solemn, but sure, "I think you should go, I didn't realize this would hurt you the way it seems to. The last thing I intended was to let any of this cause you heart ache… Leave. Go and grab Norah, turn off all of the lights, hold your baby girl and don't let her go, and if Brandi asks why- just tell her, 'I finally feel how Marshall has felt all of these years.'" With that, he straightened his bow tie once more and exited, leaving her alone, angry and nearly distraught. She hardly believed that she was just kicked out her best friend's wedding, even if he hadn't meant it to come across as a strongly worded goodbye, it still felt like a 'get the hell out'.

When she got into her car, she heard the wedding march begin. A tune that was supposed to be the signature of the happiest moments of everyone lives, was the most disheartening of hers. A terrible knot settled into her stomach, heavier than any other she had ever had. As she turned the key in the ignition, she couldn't believe, after so many years- she had to just go away. Leave, like none of it had ever happened.

Mary slammed the front door of her home, wiping away the running makeup from her face, ignoring Brandi's questioning gaze. She threw her sister her car keys.

"I need Norah, just go get Norah! I don't want you to even speak!" she ordered, accidentally letting a sob escape her parted lips. "NOW SQUISH!" she shouted, taking the hallway practically in one stride as her confused and very pregnant sister struggled with her bump off of the sofa and into her shoe, clearly intending on following along with whatever Mary was doing, if not just to please her sister, but to get away from hysteria that had consumed her normally collected sibling.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Mary screeched as Brand pulled out of the driveway. "WHAT DO I EVEN FUCKING DO?"

Her phone jingled the familiar tune in her hand bag. The only name that would be acceptable to see staring back at her was Marshalls, but she had no such luck when she glanced down at her black berry to find Kenny's name staring back at her,

"CHRIST ALMIGHTY LET THAT SCUMBAG LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Mary chucked her phone hard enough at the arm of her couch that the screen went dark. After cursing for what felt like hours, red in the face and for the first time in her life, truly hysterical, she tore off her dress, until she was down to nothing. She jumped into the coldest shower possible. Suddenly everything seemed a little clearer, no longer blurry from overpowering feelings of self-pity.

She rubbed at her eyes, her knees to her chin; she sat in her bath tub, letting the freezing cold water bombard her face and her body. She missed him. He was gone. So close, but so far.

She brought this on herself, she pushed him away and now he was gone. Marrying Abigail, moving on, soon he would be hopping on a plane, to go far away, escaping from her to live it up in some tropical paradise while Mary stayed home, doing exactly what he had suggested for her to do. Sitting in the dark, holding her squirming, innocent daughter, in the dark oblivion of her bedroom- ignoring the world and her throbbing heart, when she could have had it all if she would have just quit swimming in that pool of denial. But what was she supposed to do now? She had given him her ultimatum in so many words – now or never. Unfortunately, unlike she could believe, he had chosen never.

(One more chapter friends, almost done. I'm sure you'll love how it all pans out in the end. But hang in there. I apologize, I've been a tiny bit busy- but now I am confined to my home, I have no voice and the next two weeks off. Prepare yourself for a lot of fanfiction. Thanks for the kind reviews, I look forward to reading more.)