My head still ached. I woke up to a tapping at the window,it wasn't that late only about 10:30. But that thrashing Tweek gave me hurt dude, and mom interrupted my nap; I need my naps to stay even remotely positive. So I rub the sleep from my eyes careful not to irritate my already swelling eye. Off the night stand I grab an icepack I was using. I part the curtain back and I see Tweek standing in my back yard flicking cat-eye marvels from a little velvet bag.
"What the hell Dude you're gonna break my freaking window. Just how did you even get in my back yard anyways?"
He smirks at me fishing three brass lock picks from his leather jacket licking them and tossing them behind his head.
"Nngh never you mind that Stany. Just come down come down come down. The night is young".
"You really are crazy I'll be grounded for a mouth if ahh… d-dad caches me".
Tweek sucked on the tip of his finger and kinda laughed.
"That's stupid if you're already being home-schooled it won't matter if you leave your house, now come, jump".
"Fine let me grab some things".
He did have a point, but why I was sneaking out my window at 11 at night with the kid who busted my face up was beyond me.
It seemed that we walked in silence for the longest time until Tweek finally said something. He kicked at the gravel of the abandoned train tracks.
"Hey man I'm sorry. Errr I didn't mean to fuck you up. Its… I didn't like, you're answer I mean, Tweek grab at his hair like he had a bad migraine. You sounded like you like being stuck it your house that's just stupid".
I thought hard how I could explain it to him. I couldn't just say I'm a crybaby loser who couldn't handle daddy leaving, so asked mommy to pull him out of school because my so called friends didn't give two fucks.
"Ahh this is just so messed up dude, I begin shouting the warm summer breeze blowing through my face. You remember 4th grade when I went through that depression and the guys said if I don't cheer up then that's it. Tweek nods. I sigh and wring my hat in my hands letting the warm breeze ruffle my hair.
"Man it's okay you don't have to tell me if you don't want to".
I shake my head and look at him. "No it's cool I wanna get this off my chest. They left me they did it. Dad left, and I was at my lowest, well screw them who needs em".
"Jesus that sucks". Then why the home school?"
Shit he's going to think I'm suck a loser.
"I couldn't take it; there I said okay. I couldn't face them".
"Cheer up",Tweek slaps my back. Look were here".
"Were where?"
I was talking to him so much I didn't realize we were standing in the parking lot of Walmart. Yeah I know Walmart, South Park eventually caved to the pressure and a few bribes here and there helped to; corporate fat cats. He grabs my hand dashing for those automatic doors. I stumble over my feet just to keep with him. I grip on to his shoulder and I feel butterflies in my stomach when Tweek brushes his fingers over my cheek; shiny black nail polish gleaning in the street lights of the parking lot.
"Jeez Stan you gotta loosen up man. Can't blame all your problems on life; it's too short".
"But"
"Pff if this is about your so called friend's man, friends are fickle as fuck you can't expect to be around the same group of dudes your whole life. Live like that and who knows your true bro might walk right by and you wouldn't even know. No more being scared and paranoid for this guy, fuck that noise", he points to his chest and punches me in the arm.
Those words have stuck to me to this very day. Living your life sheltered and scared just because it too much of a hassle to make new friends, just wanting to be near Kyle not even considering there could be anyone else. I don't know why maybe it was out of boredom or lack of energy, but here I was getting close to Tweek and it just felt great; I haven't felt this happy and full of life in a long time. This is exactly what I needed, a distraction. I don't know why I never noticed Tweek before.
This was the summer were everything would change for me, my whole outlook on life turned on its head, and like it or not I would welcome it. I wanted to ask him some fallow up question since I told Tweek a little about me I thought he should do the same. Like were he'd been all this time. I didn't know, no one knew . He just sort of disappeared one day sold his house and was gone. He didn't even give a reason why. He was a mystery like a mysterious wind that blew through town changing the lives of everyone it touched, at least he change my life. Or at least he would.
We went down aisle after aisle Tweek Shifting his eye down each elongated strip of cheap linoleum and fluorescent lights. That's when I saw them. I froze wanting to make a mad dash down the long narrow corridor. But then out of the blue I felt a hand grab at me, turning me around. That voice made me shudder, it was like nausea crawling up my spine.
"Hey how are you"
Kyle and Cartman. They were shopping for Snacks no doubt for another night of fun. Ever since I left our little group Cartman and Kyle have been inseparable like their best Bros or something. I know all the crap fat ass gave Kyle was just petty jealousy. I was always in the way, at least now Cartman had the chance to get close to Kyle without my drama screwing everything up.
I wish I could go with them. No remember what Tweek said be strong be strong Stan.
"Who's your new friend"?
"Come on Kyle I got the cheesy poofs let's go".
"Just a sec fat ass".
Cartman huffs and crosses his arms; I can tell he doesn't want to deal with me.
In a flash the towering blonde behind me reached over my head and slinked his hand down my shirt.
"Tweek. Stop... What are you doing?"
"Me and Stan here are gonna have a bunch of sex. Which way to the condoms?"
"Kyle no he's joking".
My face must have gone at least three shades of red, I pulled Tweek's arm out of my white t shirt and glare at him. He didn't seem to feel sympathy for me or give the slightest of fucks.
"Come on let's leave Stan and his freak friend and go", Cartman said as he drags Kyle off. My super best friend gave me an awkward grin as he waved goodbye.
I was going to kill Tweek.
"What the hell was that dude", I said as we walk off. Tweek shrugs his shoulders and grunts.
"They were giving you a hard time, and at least now they'll leave you alone".
" Ahh you're impossible you didn't have to tell them we're having sex I'm not even 15 yet".
Just as I was going to pull a Cartman and kick this asshole in the nuts he slinks off around the corner. Out of the edge of my eye I see him swerve into the hunting aisle.
"Stan over here"
He calls to me with that characteristic twitch in his eye. Tweek wriggled a hunting knife weaving in and out through the gaps between his fingers. Twitchiness and knives don't go together why those things weren't locked up behind glass was beyond me; I guess safety doesn't apply in hick mountain towns.
"Give me a hand man".
He shifts his sight from side to side up and down making sure the coast was clear before slipping the weapon along with several others into the many secret compartments of the inner lining of his raggedy leather jacket.
"Tweek What are you doing you can't steal that stuff what if someone sees".
He lifts up my shirt and slips the blade under my waistband. Again I feel those pesky Insects Swarm around in the pit of my stomach when long gangly arms brushes against my stomach.
"Let's go, he tells me roughly pulling my shirt down. Don't look so worried every Walmart has the same basic layout we won't get caught, and if I'm going down you're going down with me".
"Oh and these "he plucks a pack of slim jims off a nearby sheaf; I guess red necks like the dehydrated meat and hunting supplies in one place.
I tell you I must have been sweating pinballs as we walk past the greeter. My heart was beating faster than Tweek's when he was jacked up on coffee and who knows what else.
"We did it holy shit dude, that was a great I never felt more alive; what a rush!"
The adrenaline was pumping through my veins, I've never stolen anything before. I was grabbing my knees hunched over gasping for breath; it felt like I just ran a marathon.
"Calm down poof ball", Tweek pats my back perfectly calm apart from a casual tremor that racks up his body every now and then.
"Why'd you steal that stuff anyways", I comment.
"Oh you'll see, this way".
We go around back past the rusted train tracks and over a chain link fence practically falling apart. I didn't even know this place was here, and hidden behind a Walmart no doubt. We were surrounded by concrete walls paved over with graffiti, it looked like this place was under an overpass. I could hear the hiss of engines and the squeak of rubber tires penetrate through the concrete ceiling above us.
"Dude where are we this place looks shady as fuck we should go".
"Don't pussy out on me man we're almost there".
Tweek pays attention to the road beside us making sure no one sees what he was about to do. He drags the soul of his steel riveted boot across an area of loose soil and dry leaves exposing some dry planks of rotting wood. It looked like this makeshift trapdoor had been here for ages from the spongy green moss that clung to its surface.
Tweek Pulled up his sleeves fingers hooked under a knot of rusted iron. He flipped the plank over, when it came crashing to the dusty ground it sent plumes of billowing dust and dried leaves all around us. I was about to hack out a lung shielding my mouth and nose, this was going to make my already bad asthma worse.
I could see him descend down into the deep dark passageway, hear his voice calling for me. It was deep it seemed endless. The only way down was a rickety wooden ladder.
Why was he taking me into a hole in the ground?
This place was huge it had rooms carved of the soil and bedrock supported two by fours. It had a storage area and what looked like a kitchen. In the corner there was a pretty wrecked to hell circular table with a shit ton of weed and those wrapper things you use to roll up joints. On one of the walls there was dart board with a whole bunch of sharp crap stuck to it. Various knives, ninja stars,long needles. The only light source in the whole place was from a couple of candles that lay scattered about the room, some on the table and the rest were nestled in dug out holes in the walls; candle-holders I guess.
"Tweek hello where are you".
Meet friend number two Christophe aka the mole. He was paranoid one might say, a chain smoker psychopath, but as this tale unfolds he would become one of my best friends. I think Tweek once told me he had Dissociative identity disorder or something, he would get violent at a drop of a hat; the slightest thing would set him off. Speaking of setting off the moment I called out Tweek's name he had me pined up against the wall crushing my windpipe against his forearm.
"Get the fuck off of him. Jesus Christophe".
"What are doing Tweeky you can't bring zees person into moi's lair how can we trust zee's one he will touch everything with he's filthy little hands, now our whole operation has been compromised".
"Your lair, your lair".
"Yes Mon Ami I am the one who dug it out no".
"It as much mine as it is yours. I'm the one who planned it. I'm the one who snuck the wires from that crappy Walmart across the street so we could have cable. I'm the one who got the generator. And I'm the one working on getting us electric lights. So don't give me this crap Chris". Besides I told you about him yesterday. Now take your god damn knife", Tweek reached into his jacket pulling out the knife ,he twirls it in the air like a baton catching it blade down between his index fingers and flinging it across the room to Christophe.
I have to admit the french guy maybe a psycho but he's kickass. He doesn't even flinch he just parts is two fingers and catches the thing just like Tweek.
"Wait this one seems familiar no", he said walking over to me. I'm still rubbing my throat fuck that hurt. Yes you are zee one they call Marsh no. Where is the green hatted one, you two were joined at the hip".
"Cut it Chris Stan doesn't hang out with him anymore".
"Wait I'm confused you guys, how do you know each other. Didn't you just move here Tweek?"
"Don't you dare Tweeky how does one know we can trust zees one".
"Would you stop, you're acting more paranoid than me".
Christophe walks over to me, he ghosts the knife over my throat.
"I suppose I could trust you. Yes you could be of use to us you seem quite strong. Very well then. Tweeky bring him here tomorrow four o clock on thee dot,after our studies of course. Our adventure will begin then".
"Slim Jim man, Tweek gestures to me.
"No thanks dude I think I should get going it's getting late", Tweek looks at me and takes a bite of his dehydrated piece of meat.
"Stan we talked about this life is too short. Cut loose man. Ah I know just the thing".
Tweek tells me to sit down while he rummages around in a small cupboard. He has his head deep in the small space, his butt wiggling around in the air. I look over to Christophe who's sitting at that old table, cigarette in mouth. He's flinging those knives Tweek gave him at that checkered dartboard glaring at me. He still doesn't trust me. But he would, we would get close and even form a tight bond in time.
When Tweek was done searching for whatever he was searching for he strides across the room to the crappy floral couch I was sitting on. I don't know how they got furniture in this place It look like they raided a thrift store; whoever was in charge of the decor had a pretty crappy sense of fashion.
I guess you could say my new friend was grinning. He wrapped his long arm around my shoulders and gave me something.
"Is this what I think it is?"
"Yup, right here's a bowl".
I didn't know if I should be smoking this thing. Sure I smoked in 4th grade but it was only once and it made me puke right after. But there was just something about Tweek his confidence, I felt safe around him. He was like the big brother I never had, one who had my back unlike Shelley.
"Yeah man I'll show you".
He goes over to the table where Christophe was sitting and snatches a baggie of weed. "I'll take that thank you very much", Chris just glares at him but he doesn't say anything I suppose he was used to Tweek's odd personality.
Tweek takes the bowl and stuff it in my face, he quickly takes a set of matches out of his camouflage sweats and strikes one on the hard bedrock were the coach was leaned up against. The flickering flame at the end of that wooden stick lights up the packed weed.
"I'll show you how. Just suck it in easy and slow.
should I be doing this I have pretty bad asthma, no got play it cool. Not this cough again.
"Hahaha you're such a dork Stan; like this".
I guess he's gonna show me the right way to do it. He takes the bowl from me and inhales a deep breath blowing the smoke above his head.
"There like that man".
Before we knew it, we were holding our guts laughing over the stupidest thing. I think we were watching something on that crappy analog TV that was in this place; the pictures was already fuzzy and we were stoned out of our minds.
"You know what", Tweek said.
"What dude".
"Jesus has the ultimate super power. You're like 70% water one touch and your done son instant alcohol poisoning".
"Dude that's so random why you say that".
"Isn't that Jesus on the TV"?
"No I think it's the walking dead".
"Jesus walking dead same thing man. Zombie Jesus, Jesus was basically a zombie".
"Okay". You're so high right now"
It was really late now I was making my way up the latter to go home when I heard his voice.
"Man what kind of friend would I be if I didn't walk you home", Tweek said.
We were standing in front of my house and I couldn't help myself I hugged Tweek;l I know it was a little gay.
"Thanks dude I haven't had this much fun in a while, thanks for the great night". He looks at me, I thought he would be weirded out, but he wasn't. He just rubs the back of his head and smiles at me.
"You still have that knife".
"Yeah I think; here".
Tweek reaches into his coat and pulls out a marching one. "Let's trade. There now you have mine and I have yours, whenever you feel down just look at that knife and know I got your back"
Just as quickly as he came Tweek turns around and carelessly waves goodbye, "Tomorrow man".