xvi.
Rikki wasn't sure how they'd reached this point. Lewis was the last person she wanted involved with her crisis, but as Cleo pointed out she needed someone with a grasp on biology to give her advice. Cleo certainly wasn't qualified, and although Rikki used the library to study up on every sort of human pregnancy, and even some dolphin and other water dwelling births as well, she wasn't a great reader and the hours spent pouring over books was starting to get to her. She had to bring Lewis into it.
It was a little cute how his eyes bugged out and it took a few tries to snap him back into the present. Cute, but annoying. Rikki wanted help, not another freak out to work through. It was already getting difficult to hide the small bump under her usually fitted tops and had to readjust her sense of style accordingly. Every morning when she woke up and felt the growing bump, she worried about the next stage, the next freak out, the next time she'd feel like running away. She wondered if it might be best for all concerned if she did the running before the next crisis.
She couldn't even imagine what her dad would think if he found out. She knew she had to tell him at some point. He might be totally unobservant of the weight she put on now; his own beer gut making the physical fitness of others a low priority to him, but by the next month of baby growth there was almost no chance he would mistake Rikki's belly for nutritional negligence.
"Tomorrow," she kept telling herself. "I'll tell him tomorrow, after he gets paid," or "when the faucet isn't leaking," or when any number of things that weren't quite going his way should have been fixed.
Another week had gone by and another pair of trousers tossed out due to waist size before she stopped letting herself make excuses.
She waited until he was settled in his favourite armchair; a lucky find tossed out of a neighbour's place after a domestic dispute. Other than the scuffs at the top, it was practically new when he brought it in. Now the print was faded and few shades closer to grey than before, but it was large and it was comfy, and more importantly to Rikki's dad, it reclined.
"Want something to drink?" she offered. He grunted in response. Rikki's hand hovered over the container of instant coffee, but she quickly changed her mind and went for a beer. Best he was as much in his element as possible when she told him.
Unfortunately, his element also meant by the time she'd brought his beer the telly was blaring about car auctions and motorcycles.
"Dad, can I talk to you for a sec?"
She eased slightly in front of the screen, vintage enough that even her frame blocked out most of the picture.
"What?" he finally responded, peering past her as best he could. She flicked the knob and the picture went dark as she ignored his disgruntled exclamation.
"I need to tell you something. And this is important, so don't zone out on me."
"Well then make it quick," he grumbled. "That was a right beaut bein' sold and I'm missing it."
She barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes, a big part of her wanting to just leave him to his program and forget for a while longer that there was anything worth telling.
But instead she let herself grow agitated by his dismissive attitude and with hands on her hips, blurted it out as quickly as possible. "You're right. How stupid of me to think what's happening in my life is worth stopping your show for. I'd hate to interrupt that even long enough to tell you that I'm pregnant. So please, don't mind me. I'll mimic you, and ignore all my problems with the help from a couple beers."
He sat up a little straighter. Stared at her, evidently trying to judge her sincerity. Then frowned. Then his face turned an alarming shade of purple.
"You... you... You couldn't have been that stupid."
That hurt. She understood from his point of view how it must look, but that made it no less hurtful to hear the disappointment in his voice. The disconcerted frown and tears welling in his eyes were worse than any angry outburst he could have mustered.
She raised her chin defiantly, combating the tears that pricked her own eyes. "Couldn't I? I'm your daughter, after all!"
He flinched at that before his face darkened even further, and immediately she realised she'd gone too far. "Dad... I'm sorry. I just... this isn't what I wanted... how I wanted it. And the last thing I need," she blinked and swallowed, because she wasn't, just wasn't crying, "is for you to be mad at me too. I'm angry enough at myself for the both of us."
"Who's to blame?" he growled.
She was seconds away from saying, "the moon" before she came to her senses and told him the more believable, if not more truthful answer. "I am as much as anyone. I got... I lost hold of my senses one night and I don't know what I was thinking. It just... happened."
"I meant who else is to blame? Who's the father?"
As with Cleo, Rikki was not about to say. She was even more reluctant to tell her dad. While the consequences of Cleo knowing might have been embarrassment, for her dad to see Zane as a low life womanizer was too much. She also wasn't about to have him pestering the Bennetts for child support. If he was going to find out he was a father that was not the way she intended for it to happen.
Her dad let the matter go for the time being, but she was sure it was only a matter of time before the shock and disappointment faded and the real questioning began.
He was quiet and she almost left the room—left him to stew and think and process in his own time—but suddenly he stood and pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry too, darlin'. This isn't what I wanted for you either." She sighed and rested her head against his chest, her relief greater than she'd realised. "I'll have to strangle the boy, you understand," his voice gruff and perfectly serious.
She chuckled at that, wiping at her cheeks that most certainly were not the least bit wet. "Not if I strangle him first."
If her life hadn't become complicated enough, it became excruciatingly worse when on a particularly trying day of back pain and swollen feet had Lewis show up at her door.
"What is it?" she snapped, not bothering to check her tone. Lewis had her address in case of emergency, but she'd never known him to use it. He was too frightened of her. He did look out of breath, but it wasn't from intimidation. He'd evidently run from... wherever it was Lewis hung out these days.
"I just had to ask... have you changed, yet?"
Rikki glanced down at her baggy pants and the top that bore remnants of her breakfast she was quick to inhale. Her cravings hadn't changed much except that they'd intensified. "What I wear is none of your business. It's not easy finding pregnancy clothes that aren't hideous! And I wasn't going out in this, anyway!"
"No, I don't mean your clothes! Have you changed? You know... transformed? Since the... guppy?"
She raised an eyebrow at 'guppy' and scoffed. "Of course. I have to wash up sometimes, don't I? Do you know people who go three months without showering?" Her tone changed at the thought of harm befalling her little one—her guppy as Lewis christened it. "Why, did you find something out? It isn't hurting the baby, is it?"
"No, that's why I asked. I don't know either, and I wondered... Well, if something seems off let me know. I can't say there's much I can do but I have a Doppler and some other equipment. At the very least we can check the heartbeat."
Rikki sighed. She didn't want to think about all the things that could possibly go wrong, and how in the world they'd take care of her guppy if anything did. "Should I... try not to change? I mean, I don't see how I could manage, but I'll try."
"Since there's nothing we can do, I'd say don't worry about it quite yet. It's been three months already and it hasn't affected its growth as far I can tell. Just keep taking the vitamins I gave you and everything should be fine," he smiled reassuringly.
An unexpected voice boomed from behind Lewis. Mr. Chadwick had been working on his bike; a process that usually took hours, but he must have left a tool in the house or grown hungry much earlier today.
"Is this him? Is this the bloke?"
Rikki and Lewis were both too frazzled to answer. By their gaping mouths and wide-eyes, Mr. Chadwick was left to assume his suspicion correct. He stalked towards Lewis with the ferocity of a hunter with a vendetta. Rikki braced, for what, she wasn't sure.
Mr. Chadwick grabbed Lewis by the scruff of his collar and with surprising strength for a man of his body type, hoisted him several inches off the ground.
"You're not gonna leave my girl to raise this kid alone," he growled. "You're gonna do things right."
Lewis was so scared, he could do nothing more than swallow thickly and nod. "Y-yes, sir, Mr. Chadwick."
"You won't leave this trailer until the date is set."
"Dad... what are you talking about?" Rikki intervened. "What date?"
"Your wedding date," he said, never taking his fierce glare off of Lewis, "He's gonna marry you, or I'll make his life a living hell."