Chapter 15 - Happiness is Shortlived

_

Raphael had accepted a very long time ago that there just wasn't any way his family would get to truly experience the love of another. Sure, they had each other and he loved his adopted father and brothers as much as he possibly could. But to fall in love and be part of a romantic relationship was not something in the cards for a bunch of mutated half-human freaks such as themselves. They were completely unique, the four of them, no others of their kind. So far away from the turtles they used to be, but not quite the humans that they had melded with, there was no place for them in either set of species and it left them with a lonely future. And then along came April.

Raphael watched as his shy brother fell head over heels for her and he stood aside, waiting for the crash and burn to accompany her eventual rejection. But something happened, something Raphael would have NEVER in a million years expected to happen, she fell for him too. Had he not been there when she admitted it to herself, he's still not sure he would have believed it, but then he saw them kissing and it stirred something inside of him that he didn't even realize he himself had been missing.

He hadn't meant to fall for her, hell he hadn't even expected it. To be honest, he wasn't thrilled with them bringing April back to the lair that very first time. There was something about the humans above that he just didn't trust, and it took him several weeks of her repeated visits to even feel comfortable having her around. But her presence grew on him, and he saw how important she had become to his family. How she had filled all of their missing roles; the sister, the daughter, the shining ray of light in their dark, sheltered lives.

Most everything the gruff teen knew about women, he had learned from bad television. And the media had him believing that women were weak, and fragile and too much effort to fuss with. It did not take much time for him to learn none of this was true, especially when it came to April. She was easy going and also hot-tempered, fragile in her build, but tough as nails. And she was smart too, quick witted and sarcastic, and Raph knew that was part of what he liked so much about her. He had never thought it possible to have so much in common with not only a human, but a female. And even more surprising, she seemed to genuinely care for him as a dear friend, not at all put off by the fact that he was an oversized talking turtle.

It was over these last several weeks after she had moved in with them, that they had really bonded. He discovered that he treasured his alone time with her, be it discussing the latest novel or teaching her a new kata as they sparred. He found himself smiling when he caught a whiff of her fruity and distinctly female scent any time she was near him. And he was impressed at how fast she was progressing in her kunoichi training and was proud to know that he had helped her excel. It had been during one of these training sessions that he first realized his feelings for her. His redheaded partner had shown up for that day wearing a snug halter top that seemed to hug her in all the right places. And while he had long ago admitted to himself that she was indeed beautiful, it was the first time he had caught himself ogling her. She had laid him flat a few times that session, while he was caught off guard by the curve of her cleavage as she leaned in to charge him, or the strip of porcelain skin peeking out between the bottom of her top and the waistband of her cotton pants. The training she had been partaking in, a few hours a day was paying off, and her lithe frame had become more sharp and carved. Her abdomen muscles pronounced and her shoulders chiseled, a form that Raphael found quite alluring.

But he had never planned to do anything more than admire her from afar. He recognized that what Donatello had found with her was truly special and he cared for his family too much to ever come between them and their happiness, no matter how rude and uncaring he sometimes came across. He certainly hadn't intended to let her know about it either, but something had overcome him that night he had found her in his bedroom, wrapped in Donatello's scent. His mind betrayed him with jealous thoughts, just imagining all the reasons she would be marked by his brother in such a way. And seeing the hurt in her eyes, directed at himself, thinking that he was purposefully treating her poorly, he tried to explain without slipping out all the details, but as usual his temper had won over the logical side of his brain.

And now he couldn't even look her in the eye. How was he supposed to salvage their friendship? Why did he have to slip up and tell her how he felt? He could have easily gone on pretending to not be bothered, but now, having to see April giving him that look of surprise and pity… he just couldn't handle it. And he didn't even know where to start with his brother. Donnie had the right to know, to understand that he'd never try to steal her, but how could he ever explain it?

His mind whirled and he kicked some loose gravel across the rooftop as he stood watch beside Leonardo.

"Would you be quiet." Leo hushed.

"We've been up here for 30 minutes Leo, there's no one around." Raph sighed, exasperated.

They stood on a rooftop, perched above the alleyway where they had left the ShellRaiser parked earlier that night. They had been led quite a ways from the vehicle in their pursuit of Karai and with Mikey's injury it had been faster to return to the lair by foot.

After they had recollected the events of the evening with Master Splinter, and had been assured that the youngest brother merely needed a few stitches; Leo and Raph had gone back out to retrieve the vehicle. They traveled along the rooftops in silence, neither one really wanting to talk about the events of the evening. Leonardo was being overly cautious and making them wait, to ensure that there wasn't a trap waiting for them at the car.

"They're not down there Leo. We were blocks from here before we even ran into Karai."

"That doesn't mean that they weren't following us sooner." Leo replied sternly.

"Look. I know I was giving you a hard time back there, but honestly…" Raph paused and looked down at the roof to mumble the rest, "I don't think Karai knew what Dogpound was up to. He was using her as bait—without her knowledge."

Leo's attention snapped back towards his brother. When they had run into Karai earlier, it felt more like the early days of their relationship, before things had gotten complicated. She had been full of witty banter, and her strikes, while always full-force, were never aimed to kill. Leo had felt like she was giving him the chance to talk. But just as he had gotten the opportunity to remind her why she should stand at their side and not Shredder's, DogPound had appeared out of nowhere and slashed his claws at Michelangelo. DogPound's strike had the intention of being lethal, and while Mikey had been distracted by his brother's banter with Karai, he had still managed to duck out of the way enough to only catch his arm.

"You really mean that?" Leo asked, his eyes narrowed in doubt.

"I'm not going to say that I approve of you running around flirting with her, but- but I don't think she intended any harm to come our way." Raph shrugged his shoulders, knowing that what he just admitted pretty much went against every other comment he had ever made about the kunoichi, but he was feeling a little more forgiving when it came to matters of the heart.

"Huh." Leo commented, not really knowing what else to say. He was about to ask Raph another question while he appeared to be feeling honest and less judgmental than usual, when he noticed his brother's stance change and he pointed towards the building across the way.

"Hey remember how we started off here because Donnie had traced Kraang activity to this area? I think we just found it."

Leo followed his line of sight to where his brother was pointing. The window of the neighboring building had a mini blind that appeared to be half pulled apart, and behind it a broken fluorescent light flickered, inside a blast from a Kraang weapon momentarily lit up the room.

Suddenly, something very large swooshed past the window. If Leo didn't know better, he'd think it was an insect.

"Was that a giant wasp?" Raph muttered in disbelief.

XX
_

Moving around her room, April shoved a duffel bag full with personal items; some spare clothes, a few toiletries, some extra contacts and other things she thought she might need while on her outing with Master Splinter. Having already collected a mat for sleeping and a few items for training, all she had left to gather was the basic comforts.

The more she packed, the more convinced she was that this was the right course of action. She was feeling a little claustrophobic down here, and with all of the realizations she had just made about Donatello, she really needed to just… get away.

She knew that what she had been planning while she packed was a bit dramatic, but abruptly leaving had been Master Splinter's suggestion, and the rest just seemed to work along with it. It made her ache inside to think that she would upset the man she had grown to care so much about, but it was for these same reasons that she had made her plans. Her breath hitched a little as a few tears fought to break through, but she zipped up the bag and waited for Donatello to come check on her, as she knew he would.

Donnie tried his best to waste some time before checking up on April. After chatting with Mikey, he sterilized his medical instruments and slowly cleaned up the medic area of the lab. It was slowly killing him inside to wait, but he knew that sometimes April just wanted her space and he was trying his best to give it to her. And by the time he heard the beep, indicating that the steam cycle was complete. He quickly put the tools away and tried his very best to casually walk to April's room.

He knocked on brick arch that was the entryway into her room. Hearing a faint reply from within, he pushed the curtain aside and entered.

The first thing he noticed was that she had been crying. Her eyes were a bloodshot red and her eyelashes were still wet with tears.

"April, what is it?" He asked, immediately rushing to her side.

"I… I need to talk to you." She tried her best to act normal.

The terrapin ushered her over to the edge of her bed and she sat down, while he crouched in front of her.

"Donnie. Donatello…" She hiccuped a bit, trying to hold back her tears, barely able to choke out the words.

The long pause seemed to last for eternity and Donatello could sense a feeling of foreboding long before she spoke again.

"I think we should take a break, from… this." She finally got out, barely above a whisper.

She knew that she wouldn't have to clarify what 'this' was, the look on the young man's face already gave away that he understood her meaning.

"What?!" Donatello all but gasped. The words hit him like an unexpected punch to the gut. Why was this happening, what made her think such things? Just the day before they had been making out and talking about taking things to the next level. "But why? I thought… I thought you were happy?" His face fell and April could feel her heart breaking in two, but she knew that this was for the best.

"Donnie, I've started to realize something. I'm the ONLY girl you really know." Her voice quivered, but she somehow got the words out.

Donatello's mind was whirling, trying to make sense of what she was saying. "Yes, I suppose, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"You don't have any experience with other people… you just… you just think you like me because you don't know any better." The tears were welling up now and a few had escaped. April wiped her eyes with the back of her hands.

"No… No, that's not true… I know what I feel for you is more than that." Donatello was talking quickly, his brain scrambling to find the logic in her statement so that he could rebuttal.

"Donnie, how would you even know?" She challenged.

"April, I… I… why would you think that my feelings aren't genuine?"

"You and your brothers, you crave human contact so much that you start feeling things for anyone that will talk to you." She was on a roll now, able to get out her sentences without being caught up in tears. "Look at Leo, everything about Karai is dangerous; she's tried to kill us, she's Shredder's daughter, but she took interest in him and now he can't help but care for her."

"I don't think it's fair to compare what you and I have to Leo and Karai—they've never even talked without also trying to kill each other!"

"What about Mikey trying to be friends with Bradford? Or what about Raph?" April offered.

Donnie's brain jumped, 'what about Raph?' he wondered to himself.

"He confessed that his crush on me is entirely because I'm the only girl he's ever been around." She explained.

'Wait… Raph has a crush on you…?" Donatello was baffled and angrily his mind started swirling with images of the two of them together; laughing about something Mikey did, standing too close as they practiced. He didn't want to lose his focus on what April was telling him, but jealously took control of his mind.

"I just… I don't think we're together for the right reasons Donnie. This, " She gestured between the two of them. "…means so much to me and I'm worried that you're just making the best of your limited options." She concluded, a sad look on her face.

Donatello didn't know what to say, what the hell just happened? His first and only girlfriend just broke up with him and all this time, his two-timing brother has been hitting on her?!

There was a knock in the doorway that pulled them both from their focus. Splinter stood with an air of authority, pretending to not realize that he had interrupted something. "April, are you ready to leave?"

"Wait—leave? Where are you going?" Donatello was yanked back to reality. Where could she be going? Was she moving out, why didn't she tell him?

April stood and nodded hastily and looked up at her Sensei. "I just need one minute Master Splinter. My bags are collected by the turnstiles."

"Then I shall meet you there." He responded before leaving.

"Please April—what is going on? Why are you doing this?" Don was in desperation mode now. What could he possibly do to make her stay.

"I just… I need a break Donnie. I need to think things through." She had already started to head for the door, but the tall turtle had reached out and gently grabbed her by the arm.

"Are you coming back?" He asked, still confused as to what was happening and not knowing what else to ask.

"I'm going on a retreat with Splinter, we'll be back in a few days. It will give us some time to think about what I said."

'"April…" He could think of nothing he could say to change her mind.

"I'll see you in a few days." She answered, and lightly tugged her arm from his grip. She turned and fled out the door, afraid of what would happen if she stayed.

XX

End Chapter 15 - Happiness is Shortlived

A/N - sorry this one is short, but it was a good place to stop. UGH, this was a sad chapter for everyone. Not a good day for the Hamato clan. So yeah, I'm going to steal the plot point of the parasitic wasp, but I promise it won't just be a retelling of the episode. It's one of those story lines I think they could have spiced up with the addition of April and of course the added dramatics I've been building up over the last few chapters. ;)

Also, just another big thanks to all my dear readers who have been sticking around to finish this journey with me. I truly appreciate every favorite and EVERY single review. I wish that I had more time to write, so that I could post these faster, but real-life leaves me very little spare time. (Two young children and a full-time job will do that! ;)

I would love to hear what you thought about this chapter and if you have any requests/theories/plot bunnies or whatever you are expecting or hoping to see as I wrap this story up!