Thank you, Lisa, for being so great and for fixing my mistakes.

September 29th, 2007

Dear Diary,

Guess what? This week was a total fail.

And you know why?

I'll start with the things that suck the least.

I got an F on an English test. I mean… what the hell? How is that even possible? I live and breathe English. I'm not the fanciest writer in my class, but I am good. I'm always reading, writing in this thing, and speaking (correctly). And I do not do slang. No, my friend, I speak normal English. And I do not abbreviate too much in my texts, like Jess does.

Yeah, you guessed that right. She's dumb as a rock.

But that's not the point. In a year, when I hopefully will go to college, I will choose English because it's what I like the most. But with an F… I don't know. How can you be sure you're good at something when you have an F waiting for you just when you enter the classroom? I don't know, really.

The second less sucking thing that actually sucks more (I know, made no sense) is that Charlie is all secretive around me, and I'm getting tired of it. He never looks at me when he informs me he's going to Billie's, he never grumbles when the food is too salty and he never complains about my boots leaving a wet trail through the house. I mean, what the hell happened? I feel like I don't know him at all anymore.

But the thing that is bothering me the most is that Edward Cullen stopped noticing that I existed. That's right. The look he gave me the other day? Just a look, nothing else. He passed by me the whole week (more times than usual, actually) and zero, zip, nothing, nada.

Can I blame him? No, I can't. I'm no Rosalie Hale, so why would he look at me?

I'm losing faith, here. I'm sure Edward is just a phase – even though I never had one quite like this – and everything will pass in a few months naturally. But how can I be sure? Besides, I want him now. Everyone has their own one person now. Why can't I have mine, too? Why do I always have to be different from everyone else? And why can't that difference be something good and not something that separates me, which makes me stand out in horrible ways?

I know, I'm getting morose. But what can a girl do?

I'll have to prepare dinner so I can go see Emmett's football game. He begged me to go, which is kind of weird. Still, it's an excuse to see him, since he's never around anymore.

:]]]

00:34 AM

I went to the game. He was there with Tanya Denali. Fuck this, I'm done with him.

B.S.

Thank you for the reviews and the alerts. They are much appreciated :)