The sounds of chirping made me slowly open my violet eyes. Both of my eyes blinked a couple of times, having to adjust to the sudden bright light. I slowly sat up, groaning and holding my aching head, which felt like a band of drummers banging on their instruments in it. I felt stirring and groaning coming from my lap, so I shot my eyes open and looked down quickly to see Ryuichi sleeping peacefully. Not only that, but we were both naked. I could feel my whole face burn up as I gazed at Ryuichi's sleeping form. He was so beautiful as he slept soundly. His mouth was slightly gaped. His lips moved up and down slowly with his chest as he breathed in silence. His milky white skin even glowed against the morning sunlight. My heart started racing as my fingers grazed through his soft, silky brunette hair and gazed at his lips. My tongue ran across my bottom lip, then my top lip, covering them with saliva. I slowly leaned towards Ryuichi's lips, closing my eyes as I got closer to his face. I gulped down the knot in my throat as our lips finally met. I could feel Ryuichi's face scrunch up, before him kissing me back, smiling. He pushed me backwards gently. I embraced his back lovingly, not wanting to part, but he slowly pulled away from my lips. I kept my eyes closed, my lips still gaped open from when his tongue had slipped into my mouth. My face still burned as I slowly opened my eyes again, blinking and staring into Ryuichi's beautiful, ocean blue orbs.
"Good morning, Shu-chan." He greeted me, which made my heart palpitate.
Even in the morning, Ryuichi's voice still sounded charming and seductive.
"M-morning Ryuichi-san…" I greeted him back nervously and embarrassed as I remembered what happened between the two of us last night. The memory was flashing through my head.
Why did this happen? I cheated on Yuki with my idol. What am I going to say to him when I get back to his house?
All of these thoughts ran through my mind. My body started trembling when I thought of returning back to Yuki.
"Shuichi-kun, what's the matter? Your body is trembling." I heard Ryuichi ask me, which snapped me from my thoughts.
I blinked a couple of times, before looking up at him, mumbling a "huh?" before smiling nervously and shaking my head.
"N-nothing…" I lied to him, averting my eyes away from his and looking at the wall beside me.
I can't tell him.
"You're thinking about Yuki, aren't you? Him and his beatings….." Ryuichi said, making me lift my head back up and look at him shocked. It was liked he read my mind.
I nodded my head only slightly, looking away from him again.
"I know he means well. He's just been very stressed lately with his novel and taking care of me. I must've been a nuisance to him. I know I was." I told him quietly, still avoiding his gaze.
"There's no excuse for spouse abuse Shuichi-san." He told me seriously.
I nodded my head again.
"I know, but I still love my Yuki and I want to be there for him, no matter what." I told him, making Ryuichi let out a heavy sigh.
"You know if you were with me, I would never lay a threatening hand on you. I would touch you gently and lovingly like something precious and fragile." He says, combing through my pink locks.
I closed my eyes to his warm touch, bringing my hand up to his and entwining my fingers with his.
"Ryuichi-san….." I whispered softly. I could feel his hot breath in my face.
"It's because I love Shu-chan, very, very much." He whispered to my face, causing me to shoot open my eyes, but to only see the sincerity in Ryuichi's blue eyes and a gentle smile on his lips.
"Ryuichi-san….I…."
He shook his head, before I could finish my sentence.
What was I going to say, anyways? That I feel the same? Do I? Can you love two people at once? Is that possible? The real question is can I betray Yuki like that? Especially when he needs me the most? Last night I had sex with Ryuichi. I damn well know what was happening, even if I was plastered. Could I be developing feelings for Ryuichi too or was I just using him for comforting and for my sexual needs, since Yuki and I have not been having sex for a few months?
"Don't say anything. I don't want to confuse you. I'll let you sort out your feelings. I know you love Eiri-san deeply and that can't simply go away, but I do know he's been neglecting you and you don't deserve that. Just remember, my feelings for you will never change and I will always be there for you."
"Oh…Ryuichi…." I whispered softly again at a loss for words.
Ryuichi does care for me.
I grabbed his face with both of my hands, caressing his cheeks, before softly planting a kiss on his lips.
"Thank you…." Was all I could say, but I felt him rub up against me, making me blush more, gasp and moan.
"A-ah…Ryuichi-san, p-please get off me..." I begged.
I had forgotten we were both still naked.
Ryuichi looked at me confused, before smirking and grinding his hips into me, making me moan out his name. He soon stopped and got off me, standing on the floor. He continued to smirk down at me, licking his lips. I panted slightly, my face flushed as I stared up at him.
"Teasing….bastard…." I huffed.
"I only make love to my lover." He whispered in my ear seductively, before licking the inside of it.
"A-ah, Ryuichi-san…." I gasped and moaned, rubbing my member with my hands to relieve the aching.
"You better hurry up, before you're late for band practice." He whispered seductively in my ear again, before nibbling on the lobe.
"Y-you bastard…" I moaned again.
I pushed him back and quickly stood up.
"Stop teasing me!" I yelled at him, before grabbing my clothes from the pile heap and running to the bathroom, slamming it shut. I turned on the shower and stepped into it the tub, letting the warm water hit my skin and relax my body. I started to stroke myself quickly and roughly, trying yo relieve the pain and throbbing. I panted, out of breath and face still flushed as I came, screaming Ryuichi's name. I dropped my hands to the side and leaned my forehead against the tile wall of the tub. My hair stuck to my face.
What am I going to do? I'm falling for my idol and slowly betraying Yuki the second my feelings grow stronger.
I let out a sigh and washed my hair and my body, before turning off the faucet. I stepped out of the tub and dried myself off, before dressing in the same clothes from yesterday. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My attention focused on the bruise on my cheek, the pain still lingering. I touched it gently as I stared at it sadly.
"Yuki…..Why?" I whispered, before turning my back to the mirror and walking out of the bathroom, fully dressed. I walked back to the living room to see Ryuichi dressed and ready to leave. I smiled softly and blushed at him, before looking away the moment he noticed me. I pretended to ignore him and grabbed my keys and walked towards the door.
"You can let yourself out. The spare key is under the mat."
"Remember Shuichi, I will always love you."
I kept my back to him, clutching my chest, before opening the door and closing it behind me. I leaned on the doorframe, still holding my chest and stared at the bright morning sky.
"Ryuichi….." I mumbled, before distancing myself from my house, heading towards band practice.
Shuichi grabbed the microphone with his dominant hand taking it out of the stand, while holding the stand with the other hand. He smirked outside of the sound booth at Mr. Sakano and Mr. K. Hiro and Fujisaki started beginning the song "Blind Game Again".
"Blind Game again kanari kireteru Doll itsuma demo kawaranai yoru o buchikowase." Shuichi began to sing. He lifts his hand in front of his face like he was going to grab something, before lifting it up in the air, like he was trying to grasp the sky. He moved and danced around as he continued to sing the song. He swayed his hips to the right as he tapped his right foot to the beat of the music. He smirked sexily at his audience. He ended the song with the hand holding the microphone in the air and his head held down.
"That was great Shuichi! Now on to the next song, "Spicy Marmalade"." Said Mr. K.
Shuichi pumped his hands in the air, while screaming "Alright!"
Practice went on like that for hours, until break time at noon.
Shuichi exits the sound booth and stretches out his arms and legs.
"Well somebody is enthusiastic today. Could things have gone well with Mr. Yuki last night? Like say being very intimate?" Hiro asks, smacking Shuichi on his back.
Shuichi grins, but scoffs at his best friend.
"Not with Yuki." He says simply.
"Oh? Is there someone else?" Hiro asked, leaning on Shuichi's shoulder.
"Perhaps…." Shuichi says, closing his eyes and drinking a bottle of water.
"Mind telling me who o buddy?"
Shuichi looked around, before whispering in his ear, "Ryuichi Sakuma", making Hiro's eyes widen.
"Are you serious?" He asks.
Shuichi places the water bottle down on the table and nods his head up and down.
"What happened with Yuki-san?" Hiro asked him, making Shuichi pout his lips and frown at him.
"What happened with Ryuichi was an accident. We were drinking last night and got really drunk. We ended up having sex."
"Were you really drunk?"
"Kind of? I mean, I knew what was going on, but I didn't stop it. Does that make me a bad person?" Shuichi asks Hiro, sadness in his eyes.
Hiro sighs and grabs his friend's hand and leads him out of the studio.
"W-where are you taking me, Hiro?" Shuichi asks as he was being dragged to a ramen stand nearby.
Hiro sits on the stool, after Shuichi and orders two bowls of ramen.
"How do you feel about the both of them?" He asks.
"Shuichi stares down at the counter as he fidgeted with his fingers.
"I love Yuki and a lot. He was first love and my first time. He meant everything to me, even if it took him a long time to reciprocate my feelings, but…" Shuichi paused as he started tracing shapes with his finger on the counter.
"But what?" Hiro asks, wanting his friend to continue.
"For a while now, Yuki has been stressed out, so he neglects me and….." Shuichi hesitates as he bites down on his bottom lip. "Beats me", he continues his previous sentence.
"What?!" Hiro asks angrily, standing up and pushing the stool on its back.
Shuichi tries to hush him by motioning him to sit back down. Hiro looks around, before sitting back down quietly, trying not to cause anymore commotion.
"He's been beating you?!"
Shuichi nodded his head.
"Yes and ever since then, Ryuichi has been comforting me. I have been enjoying his company and grateful that I have him in my life. He treats me like I'm someone special. He touches me with love and gentleness. His eyes show me such sincerity as he whispers sweet words in my ear. Ryuichi is everyone's ideal lover." Shuichi blushes as he confesses.
"Do you love him?" Hiro asks.
Shuichi stared at his bowl of ramen as it was delivered by the waiter.
"I don't know. I have worshipped Ryuichi like he was my god, but ever since I realized he was our competition, my feelings changed from admiration to something stronger, but I don't know what it is. Is it love or am I confusing it with lust because Yuki refuses to touch me?" He asks, staring at the bowl sadly.
"Only you can decipher those feelings, Shuichi. How do you feel after realizing you had sex with Ryuichi-san? Satisfied?"
Shuichi shook his head.
"It wasn't that. I felt flustered and embarrassed. My heart couldn't stop racing as I stared at his beautiful sleeping and naked form. I thought he was more exquisite than usual. I wasn't only flustered though, but I felt ecstatic and hopelessly floating on cloud nine. I couldn't believe I gave myself to someone I admired religiously. I thoughts if it was a dream, I don't want to wake up from it. Could I be in love with Ryuichi?" He looks up at his friend, confused and hurt.
"Sounds like you are to me." He says, breaking apart the chopsticks and digging into his ramen.
"But can I really hurt Yuki, especially now when he needs me the most?"
"To me it sounds like you're avoiding your feelings for Ryuichi, so you wouldn't hurt Mr. Yuki, but someone is going to get hurt. If it's Yuki then he'll get over it easily. You just gotta choose wisely. Stay with Yuki and be abused for god knows how long or break up with him for someone who seems to have caught your heart and treats you better." Hiro says slurping his ramen.
"It sounds like an obvious answer to me." He mumbles in between bites.
Shuichi stares at his bowl of ramen again, still sad.
"You're right. I'll go talk to Yuki later today, after practice." He says digging into his bowl.