I'm backkkk! Safe and sound at home. Just in time to head back to school tomorrow! Kinda... I have a retreat thingy before school offically starts again. Thank you all for the well wishes, and I really did enjoy the time spent with family. It was nice, but now I'm craving the independence and schedule of school. Did you all enjoy your holidays? :D
This chapter is a continuation of Elsa's panic attack last chapter. Warning: lots of Jelsa feels. Lotsss. You will get to see where Elsa is with this whole 'relationship' thing, and just life in general. So does Jack :D
Disclaimer: Now that I am back home and have all the supplies, planning has been happening. Soon, the take over will begin! but until then... still don't own anything...
A little over a week had passed since the 'Hans Fiasco,' as Elsa had dubbed it. Elsa found herself all cuddled up in a large blanket on Jack's bed, reading her history textbook on this Saturday morning. Jack had gotten bored and needed a break, leaving to walk to the Starbucks a block away. Toothless, Hiccup's black cat, had found its way into the room and was cuddling with Elsa as she studied. He had taken a liking to Elsa, and whenever she was at the guys' apartment, which was becoming more and more often, he usually came to Elsa to play or to be pet.
Jack burst through the door, his cheeks rosy and eyes bright, carrying two steaming cups.
"Well hello, dear. Enjoy your walk?" Elsa asked, giggling slightly at his joyful expression.
He crossed the room, handing her one of the cups that spelt deliciously of her favorite chai tea. He set the other down and took off his coat. "I did! I missed you though," he said, as he crawled onto the bed and cuddling up to Elsa. Toothless was disrupted and ran off.
Elsa pushed him off her, her blue eyes sparkling with mirth.
"Come on Princess, I bought you chai and everything! The least you could do is give me a little affection." His eyes met hers, and she could see the teasing gleam in his eyes that she had come to love.
Not realizing what she was doing, she leaned over, cupped his left cheek with her hand, and placed a kiss on his other cheek.
Jack was frozen with shock, his eyes wide. Then he moved into motion, grabbing his wallet and phone off the side table and was going for his coat. "I'm gonna go get you another Chai then if this is the reaction!" He said, grinning at her.
Elsa reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him from grabbing his coat. "I think just one cup of caffeine is enough for me, unless you plan on keeping me up all night."
Jack's eyes danced down at her, "Trust me, love. That can be arranged."
She released his wrist and smacked him. "I don't need another one, Frost. Now, put your stuff down and study. And drink your coffee before it gets cold."
He plopped back down on the bed, tossing his stuff on the table. He turned on his stomach, propping his head on his hands, and stared at Elsa.
She looked at him funny, uncomfortable under his gaze. "Can I help you?" she asked, but no prevail. He kept staring. "Stop it!" Still staring. "Jack, come on!"
"I'm studying you!"
Elsa sighed and rolled her eyes. Typical Jack. She shoved him over, "Just do your homework!"
Jack laughed and sat next to her, pulling his books into his lap. They sat in silence for about an hour, studying together, with Pandora quietly playing on Elsa's phone. This is how they spent every Saturday morning. Elsa loved how she could be with Jack, and just sit quietly for a time. It never felt awkward to her, and she never felt the need to fill the silence.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Later that night, after a day of studying, dancing, and spending time with him, Elsa found herself back on Jack's bed staring off into space with an open book in front of her. As much as she tried to, she couldn't suppress her fears.
She was scared she couldn't support Anna, and help fill the void their parents left. She was scared that she couldn't let people in, let her friends in and see who she really was. She was scared that she wouldn't accomplish her dreams, her goals. She was scared for the dance crew's upcoming competitions. She was scared that she wasn't a good enough dancer, that she wouldn't be able to convey emotion well enough. She was scared to start a relationship with Jack and was terrified that she was falling fast and hard. Elsa was scared of the world. Everything seemed to be pressing down on her all at once.
Elsa started to retreat into her mind, trying to slam the door of the fears shut. Conceal, don't feel. Don't feel. I'm okay, I'm safe.
She took a deep breath and then looked up from her "studying" and made eye contact with Jack. His concerned deep blue eyes met her turquoise ones.
Shit.
"Elsa, are you okay? Studying overwhelming you?" She could hear the concern in his voice.
She looked down, not able to make eye contact with him. She wanted to break down, to fall into his arms, to tell him everything. Everything was bubbling over. But I can't.
"I'm fine, it just scared me for a minute," she finally replied, still avoiding his eye as he tried to seek hers out.
His hand met her chin, turning her face to look at him. Her eyes met his, and then darted away. "I don't think you're fine. What's going on, love. You look terrified. I didn't realize the history of dance was so scary."
Conceal, don't feel.
"Come on, Elsa. Tell me what's up."
Conceal, don't…
"Darling, I can't help you if you don't tell me." He scooted closer to her, his arms encircling her shaking frame.
Conceal…
"Elsa, you can trust me." His fingers traced her arms.
Don't…
She broke. Her fears came tumbling out in an overwhelming amount of emotion. She didn't say a word, but turned into Jack's neck and began to cry heart-wrenching sobs. His hand immediately came to caress the back of her hair, his other arm holding her closer.
"Oh honey, it's going to be okay. Just let it out. Let it go."
Let it go.
She tried to choke out an explanation, tried to tell Jack how she was feeling, but all that came out was his name. "Jack…"
"I'm right here, Princess. I'll always be right here."
Elsa shook her head, denying it.
"What? Why are you shaking your head 'No?'" he looked down at her.
The words tumbled out in between sobs. "No, no you can't. You will leave. Everyone always leaves. I have to be strong. I have to do this by myself. I always have. You're going to leave me. I'm so broken, Jack. I'm so afraid."
"What makes you think I'm going to leave you?" he asked, tilting her face to meet his. Her eyes, still streaming tears, had turned an intense turquoise, reminding him of the clear oceans of Hawaii.
"Everyone does. I'm always alone." She tried to break his gaze, but his hand on her chin held her.
"As long as I live, as long as we are together, you will never be alone. You can lean on me. Hell, you can collapse on me, beat me, fall on me, cry all over me, and I will always still be here for you."
She tried to close inward, another sob wrenching her body. "How can you say that? You don't know what will happen. I break everything, especially every guy I touch."
"Elsa, I know what it feels like to be alone. Think of all those years I lived at the orphanage. Just a face among many. I couldn't burden Miss Poppins or little Kat with my issues with the gang or my loneliness. I just existed and got through each day. I needed someone there for me. My greatest fear was, and still is, to be alone; to never be noticed for who I really am. I'm not promising perfection, but let me try. Let me be there to catch you. I promise to be here for you as long as you want me around."
Her sobs had subsided, but tears still streamed down her face. "Jack, I'm going to hurt you. My first instinct is to shut people out."
"And you don't think I don't know that? Elsa, I know you. I see you. I know who you truly are and believe in you. Let me support you. It's okay if I get hurt. It's worth every moment of the pain just to be near you and have a part in your life. Shit happens, the world sucks. But if you never try, if you don't depend on people, you're going to miss out on something that has the possibility of being beautiful."
"How can I? How can I help you if I wear you down with all my issues and insecurities?"
"Because I know you will be there to help me through mine. You already have been. Even just seeing you smile every day makes my worries vanish. I'll lean on you, but I want you to lean on me too."
Elsa studied her hands in her lap for a moment, processing it.
She looked up and met his eyes, bit her bottom lip, and nodded.
Jack sighed in relief and tightened his hold around her, bringing her closer. He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, lingering on her soft skin, the back of his hand cradling her head. He felt the intake of her breath at the contact. Jack leaned back and set their foreheads together, staring into her eyes.
"You're beautiful when you cry," Jack said steadily.
Elsa snorted in disbelief, slightly laughing. "You're full of crap, Frost."
He pulled back, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. "I wasn't joking around, Princess. I mean it. Your eyes are this amazing color. It's so stunning and deep. I feel like I can really see into your soul. Plus, I always think you're beautiful."
Elsa looked down, breaking his steady gaze. "I hate crying in front of people."
"Yeah, because you hate showing emotion in front of people. Well, stop it. I want you to show me how you feel. Always."
Elsa exhaled, shaking her head slightly at Jack. She leaned back forward, her hand reaching and entangling itself in the back of Jack's hair and pulling him toward her until their foreheads connected again.
Her eyes fluttered closed, overwhelmed at what Jack was doing for her. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me for something I would love to do every day, for the rest of my life."
She smiled, afraid to look into Jack's eyes, knowing she wasn't ready for what she would see there.
Jack noticed her hesitation. I've pushed her to her emotional limit today.
"Alright Princess, wanna know what I think?"
Elsa rolled her eyes at him, "What makes you think I wanna know your thoughts, Frost."
"Oooo, sassy Elsa is back. We are good." He grinned down at her. "Come on, we are going back to the dance studio. I have a song we need to dance to."
Elsa stared into his eyes and nodded, smiling.
ANNNDDD you will have to wait until next week to see the song. I wonder if anyone can guess it! If someone can, I'll you a shoutout and write a oneshot for you of your favorite couple from this story, that you get to inspire (as in, you can give me a prompt if you would like)! READY, SET, GO! It's going to be super cute and mayyyy or may not be part of the dance crew's competitions... :D
Review time:
GoudelPrincess: I know, no more Hans x Anna... Oh well ;) I'm excited for Kristoff and Anna to get together. I'm still not sure if Anna is gonna jump headfirst into Kristoff's arms, or if they are going to wait it out a bit longer... hmm... :D And I think secretly all the guys take lessons from Jack and Flynn ;D
Randomperson: Happy New Year to you too! I hope you enjoyed it :D Good, I'm so glad that came across and that you are liking it. I'm trying super hard to stay true to the characters, but it's pretty hard because they are in a completely different environment than their movies. I'm glad that you like it though :D It means a lot. Anyways, Siren, out!
FangirlAlertWatchOut: no more cliffies for now... I like them though, so they will be back. :D sorry #sorrynotsorry ;) Thanks for reviewing!
Iheartjelsaandunicorns: Will Jack break through Elsa's fears and win her heart? Or will she shut him out? And will they finally kiss? Find out (eventually) on Released! :D Your review made me laugh, by the way. Thank you :D
OoPoPcAnDy: I know, right?! GoshdangitElsa. Just jump him already like the rest of us want to.
VioletIceHeart: I'm so glad you are enjoying it! And dont worry, it's paining me not to have them kiss yet... If I was Elsa, I would have jumped him already... :D I'm sorry, this chapter probably made the anticipation worse... BUT when they do finally kiss, it will be the most amazing thing every because of all the anticipation :D And thank you for being patient and thinking my story is amazing! P.S. no, they do not. The idea is that they are just regular, but super talented, humans in college.
musicloverkp: Thank you! So glad you are enjoying it.
Geminiiagate: Thank you very much!
disneyobsessionist: LOL! I love all your reviews in succession. It was awesome to watch you read through the story and get your comments right after the other. I'm so glad you are enjoying the story and that it stuck out to you! Hope you enjoyed this chapter :D
Dolphin24: Thank you! I tried to stick with it. And I tried to update as soon as I can. I always get impatient with the stories I follow, so I get it completely! Good to know it's worth the wait, though :D
Marielle: Wow! I'm so glad you are enjoying it! I love binge-reading fanfics, and it's good to know that mine is one you can do that with. And yes, that was correct ;D Happy New year!
MunkieJunkie: Thank you! I am still debating if I'm going to have her wait a bit, or jump into Kristoff's arms like in the movie... since they didn't have the chance to get as close before the Hans fiasco, I think I'm gonna have their relationship bud a bit more. What do you think? And I did have a good time with my family! I'm excited to go back to school, though. Have a good week :D
Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. Also, we broke 100! This is so amazing. I love getting your reviews and I love knowing that you guys are enjoying it! Remember to review and tell me what song you think Jack has in mind. I love you all!
xoxoxoxo,
Siren