The night had been far from restful.

After tossing and turning, hours filled half. waking, half filled with dark reams Brook put both feet in front of his bed. He closed his eyes, tried to take a deep breath, but ended up gasping for air, he bit his lip. The room was empty, it smelt of dust and fresh sheets, but not of Brook's squad, not of his brothers. It was too silent, he heard his heartbeat in his ears.

Brook opened his eyes. He needed to get out.

The halls of Kyrimorut were quiet as Brook walked barefoot through them. It must still be early, he figured, strangely glad to be alone with his thoughts. Just like the evening before Brook stopped in front of Delta's door, battling with the wish to step inside and slip into the hug of the squad only...

Brook swallowed, tried to sake the dark feeling that had crept into his thoughts the past days.

The team was complete again, and he, it just didn't feel right, so brook crept onwards, not quiet certain where exactly he was going. He only felt the need to move.

Even the living room, unofficial heart, meeting point and crisis centre of the bastion lay empty.

Brook sighed as he took one of the rough wool blankets from it's pile. He curled up on one of the sofa's, once again marvelled at the plush texture, sure he would never get used to the soft textures and luxuries civilians had access to.

Once again Brook closed his eyes, concentrated on his other senses. The blanket was rough on his skin, opposite to the soft couch, the remnants of the fire smelled like smoke. It was not the squad, but it was better than his room. Somewhere in the house the wood floor creaked. Somehow Brook could fall asleep.

The next morning crept up slowly. Brook had managed to catch some more hours of sleep, but they had been far from restful.

Laseema and Besany were the first on their feet, Bes any heading for the fresher first as the brightly coloured Twilek stoked up the fire in the kitchen.

Brook shot up as she wandered through, Laseema not really recognizing him, usual it was Kal who slept n one of the chairs. It seemed that in the light of Delta's complete return one of his sons had managed to bully the older mando into his bed, or at least his room.

Now Brook was the first one who followed her into the kitchen and prepared the caf as the water began to boil. It was pleasant, the silence calming to his nerves. Delta were a close second to file into the kitchen. Brook looked up as Fixer headed straight for the caf. Scorch, as usual, found the food far more interesting. A slight pang shot through Brook's heart at the familiar was the squad worked around each other. Four clones could occupy a lot of space, but he tried to take a deep breath. It had been his decision not to spend the night he had to remind himself.

This morning Boss leaned next to Brook to the kitchen counter. Slowly sipping his cup of caf. He still prefers the brew, as he GAR saying went 'strong enough that the spoon would stand straight in it.' Only the squad leader preferred a splash of blue milk in his these days.

"Slept well?" He asked.

"Good enough." Brook answered. It was not an outright lie, but not the entire truth either. He looked away-not really sure why he didn't want his brothers to know. Shame had eaten itself deep into his bones.

"We wanted to head to the shooting range this morning. Sev needs some training with a weapon that has seen some maintenance."

"Hey, mine worked well enough." Sev barked, gruff, Brook flinched, causing Boss to raise a questioning eyebrow.

"Good enough? the only reason you hit anything with that piece of scrap was utter luck!" Scorch snapped back and now Brook realised the playful tone in his brother's voice. He had to suppress a sigh, he wondered what was wrong with him.
His only comparison to what was normal were his brothers and they didn't react like this.

"So," Boss drawled. "Are you coming?"

A sputter of caf was his answer. That had been the first time Boss had honestly asked. Totally surprised Brook just said "Yes, sure." Although, truly he would have preferred to hide away in same empty spot until he had figured his own head out.

"Good." Boss pushed himself up from the counter. "Let's head out."
they grabbed their deeces, Boss was the first out of the door.

Sev followed suit, Brook filed in next to Fixer, seeing that his usual spot at Scorch's side was occupied. It was strange, not really the same he had known, but it was still his squad

Their firing rage lay deece within the woods, in the summer sheltered from curious eyes by the leafy green from above. Soon the trees would loose their leaves, or at least Brook had been told so. actually e was curious to see it, couldn't imagine the green turning into the colours of red and yellow.

At the range, as he took the weapon off his back, stripped it of it's holster, Brook felt the tight feeling in his chest returning.
He weight the weapon in his hand. It was in no way different than it had been the last time he had stood here, there was no difference. then why did he feel different Brook was more than happy to let Scorch, Sev and Fixer go first, waved his brothers forward to take up the three targets as he checked his deece forward one more time, tried to calm his racing heart down by the known routine. Boss had taken up stance behind the three other's had a watchful eye on them and a lot to say about Sev's shooting.

Brook was glad about it, hoped he could escape the sergeant's watchful eye for the time he needed to get back on track. But then Fixer stepped back, waved Brook forward. "Go on vod." Take your turn."

Brook picked up his deece, took stance and flinched as Scorch fired next to him. He tried, truly, really tried to breath, relax and fired.

The shot went wild. He could almost feel Fixer raising an eyebrow behind him. He tried again, still missed. Scorch stopped firing, glanced over to his younger brother.

Brook truly wanted to, but his stomach seemed to have turned into a hard bolo ball.

His third shot glanced off the target, but it still was not good enough.

Now, he had Boss' attention.

"You missed that one by half a click Brook!" He barked, Brook felt cold sweat on his hands, heart racing. "Sorry Boss." answered faintly.

"Don't say sorry! Do it again, better!" Boss snapped, so even though he truly didn't want to Brook raised his deece again. He heard Boss step behind him, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, tried to breath into his stomach, just like his brothers had taught him.

He puled the trigger and heard boss swear. "What is wrong with you di'kut?" He barked. Causing Brook to close his eyes. He felt faint, lowered his deece as Boss stepped closer.

Just as he felt himself to start shaking Scorch pushed himself between him and Boss.

"Now now Boss, calm don." He placated. "It's not as if we bunker the explosives there, although, might be an idea, eh?!" But his usual joking fell flat.

"I am not calming down Scorch." Boss growled. "He needs to get this right."

Brook timidly turned around. "Sorry Boss." He started, biting his lip. "I, I don't know what's wrong." He felt cold again, just wanted to move, was tense.

"I already said Spaarti, don't say you are sorry, do it better."

But darkness crept up on Brook, he couldn't get air. He turned, faced the target again, but this time he fumbled, his fingers just not cooperating, than he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder.

"Easy vod, breath." Sev, Brook's mind supplied somehow through the fog in his brain. He felt another hand on his hands.

"Remember the training exercised?" Scorch asked behind the, "remember that guys from gamma after the first live fire? We all went through that." Scorch argued with Boss.

"And we pushed through that." Boss argued "And after Vau washed his head even that di'kut managed to shoot striaght."
Brook flinched, grasped for his deece again, suddenly afraid. Boss couldn't think of him that way!
Sev held tight.

"No vod." He said. "First you calm down."

Than Sev turned to Boss. "He only managed that because Vau send him to the infirmary first and we all feared him more than the panic itself. I do' want that for our brother."

There was a moment of silence before Boss relented with a huff. "Don't want that either." He forced out between clenched teeth. "So? Scat if you don't want to shoot. I need to concentrate on Sev's ability to hit the target."
With that, the topic had seemingly resolved itself for Boss as he turned away from Brook and shooed Sev towards his target. the other clone gave his shoulder a pat, then moved to focus the attention on him.

Brook headed towards to the path back to the house. Fixer matched his step. "You alright vod?" He asked quietly. "Don't mind Boss, he still feels Vau's breath. HE, we all have learned that if we have a problem we just push through it. HE needs to get that we are no longer there."

Brook could slowly felt again like he could breathe, although he was still shaking, still felt cold. "How come you now it?" HE asked.

Fixer smiled, a rare sight, but Brook was not able to appreciate the sight. "Well, I read a lot and our doc was more than happy to lend me all the material I wanted."

Brook wiped the cold sweat off of his palms on his trousers, nodded absent-minded.

"Fixer!" Boss yelled, bringing both of them to a halt.

"Are you alright?" Fixer asked,, already sending a look over his shoulder.

"Yea, yeah." Brook nodded, feeling the the urge to move again. "Go"
Already he pushed his hands into his pockets, balling them to fists. Why would they just not stop shaking?

A.N.:

So, *waves* here we are, since I am not quite sure if I can update tomorrow, here's the chapter a day early:)

A HUGE thank you towards everyone who reviewed, you really helped me write this chapter. (Somehow the characters did not want to cooperate., I wonder why...)